Supernatural Fiction & Art

PART 56

The rest of the summer raced by and Sam had to go back to class. It was his final semester and he couldn't help but be excited about that. What he was really excited about, and couldn't keep his mind off, was the fact that he was going to be a daddy.

Emma, for the most part, had done better since their trip to Bobby's. Sam and Dean knew that she'd called their dad a couple times, and it seemed to help. Sam had offered to leave at her last doctor appointment because she wanted to ask questions about childbirth. Emma said she'd rather have him stay for the general information because he'd have to know it, too, since he and Dean were going to be there. Then, Sam left and she asked the questions that pertained to just her.

Dean came home from work and saw Drew's car in the driveway. That meant he and Sam were busy studying. Dean stepped inside the house and was putting his keys in his pocket when he heard Emma in the living room. She was quietly crying, sitting on the couch.

Dean took a deep breath as he remembered his dad telling them that they needed to comfort Emma. The fact was, Dean had left all the touchy-feely stuff for Sam to handle. With Sam studying, it was going to have to be Dean. He tried to recall all that Sam had done to make her feel better in the past as he walked over to the couch.

"Emma," he said softly as he sat down beside her. "What's wrong?"

"Just a headache," Emma replied as she wiped at her tears.

"Did you take anything for it?"

She nodded her head.

Dean thought about telling her that crying could give her a headache and then thought better of it. "Think you can put one knee up on the couch so that I can rub your neck and back for you? See if that helps?"

"Okay," Emma sniffled as she shifted her position.

Dean moved her long hair to one side and started to rub her neck. "It's going to be fine, Emma. We'll get the kinks worked out and you'll feel better. Want to tell me what you did today?"

"I couldn't even go outside," Emma started to cry harder. "I look huge and I just didn't have the energy to get out of my pajamas."

So, asking her about her day hadn't been a good idea. "When your headache goes away, I could take you for a ride in the car. Would that make you feel better? If you're not up to getting dressed, we could just put a blanket around you. I think your pajamas are fine and no one would see them, but we could bring a blanket if you'd like."

"You'd do that for me?" she sounded almost hopeful.

"Sure I would. Sometimes just taking a drive can make a person feel worlds better."

Dean continued to rub and Emma moved her shoulders and neck, trying out the muscles.

When Emma yawned, Dean helped her up from the couch and led her down the hall to his and Sam's bedroom.

"Here you go, Emma. I'll just tuck you in here and you can get me when you wake up for that ride."

Emma gave him a small smile and thanked him.

"No problem," Dean kissed her forehead as he pulled the blankets around her. "Goodnight."

Dean closed the door as quietly as possible and went into the kitchen. With Sam busy, it was his turn to cook supper. He scanned the cupboards and fridge. Nothing really caught his attention, but he decided on Hamburger Helper and baby peas. His mind wandered while he was cooking and watching the timer. He jumped a little when he felt two arms wrap around him.

"We smelled supper," Sam's lips were right next to his ear. "Will it be done soon?"

"Five minutes, Sammy," Dean said when he looked at the clock. "That gives you plenty of time to wash up. Use

the downstairs bathroom, though. Emma's asleep in our room."

"She could have kicked us out to the living room." Sam told him, "She said she was just going to watch some television."

"Well, I doubt the television ever even made it on. She was crying on the couch when I walked in."

"Is she okay? Should I go check on her?"

"She's fine, Sam. She had a headache. She took Tylenol, I rubbed her neck for her, and when she started yawning, I tucked her in. Oh, I also promised to take her for a drive when she feels better."

"You mean when her headache is gone?"

"No, Sam. Something else is going on. She didn't have the energy to get dressed today so she couldn't go outside, even though she wanted to. I don't know if that is typical pregnant behavior. Has the doctor mentioned it?"

"Not while I've been in there," Sam thought back. "She did talk to the doctor in private though. That's the day I learned all about childbirth."

"A big thank you on that, Sammy. You came home and grossed me out."

"You need to get over that, Dean. Emma expects you to be in the room when she delivers."

"Why? I'm okay with not being there. Just hand me the baby when they are all cleaned up."

"She wants us to take the baby from the start," Sam explained. "She doesn't want to see the baby or have to deal with any of that after she gives birth. She wants to concentrate on her own healing and getting back on her feet."

"But, she still wants to keep in contact with us?"

"Yes. Hearing how the baby is doing is different than having to look at a baby that might look like the guy that hurt her."

"I guess I understand that," Dean replied. "Looks like your five minutes are up. Supper is done."

"I'll go get Drew. We can eat quick and then get back to the books."

Dean just nodded as he dished the plates and set the table.

***

Sam and Drew were in and out of the kitchen like a flash. Dean had never seen Drew inhale food like that before. Usually Drew liked to talk a little over supper, but it was clear that they were too busy. Dean got thanked for supper and left with the dishes.

Dean kept the television and radio off. He wanted to hear Emma when she got up. He'd dished her a plate and put it in the fridge. His hands were all wet loading the dishwasher when Emma surprised him by showing up in the doorway. His hunting instincts were really getting dull. He should have heard the bedroom door open.

"Feeling better?" Dean thought that she looked better, he just wanted confirmation.

"Yes. Thanks for before."

"That's fine. Sit down and I'll heat up your supper."

"I'm not really hungry," Emma looked like she was going to start crying again.

"I'll heat it up and you just eat what you can," Dean slipped the plate into the microwave.

Emma looked like she could use a hug. Dean just held his arms out and she walked into them. Dean rubbed her back and told her all the things he'd told Sammy when he was scared or sad. It felt awkward to hold Emma in his arms because he was so used to Sam's body instead. Emma felt so small, except for her belly.

"How about a few bites and then we'll go for that ride," Dean whispered. Emma nodded as she pulled away, wiped her eyes and sat down at the table.

***

Dean felt more at ease around Emma when they were in the Impala. The impala was his world, the only place that he felt he really belonged outside of his bedroom.

Emma had her window down a little, letting the breeze move her hair. She even had a little bit of a smile on her face.

"How does it feel?" Dean asked as he glanced at her.

"Wonderful," she replied as she faced the breeze.

Dean was content to drive until Emma started to look tired. It was getting to be ten o'clock, and Emma was usually asleep by then. He and Sam were in bed at eleven o'clock most nights. Dean turned his baby around and headed home.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Emma?" Dean asked as he helped her out of the car and into the house.

"Um-hum," she was so tired.

Dean held her arm until she was sitting on her bed. "Do you need anything?"

Emma shook her head.

Dean lifted her legs onto the bed and covered her up. He told her goodnight, to get them if she needed anything, and kissed her forehead. When he looked over his shoulder as he turned out the light, she was already asleep.

Dean stepped into his bedroom and saw Sam sleeping. He hadn't even waited up for them. Although that thought didn't please Dean, he tried not to dwell on it as he got ready for bed and set the alarm clock.

PART 57

Sam woke up during the night to find Dean in bed beside him but not asleep. "Dean, is something wrong?"

Dean sat there silent before he answered. "I've made changes to my life, Sammy. Two years ago I was hunting and I was happy with that. Then, I came when you needed me and when I fell in love, I decided to stay. I got the job at the garage because I just wanted to be close to you and love you.

I want a baby, too, Sam. I really do. But I never thought you would cut me out of your life."

"Dean, I haven't been cutting you out, I promise. I laid down tonight because I was so tired after being up with Emma last night, class and studying. I didn't think it would be a big deal."

"Well, it was, Sammy. At least to me it was. I kept thinking that once I came back from the drive I would be able to spend time with you, hell, just to see you."

 

Sam didn't know what to say.

"I agreed to adopting and I'm still thrilled that Emma is having our baby. This isn't about her.

I never intended on becoming invisible in your life. When I can't hold you before falling asleep or have a conversation with you, I start to feel used, Sammy, and I won't have that.

After the baby is born, we'll have even less time together. Either we make it a priority starting now or it won't ever be a priority.

I quit hunting and stay here because of you. Because I love you and you loved me back. If I get too low on the totem pole for who gets your attention and become ignored, I'll leave."

"What? Dean--"

"If you love me, I'll be important enough to make time for. If not, I can return to hunting."

"No, Dean! Don't go," Sam cried.

"I'm just warning you, Sammy. Tonight made me feel really rotten."

"I didn't mean it," Sam started to explain quickly. "I was up with Emma--"

"I heard you before, Sammy. I know all that you had to do. You also have to remember to love me each day. A few minutes to be intimate before we go to sleep, some moments of time with the Sammy I fell in love with."

"I will, Dean. I promise I will."

"Now I've made you all sad and that wasn't my intention. I still love you, Sammy."

"I love you, too, Dean."

"Come here," Dean rolled so Sam could curl up by his side. "I want us to stay strong as a couple. We're in it for the long haul, right?"

"Sure are," Sam softly replied.

"Sammy, " Dean touched Sam's cheek so he was looking into his eyes. "'I'm sorry it all came out like that. You know I'd never hurt you. I've just had this gnawing feeling in my gut and when I came in here to see you already asleep, it was just too much. I had to let you know."

Sam just let Dean cradle his cheek. "Sometimes I just need to be reminded that you need some quality time. I'm okay as long as I hear 'I love you', but since Emma's moved in, we haven't spent very much time alone."

"We can make it work," Dean kissed Sam softly. "Just a few minutes like these where our world can exist of just us."

"This is nice," Sam whispered as he kissed Dean back.

"Nice?" Dean sounded offended.

"Lovely," Sam corrected himself.

Dean's eyes showed how deep his love was for Sam, even though he wore a smirk at the word 'lovely'.

Sam put a hand behind Dean's head and pulled him closer for a deeper kiss. Kisses and touches said what words couldn't. The need to feel overrode the need for words.

***

"Do your folks ever ask about Emma?" Sam asked Drew one day at school.

"Not really," Drew said. "They are disappointing me because they couldn't care less about their daughter."

"Emma never brings them up. That's why I asked. I know she has you, me and Dean. She calls my dad sometimes and it makes her feel better. Bobby most likely talks to her, too."

"Your dad and Bobby are good guys."

"Yeah. I'm lucky that way," Sam smiled. "If Dad didn't understand, Bobby usually did."

They walked a little ways in silence.

"Dean and I were thinking of taking a weekend away before the baby comes. Would you be able to keep Emma company?"

"Sure. Just tell me when," Drew agreed. "I could use some quality sister time. Anything special I need to know?"

"She's just stressed out and sad. She can take Tylenol but that's about it. If she gets a headache, you need to massage her neck and shoulders. Otherwise, she's been getting backaches. It's hard to get her to eat and she requires many hugs. You know how the waterworks start for no reason."

"I can't say I feel lucky to have witnessed that," Drew said. "That awful helpless feeling when she just has to cry it out."

"If you need us, we'll still be in town. We can come home anytime if you need us."

"I know," Drew dismissed the idea of calling them right there. "When do you need me?"

"Is this weekend too soon?"

"Nope. I'll pack a bag and be over after class."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Did you think I'd say no?"

"I just didn't know your work schedule," Sam said. "I used to always know those things."

"Life has changed, Sam. It's going to change quite a bit more before it's through."

"I'm excited, though."

Drew smiled. "So where are you taking Dean?"

"Don't know yet. Had to talk to you first."

***

On his break at work, Dean called his dad.

"Dean? Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure. Emma seems real depressed to me. Is that normal or should I be worried?"

"How do you mean?"

"We can't get her to eat. She wants to go out but doesn't have the energy to get dressed. That kind of thing."

"And you guys have been doing like I told you?" John asked gruffly.

"Yes, Dad. Since Sam has been at school and busy with homework, I've been the one tending to her when I'm home. How does she sound when she talks to you?"

"Upset when she calls, but she sounds fine by the time we hang up. Maybe I'll call her while you're at work today."

"That sounds good. I just want to make sure she's getting all the support she needs."

"Don't worry about it, Dean. I'll call her and then call you back."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Bye, Dean."

"What's up?" Bobby asked when John hung up.

"Emma seems depressed to Dean and I need to call her now."

Bobby just nodded and sat down at the table. He listened to John's end of the conversation.

"Hi, honey. It's John. Just checking in to see how you're doing today . . . Have you been eating and sleeping okay? . . . What's wrong? . . . You know you can always call me. I'll let you get back to sleep. . . Bye."

John ended the call and then called Dean.

"Do I need to bring her in?"

"No," John answered. "I think she's doing okay for now. I woke her up. Keep a close eye on her, though."

"I will."

"Okay, Dean. Call me if you need to."

"Of course," Dean replied as he hung up, his uneasiness no more settled than he had been earlier. He just sighed and went back to working on a car.

PART 58

Sam told Dean he’d made a two-night reservation for them at a hotel. He gave him the address and told him to meet him there after work. Dean wouldn’t even need to stop by the house. Sam was bringing a bag for him.

Drew came over after class and Emma was happy to see him. Sam gave them the number to the hotel and Emma said she would be fine. She gave Sam a hug and told him to have a good time.

Sam went to the dollar store and brought many little tea-light candles. He checked into the hotel before Dean got off work so he could get them settled in and get all the candles lit.

Dean, tired and grimy from work, called Sam from the front desk for the room number. Sam answered his knock in his silk boxers. Dean was taken in by the sight of Sam in the candlelight.

“You are overdressed,” Sam pulled Dean into the room and locked the door. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Dean let Sam fuss over him. He washed Dean’s hair and got him free from dirt.

Once Sam declared him clean, Dean embraced Sam in the shower, “You are so good to me.”

“We’re good to each other,” Sam corrected as he kissed Dean under the warm spray.

When they got out of the shower, Sam had one more surprise for Dean. "Whirlpool," he said as he showed him.

They were toweled off from the shower and Sam gave Dean the choice of whirlpool or the bed.

"Bed," Dean replied as he walked Sam backwards to the king-sized bed. Sam smiled against Dean’s lips as his legs hit the bed. He toppled over and Dean slowly lowered himself onto the bed.

Dean looked at Sam’s face in the candlelight. The flickering light was reflected in his eyes. His long brown hair fell back and he looked totally at ease and in love.

“I love you,” Dean whispered to Sam.

“I know. I love you, too,” Sam replied as he placed a hand against Dean’s cheek.

Dean smiled that smile that was reserved for only Sam. It was revealed who Dean was at his core. It showed Dean’s deepest feelings that he kept hidden from everyone else.

Sam licked at Dean’s lower lip, gaining access to Dean’s mouth. They loved each other with renewed passion, realizing that they had misplaced it somewhere along the way.

Dean had wanted something from Sam for quite some time. He never pushed the topic, he tried not to bring it up at all. But, when their bodies were pressed together, sweaty after their activity, Dean decided to ask.

He pressed his lips against Sam’s ear and breathed, “I want to try something, Sammy.”

Sam turned his head so he could see Dean’s face. “What?”

Dean turned a little pink as he said, “I am not going to push anything. I’d just. . . I want . . .”

Sam took Dean’s hand and looked him in the eye, “I need to know what you want, Dean. You can say anything to me.”

Dean dropped his gaze and whispered, “I want to feel your fingers inside me.”

Sam just looked at him for a moment. Totally caught off guard.

“I’m not saying that you need to move our of your comfort level. I’d just like it if you would try to be in me. You can say ‘no’ and I won’t bring it up again.”

“I’m not saying no,” Sam spoke slowly. “Memories just came back.”

“They aren’t here, Sammy. It’s just me. I’m not going to invade your space, I just want you to invade mine,” Dean hoped that he explained himself clearly.

“Are you sure?”

Dean nodded.

“Will you tell me everything you feel so that I won’t hurt you?”

It tugged Dean’s heart that Sam associated an act of love with pain. “I’ll talk to you. You won’t hurt me.”

Sam struggled with himself and then said, “I love you, Dean. I want you to have what you want. I’m trying this because I love you even though I’m not that comfortable with it.”

“There’s no way to be comfortable with it. Neither of us have tried it. It is just another way to express our love. If it doesn’t work for us, that’s fine. Then, we know. I trust you, Sammy. I know how gentle you are. Those are the only reasons why I’ve asked you.”

Sam grabbed the lubricant and turned on the light. “I need to be able to see your face Dean. That’s the only way that I can do this.”

“Whatever you say,” Dean shifted so that Sam could sit between his legs.

Sam knelt down the bed and pulled Dean closer so that part of him rested at an angle on Sam’s thighs. Sam looked at Dean’s face and then placed some lubricant on his fingers as he rubbed a circle around Dean’s hole.

“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean encouraged him on.

Sam moved his fingertip slightly into Dean’s hole and met with resistance. “Dean?” He asked, looking at Dean’s face.

“Still good,” Dean’s voice was breathy. “Just tight. Wait until my body relaxes.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Dean shook his head. Sam felt the resistance turn to spasms. Dean moaned. Sam barely moved his finger in further.

Dean shifted his hips around, “Need more.”

Sam’s heart was beating fast as he slowly glided his finger in, afraid that he might hurt Dean.

“There,” Dean’s word was cut short. “Right there.”

Sam could feel a small bundle and he stroked it.

“Ahh!” Dean tilted his hips back and forth, essentially pushing that bundle against Sam’s finger.

Dean grew hard as he moved his hips and gripped the pillow. Sam took his free hand and moved it along Dean’s shaft trying to time his movements to Dean’s.

Sam watched as Dean moaned and whimpered, tossing his head side to side and rocking his hips. Dean started to call Sam’s name until his brain was stripped of that function. When Dean came, he yelled for Sammy and he clenched and fluttered around Sam’s finger. With Dean trying to catch his breath, Sam slowly removed his finger and kissed Dean.

“Did I do good?” Sam smiled at Dean.

“Everything,” Dean replied while taking deep breaths. “Everything I thought of and more, Sammy.” He pulled Sam down to rest beside him.

Sam grabbed some covers and pulled them up. He laid head on Dean’s chest and listened to how fast his heart was beating. When it had slowed down significantly, Sam asked, “Did it really feel that great?”

“Yes, Sammy. It did,” Dean assured him. “Were you okay with it?”

“It is just hard to make that feeling good correlate with what I felt before.”

“They aren’t going to jive, Sammy. They are totally different. I won’t ask you again to do that for me unless I’m really needing it. If you want to use your fingers in me sometimes, that’s good. If you ever want me to touch you there, even if it’s just to rub around the outside, just ask. You know I’d do anything for you, right?”

“I know,” Sam pressed his lips to Dean’s chest. “I think I need some sleep.”

“Me, too. We had quite the workout. Not to make it sound like exercise. This was much more enjoyable,” Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair and along his spine.

“Love you,” Sam said as Dean turned off the light.

“I love you more than you know,” Dean replied. “This is my favorite place to be. It’s where I belong. Right next to you.”

Sam was silent as he wondered about what they had discovered that evening. When Dean was asleep, Sam got up to blow out the candles. It felt so right to just curl back into Dean, his protector and, more importantly, his lover.

PART 59

Sam woke up and realized, not for the first time, that Dean looked sexy when he slept. He had bed head and his face was relaxed. The lips that Sam adored were parted slightly because Dean only snored a little unless he was drunk. He had one arm resting on his chest and the sheets were tangled just below his waist. Not low enough to actually show anything, but his abs just drew Sam's eyes downward. This was the Dean that only Sam got to see. When Dean had been busy chasing women, he didn't stay over. When they had hunted with their dad, they'd slept with some type of pajamas. This was Dean in his natural state, oozing sex. Sam wondered how they'd been able to keep their hands off each other as long as they had.

Sam tore himself from the warm bed and got dressed. He headed to the lobby to get coffee and doughnuts. He did not want to see Dean without his morning caffeine. That was a mistake Sam only made once.

When he got back to the room, Dean had shifted to put an arm over where Sam would have been lying. Dean had been searching for him in his sleep, so Sam quickly undressed and snuggled next to Dean, putting his arm over him.

"Where ya been?" Dean's voice was thick with sleep.

"Grabbed us some coffee and doughnuts," Sam ran his fingers through Dean's spiky hair.

"Hmm," was all Sam got for a response.

"Do you want your coffee while it's hot?"

"Will you still be here when I get back?" Dean asked in return.

"I was thinking of having coffee with you, but, yeah, I'm not going anywhere."

Dean nodded and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Sam grabbed the two fluffy white robes from the closet and offered one to Dean. Dean just raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, they came with the room," was Sam's excuse.

Relaxing in their robes, sipping coffee and downing doughnuts, Dean said, "This is a real nice place, Sammy. You did good picking it out. Do you think people actually live like this?"

"Only the rich ones that have servants and practically no job," Sam guessed.

"This would not be the life for me, Sam. I love it as a vacation, but I need to work and get dirty."

"I know," Sam smiled. "I'm only in school because I want to stay clean at work."

"Wuss," Dean smirked as he took another sip of coffee.

***

When they'd ate their fill, Dean went to Sam and pulled his head down for a kiss. It was a slow, lingering kiss, a distraction while Dean untied both their robes. Dean shed his and slid his arms around Sam, pulling their bodies together.

"I'd like to say something to seduce you right now, but I need more sleep. I must be getting old."

"Id like you to try seducing me later," Sam agreed. "You're not old, unless I'm old, too."

"Great, dude," Dean laughed. "Now we're both old."

"Just tired, Dean," Sam whispered. "We'll never be old. We keep each other young."

"Keep telling yourself that. I'm thinking the whirlpool would be nice when we wake up."

"That sounds good," Sam stretched out on the bed and Dean had his head on Sam's shoulder.

***

"I'm hungry," Dean informed Sam when they woke up.

"How can you be hungry, Dean? All we've done since breakfast is sleep."

"I just am, Sammy. You know how I get."

Sam shook his head. Just as a Dean with no caffeine was a bad thing, so was a hungry one. "I put some sandwiches in the fridge," Sam pointed across the room.

"Why did you bring sandwiches? I eat those every day."

"I thought we might not want to leave our room to eat and they were easy to make."

"Not leaving the room," Dean nodded as he walked naked to the fridge. "Good thinking, Sammy."

After Dean's stomach was full, they decided a soak in the whirlpool would do them good. Sam read the directions on how to start it as Dean lowered himself in. Sam got the jets working and Dean sighed, "Ooh, this is nice. Think we could have one of these at home?"

"I thought you couldn't live like this," Sam said with a smile.

"Not the white robes and leisurely breakfasts with nothing planned for the day. I could handle a whirlpool, though. I think that should be our next investment for the house."

"Our next investment is already taken, Dean. The baby, remember?"

"Okay, the one after that," Dean was pretty agreeable.

Sam sat on the opposite side of the whirlpool and sunk down so his whole body was under the hot water.

"I don't want to sit by your stinking feet, Sam. Come sit by me."

"I want to have my own jet. The closest one to you is still pretty far away. Unless you'll share your jet that you have pointed at your back."

"No. Nope. Can't share. It's just one of my rules."

"Then I stay here."

"Come on, Sam."

"No," Sam got a mischievous look to his face as he splashed water at Dean.

"Hey! Stop that!"

"What? Worried you're going to mess up your hair?" Sam had to laugh.

Dean realized he didn't have a comeback for that since he hadn't combed his hair, so he splashed Sam back.

"Jet hogger!"

"Stinky feet!"

"Bed head!"

"Sasquatch!"

"Old!" Sam smirked because he knew that could send Dean to a whole new level.

Dean paused for a moment, wondering if the ice bucket would be of any assistance to him at that point. Deciding it wouldn't, he yelled back, "Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

The splashing stopped and they soaked in silence. When Sam got lonely on his side of the whirlpool, he made his way over to Dean. Dean put an arm around him and they settled in together.

"This would be nice to have at home," Sam said dreamily as the hot water and comfort of Dean's body worked their magic.

"Uh-huh."

***

"I could just go to bed," Dean sighed.

"You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I don't want our bed to smell like all the chemicals in the whirlpool."

"Picky, picky," Dean mumbled as he stepped out. "Whoa!" Dean yelled as he went into a one foot slide over the tile. "Watch it out here, Sammy. It's kinda slick."

"I suppose we should clean this up," Sam commented when he got out.

Dean was already out of the room. "Later."

Sam stepped carefully, wondering if clothes broke falls at all. He defiantly didn't want to fall naked on tile.

"Shower, then?" Dean asked as Sam safely made it to the carpet.

"Yeah, I just want to call home to make sure everything is okay."

"You're going to call home before getting dressed?"

"What's the problem with that?"

"Okay, I don't know. I only ever pictured you on the phone without clothes if you were talking to me."

"What?"

"You're going to be naked talking to Drew," Dean pointed out.

"So? He doesn't know that. It's not like he can see me or I'm gonna be talking dirty to him."

"It just seems weird to me."

"You're weird," Sam replied as he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. "There. Better?"

"Yep," Dean turned and said, "Meet ya in the shower."

***

"Hello," Drew answered.

"Hey, Drew. How's it going?"

"Good. I've been able to trick her into eating. I think I figured out why she's so sad. She thought that my folks not talking to her had something to do with her, like she did something wrong. I told her it's their problem and I don't approve of it. She couldn't understand how your family could be so nice when hers couldn't even call."

"I don't understand that, either," Sam admitted. "Did you tell her she's not cut off from our family after the baby is born?"

"Yeah, she said John had told her that but I don't think she believed it totally until I told her."

***

Sam walked into the bathroom and asked in a sing-song voice, "Dean, are you decent?"

"I'm never decent and it hasn't stopped you before."

The shower curtain opened and Sam stepped in.

"What took you so long?" Dean asked, smiling.

PART 60

That night as Sam and Dean laid in each other's arms, resting but not asleep, Sam whispered, "I want you to touch me."

It took Dean a moment to realize what Sam was talking about. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I want to get over that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach. I want to be better."

"You are better," Dean kept his voice soft. "There's nothing that you have to do."

"You said all I have to do is ask," Sam sounded like he was getting agitated.

"Ok," Dean got ready as Sam shifted to a comfortable position on the bed. He got the lubricant ready and looked up at Sam who had an arm across his eyes. "Sammy, talk to me." Sam removed his arm and looked Dean in the eye. "I love you, Sammy."

"I know," Sam tried to smile.

Dean applied some lubricant to the area. He looked up to see Sam's face all tensed up.

"I can't do this," Dean moved so he was lying by Sam.

"Why?" Sam had a tone to his voice.

"Just listen to me," Dean spoke calmly. "You're tense. This is clearly something you don't want to do right now, not like this. But, I have an idea. I know you trust me, but I feel that you would trust yourself more."

"What?"

"I'll be here by you and be supportive. You're the one who will have to do the touching. I don't want to be the one touching you when you can't relax. Trust me, this is the best way to do it."

Sam looked at him with sad, scared eyes.

Dean took Sam's hand and kissed it. "It's okay. I'll help you through it."

Sam looked doubtful as Dean let go of his hand.

"Sammy, remember that it's just me and you here. Reach down when you're ready. It's going to be fine." Sam moved his hand down his body. "Good, Sammy. You should feel the lubricant down there. I want you to rub it around when you are ready."

Sam's expression changed.

"Are you okay, Sammy?"

Sam nodded.

"Remember that I'm right here," Dean went on. "You're safe and loved."

Sam's breath hitched and he moved his hand back to his chest.

"Did it feel good or bad?" Dean asked.

Sam looked confused.

"Kinda hard to tell when you're doing both the giving and receiving?" Dean suggested.

"Yeah."

"You look more relaxed, Sammy. Did you want me to try now?"

"Yes."

Dean got back into position and looked at Sam who was looking back at him with love in his eyes.

Dean moved his finger slowly around Sam's opening. "How are you doing?" he asked Sam.

"G-Good."

"This is how it's supposed to feel, Sammy." Dean rubbed a little more before lying down by Sam again.

Sam buried his face in Dean's shoulder.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I feel so stupid," was Sam's muffled reply.

"Why? We figured it out. There's nothing stupid about that."

"I should have -- I wanted to be okay."

"We started out from a different place than most people. We still got to where we needed to be. That's all that is important."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. You feel loved, don't you?"

Sam nodded.

"Good, because I'm not done yet." Dean lowered his head to kiss Sam's neck, trailing kisses until he reached

Sam's chest.

When Dean saw Sam's loving smile looking down at him, he went for Sam's lips. "I love you so much, Sammy."

"I love you, too, Dean."

With fingers entwined in hair, holding each other close, their breathed the same air as they kissed and murmured endearments to each other. They had drifted apart and found each other again, the way it used to be. When they lived for each other and craved the feel of bare skin, gentle touches and communicated with actions instead of words.

***

"What have you thought of for names?" Sam asked after the lovemaking was done and they were as close as they could be.

"I don't know. It won't be for, what, three more months. I haven't thought about it."

"I thought Mary would be a good middle name."

"Not a first name?" Dean asked.

"No. I'd want her to have her own identity but still have roots with her middle name."

"Are you thinking John for a boy's middle name, too?"

"I don't know. We could have one of our names," Sam suggested.

"How would we even decide that?"

Sam shrugged. "Do we need a baby name book?"

"There should be enough names on your computer so that we won't need a book. Should we write down any ideas now?"

"Sure," Sam grabbed paper and a pen. "Any suggestions?"

"Benjamin. Danielle," Dean started.

"Connor. Stacia," Sam added.

"Stacia? Where'd that come from?"

"Just thought it sounded nice," Sam said.

"Lily. Franklin."

"Olivia. Nathaniel. Jenny."

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter to me. How about you?"

"I'm secretly hoping for a boy, but I'll play dolls if I have to."

Sam just smiled at Dean.

"What are you staring at?" Dean demanded.

"You just said you'll play dolls. That's so sweet."

"It is not. It's just a fact of life if we get a girl."

"Girls can play with trucks and be in sports, you know."

"I wouldn't want my baby girl getting hurt in sports," Dean insisted.

Sam laughed. "I was afraid I might be a little overprotective. I'll be nothing compared to you."

Dean playfully hit Sam with a pillow.

"What was that for?" Sam asked.

"Calling me overprotective."

"Dean, that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"To me it is. I am a hunter. I live on the edge."

"Okay, Rambo. You can play dolls and I promise not to laugh or take pictures."

"That's better," Dean said as he laid back down and Sam rested on his shoulder. "We need to keep he legend of Dean Winchester alive."

"If you say so." Sam said softly, "I'd rather have the man behind the legend."

"You already do."