InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Always have. Always will."

the lady door (door) wrote in thedoorway,
@ 2013-08-14 18:31:00

Entry tags:

!network post, annabelle / anna (tvd), annie sawyer, chloe sullivan, di lestrade (bbc), dorian gray, enjolras, fox mulder, francine peters, lady door, marguerite blakeney, rory williams, septimus smith, sherlock holmes (elementary), stephen dedalus, steve rogers / captain america (616), walter blythe

Sometimes I forget my father's dead. It's easy to do here. Just visiting, home still a snapshot from the last time we were all there at once. His smile and my mother's laugh, wet with wine and glowing in warm orange candlelight. And a wicked glint in my brother's eye and my sister's baby blonde curls just peeking over the table as he chased her.

And then I remember that no matter how much I practise, I will never open a door to them.

But I have learned to open doors to friends, so that's a small victory to be proud of. And it's all right to grieve and be happy at the same time.

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	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-17 12:28 pm UTC (link)
	He just... no matter what I do or who I am he still clings to me so desperately, and it's... it's pathetic, is what it is. I wish he would hate me, I wish he would show something more than his... devotion and his need. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	I think I understand. I had to think about it for a few days but I think I do. You want him to be emotionally independent. Do you feel responsible for him? Like he is a child? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	I feel... responsible for what he feels so badly about. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	He feels badly that you killed him? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 09:43 pm UTC (link)
	He does, actually. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Maybe he should try taking a swing at you, that always seems to help for some reason. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	He thinks that... his love for me which he painted into the portrait -- that it was what corrupted everything, what corrupted me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 09:47 pm UTC (link)
	Perhaps it was. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 09:48 pm UTC (link)
	...No. It wasn't, it couldn't have been. There's... there isn't anything wrong with loving someone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	But you want him to hate you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	Because he shouldn't love something like me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	I love you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 10:09 pm UTC (link)
	...You what? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	It's very silly to ask one to repeat herself on the Internet. You're very dear to me and you I care about you very much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 10:16 pm UTC (link)
	Then I love you too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 10:19 pm UTC (link)
	You don't have to, you know, I'm quite content in loving unrequitedly. Which makes me sound very romantic, doesn't it? But familial love can be unrequited too! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	No, I do. At times.... I sometimes think of love as something else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	What sort of something? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	... I feel like love can be responsible for making a person very vulnerable and to say, to admit it, to someone else is much like saying... that you're made vulnerable by the person you're saying it to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, that is what it is. But if you love somebody usually you trust them with your softest spots and ugliest raw places. And I do, you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think anyone has ever trusted me quite that much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 10:44 pm UTC (link)
	Basil? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 11:07 pm UTC (link)
	...He trusted the me that he thought he knew. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian door 2013-08-20 11:08 pm UTC (link)
	That doesn't make it less real. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Doorian doriangray 2013-08-20 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose that much is true enough. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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