InsaneJournal

It was quite inconvenient having to do away with an independently separate version of myself. Even so, I always welcome keeping yet another spare brain on standby in case of brain injury or self-liquification.

I'm pleased to announce this month's SRDI hot ticket item, courtesy of our toy development division. Perfect even for Halloween (as part of a yard display), I'd like to introduce

THE AMAZING MAGIC GROW OCTOPUS WITH WRIGGLING TENTACLES!

Now you too can own a tentacle monster! Great gift for kids and loved ones. Tell them if you had all the arms of an octopus, that it would be even more hugs for them! The octopus is twelve inches in diameter, simply place in your bath tub and add lukewarm water and watch it spring to life! Chemical additives guarantee that your octopus will have wriggling arms for up to six hours after removing it from the water. Item will dehydrate outside of the tub and shrink. Simply place it back in and run more water back onto it, for hours of fun! The current longevity of this toy is three to six months before chemical meltdown of guaranteed tentacle-based entertainment. Fun for everyone!

Product Warning: The Shinigami Research & Development Institute (herein referred to as the SRDI) is not responsible for consumer water bills incurred after purchase of this product. Not safe for pets as a chew toy. May cause allergies in individuals that are allergic to latex condoms or other similar synthetic materials. Frequent skin-to-product contact may cause either a minor rash or hives, in people that are already susceptible. Do not lubricate. Do not place tentacles in bodily orifices, especially those that contain moisture, which could cause further and sudden rapid expansion of the appendage and require surgical removal. Designed and developed by the SRDI, produced with unsafe materials in China.