InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I shop Frandy!"

Sarah Connor is cursed to be ever vigilant (ever_vigilant) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2012-06-23 19:26:00

Entry tags:

eric packer, james kirk, kitty pryde (shadowcat), neena thurman (domino), pete wisdom, romany wisdom, wade wilson (deadpool)

Wanted: Fuck Buddy.
Stipulations: You don't call me the next day to talk about your emotions. You don't even call me the next day unless it's to see if you're spending the night. I like beer, whiskey, and pizza, I like my coffee black, and I don't keep cream or sugar at my apartment. If you want that shit, run to the store. I welcome offers of random takeout foods, but no MSG.

Complicated Emotional Bullshit is not an option. If you can't fit that bill, don't even bother messaging me.

I'm quirky and I'll be the first to admit it, and I don't take any shit, but I can drink with the best of them, and I'm not afraid of meeting you in person so you can see for yourself that I'm exactly who I claim to be.

You can even run a background check, son.

A british accent would be nice for reading me ~~the phonebook~~ ~~a Chinese Takeout Menu~~ one of my Gun Manuals afterwards, but isn't necessarily a requirement.

Wade, just no. And all of you Feds? Don't worry, this isn't a business transaction, so go sniff for idiotic prostitution announcements somewhere else, like Facebook.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:46 am UTC (link)
	Aww, you mean you aren't working there? It'd suit you so well. And I'd pay double the rate. I don't think I need any help with the abuse, ya dumbarse. Though I am going 'hmmm' at how you'd know about that place, Pryde? Sounds like you've been there before. Tell me all about it, hm? I'm all ears. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:51 am UTC (link)
	Purely innocent. Helping Jubilee help a friend figure out where her friend goes on the weekends. Got caught. That woman actually managed to use a whip to catch me, too. Then she decided I'd make a good apprentice. Frankly I'd enjoy being the one with the ballgag more, but I could get the appeal. Maybe trading off. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:52 am UTC (link)
	...I'd like to offer you an invitation to indulge in a state of perpetual, indeterminate un-matrimony with me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:58 am UTC (link)
	I'll have to decline, I left my girlfriend tied up with my other boyfriend and the land lady. I really shouldn't leave them like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Fuck 'em. If they aren't clever enough to get out on their own, they don't deserve to survive. You and I can hit ninja-land and then meth-addict-land, followed by a rollercoaster without safety braces and ice cream, afterward. Covered in liquor. ~~I didn't say if the liquor was on the ice cream, or on you.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:01 am UTC (link)
	Meth-addict land is reserved for outings with Obi-wan. But I can pencil in ninjas. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:06 am UTC (link)
	Gang members and ninjas then. I quite enjoy meth land, though. I like watching them twitch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:09 am UTC (link)
	Goon land is also taken. But I can pencil you in for gang bangers too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:11 am UTC (link)
	Who the fuck's got goon land? They can't have that. No one can corner the bloody market on goons. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:13 am UTC (link)
	Last outing involving goons was with the GF. I suppose there's always an overabundance of goons.. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:17 am UTC (link)

Ok, no. There's no corner market on goons, ninjas, meth-addicts, gang members, nazis, skinheads, hooligans, biker clown gangs, piss midgets, bank robbers, crime lords, terrorists, or people who make toxic bathtub gin and bottle-feed it to babies.

It's all fair game. If we ever come across those things while we're in close proximity to one another, should that day ever happen again...even if I'm probably thinking it won't...then an arse kicking is in progress.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:22 am UTC (link)
	Fine, deal. And you'll get to ride behind me again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:24 am UTC (link)
	No. I'm driving. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:29 am UTC (link)
	You'll kill us on the back of that bloody death missile. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:32 am UTC (link)
	No one touches my baby but me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mister_wisdom
2012-06-24 05:35 am UTC (link)

Can't I simply tear the roof off the car by ducking and driving it under something low enough to do the job, then throw your crotch rocket into the backseat, then drive us both in the same expertly reckless manner that I did before? You know, the sort that involved swans and small scenic lakes. And wet clingy dresses.

...you simply want to torture me more by making me ride on it, so that I look paler than usual and bloody ridiculous. Don't you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:37 am UTC (link)
	Yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:39 am UTC (link)
	Tart. Fine. We all have to die, sometime or other. I might as well be able to die with my hands on you, somehow or other. Then you can go home and shower off the blood and stink. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:43 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, like I want my last memory of you with your brains splattered all over me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:46 am UTC (link)
	If you'd like other things splattered on you, then I'm certain that can be arranged. ...you left yourself open for that one. Admit it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:48 am UTC (link)
	I never did get that stain out of the ceiling. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:50 am UTC (link)
	Which one? There was more than one or...oh, do you mean that stain? If it's that stain, then it's still there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)