InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Nuh uh dunna think so"

Darius Alexander Summers (dasummers) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2009-05-02 20:25:00

Entry tags:

darius summers, remy lebeau

Who: Darius and Remy
What: realizing that Darius isn't good at avoiding trouble
Where: Italy, to start
When: tomorrow morning/afternoon
Warnings: cursing, references to mischief, college humor.

Darius groaned as he shifted, grabbing his head. Remy was another one of those people that drank almost out of desperation more than enjoyment. Darius had foolishly tried to keep up, and now he was regretting it a great deal.

He wobbled to the bathroom and contemplated curling up in the tub for the next week. Instead he relieved himself and ran the hot water over his head for a few minutes, until he felt like he could move. He removed his contacts and stuck them in the case, rubbing his eyes a lot.

As he made his way back to the living room where he'd passed out, he nearly ran into Remy. "Huh?" Articulation was rarely Darius's strong point, and even less so now.

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	knaveofhearts 2009-05-02 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	Remy grinned at the bleary eyed blonde and pressed a mug of strong coffee to his chest. "Mornin', how's your head?" He kept his voice, and the humor in it, low and began to pull back the curtains to let light in. "Do'ya still have dat girl's cel number on your hip?" He smirked and padded into the kitchen were bacon was frying and over easy eggs just hit the pan. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dasummers 2009-05-02 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	"Attached." He took a long drink of his coffee and looked down at his hip. "Yep. Still got the teethmarks on your shoulder? Do I smell bacon?" Questions were not necessarily in order of importance. Darius looked around. "Where did my pants go, anyway? Did we leave them behind?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	knaveofhearts 2009-05-02 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	Answers were in likewise order. "You auctioned them, so yes. Good 'n greasy, put the shine in your coat." Remy grinned even more and slide him the toast to adulterate accordingly. "They're lightenin' up, pity, but I'm keepin' the rather fun toy I woke wit'." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dasummers
2009-05-02 11:33 pm UTC (link)

"Great. I think my new cellphone was still in them." He shrugged, not particularly bothered about hanging out in his underwear, for the moment. "Which one? The rubbery flogger or the Jesus shaped dildo?"

It was hard to keep track of these things. "Did you get the name of any of those people? I didn't realize how much trouble a person could get into without actually cheating on anyone."

He hoped Ophelia would laugh at all this. He was going to be in trouble if she didn't.

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	knaveofhearts 2009-05-02 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	"I think that was the hope of the bidder. You'd come back for dem." He paused, sipping his coffee. "Dey weren't dat bad lookin' either. Bit octopus-hands..." "Neither, dat cock ring attached to de beads one." Remy chuckled. "Yes, but dey were so drunk, the handwritin's worse dan McCoy's." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dasummers
2009-05-02 11:48 pm UTC (link)

"Meh. They can keep it. It's not like I spent a lot of money on it."

He'd just carried enough money to buy some alcohol and get a cab home if they needed one.

"Oh, yeah. I remember that." He made a face and went to the fridge to see if they had some orange juice. "Man, I can't believe that happened. this place is crazy. But I guess it makes sense. . . everybody would be more squirrelly."

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knaveofhearts
2009-05-02 11:53 pm UTC (link)

Remy grinned and served up a properly greasy post-drinking breakfast as Darius hunted for his juice.

"You can say dat again. And that was merely a good start. Now everyone has taken off de edge, and can think beyond 'Insert hand into other's pants. Squeeze.'"

He smirked and had he had Kurt's tail, it'd be flicking back in forth in delight. "Now people will get creative. Unless-" innocent look, conspiring grin "-you've tapped dry."

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	dasummers 2009-05-02 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	Darius laughed and shook his head, plopping into a chair at the table. "I'm going back to Ophelia. No sense wasting my creativity on strangers and old guys." He gave Remy a smirk. "Though I'll be interested in hearing about your exploits." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

knaveofhearts
2009-05-03 12:08 am UTC (link)

"Sounds fair, hope de girl's got a cattle rod fer yourself."

Remy chuckled and scrunched up his face, scratching eternal stubble.

"Trade ya stories den. Ballsiest t'ing I did young n dumb was play chicken with dis amazin' blond girl. Y'know, adult tag throughout de household, where everyone disapproved de idea of us, baptizing couches and heirloom furniture, someone getting tied t' a couch or stairpost..."

He sipped his coffee.

"Was her idea to finish de game in her pere's large, luxurious, four post bed. And I couldn't back down, now could I?"

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	dasummers 2009-05-03 12:11 am UTC (link)
	Darius laughed. "Lemme guess. You got caught?" He took a bite of his eggs, wishing he hadn't drunk quite so much. His head was killing him without his glasses, but his contacts would make his eyes hurt, now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

knaveofhearts
2009-05-03 12:16 am UTC (link)

Remy made a so-so 'Eeeeehhh' noise.

"Almost, but de list of suspects were mighty slim. Was my first through-de-window exit, along with six daggers, two axes and I still swear de leg of an armchair. Oh and a pack of nasty-tempered hounds."

He cocked his head and eyed the young man. After 3am, he had started cheeking all the drinks bought for them, and assumed Darius had too. Maybe not..

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dasummers
2009-05-03 12:21 am UTC (link)

Darius had stopped drinking by two am, being very, very drunk by then. He just wasn't a big drinker yet.

Being small didn't help.

"Ouch. I thought Mom reminding me to use a condom every time was bad. Nothing's more of a buzz kill than having your Mom show you pictures of diseased gonads while you're trying to figure out how to get a pair of skintight jeans off."

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	knaveofhearts 2009-05-03 12:25 am UTC (link)
	Remy made a sour face and shuddered. "Dat, ugh, would make many swear off sex for another few years. Et yeah, dose pants ain't like diving suits, huh?" He hummed and snorted. "Alright den, with your parents, you had t'act out somehow. Any good ones?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dasummers
2009-05-03 12:37 am UTC (link)

"God. The only thing worse was the training armor. Even I'm not patient enough for that."

He took a drink of his coffee and thought for a bit. "Well, I did go to a dominatrix once, to see what the fuss was about. I got one of those credit gift card thingies from the you from that universe, ironically, for my eighteenth birthday, and thought I'd give it a try." It had been fun. Most of the time had been spent talking, and he'd gone there a couple more times to chat. He wished he'd gone to see her more, now. Nobody had ever been quite so heavy handed with him since then.

"But the most interesting thing I did sex wise was going down on someone while they were doing their training simulator for the Blackbird. Had a new student who was really nervous, and Dad was trying to get him to relax. Dad got a phone call, and stepped out, so I got in front of the kid (Dave, maybe? ), and started hitting on him. One thing led to another, and by the time Dad come back, Dave's all but finished, and I'm left with a month's garbage duty."

Darius grinned widely. "It was worth it, though. Especially when you consider Chris did the same thing, but with the helitank and got laundry duty instead. I think the fact that Dave passed the sim afterward might have been what got me a lighter sentence."

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knaveofhearts
2009-05-03 09:19 am UTC (link)

"Knew a few of dem, one made a killer chile relleno. Was glad for de full body armor, tho, less to explain afterward."

Remy started chuckling, loving the story. "Oh Darius, dat is priceless. Hmmm, wonder how much yer father et Chuck would have protested using dat as a teachin' aid back home... 'Ro had very little sense of humor wit' de Danger Room."

He sighed. "We got in trouble for merely spicin' up routines with messin' wit' de backgrounds. Got skinned fer Capt. Bluetail's and de Sea-Devil's battle."

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dasummers
2009-05-03 11:46 am UTC (link)

"This one could make a really awesome cranberry martini, and she collected CDs. She was pretty neat."

He thought for a bit. "Man, it's hard to think of her as a sexual entity. I mean, she's hot and all but she's a teacher. Sometimes."

Usually she was too busy raising her brood in Africa to bother with the X-men.

"Heh. We did all sorts of shit as kids. Especially Henry and I. Chris had to be the example, but we abused our knowledge of how the school worked to an ungodly degree."

Darius got up for more coffee, just as a loud Italian song started to play from the vicinity of the coat he'd worn the previous night. "Huh?"

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	knaveofhearts 2009-05-03 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	Remy frowned and wandered over to the annoying tune, scooping up a gaudy looking Blackberry with rhinestones and a flashing cell phone dinglie. "You don' belong here mon petit ami." It was a missed call, and he opened it. "Dis ain' mine, you?" He tossed the phone over, forgetting if Darius could catch stuff with a hangover. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dasummers 2009-05-04 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	Darius caught it with his free hand and looked at it. "Hn. Nope. Northstar wasn't this gay." He checked the last number and dialed it with a shrug. "Hi. Who owns this phone?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	knaveofhearts 2009-05-04 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	"My daughter," a thick Italian voice wheezed across the line. "You kept it so that I could tell this to your slimy ear: if you go outside, your grabby hands and attitude will get straightened out, pepito." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dasummers 2009-05-04 10:26 pm UTC (link)
	Darius blinked. "Uh, I think it's for you, Remy." WHAT HAD HE DONE? Now he couldn't remember. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	knaveofhearts 2009-05-04 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh no, I can hear dat loud and clear." He sighed and surrendered, taking the phone. Too bad his charm didn't work over phonelines. "Monsieur, there's been a terrible misunderstandin', we are ashamed that her phone was misplaced, but we'd love to make t'ings right." He winced. "Is she alright, we'd be struck down wit' shame if dere was any harm t'her." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dasummers 2009-05-04 10:45 pm UTC (link)
	"She's none of your business anymore. Don't you dare talk about her. If you're a smart man, you'll make out your will before the day is through." Darius winced. "Oh fuck. Goddammit." He ran his hands through his hair. "Did not need this." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	knaveofhearts 2009-05-04 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	"Nope, but dere's only one thing to do." He cleared his throat and spoke smoothly through the line. "I don't know how smart I am. What flavor of business have we going tangled in?" The voice sounded familiar. Keep him talking and it'd hit him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dasummers
2009-05-04 11:07 pm UTC (link)

"You've messed with the most powerful family in Venice. An insult against one of our own will not go unavenged."

Shit. That probably meant organized crime. "Should have put an RFID chip in her skin. Was she the leggy one or the one who kept reaching down your pants?"

He realized he shouldn't have said that after it had been said.

"Tell your friend that we're going to use his skin to bind a book about how much pain he was in before we killed him."

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