InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You forgot Poland!"

Enjolras isn't a statue, really (solo_patria) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2013-04-19 20:48:00

Current mood:	depressed
Entry tags:	alyssa hamilton, beleg cuthalion, combeferre, enjolras, jean valjean, sif, wilee

I've come here for advice again, Valarnet, after having done something terrible, immature and insulting the other day and having no idea how to begin to make up for it. Essentially, I acted in anger and dishonored my friends, all of the sacrifices they have made in this world, and the last one from the dreams, dishonored our cause, and everything that matters most in it. I acted in anger, throwing out a very sacred phrase, alluding to a very sacred principle sarcastically. It is a cause that I, and that those who mean the most to me take very seriously.

I was upset and had given into anger after trying to explain myself in a private commentary and keeping my cool through the whole exchange, but that is no excuse for what I've done and how I may have hurt my friends in doing so. I not only used the phrase in a fight, but used them in front of someone who is not one of us and does not understand, giving her ammunition, if she seeks it, against our cause, that she might use.

This dishonor, this gross and terrible disrespect, and failure before the things that I hold dear, before my brothers, cannot stand, but I've no idea how to start the reparations process. How does one apologize for rash words used in anger that should have taken a much cooler head and hand to form, particularly when you've managed it for the entirety of the rest of the comment and post? How does one go about even starting to try, besides begging forgiveness and hoping they are not found lacking?

I would welcome suggestions, yes.

(Post a new comment)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 01:08 am UTC (link)
	Maybe a simple I'm sorry and explaining what happened, might suffice? Or you could simply post it on the net and maybe the person will read it. If all else fails, GO HUNTING FOR A FEW YEARS! It's liberating! What is your cause, that saying something to someone else might be used against you and your friends? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 01:16 am UTC (link)
	At the moment? Ensuring that we do not look completely insane. This is more of a...In that other world of the dreams, the last life, we're acting against the state. The fact that I so carelessly betray things like that here concerns me. A great deal. I may need to consider banning myself from replying in haste for a while. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 01:35 am UTC (link)
	Why would you look completely insane, from something that happened in dreams? Unless you're going to act on it instead of talk about it, and then that might be a problem. Sometimes, some of us are our own worst enemies, sometimes! That might be the wisest course, but I can't really tell you what choice you should make. That's not for me to tell. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

solo_patria
2013-04-20 02:49 am UTC (link)

I haven't acted on it as such. I slip into feeling that I'm in the dreams sometimes, as in, my mental and historical state there, but I'm also good at separating things and realizing when I'm doing that, and that the contexts have changed and that it's mentally unhealthy.

I don't so much act on it as text when I'm in my historical state and people are worried, naturally but I'm also AWARE it's happening. I'm a little afraid the person in question is going to think I've gone too far and get me put into a mental facility of some kind.

Otherwise, yeah. Trying NOT to be my enemy. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 03:03 am UTC (link)
	That's good. It doesn't do to be one's own worst enemy. I tend to follow the rule of do as thou wilt but harm none, and I try to do as much good as I'm able to. As long as you aren't in danger of harming yourself or harming anyone else, as long as you realize when that's happening? Then there shouldn't be any cause for a straight jacket! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 03:11 am UTC (link)
	I am going to hope so. I have it on very good authority that red is my color instead of white. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 03:18 am UTC (link)
	Usually when I see the color red, it means I'm bleeding and I'm in need of those white gauze bandages! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 03:24 am UTC (link)
	This sounds like a good friend of mine, I'm afraid. Bossuet has the same things happening to him a LOT. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 03:27 am UTC (link)
	Alas for those of us who are amongst the accident prone! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 04:05 am UTC (link)
	Indeed. In Bossuet's case it tends to be more bad luck but perhaps a bit with accidents. He is no longer allowed to touch things when we go out at least. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 04:08 am UTC (link)
	He's not attacked by grizzly bears? What luck! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 04:10 am UTC (link)
	Well...I can't think that we would place him in that predicament, no. Unless a grizzly bear came charging up the street and into the coffee shop. Which could happen with him. I must admit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 04:42 am UTC (link)
	SEE? YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN OR WHERE THE BEARS WILL SHOW UP. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:30 am UTC (link)
	So should I get some sort of slingshot? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 05:49 am UTC (link)
	I would recommend something a bit stronger than a slingshot? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 07:02 am UTC (link)
	I...have never considered modern street weaponry, or archery, I must confess. I could see me with a rifle somehow but bows are....new. Recommendations would depend on what exactly? Because I'm curious. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

beleg_cuthalion
2013-04-20 05:34 pm UTC (link)

I confess that I never had much of an affinity with rifles. I always thought it took more skill during a hunt, to use bow. But that's only personal preference. I have used rifles before and hunted with those who prefer them.

A slingshot is useful against rabbits (which are delicious), but it might make the bear angrier if the shot unintendedly goes astray. Then it would try to eat your face off!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	True. But if we refer to urban defenses then I am not sure that strapping a large weapon to my back is PRACTICAL as such. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	If you have the right bow, then people assume you're on your way to a Renascence fair. It's not as though it's an arrow launcher, capable of firing 30 arrows in under five seconds! :) You're probably right? It's probably better to not carry around large weapons, given the state of affairs lately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose I'm a BIT curious about what that might be. A bit. But ordinarily, right. In my other life, in the dreams, it's different and more acceptable that our weapons are a stronger part of our lives but not so much in this day and age and I hardly would wish to create panic. I'll consider the bow issue at any rate. It may be fun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

beleg_cuthalion
2013-04-20 07:50 pm UTC (link)

Of course, such weapons are never to be turned or used on another human being. I'd perish the thought! But for the sake of hunting, and eating what one hunts, that's a much different story. I prefer to live self sufficiently. This day and age is much more different than it might be in your dreams you're having. For relaxation purposes, say...target practice? That would be much more acceptable.

Give some archery a try, someday? It may help you focus and find a center of calm in the midst of a storm. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	When I have the time to relax, maybe I will. I do need to improve my shooting at any rate, even there, and so something to aim at might be a good bonus anyway. Maybe after graduation, provided I have time with work, blogging, classes and community work. It might be interesting. What WOULD you recommend for 6'0 about 125 pounds? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-20 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	We would have to test your draw strength for a bow, but I think I have a solution which could be the best of both worlds? Perhaps you should try crossbows, when and if you have the time. It might be a better fit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	I may well consider it. Or bring a friend along. It may be fun. And good for urban defenses against those bears. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ladysifthefair 2013-04-20 01:25 am UTC (link)
	You're apologizing for using your ridiculous signature instead of anything you said. You really don't know me at all. Or care. I give you my word, for what little you think of it, that I'll never darken your path again. You really are evil. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 01:28 am UTC (link)
	I don't understand what else I said that was wrong, to tell you the truth. I appreciate that you care about me and have tried to repay it as best as I can. I didn't say anything else in that comment that was not the truth or cooly reasoned before I said it. It honestly confuses me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ladysifthefair 2013-04-20 01:37 am UTC (link)
	Ask Combeferre. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	to_be_free 2013-04-20 01:50 am UTC (link)
	Combeferre resents being held up as an authority by someone who has previously disagreed with his ideas on how to help Enjolras, especially now that they have refered to Enjolras as "evil." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Combeferre ladysifthefair 2013-04-20 01:53 am UTC (link)
	I was being sarcastic. And a better word would have been "soulless." Don't worry, you can have your little snipe, I won't answer again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sif to_be_free 2013-04-20 02:03 am UTC (link)
	I will do you the favor of not replying again as well, as I do not enjoy conversing with those who feel that those I love can be well described by terms like "evil" and "soulless." (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fixednobrakes 2013-04-20 01:30 am UTC (link)
	Let her calm down. Let yourself calm down. I repeat; let things cool down my God. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 01:37 am UTC (link)
	I am perfectly calm and just confused as to what Sif is finding wrong here, I suppose. There is nothing to cool down about as long as I don't wind up in some psychological evaluation that I do not need. I have been trying to be clear here but I am not angry or anything else about this. I legitimately do not understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fixednobrakes 2013-04-20 01:50 am UTC (link)
	No dude, I'm trying to say let things cool down. Let there be some time, because if she's really angry and you're really confused, neither one of those is going to go away if you talk about it right now. Trust me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 01:55 am UTC (link)
	Okay, that IS a better point. Thanks. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	no24601 2013-04-20 01:33 am UTC (link)
	Son, honesty and patience are your only recourse in these situations. And, if I may be delicate, privacy. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 01:46 am UTC (link)
	Honesty I've done. I will work on the others. Thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	four_leaves 2013-04-20 03:25 am UTC (link)
	Make sure the other person is in a place where they're mentally ready to receive your apology. Both parties must be ready or it won't work. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 03:28 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. That IS a good point. Also, we're friends? I heard that mentioned the other day and had no idea you thought of me as such. But thank you. I can do the same. I'd like to, I mean. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	four_leaves 2013-04-20 03:32 am UTC (link)
	You're welcome. Porcupine, you can consider me whatever you like. Friendship exists regardless of labels. I'm your friend no matter what. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 04:04 am UTC (link)
	Confusing but...I appreciate that. And it IS good to have that settled now. I would have sooner thought that it was you and Courf who were the friends but now that I DO know...It's appreciated. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	four_leaves 2013-04-20 04:12 am UTC (link)
	I'm friends with him too. I have a few friends. Did you know you're more handsome? Just in case you need something to lord over him when he peacocks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 04:16 am UTC (link)
	Well of course you do and should. I was just not sure I was among them before and was more of a...hanger on as it were. I...have never actually considered my looks for much before. I will keep it in mind for those moments. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	four_leaves 2013-04-20 04:21 am UTC (link)
	Actually, people hang onto you. You've got a strange sort of ... I don't know, charisma. You're beautiful. You may as well leverage it into a few moments of silence, yeah? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	solo_patria 2013-04-20 05:29 am UTC (link)
	I....all right? Thank you for that. I'll...keep it in mind should I need to. (Reply to this) (Parent)