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Sarah Connor is cursed to be ever vigilant ([info]ever_vigilant) wrote in [info]valarnet,
@ 2012-06-23 19:26:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:eric packer, james kirk, kitty pryde (shadowcat), neena thurman (domino), pete wisdom, romany wisdom, wade wilson (deadpool)


Wanted: Fuck Buddy.
Stipulations: You don't call me the next day to talk about your emotions. You don't even call me the next day unless it's to see if you're spending the night. I like beer, whiskey, and pizza, I like my coffee black, and I don't keep cream or sugar at my apartment. If you want that shit, run to the store. I welcome offers of random takeout foods, but no MSG.

Complicated Emotional Bullshit is not an option. If you can't fit that bill, don't even bother messaging me.

I'm quirky and I'll be the first to admit it, and I don't take any shit, but I can drink with the best of them, and I'm not afraid of meeting you in person so you can see for yourself that I'm exactly who I claim to be.

You can even run a background check, son.

A british accent would be nice for reading me the phonebook a Chinese Takeout Menu one of my Gun Manuals afterwards, but isn't necessarily a requirement.

Wade, just no. And all of you Feds? Don't worry, this isn't a business transaction, so go sniff for idiotic prostitution announcements somewhere else, like Facebook.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:17 am UTC (link)
Ok, no. There's no corner market on goons, ninjas, meth-addicts, gang members, nazis, skinheads, hooligans, biker clown gangs, piss midgets, bank robbers, crime lords, terrorists, or people who make toxic bathtub gin and bottle-feed it to babies.

It's all fair game. If we ever come across those things while we're in close proximity to one another, should that day ever happen again...even if I'm probably thinking it won't...then an arse kicking is in progress.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:22 am UTC (link)
Fine, deal. And you'll get to ride behind me again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:24 am UTC (link)
No. I'm driving.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:29 am UTC (link)
You'll kill us on the back of that bloody death missile.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:32 am UTC (link)
No one touches my baby but me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:35 am UTC (link)
Can't I simply tear the roof off the car by ducking and driving it under something low enough to do the job, then throw your crotch rocket into the backseat, then drive us both in the same expertly reckless manner that I did before? You know, the sort that involved swans and small scenic lakes. And wet clingy dresses.

...you simply want to torture me more by making me ride on it, so that I look paler than usual and bloody ridiculous. Don't you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:37 am UTC (link)
Yes.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:39 am UTC (link)
Tart.

Fine. We all have to die, sometime or other. I might as well be able to die with my hands on you, somehow or other.

Then you can go home and shower off the blood and stink.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:43 am UTC (link)
Yeah, like I want my last memory of you with your brains splattered all over me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:46 am UTC (link)
If you'd like other things splattered on you, then I'm certain that can be arranged.




...you left yourself open for that one. Admit it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:48 am UTC (link)
I never did get that stain out of the ceiling.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:50 am UTC (link)
Which one? There was more than one or...oh, do you mean that stain?

If it's that stain, then it's still there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:53 am UTC (link)
Ew.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:55 am UTC (link)
That's not all on me. You helped put it there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 05:58 am UTC (link)
I barely touched you!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 06:01 am UTC (link)
You added incentive. That was enough.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 06:02 am UTC (link)
I am not going to dignify that with a response.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 06:04 am UTC (link)
That's because you know the truth of the matter, already. As do I.

It goes without saying, hmm?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 06:06 am UTC (link)
I don't want THAT much TMI online is all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 06:12 am UTC (link)
Of course, dear, since we already know the details as it is.

I'll refrain from going into the finer details, dear.

I'll stop drinking out of the milk container, dear.

I need another drink, dear.

Blah blah blaaaah.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]shadowcat
2012-06-24 06:14 am UTC (link)
What the hell is your problem? I just don't want to go into detail about my sexlife, then and now. A little innuendo is always fun though.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 06:16 am UTC (link)
What the hell is your problem? I'm giving you shite as usual. I said I wasn't going into details, so sod off.

Don't worry. I won't embarrass you in front of the current love of your life.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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