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Messr Moony is passionately curious ([info]thewolfen) wrote in [info]the_recruitment,
@ 2012-02-10 21:59:00

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Entry tags:! 02/1977, ! complete, ! thread, char: remus lupin, char: sirius black

Who: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin
What: Sirius crawls into Remus' bed to take care of him after the full moon. And they have an almost ~moment.
Where: Gryffindor dorm
When: The night after the full moon, after Remus returns
Status: Incomplete
Rating: PG




Once again, he'd survived. There had been moments in the past when Remus sometimes prayed for death during his transformations because he was so ashamed and disgusted with the creature he became. However, he did not hate the wolf inside of him as much as he used to, because in truth he had to be grateful to it. If not for his furry little problem, he and the other Marauders might not have been so close. His problem had brought them together in a way that only they themselves could understand. They'd bonded in a way that not many others could really even understand. For that, he had to be thankful for his condition. Nevertheless, he still worried about his friends getting involved. They could be seriously injured, or worse. It would've been better for all of them if Remus just dealt with his issue himself, but the others didn't seem to think that way.

After spending the full day in the infirmary, Remus snuck back through the castle, to the Common room, and up into their dorm. He'd left during dinner, when he knew almost everyone would be gathered in the Great Hall. It left him free to make it back unnoticed, which was how he preferred it. Once inside, he took his shoes off and switched into his pajama bottoms. He left his t-shirt and the cardigan Sirius had lent him on and curled up under the covers. For an hour, maybe two, he laid alone in silence, just trying to relax. He was still sore and terribly exhausted, though Madam Pomfrey did amazing work in healing his injuries.


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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-11 05:14 am UTC (link)
Most of his muscles felt as though they were in knots. Remus ought to have stayed in the infirmary another night, really, but he just wanted to go back to his own bed. It was damn near impossible to sleep in the infirmary beds anyway, and he never could get comfortable. Being back in his room, surrounded by familiar sounds, scents, and sights made it easier for him to relax despite all the pain he was in.

He heard the sound of someone entering the room, and somehow he knew without having to move that it was Sirius. Whether his senses were still heightened, or it was just keen intuition, he'd been right. He felt the other boy's weight on the other side of his bed, followed by the warmth of his body nearby. Anyone else's touch would've caused him to tense up and recoil. Sirius' touch was soothing, though, and his tension subsided somewhat beneath it.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked softly, his voice still a bit hoarse. It was always a concern for him after each full moon. It wasn't really him that caused any damage, but he still felt responsible. And the worst part was, they couldn't exactly get their injuries checked out by Poppy. They had to heal themselves, and none of them were exactly trained.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-11 06:17 pm UTC (link)
Sirius shook his head, wincing at how tight Remus' back felt beneath his hand, before remembering that the werewolf couldn't see it.

"No. Just a few scrapes, we get worse playing Quidditch."

Remus was so tense, it had to be painful. Sirius muttered a wandless warming charm, then began smoothing his hands across the other boys back, digging his fingers into the tightest places in an attempt to ease some of the muscles. With anyone else this would feel strange, odd, but with Remus it felt as natural as breathing. He just wanted to help.

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-11 10:51 pm UTC (link)
Remus was fairly certain that even if he had done some significant damage to Sirius, the other boy wouldn't have told him. He just had to hope that he was telling the truth and believe that.

His muscles were tense; sore and over exerted from Moony's romps and rages. The more Sirius began to rub and work through the knots, however, the more he began to relax. Remus didn't let anyone else quite so near, not even James or Peter. It was just different with Sirius, and he was pretty sure he knew why. But that wasn't a place he let his mind drift to. Ever.

"I'm glad it wasn't too bad for you," he said, and uncurled his body a little to loosen up. "I always worry I'll go too far." He said 'I,' though it wasn't really him, but still, he would always take responsibility for the wolf's actions. "That feels nice," he added, in a tinier voice.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 02:52 am UTC (link)
Sirius dug his fingers in a little deeper, trying to get at the worst of the strain. He was sure Remus never told them how bad it really was, and he hated the thought of his gentle friend hurting.

"We'd never let that happen." he found a particularly tense spot and focused on it. "We did find a neat little clearing, totally surrounded by poplar trees. There was a ring of stone in the center too. We kept you out of it though, the last thing we need is for the wee folk to snatch you up." He kept his voice soft and soothing,
hoping to relax Remus even further. He had the oddest desire to kiss the soft, delicate skin at the base of his neck, and quickly began to talk again to make it go away.

"Would be pretty funny though, a bunch of fairies trying to abduct a werewolf..."

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 05:50 am UTC (link)
Remus couldn't help but make a soft sighing sound as Sirius worked out some of the tougher kinks in his back. He was really appreciative, as he'd been in a great deal of pain and Sirius was the only one who could bring him such comfort. It was Sirius who Remus always reached for in those moments after he changed back at dawn. It was always Sirius.

"Reckon I'd just try to eat them," he said, and smirked a little. Occasionally he could talk about his condition in a joking manner. The idea of a large wolf trying to catch fairies in his teeth was actually a bit amusing to him. Sometimes he wondered just how Peter managed to survive running around as a rat in his presence.

"Or maybe they'd make me their fairy king," he mused aloud, and laughed as soon as he said it.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 06:00 am UTC (link)
Sirius couldn't help laughing as well, the mental image was priceless!

"Imagine, a Werewolf in a pink tutu with frilly wings and a septre with a star..." He chuckled, glad Remus was finally starting to relax. "Or you could be a butch fairy, like David Bowie..." he hummed appreciativly. David Bowie... "You'd look dead sexy in makeup," he mused, brain only half aware of what he was saying as he slid one of his hands under the fabric of Remus' shirt to get at a stubborn knot.

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 06:20 am UTC (link)
Remus laughed again, a bit harder this time. No matter the situation, Sirius could always bring a smile to his face. Hearing the other boy laugh too made it even better. He could see the smile on Sirius' face in his mind, and it filled him with warmth. Of course, that warmth spread right to his cheeks and flared up in the form of a bright pink tint to his cheeks when it was declared that he'd be 'sexy' with make up on. Remus would've never paired himself with the word 'sexy' in any circumstance. To hear Sirius say it made him feel funny inside, like there were a dozen hummingbirds beating their wings in his stomach.

"Make up..? Me?" He repeated, and shook his head. "I don't think so. Besides, I wouldn't even know which colour palette would suit my features." His cheeks were still burning, and he was so glad his back was to Sirius so the other boy could not see.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 06:37 am UTC (link)
Sirius could tell by the faint pink tinge to Remus' ears that the other boy was blushing, and he couldn't help laughing again. It was nice, making Remus blush. Felt... He couldn't even explain it in the safety of his own mind.

"Dark eyes," he said, pushing Remus' shirt up higher to get to his shoulders. "A nice navy liner maybe, or even black. You wouldn't need your lashes done, they're already ace, long and dark. Something dusky on the lids, I'd say, to bring out the green in your eyes. Your lips wouldn't need much, hint of gloss maybe..." He could already picture it, dressing Remus in some sinfully tight trousers, taking him to that muggle club he loved in London, dragging him onto the dancefloor... "He was suddenly very aware of the smooth expanse on Remus' back under his hands..."

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 06:44 am UTC (link)
As Sirius described the look to him, Remus could kind of.. almost.. picture it. He never would do something like that to himself because it just wasn't even in the realm of possibility. But hearing Sirius say it... was it something Sirius would like? Ever the people pleaser, he couldn't help but wonder. The way he was describing it, and the fact that he'd already said it'd make him look sexy... No, no. This was the precise territory that Remus never ever allowed his mind to drift to.

But it was hard not to. Especially when the other boy was lifting his shirt and touching him in such a way. It felt amazing, but at the same time it was a bit torturous because of all the feelings it was beginning to dredge up. "Not sure there's enough fire whiskey in the world that could make that happen," he teased. He closed his eyes a moment and sucked in a sharp breath as Sirius' hands hit a particularly tense area. He arched his back a little and groaned softly.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 06:58 am UTC (link)
Sirius was in trouble. Very, very bad trouble. Because Remus was right beneath him, arching and groaning, with his skin and his hair and his voice and Sirius was so close, so fucking close, and any moment now Remus was going to wonder what that odd bulge was and Sirius wasn't going to know what to say and it would be awkward and terrible and Moony would never want to talk to him again and that would be the worst thing that could ever happen and oh sweet Merlin he wanted to kiss him so badly and...

Sirius slid off of Remus quickly, hoping his "not so little problem" hadn't been too obvious.

"Better?" he asked in a slightly strangled voice.

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 07:29 am UTC (link)
Remus had been too self aware of his own shyness and the reactions of his body to notice Sirius' 'problems.' He wouldn't have believed it if he had. Somehow, he would have rationalized that it was something else, that it couldn't possibly have anything to do with him. Why would Sirius harbor any of the same feelings he held for him? It wouldn't make a lick of sense, so there was no point in even wondering about it.

Really, he just wanted to stay close to him. His presence was the most soothing gift anyone could offer. "Much," he replied quietly. And he did feel better, despite the inner workings of his mind when it came to his feelings for Sirius. Slowly, he turned over onto his back and looked up at Sirius. He was so beautiful. "Thank you," he added, and smiled a bit.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 07:39 am UTC (link)
"Yeah. Anytime."

Remus was looking at him now, those eyes, slightly lidded and a little heavy, and that sweet little smile curving up the corner of his lips... Sirius couldn't help himself, he reached out and traced the dip where cheek met mouth and followed the curve down to the slightly jaw.

"I just want you to be happy," he whispered.

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 04:40 pm UTC (link)
That gesture of affection might have seemed small and inconsequential to some, but for Remus it meant all the world. He didn't let people in like this. He couldn't. But that didn't mean he wasn't longing for closeness. Depriving himself of it was because of his condition, not because of an empty heart. He cared deeply for his friends, and that feeling ran even deeper for Sirius.

He'd never really heard him say anything like that before. He knew Sirius had a heart of gold, and was the most loyal friend anyone could ask for (which was exactly why his betrayal concerning The Incident had hurt so much), but it was mostly due to his actions, not necessarily his words.

Slowly, he tilted his head toward the hand caressing his face and nudged the other boy's palm with his nose. Maybe it was the wolf in him, or maybe it was just Remus being affectionate. "That's what I want most for you," he murmured, and placed a hand on his friend's knee.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 05:20 pm UTC (link)
This was it. Sirius' heart was racing, his mind was going black, and the world was narrowing to include only the boy on the bed who was touching him gently and who was just so beautiful it made his heart ache. The hand cupping Remus' face slowly lifted, even as he bent down, bringing them closer. He could see the faint scars on Remus' face and he wanted so badly to taste them...

"Remus, I..." They were mere inches from one another now, Sirius could feel Remus' breath soft against his cheek. "Remus..."

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 06:08 pm UTC (link)
Moments like this, they just didn't happen for people like him. It reminded him of scenes he'd seen in Muggle films, where the two stars locked eyes and slowly drew nearer until they were wrapped up in what would become a passionate kiss that surely only existed in the cinema, not real life. Remus hadn't believed in such things because he'd never experienced a moment like that. He'd never been in such a position before because the only person he'd ever wanted to be face to face with like that was Sirius.

This wasn't happening. Sirius wasn't really touching him and looking at him like he was the only other person in the world that mattered. He had to be dreaming. How often had he closed his eyes at night and prayed for dreams that would bring him such beautiful imagery?

"Sirius.." He whispered, the name falling off his lips as naturally as an intake of air. But as beautiful as it was, as perfect as it was, it scared him. His whole heart belonged to Sirius and had for years, no matter how much he tried to hide that fact from himself. But there were countless reasons as to why he could never reveal such a thing. Sirius deserved so much better than anything Remus could give him, and not only that... He had to protect his heart. If this was just one of Sirius' whims, he wasn't sure he'd be able to recover from that.

Cuddling was safer. Cuddling they'd done before. Wandlessly, he magically shut the curtains around them, then shifted closer and slipped his arm around the other boy's waist. He nestled into him and brought their foreheads together.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 06:18 pm UTC (link)
Sirius felt a sharp jab of dissapointment when Remus pulled away, but then he was closing the curtains and cuddling up right next to him and the only qualifier he could use for this situation was confused, because it had seemed for a moment like Remus might have kissed back...

And suddenly Sirius realized what he had almost done. He had almost kissed his best mate. His best, straight, mate, while he was injured and vulnerable and more than half asleep. He'd practically forced himself on the other boy, done what he'd sworn never to do to anyone, least of all Remus. The room began to swim out of focus and Sirius couldn't tell if he was about to cry or about to be sick. He was just as bad as the rest of his family after all, and the fact that Remus was still here, still this close to him, was testament to just how out of it the other boy really must be.

"I should go," he mumbled, trying to extract himself without casuing anymore pain. That was the last thing Remus needed from him right now.

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[info]thewolfen
2012-02-12 07:13 pm UTC (link)
Remus had hoped that they could just transition into curling up together like they sometimes did and that it wouldn't abruptly change anything. But he'd been wrong. He could feel Sirius shifting and could almost sense the disappointment and fear lingering within him. It made Remus afraid too; what had he done by derailing that moment? It seemed to have a tremendously negative effect on Sirius. So much so, that he was saying he ought to leave? Sirius never left him when he was recovering like this.

He wanted to tell him no, to tell him he didn't want him to leave, to plead with him to stay. But that wasn't Remus; he couldn't ask Sirius to stay in a situation where he felt uncomfortable. The more he thought about it, the more he thought he understood. Why would Sirius want to stay with someone who couldn't give him what he wanted? Why would he want to stay with someone like him when he could be out having a laugh with someone else?

All he could do was give a short nod. Slowly, he drew back from him. "I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, trying to hide the disappointment he felt inside. He didn't plan on getting out of bed until morning.

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[info]_withoutacause
2012-02-12 07:37 pm UTC (link)
"Remus..." Sirius wanted to appologise, the plead with the werewolf that he hadn't meant it, that he would never... But he couldn't articulate the words, and there was something hot burning it's way through his chest and if he didn't get away then he was going to cry and how the Hell would he explain that?

Sorry I'm snivelling on you, oh yeah, and sorry for the molestation as well. Ta.

He fumbled with the curtains, finally managing to open them, then swung himself off the bed. He stayed for a moment, trying to get his bearings, before pushing himself off the bed.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, before all but fleeing the room.

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