ιѕαвєℓα (rivaini) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-06-17 20:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, garrett hawke, isabela, killian jones (captain hook), regina mills (evil queen) |
Who: Isabela, Hawke, Killian, and Regina (plus Dog)
What: Bela takes them out for Lady Sunshine's maiden voyage, but of course they come across a kraken
When: This weekend
Where: Out in the wild blue sea!
Rating/Warnings: Pretty low, just violence against a giant squid (and references to tentacle porn)
Status: Complete
Isabela tended to describe sailing as flying, a dance over waves crested with white and cleaving paths through wind-whipped water. It was freedom to set sail into the wide open blue and leave the duties of things that landlubbers did behind her. The ocean called to her like a lover and whispered sweet nothings in her ear (good thing her husband didn’t get too jealous over this) - no doubt when she died, finally left this wild and crazy adventure known as life, she would leave instructions for her ashes to be scattered at sea so she could forever roam in the place she loved so much. On Lady Sunshine’s maiden voyage, she brought Hawke and some friends, not to mention one happened to be a fellow pirate - apparently Killian the bum-grabbing Captain had helped Hawke pick out this beauty, and he shared his sailing wisdom before they’d taken off into the salty brine, breathing in the air also kissed with salt. It was no trouble to get them off started right, since Killian couldn’t bloody well count how many times he’d seen boats bashing violently into the sea with all their sails down and their engines running full out, burning tonnes of fuel while crawling along at turtle speeds with their passengers experiencing pukey discomfort. Not on his watch. Gods no. “A perfect day and there’s rum,” Killian sighed, taking a swig straight from the bottle of Captain Morgan. It was dark rum, his favourite for getting scorched beneath the big orange ball in the sky. Isabela drove, steering, her hair whipping about in the wind. She had it pulled back beneath a handkerchief, though some strands slipped free. “Makes me want to steal something!” But honestly, what didn’t? How surprisingly luxurious and no, the fabled Evil Queen didn’t mean that with her staple sarcasm - the boat was stylish, equipped with modern necessities, and the bar selection had been put together with effort. Unsurprising, really, when the two owners of the boat owned a bar. Ultimately it meant Regina could indulge in a Bombay Sapphire martini with the wind in her hair, sun kissing bare skin, not burning but it’d give it a layer of warm gold. That bit of Latin blood helped. “Not much to steal out here unless we feel like engaging in battle with another boat,” she pointed out, although they were out at sea with two pirates so she wouldn’t toss it out of the realm of possibility. Hawke wouldn’t either. “Don’t give them ideas,” he retorted, those chinky sunglasses from their bounty excursion over his eyes and he’d felt a million times better now that the anti-nausea medication kicked in. Bela’s speed plus the tilting motions of water and balls, he would be on the side feeding the fishes with his vomit. Not Dog, though. Dog was next to Isabela, smiling. “Aw, who’s a good boy? You’d plunder another boat with me, wouldn’t you?” Bela asked that drooly beast, dropping a hand from the console to give Dog some well-earned scritches behind the ears. “You’ve got much better sea legs than your dad too, don’t you.” The mabari warhound looked downright comfortable on this vessel! Which was more than she could say for her darling spouse, but he was out here sailing when it wasn’t his most favourite thing to do and he was being supportive - he’d be appropriately thanked for his efforts later on (it might involve dirty things). To ensure Hawke didn’t actually puke over the side of Sunshine, however, Bela slowed up to take them into a pace more leisurely - less sea spray and wind whipping the hair, you see. Now they could just float and drink and bake out in the sun, and it’d be glorious. “You’re alright, mate?” Killian asked Hawke in amusement, giving him a pat on the shoulder with his good hand. This was one excursion where he’d actually worn the hook - they were far enough from civilization that he could simply change back to the prosthetic later, but he ultimately didn’t want to get it wet. Besides, the hook might be useful for fishing. And he felt more like himself with it on anyway. “Oh, he’s good! He told me even in Kirkwall that he was a terrible sailor,” Bela grinned fondly, scooting over to plant a smooch on Hawke’s scruffy cheek. “He’ll be all set for your wedding though - it’s coming up, innit? At least the Roger will be stationary the whole time.” Kirkwall’s Champion wouldn’t puke, he was sure of it! But perhaps testing that theory in company wouldn’t be the best way to continue Lady Sunshine’s maiden voyage, nor did he think anyone on the boat wanted to see him dry heave pathetically on the side. Regardless, he was drinking. Even snagged the Captain Morgan from Killian - don’t hog now, mate - for a glug (washed down with some water, he needed to stay hydrated!). “Oh, yes, that’s right, just beyond the summer?” In the scenario Orange County was outright losing it’s mind then Regina would argue they sail off away from it during their nuptials - for the sake of peace and sanity and so she wouldn’t telekinetically choke innocent civilians out of frustration. “Indeed, September,” she confirmed, crossing her legs. There was a light, sleeveless cardigan over the white bikini. “Meara’s birthday month and the weather’s expected to be less smothering, so we thought it’d be a good of a time as any.” “All these baby birthdays are making me feel ancient,” Hawke expressed in awe. A year in September? He recalled them waiting a bit for the official adoption but the day he met the little one for the first time, bringing in a bag of personally crocheted baby offerings - felt like yesterday. A year, really? Isabela’s eyes widened in surprise - she remembered when Hawke met the wee sea queen, but it hadn’t seemed like that long ago. “Oh, cock, time goes way too quickly,” she sighed, bare feet padding along the deck to where the drinks were stashed. She got herself some ice water for a job well done at navigating them out here - but chased that water with a swig of rum, naturally. After stealing the bottle from her husband and giving it back. “Tell me about it,” Killian groused. Only because he was wanting to keep his little starfish all young and cute forever - no doubt everything she did would be cute though, even when she was sixty, but still. Her chubby legs and tiny fingernails were just too precious. “She’s crawling and babbling all the time now. Also teething.” One day, Isabela might entertain the notion of having a shitter of her own - but right now, she was content with Dog. She knew that, when the time came, Hawke would be a really good father. Like his had been. And she’d be an epically better mum than her own, that was for fucking certain. Swallowing another shot of rum, she wiped her mouth and went to find a fluffy pillow to sit on, on the bench up on deck, but as soon as she sat she felt this...ripple. A wave beneath them. Or something beneath them. “Alright, that wasn’t just flatulence - or was it you, Dog?” Regina’s thought process mirrored Killian’s. Meara tiny, innocent, completely reliant on them and smiling every moment they walked into the room - she wanted those moments to last forever before adolescence came knocking on their door. Maybe nurture would defeat nature and none of Zelena’s sterling characteristics would bleed through. “Which is why this invitation out here to relax is godsent, and -” No, she felt that too. So did Hawke. That’s why she went silent and he raised a serious brow, and why Dog’s silence only lasted briefly. There was a rumble in the mabari’s throat, a slow and rising growl that led the mage to believe something was amiss. Trust in Dog, he’d always say. Curious, he leaned over on the side of the boat to investigate but all he saw was water so blue they must have been cruising along liquid sapphire - there was no visible bottom at all, just a deep oceanic abyss hiding all of its wonders and horrors. “A whale, perhaps? People whale watch around these parts, don’t they?” Isabela leaned over too, on the other side of the deck - she saw the water rippling, yes, the light slosh of the boat. But nothing particularly amiss. “That’s just what we need, to run into a bloody whale and have it swallow us like something out of Pinocchio,” she huffed, and her hackles had risen too - just like Dog’s. Because no one, no force of nature or mysterious entity, was going to fuck with her beautiful, big boat. Except for, perhaps, the creature whose giant, slimy head popped up a bit from the water a ways away - a giant, slimy head with dark, murky eyes to go with giant, slithering tentacles. If they wanted a source for the rippling and rumbling, well, there you go. A humongous squid had a few limbs to spare. Killian recognised it immediately and Regina might too. “It’s a kraken,” he groaned, experiencing a severe case of deja vu. Granted, the last thing he’d killed a kraken the circumstances were different (and it’d been more 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea as opposed to Drunken Pirates, a Queen, a Bearded Mage, and a Dog). “You know, fucking giant squids. Their ink is useful, not to mention their blood - “ THUMP, there went the boat rocking. Because it was being tentacle-slapped, and Isabela was not amused. “Kill it with fire!” Oh what the - what the bloody fuck all was that??! Killian’s words were gracious enough to offer an explanation, but now the boat was tilting in a way that was clearly unstable and was making him nervous and oh, look at those things. “I saw a porn like this once!” Regina groaned. Best to swallow all of her martini before it was wasted and plus, she clearly needed the liquid courage to endure their latest obstacle. “We’re getting attacked by a tentacle monster and your mind goes straight to porn?!” Erm, well. “Yes,” admitted the blood mage. Dog snarled and barked, the sound vicious, and he already had his paws up on the rails of the boat to snap at the tentacles licking at his mistress’ anniversary gift. “But nevermind that, he’s got a good point! Kill it!” With fire. Fire was an excellent idea and as it turns out, there were two magic-types onboard able to harness the elements even if they were surrounded by the direct opposite of what was to be summoned. In the queen’s hands was an inferno incarnate, swirling orange flames that grew with intensity. For Hawke, his staff wasn’t in vicinity (and he noted to himself to keep one in stock on this goddamn boat next time), but his blood held the power - not the staff - and it was a storm he called forth, one of fire. And the two rained hell. God’s holy trousers, that was quite a spectacle - though honestly, Killian wasn’t surprised that the two of them turned to the flames of hell to solve this tentacle-porn of a problem. He also wasn’t going to bring up that he once saw a pornographic film like this too - he and Hawke could discuss later. The nuances of weird Asian films, et cetera. “Wait, I need - “ Killian ran to the other side of the rocking boat, breathing in smoke (it smelled like scorched seafood out here now, how lovely) and leaned over as far as he could get. The fifth or sixth tentacle lashed out, and he slammed his hook down - like he was drilling for oil, but in this case, it was more like blood. He couldn’t get to the sac of ink without flipping the bloody thing over, and he wasn’t at a good angle for that. “Christ, where’s an empty bottle when you need one...” Had he drank all the rum? Hopefully so. Isabela, meanwhile, was attempting to keep Lady Sunshine as steady as possible while her companions attacked tentacles - even Dog was in on it, that was nice. “Getting a little heated up here,” she grinned, thriving off the chaos. The adventure. How fun! Nope, Regina had literally no interest to ever eavesdrop on that tentacle conversation - she was too busy trying to turn this thing into fried calamari, thank you, all while making sure she had a good grip on the boat so it wouldn’t buck her off like a wild horse with the thrashing. Hawke wasn’t so fortunate. Didn’t he mention he wasn’t a good sailor? Because he wasn’t, and he’d lost his grip with how slippery everything suddenly became with the waves of this debacle splashing everywhere, even so high up as to get them. And at one point he distinctly remembered being on the boat and now he wasn’t, and he was dangling off the side with a tentacle wrapped around his ankle. BALLS. “Take me to dinner first, why don’t you!!” he shouted to the blasted beast. “And don’t you dare slither your slimy appendage up my swimming briefs, that is sexual harassment!” “Does someone want to cut Mr. Sassy free so I don’t roast him alive?!” Unless Isabela preferred her husband toasty, but Regina would rather not have the scent of burnt flesh mix with burnt sea slime while she’d been granting Killian’s demand of fire. And there went another wave, an epic SPLASH as the boat teetered to the left - Isabela slipped and slid just a bit (salt water on everything, even up her nose and in her ears - she loved the ocean but this was a bit much), not wanting to guide them backward and wedge themselves free from the clutches of the tentacles while Hawke was dangling overboard. Which...fuck that. No squid-thing was going to steal her husband! "You let go of him, you menace," she shouted at the kraken, drawing her blades (naturally she had her daggers on her, when was a rogue not carrying knives - even while wearing a bikini top and shorts?) and moving so fast she disappeared and reappeared where Hawke was, the blade catching the tentacle that had him - it sliced through easily, and she sheathed her dagger, reaching down to grasp at him. Killian was there too, having stashed the bottle of kraken's blood (which...may or may not have stained the boat in a spray when he gutted part of it with his hook, sorry Isabela), and he reached down to give the lady a hand in pulling Hawke up. "We've got to move or it'll pull us under," he said with a grunt. "Although my fiancee roasting a kraken in a swimsuit, that may have fallen under 'fantasies fulfilled.'" Once she was sure Hawke was back where he needed to be, Bela went to gun the engine - the kraken was severely burned and cut up, beginning to slide off the boat. Killian was right though, the tentacles were dead weight enough to drag the boat down too, and she quickly began maneuvering them out of its slackening grip. Such a compliment from her betrothed pirate, indeed - but this is not how Regina imagined their day of relaxation in pleasant company to have continued. Nor did she think she’d get wet by massive tentacles that lashed the water, therefore dousing them wet as fish. And now that they were on the move, she chose to cease the fireballing and cling to something sturdy (like Killian) so she wouldn’t end up overboard like the mouthy mage. Who was fine, by the way. A little disgusted, but the mouthy mage was fine. “Didn’t we say this thing needed cannons?” he spat some salt water out. Dog was right by his master’s side, protective and ready to haul him around by his shorts if needed. What a hound. “This is what I get for traveling open waters with two pirates,” sighed her majesty, jaded and yet so utterly amused - they were alive, weren’t they? “I’ll assume that relaxing out in the ocean will always turn into fighting a sea monster. Dare I ask how close this was to the porn?” Garrett huffed. “With the way that thing was sliding up my leg, very close. I feel violated. I need the touch of a woman to feel clean again. Isabela.” "You've got some strange tastes, love, but I rather like it," Isabela huffed breathlessly, adrenaline coursing through her and heart positively racing from that debacle. She was utterly soaked too (not in the dirty way) but she leaned in and planted a kiss on Hawke's scruffy jaw, giving his bum a wet slap. "How's that for the touch of a woman?" She even groped his man junk for good measure too - so loving, she was. Killian chuckled, the sound warbled in his throat, but he was relieved that hadn't gone worse as he slid an arm around Regina in all of their drowned rat glory. "We almost made it through the day without being attacked by a sea monster?" he offered. "There's still some time left. And anyway, I got some of its blood. It can help you cross realms - not that I envision us doing that anytime soon but what can I say. Greedy pirate." He just had to have it, since the opportunity presented itself. "Oh, I don't know, might be fun to visit Oz or something?" Bela laughed, finding towels that hadn't become smelly wet rags and passing them out now that they were back on course. “Of course you got some of its blood,” Regina sighed, kissing Killian’s salty mouth despite her exasperation. Fond exasperation, mind you. It was what she often felt around him. “You see and monster and you find a way to capitalize on it somehow.” Hawke felt a little better now. A little. Bela might have to pay close attention to his nether regions later on but for the moment, he felt like he could make it through the day. “My vote’s Wonderland while we’re on a couple of hallucinogenic herbs, to really get into the experience.” “My vote’s on those being two awful, awful ideas.” Killian would also veto both Oz and Wonderland. No bloody thank you. “Pirate,” he cheekily reminded his beloved, draping the towel around Regina. The big ball in the sky would also help dry them off soon enough - it was delightfully warm out here, and hopefully there wouldn’t be any more interruptions. “Please tell me we’ve got some rum left though - besides the bottle we effortlessly killed.” Or filled with kraken’s blood, either one. Never fear, Isabela was here to save the day! “How about tequila?” she offered happily. There was nothing like a bit of heatstroke and downing that golden ambrosia - sunburn made it taste better, that she was convinced of. “Tequila sunrises, maybe?” Killian asked hopefully, looking at Hawke imploringly. Sapphiric bedroom eyes. Who could resist. And don’t judge him, he liked hard liquor but the fruity cocktails were delicious too and fuck you if you didn’t have the good sense to realise. He’d drink anything, when you got down to it. Oh, fine. “Considering you helped rescue my delectable arse,” Hawke mumbled, all in good humor however - and drinks were a fine way of putting his sexual assault via bloody kraken in the past. He may not be a master potion crafter but oh, give him ingredients for cocktails and he’d come up with something so dangerously delicious you’d never guess how you managed to wake up in an alley with a sore bum and missing knickers hours later. “Tequila sunrises for all, but most importantly for the fruitcake begging for it. Make sure to drink it with your pinky out, mate.” Regina preferred her tequila straight, usually, but alright, she’d indulge in the tasty mix too - a celebratory round for what they survived and gods help the monster that tried pulling them down under. They’d simply fight it drunk. |