InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Lets get out of here"

Enjolras isn't a statue, really (solo_patria) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2013-04-19 20:48:00

Current mood:	depressed
Entry tags:	alyssa hamilton, beleg cuthalion, combeferre, enjolras, jean valjean, sif, wilee

I've come here for advice again, Valarnet, after having done something terrible, immature and insulting the other day and having no idea how to begin to make up for it. Essentially, I acted in anger and dishonored my friends, all of the sacrifices they have made in this world, and the last one from the dreams, dishonored our cause, and everything that matters most in it. I acted in anger, throwing out a very sacred phrase, alluding to a very sacred principle sarcastically. It is a cause that I, and that those who mean the most to me take very seriously.

I was upset and had given into anger after trying to explain myself in a private commentary and keeping my cool through the whole exchange, but that is no excuse for what I've done and how I may have hurt my friends in doing so. I not only used the phrase in a fight, but used them in front of someone who is not one of us and does not understand, giving her ammunition, if she seeks it, against our cause, that she might use.

This dishonor, this gross and terrible disrespect, and failure before the things that I hold dear, before my brothers, cannot stand, but I've no idea how to start the reparations process. How does one apologize for rash words used in anger that should have taken a much cooler head and hand to form, particularly when you've managed it for the entirety of the rest of the comment and post? How does one go about even starting to try, besides begging forgiveness and hoping they are not found lacking?

I would welcome suggestions, yes.

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	solo_patria 2013-04-20 01:16 am UTC (link)
	At the moment? Ensuring that we do not look completely insane. This is more of a...In that other world of the dreams, the last life, we're acting against the state. The fact that I so carelessly betray things like that here concerns me. A great deal. I may need to consider banning myself from replying in haste for a while. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 01:35 am UTC (link)
	Why would you look completely insane, from something that happened in dreams? Unless you're going to act on it instead of talk about it, and then that might be a problem. Sometimes, some of us are our own worst enemies, sometimes! That might be the wisest course, but I can't really tell you what choice you should make. That's not for me to tell. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

solo_patria
2013-04-20 02:49 am UTC (link)

I haven't acted on it as such. I slip into feeling that I'm in the dreams sometimes, as in, my mental and historical state there, but I'm also good at separating things and realizing when I'm doing that, and that the contexts have changed and that it's mentally unhealthy.

I don't so much act on it as text when I'm in my historical state and people are worried, naturally but I'm also AWARE it's happening. I'm a little afraid the person in question is going to think I've gone too far and get me put into a mental facility of some kind.

Otherwise, yeah. Trying NOT to be my enemy. :)

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	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 03:03 am UTC (link)
	That's good. It doesn't do to be one's own worst enemy. I tend to follow the rule of do as thou wilt but harm none, and I try to do as much good as I'm able to. As long as you aren't in danger of harming yourself or harming anyone else, as long as you realize when that's happening? Then there shouldn't be any cause for a straight jacket! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 03:11 am UTC (link)
	I am going to hope so. I have it on very good authority that red is my color instead of white. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 03:18 am UTC (link)
	Usually when I see the color red, it means I'm bleeding and I'm in need of those white gauze bandages! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 03:24 am UTC (link)
	This sounds like a good friend of mine, I'm afraid. Bossuet has the same things happening to him a LOT. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 03:27 am UTC (link)
	Alas for those of us who are amongst the accident prone! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 04:05 am UTC (link)
	Indeed. In Bossuet's case it tends to be more bad luck but perhaps a bit with accidents. He is no longer allowed to touch things when we go out at least. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 04:08 am UTC (link)
	He's not attacked by grizzly bears? What luck! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 04:10 am UTC (link)
	Well...I can't think that we would place him in that predicament, no. Unless a grizzly bear came charging up the street and into the coffee shop. Which could happen with him. I must admit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 04:42 am UTC (link)
	SEE? YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN OR WHERE THE BEARS WILL SHOW UP. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:30 am UTC (link)
	So should I get some sort of slingshot? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 05:49 am UTC (link)
	I would recommend something a bit stronger than a slingshot? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 07:02 am UTC (link)
	I...have never considered modern street weaponry, or archery, I must confess. I could see me with a rifle somehow but bows are....new. Recommendations would depend on what exactly? Because I'm curious. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

beleg_cuthalion
2013-04-20 05:34 pm UTC (link)

I confess that I never had much of an affinity with rifles. I always thought it took more skill during a hunt, to use bow. But that's only personal preference. I have used rifles before and hunted with those who prefer them.

A slingshot is useful against rabbits (which are delicious), but it might make the bear angrier if the shot unintendedly goes astray. Then it would try to eat your face off!

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	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	True. But if we refer to urban defenses then I am not sure that strapping a large weapon to my back is PRACTICAL as such. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	If you have the right bow, then people assume you're on your way to a Renascence fair. It's not as though it's an arrow launcher, capable of firing 30 arrows in under five seconds! :) You're probably right? It's probably better to not carry around large weapons, given the state of affairs lately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose I'm a BIT curious about what that might be. A bit. But ordinarily, right. In my other life, in the dreams, it's different and more acceptable that our weapons are a stronger part of our lives but not so much in this day and age and I hardly would wish to create panic. I'll consider the bow issue at any rate. It may be fun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

beleg_cuthalion
2013-04-20 07:50 pm UTC (link)

Of course, such weapons are never to be turned or used on another human being. I'd perish the thought! But for the sake of hunting, and eating what one hunts, that's a much different story. I prefer to live self sufficiently. This day and age is much more different than it might be in your dreams you're having. For relaxation purposes, say...target practice? That would be much more acceptable.

Give some archery a try, someday? It may help you focus and find a center of calm in the midst of a storm. :)

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	solo_patria 2013-04-20 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	When I have the time to relax, maybe I will. I do need to improve my shooting at any rate, even there, and so something to aim at might be a good bonus anyway. Maybe after graduation, provided I have time with work, blogging, classes and community work. It might be interesting. What WOULD you recommend for 6'0 about 125 pounds? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	We would have to test your draw strength for a bow, but I think I have a solution which could be the best of both worlds? Perhaps you should try crossbows, when and if you have the time. It might be a better fit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	I may well consider it. Or bring a friend along. It may be fun. And good for urban defenses against those bears. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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