InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Mr. T only needs one letter!!"

the lady door (door) wrote in thedoorway,
@ 2013-08-14 18:31:00

Entry tags:

!network post, annabelle / anna (tvd), annie sawyer, chloe sullivan, di lestrade (bbc), dorian gray, enjolras, fox mulder, francine peters, lady door, marguerite blakeney, rory williams, septimus smith, sherlock holmes (elementary), stephen dedalus, steve rogers / captain america (616), walter blythe

Sometimes I forget my father's dead. It's easy to do here. Just visiting, home still a snapshot from the last time we were all there at once. His smile and my mother's laugh, wet with wine and glowing in warm orange candlelight. And a wicked glint in my brother's eye and my sister's baby blonde curls just peeking over the table as he chased her.

And then I remember that no matter how much I practise, I will never open a door to them.

But I have learned to open doors to friends, so that's a small victory to be proud of. And it's all right to grieve and be happy at the same time.

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	stephendedalus 2013-08-15 01:01 am UTC (link)
	Well, I think I'm a better conduit. I think that's always been my problem. Why I tend to let myself stand still when I ought to be...moving forward. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-15 01:03 am UTC (link)
	I think moving forward is one of those things that can't be oughted, it happens when it happens, slow or quick as it needs to. But conducting isn't enough, I don't think, you are more than a sum of your poetic observances. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stephendedalus 2013-08-15 01:05 am UTC (link)
	You think so, do you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-15 01:11 am UTC (link)
	I do. Thinking is mostly what I spend my time doing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stephendedalus 2013-08-15 01:15 am UTC (link)
	I'm the very same. ...I think sometimes, I worry about looking too closely at myself because I've come to think of so much about myself that is... wrong. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-15 01:17 am UTC (link)
	It has been my experience, though limited, that most men who are wrong do not worry about whether or not they are. But good men do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stephendedalus 2013-08-15 01:35 am UTC (link)
	It's not even that I think I'm wrong, so much as other people do and I know it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-16 01:43 am UTC (link)
	What sort of wrong do you know you are? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stephendedalus 2013-08-16 08:53 am UTC (link)
	I'm selfish, unwilling to compromise for others. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-16 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	That doesn't even seem unusual. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stephendedalus 2013-08-17 12:43 am UTC (link)
	...Because of it, people've blamed me for -- well, well, for one my mother's death. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-17 12:45 am UTC (link)
	And you think you caused her death? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stephendedalus 2013-08-17 12:53 am UTC (link)
	Sometimes I do, even if it's about as logical as pissin' into the wind. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	door 2013-08-17 01:22 am UTC (link)
	Depending which way the wind goes it's not always illogical. But wee aside, if you were truly selfish you wouldn't care if you had. And you do, don't you? (Reply to this) (Parent)

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