k͎e͎n͎z͎i͎ (monsterthong) wrote in valarcomm, @ 2016-09-08 16:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | bo dennis, kenzi malikov, killian jones (captain hook), lara croft, seymour birkhoff |
>> Holy balls, dudettes
>> Those
>> Uh, those texts?
>> Yeah, that wasn't me
>> I got abducted by a fae who decided it was a good idea to impersonate me and mess everything up with her piss-poor social skills
>> Just deleted a bunch of selfies bitchface took with my face
>> Cleansed my wardrobe
>> Read through all the damage she did via texts
>> Did you manage to get the blood out of the grout??
>> I'll go at it with bleach and a tooth brush if I have to
>> There's a walking stick in my room
>> Don't touch it unless you want to be the overlord of forest nymphs and wood sprites and battle for love and justice like a magical anime girl, or whatever
>> Do you need me to get your recovering hiney anything while I'm out?
>> I'm also never going to another Walgreens ever again, btw
>> CVS has my business 5eva