Logs

WHO: Thalia Grace and Killian Jones
WHERE: Killian and Regina’s place
WHEN: Oct 7
WHAT: Thalia gets a tool that might help Luke
RATING: PG
STATUS: log; completed

( ... )

Who: Killian & Kenzi (plus appearances by Regina and Garcian)
What: A sibling dance of bonding at the Jones Wedding
When: Tonight
Where: The Jolly Roger
Rating/Warnings: Mentions of death, language, Hawke is somewhere being the ass-grabbing fairy
Status: Complete!

( He didn’t have a mother for the ‘mother-groom’ traditional dance but he had a sister who was more than willing to step in and improvise. )

Who: Kenzi & Garcian Smith, with Killian & Regina
What: Kenzi dies, and Garcie's summoned for a battle of wills against a valkyrie over her soul
When: This morning
Where: Casa de Disney Villains
Rating/Warning: Death, language, Kenzi being ecstatic she didn't poop herself
Status: Complete!

( He wouldn’t stop until he felt a heartbeat under his hands. )

Who: Killian & Elsa
What: Having a cuppa (with crumpets, probably) after some bad dreams
When: Last weekend
Where: A tea room in the OC
Rating/Warnings: Clean as a whistle~
Status: Complete

( One of the best things about London had been the tea. )

Who: Hooked Queen (with Meara at the end)
What: Regina dreams of the latest Storybrooke mess, and needs to start drinking wine early
When: Crack of dawn
Where: Haus of Villainy
Rating/Warnings: Just them being pervy but nothing awful
Status: Complete

( The Roger was perfect for them, no hoity-toity venue necessary (though she was still debating on chair ribbons, hmm). )

Who: Isabela, Hawke, Killian, and Regina (plus Dog)
What: Bela takes them out for Lady Sunshine's maiden voyage, but of course they come across a kraken
When: This weekend
Where: Out in the wild blue sea!
Rating/Warnings: Pretty low, just violence against a giant squid (and references to tentacle porn)
Status: Complete

( Gods help the monster that tried pulling them down under. They’d simply fight it drunk. )

Who: Killian Jones & Rachel Morgan
What: Rachel tracks down an old associate to ask for a job - and gets some info about the OC that she doesn't quite believe
When: Recently~
Where: JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Nothing scandalous!
Status: Complete

( Oh, trust me, I'm aware how crazy it sounds. )

Who: Killian Jones & Aurora
What: Revealing what else he found out about Aurora's parents
When: Sometime this weekend
Where: One of the OC's botanical gardens
Rating/Warnings: Nada!
Status: Complete

( She was a little curious, but perhaps being a private investigator was like being a magician in that right. Neither revealed what made the things they did happen. )

Who: Killian & Kenzi, with Galina Malikov
What: Galina's bullshit is uncovered by Killian, and Kenzi throws her out
When: Today
Where: JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Language, references to past child abuse
Status: Complete!

( Killian didn’t stop her, not a bit, not throughout Kenzi’s tirade - which was well deserved, in his opinion. )

WHO: Birkhoff & Killian
WHEN: Recently
WHERE: Bar
WHAT: Drop off and then a bar fight
WARNINGS: super mild violence
STATUS: complete

( Let’s make a break for it while we can )

Who: Regina & Killian, with Henry, Kenzi and Baby Jones at the end
What: Evil Queen and Captain Hook wake up in a mirror realm - with a dragon
When: This morning
Where: Mirror Realm, then Casa of Villainy
Rating/Warnings: Innuendo, language
Status: Complete!

( In the meantime, he’d just let the dragon play with his food for a bit. Killian was nothing if not a tricky distraction. )

WHO: Emma Frost & Killian Jones
WHEN: Early this week
WHERE: Victrola (Emma's office there)
WHAT: The final details of Killian's job for Emma.
WARNINGS: Discussions of pre-planned murder
STATUS: Complete

( But business first, pleasure later. )

Who: Killian Jones & Emma Swan (with Niko + Meara)
What: Swan drops off some post-honeymoon gifts, they chat about the dreams and Killian gives her a certain pair of scissors
When: After Emma returns from Miami
Where: Haus of Disney Villainy
Rating/Warnings: Talk of Emma biting the dust, but nothing awful
Status: Complete

( Death visions and another alternate world? How many alternate worlds could they possibly create? )

Who: Aurora & Killian
What: Killian reveals what he found out after a little digging about Aurora's parents
When: Recently~
Where: A very posh place for afternoon tea
Rating/Warnings: Sadfaces, but low
Status: Complete

( She felt nervous about finding out things about her parents. Excited, but nervous. )

Who: Hawke & Killian
What: Killian helps Hawke shop for someone who likes Big Boats and Cannot Lie
When: Yesterday!
Where: A boatshow
Rating/Warning: Innuendos and spanking
Status: Complete!

( Honestly, he was salivating a little. )

Who: Emma Frost & Killian Jones
What: Discussing a very special job
When: Sunday afternoon
Where: The houseboat, aka, JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Mediumish for talk of murder and stuff
Status: Complete

( Emma, naturally, had no problem putting a price tag on this. Her brother’s safety surpassed the value of her father’s life. )

Who: Pete and Lina Wisdom, and Killian Jones
What: Lina hired Killian to track down the one who murdered Pete's mother - he did, and now they're settling the score
When: This weekend
Where: London, East District, near the Thames river
Rating/Warnings: High for NPC character death, some gore, language, etc
Status: Complete

( One step closer to getting the hell away from all this for good - the end of the chapter written, so it could all come to a close for that part of their family history. )

Who: Killian & Kenzi
What: Kenzi shows off her latest dream gift, which is cream that leads to the creation of sparkly dicks and boobs
When: Today, I think!
Where: JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Besides sparkly dicks and boobs, none
Status: Complete

( Perhaps one day we’ll run into your hunk of chocolate on the street and I’ll finally get to see him. )

Who: Killian & Lina (with Amelia)
What: Lina stops by to discuss Killian taking on a personal sort of investigatory case
When: Today, I think!
Where: JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Discussion of dark things, but nothing too awful
Status: Complete

( Let the rum rain. )

Who: Agent Washington and Killian Jones
What: Both are on a mission to acquire pancake mix
When: Sometime today
Where: Local grocery store
Rating/Warnings Low
Status: Complete!

( Carbless pancakes? What's the bloody point? )

Who: Killian Jones (with Meara) & Aurora
What: Advice about getting carrots to flourish, and tea
When: Idk yesterday maybe?
Where: Aurora's greenhouse
Rating/Warnings: Very low!
Status: Complete

( Liquid fertiliser. Shade. Foot deep rectangular flower boxes. Roger all that, lass. )

Who: Nikolai Luzhin vor & Killian Jones plunder
What: New Year, New Clients
When: Beginning of January
Where: The Need/Want
Rating: Audience Discretion is Advised
Warnings: People who are essentially professional criminals having conversations about illegal activities in a club which offers anything you can need or want: adult content is to be expected.
Status: Complete

( You are new to our establishment. Are you finding it to your liking? )

Who: Hooked Queen (plus Henry for a little bit)
What: Regina figures out what her super sense is, and then gets a ring
When: New Years Eve, a little before midnight
Where: Superhero Dance Party
Rating/Warnings: Just feels and innuendo, because it's THESE TWO
Status: Complete

( Death, resurrection, a child they chose to have and treat as their own. Regina wasn’t afraid of the next step, and neither was he. )

Who: Killian and Liam Jones, and William Laurence
What: Laurence drops by with wine and sees a certain dead Naval captain, cue shock and disbelief
When: Sometime after the wish plot starts
Where: House of Disney Villainy
Rating/Warnings: Just prim and proper shit here
Status: Complete

( He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the Jones’ until he was among them again. )

Who: Killian, Hawke, and Kenzi
What: Picking up some Rat Droppings ale turns into A MISTLETOE ATTACK
When: Today, probs
Where: The Hanged Man
Rating/Warnings: Crudeness, as usual
Status: Complete

( Oh my god, barf, you two. )

Who: Royal Pirate Family + Liam, who randomly appears!
What: Wish granted
When: Yesterday, the 15th
Where: Haus of Disney Villainy
Rating/Warnings: Loads of feels
Status: Complete

( For a moment, everything was downright perfect. Bling and all. )

Who: Killian Jones, Henry Townshend
What: A day out at sea and a pirate's life for them
When: Recently!
Where: The Jolly Roger
Rating/Warnings: Mostly safe
Status: Complete

( In the scheme of things, swabbing a pirate ship deck was...relatively normal. )

Who: Killian & Tas
What: Tas comes by to see the baby, and they decide a map leading to actual buried treasure would be good for the nursery
When: Today?
Where: Haus of Disney Villains
Rating/Warnings: Low!
Status: Complete

( The fellow spoke in exclamations a lot, didn’t he? )

Who: Killian & Megara
What: Underworld buddies meeting, and Killian gives Meg some information
When: Today!
Where: Haus of Disney Villains
Rating/Warnings: Mostly low
Status: Complete

( Very powerful, very simple. )

Who: Lowell and Killian
What: Killian gives Lowell the rundown on the OC
When: Sometime after this exchange.
Where: A hidden club
Rating/Warning: Pretty low/none. Some talk about dream amputations.
Status: Complete

( You best believe that Killian wore his leather trousers tonight. )

Who: Hawke & Killian, with the latest family addition
What: Hawke visits the Captain with gifts, and there's platonic butt groping
When: Today
Where: Casa de Mills-Jones
Rating/Warnings: Mostly low but there's penis art so idk
Status: Complete!

( Come on in and meet her, and sit on that delectable bum of yours. )

Who: Killian & Kitiara
What: Confronting her father, after Killian susses out a location
When: End of September
Where: Mexico! The retirement abode of Gregor, then to a bar
Rating/Warnings: Eh, pretty low
Status: Complete

( She was a little sullen, but so far she had managed to avoid punching anything which was generally a good sign. )

Who: Killian and Bo
What: Killian's giving Bo the final report about the search for her biological mother.
When: A week ago
Where: A gay bar because alcohol is definitely needed for this conversation
Warnings: Mentions of mental illness, implied rape, brief mention of abortion, and that Bo's biological father is not an upstanding citizen

( Clearly she was Irish without a doubt at the rate she turned to alcohol in these situations. )

Who: Hooked Queen (Regina & Killian), with a certain 'green bean'
What: Preparing to take some precious cargo back home
When: Today
Where: Kentucky, right outside of Oz
Rating/Warning: None, really, just cuteness
Status: Complete!

( Zelena choosing to give her up for adoption was what he and Regina hoped for, and Killian was just relieved it went that way. )

Who: Killian & Thalia
What: Checking in
When: Recently, after Thalia's 'I was a tree' debacle
Where: Thalia & Annabeth's place
Rating/Warnings: Safe for all ages
Status: Complete

( You bring any food? )

Who: Killian & Minato
What: Giving Minato the final investigative report, regarding his long-lost son
When: September sometime!
Where: A very delicious sushi bar
Rating/Warnings: Fairly low
Status: Complete

( Upon Killian contacting him, Minato had, admittedly, been a bundle of nerves. )

Who: Birkhoff & 'Kenzi,' whom get interrupted by Killian and the actual Kenzi
What: Inari gets hers, bye Felicia
When: Backdated to this log, before the sickness plot
Where: Birkhoff's abode
Rating/Warnings: High for violence, blood and a fae getting chainsawed
Status: Complete!

( He was trying to avoid the notion of the dead kitsune on his floor that looked like his girlfriend right then, or the semi-dead pirate too, because honestly everything was just a mess. )

Who: Regina & Killian, with the debut of a normal Kenzi
What: A pirate captain's bleeding from his face
When: Today
Where: Their home
Rating/Warnings: None, aside from gory sickness
Status: Complete!

( You shouldn’t touch me, and I’m not going to breathe on you. )

Who: Killian and Kenzi, except not
What: Killian figures out there's something a little weird about his sister - and comes to a conclusion
When: Tonight
Where: Casa de Disney Villains (Regina & Killian's)
Rating/Warnings: Lowish, mainly
Status: Complete!

( The board was set, pieces in place, and at one point she made a wrong move but it wasn’t over just yet. )

Who: Killian & Bo
What: Meeting to discuss finding Bo's birth mother
When: Last weekend, perhaps?
Where: Your standard watering hole
Rating/Warnings: Fairly low
Status: Complete

( You don’t look like a Beth, darling. )

WHO: Killian Jones and Thalia Grace
WHERE: Portola Coffee Lab
WHEN: Aug 10
WHAT: Dream discussion
RATING: PG
STATUS: log; completed

( ... )

Who: The Pirate Siblings (Killian & Kenzi)
What: Framing the PI license, and talking about important stuff - oh, and Kenzi has a weird rash
When: Yesterday, somewhere's around there
Where: The houseboat which has been turned into JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Fairly low
Status: Complete

( Welp, that was an outburst that oozed sibling love, didn’t it? )

WHO: Emma & Killian (with Niko and driveby Henry)
WHEN: early August
WHERE: Casa SwanFire
WHAT: Killian visits with food, some news and gets some practise with babies.
RATING/WARNINGS: None; all shmoopy shmoop
STATUS: Complete

( Your mum doesn’t like dirty words, does she? )

Who: Hooked Queen (Regina & Killian)
What: An important discussion that leads to an important decision
When: After these texts
Where: The House of Villainy
Rating/Warning: Nudity, some adultish things
Status: Complete!

( Could they not name the little girl something weird though? Seemed like everyone in Storybrooke had a penchant for picking names of the recently deceased, and getting it all wrong. )

Who: Minato and Killian
What: A Meeting
When: Late July
Where: JR Investigations
Rating/Warnings: Low/None
Status: Complete

( I hope you find the answers that I need. Regardless of what they might be. )

Who: Killian & Kitiara
What: Kit's favourite PI has info for her, Killian's favourite tattoo artist throws a mini-temper tantrum
When: UH RECENTLY
Where: Blue Dragon Tattoo Parlour
Rating/Warnings: Talk of the hard-knock life and criminal stuff, but low
Status: Complete

( After THAT, he really could use a drink. )

Who: Mary and Killian
When: July 20 / Mid-Morning
Where: Coffee Shop
What: Mary is stood up by a blind date.
Rating/Warnings: Low/None
Status: Incomplete

( This was why Mary didn't even bother. )

Who: Killian Jones & Heather Miller
What: Checking up on a lass he worked a case for, and also ordering some delicious steak
When: Recently, after the 4th of July
Where: Miller's Meats
Rating/Warnings: Pretty low!
Status: Complete

( Won't know 'til you try. )

Who: Hooked Queen (Regina & Killian)
What: Discussing Killian's business ventures and asking a question
When: This afternoon
Where: A brunch cafe, with cinnamon rolls
Rating/Warning: Innuendos, of course
Status: Complete!

( We managed in your carriage, we can manage with more people in the house - your walls are thicker than mine, anyway. )

Who: Killian, Regina, and Kenzi
What: There's a rift beneath the water, mermaids are swimming out, and that's not good
When: Tonight
Where: Jones Family Houseboat
Rating/Warnings: Homemade bombs and really unfriendly mermaids, like, you don't want these to be part of your world
Status: Complete

( What the heck are you two even WEARING? )