Supernatural Fiction & Art

Bobby came downstairs and Dean and John were still yelling at each other. Neither noticed Bobby when he walked into the room. Bobby whistled as loud as he could and both men had to stop yelling and cover their ears.

"Dean, Sam's in your dad's old room. Go up there now. He needs you."

Dean didn't waste anytime, hurrying up the stairs.

"Bobby," John still had that tone in his voice.

"Not now, John," Bobby was pissed. He waited until he heard the shower start upstairs. "Sam was raped by three men just before Christmas. Your wonderful comment threw him back into that hell. I found him curled up in the Impala, silent, shaking and crying. He wanted to leave right then but I told him that he had to stay overnight. I also told him that if you didn't get your act together, I'd run interference and get them out of the house without having to see you. I intend to keep my promise if I have to."

"I didn't know," John sat down. "How, I mean, when did it happen?"

"When we sent them on that hunt," Bobby replied. "Sam said I could tell you that much so you'd know. He doesn't want you asking him any questions."

"I'm his father and I deserve to know what happened to those bastards!"

"If he or Dean wants to tell us, they will. With your reaction tonight, you may have closed off communication with them for awhile."

"It's wrong, Bobby! To think of them being that way!"

"What way?" Bobby asked. "The same way we are, by chance?"

"No, we haven't--"

"They haven't either," Bobby interrupted. "Since you described it as eloquently as 'sticking it to someone', I doubt we ever will."

John was stunned.

"I have cared about you for a long time. I have taken care of you when you were hurt, fed you when you were bedridden, and loved you when you felt all alone. I don't need the crap that you handed those boys. You need to make an exception for them, John. View their relationship as you view ours. I don't particularly want you in my bed tonight, but it's clear that you can't sleep upstairs by the boys."

John nodded.

"I won't have you disrespect me, John. Any comments like you threw at the boys and we are through."

"I'm sorry," John was humbled.

"You should be," Bobby started to turn out the lights. "It's been a long evening. We'd better get to sleep."

In bed that night, it felt like Bobby was miles away instead of just an arm's length away. In his mind, Bobby was visiting many other places he'd been during his life, wondering how he ended up here.

***

"Sammy," Dean locked the door behind him.

Sam looked up with red-rimmed eyes and an exhausted look on his face. Dean put his arms around him. "Let's get you in the shower, okay? We'll get you all warmed up, changed and into bed."

Sam nodded.

Dean started to run the hot water and then got Sam down to his boxers. "Come on, Sammy. I'll just help you in there."

Sam's legs were so shaky, Dean knew he couldn't stand alone in the shower. "How about I run you a bath?"

Sam shook his head. "I just want to be done."

Dean started to take off his own clothing and Sam gave him a startled look. "I'm just going to make sure you don't fall down in there." Dean saw Sam's hand holding his boxers up. "I'm not going to look, Sam. I just want to get us to bed."

Sam's eyes were so sad. Dean had to hold him for a few minutes.

"Now, you're just going to look in my eyes," Dean told Sam. "I'll be looking right back at you. I won't be looking anywhere else."

Sam nodded.

Dean pulled Sam's boxers down and help looking up into Sam's eyes. In the shower, Dean ran the soap and washcloth over Sam's body from memory. He wasn't going to break his stare. Dean quickly washed himself up, too, before the both of them stepped out. Dean gave Sam a towel to hold at his waist while he went to get some new boxers.

Sam was shivering when he got back. Dean tenderly wiped Sam off. He moved his towel under the towel that Sam was holding to dry those areas. He picked up Sam's silk boxers and slipped them on under the towel.

"You're all covered up," Dean told him. "Just let me get ready here and we'll get into bed."

Sam was still shaky on the way back to the bed. Dean helped him in and got him all covered up before getting in the other side. Dean held one arm out to the side and coaxed Sam into curling up by him. Once Sam's head was on Dean's shoulder, Dean held him close.

"I love you, Sammy. I'm always here for you."

"I know."

"Where did you go?"

"Impala. Bobby found me there. He knows what happened to me. He's going to tell Dad but Dad isn't allowed to ask me about it."

"How was Bobby when you told him?"

"I think he was hurt that I didn't tell him before, but he understood. He told me about him and Dad."

"That's another huge step," Dean commented. "We can't just go for one big revelation at a time in our family,

Sammy. I think we covered three in less than two hours."

"It's just been tiring to me," Sam sighed. "What did Dad say?"

"Nothing worth repeating."

"I love you, Dean."

"I know you do," Dean kissed his forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, so get some sleep."

"Don't I get a goodnight kiss?"

Dean didn't think that Sam would want anything remotely sexual so the request caught him off guard. In the dark, his lips found Sammy's and their movements seemed to ease the pain that had been brought back with their dad's explosion.

When Sam stopped for a breath, he whispered, "I like that." He settled back into Dean. "Thanks for not peeking."

"One day, it won't be an issue for us, Sammy. Until then, I'll do everything I can to provide you with the privacy you need when we're in the light."

"That's why I love you," Sam said as he drifted off to sleep.

John laid still in the silence of the house. He heard Bobby's snoring but it didn't comfort him like it usually did. Tonight it just reminded him of what Bobby had said and that Bobby was right.

It was like the pot calling the kettle black. If he could overlook the fact that they were brothers. He knew that they loved each other. He just never expected brotherly love to cross into something else.

Then that last comment he'd made to Sammy, how he wished he could take it back. Even without knowing about Sam's assault, that comment was just plain mean. It was said out of anger and frustration, but that still didn't make it right. He knew others saw him as a hard man, a dedicated hunter who raised his sons like soldiers, but he'd never been a mean man.

Hearing about what had happened to Sam made his blood boil. He wanted those three men so he could take it out on their hides for hurting his little boy. For forcing themselves into his body when he was truly innocent in that way. He wanted to know if Dean beat the hell out of them, what the authorities did and what the outcome was. But, he wasn't allowed to ask.

He wished they could have called him so he could have been there to comfort and support them. Sam had been physically and emotionally hurt, and because Dean loved Sam, Dean had been hurt also. He could have told Sam that it wasn't his fault. He could have helped Dean deal with the aftermath. He could have just held them, as girly as it sounded.

Bobby had gotten Sam out of the car. He had somehow reached Sam through all the turmoil and trauma John had reminded Sam of. Bobby had gotten Sam to come inside and stay for the night.

Bobby loved John's boys as his own. He was gentler with them, it was just part of his personality. John wished he had that in him to be that way. He had been trying to reach out to the boys and leave the lines of communication open. He'd been doing better until it all blew up tonight.

"Bobby," John whispered. "Are you awake?"

"With all that's gone on tonight, did you actually think I'd be sleeping?" Bobby asked as he rolled over to face John. "What's up?"

"Just thinking about the boys and how I screwed up."

"Well, John, you gave it your all. No one can ever blame you for doing something partway."

"I've been thinking about you."

"What about me?" Bobby asked.

"That I can't lose you."

"You can't lose me or you want me to stay around? John, there's a difference. Either you feel you can make me stay, or you want me to stay of my own accord."

"I want you to stay because you love me," John's tears started. "I want you to stay because I love you."

"What about that rude comment you made?"

"That slipped out. I know it's no excuse. I really don't think of it that way. I consider it an extension of the love we already share."

Bobby was silent for a moment, processing.

"Please don't make me leave, Bobby. I'd never hurt you intentionally. I can be stubborn and sometimes hurt others without meaning to. I'm so sorry."

Bobby could see how worked up John was getting. He laid a hand on John's cheek, "I think we'll be fine, John. I'm worried about the boys upstairs."

"Me, too," John said as Bobby moved closer. "I want my boys to heal and get past what happened. I just don't know how to help them do that."

"Just by being there, Johnny Boy." Bobby ran his fingers through John's hair. "Now, get some sleep." Bobby kissed John's forehead. "I love you."

John breathed a sigh of relief before he responded in a wavering voice, "I love you, Bobby."

***

Dean was awaken by Sam's shaking. He was back in the memory of the attack. Sam was saying words but Dean couldn't understand him mumbling. He gently shook Sam to wake him up. It took Sam a minute to figure out where they were. First, he saw Dean's face and knew he was safe. It took him longer to place the room they were in. It was the first time he'd slept in his dad's room since he was a toddler.

Dean was already rubbing his arm and talking to him softly. Sam looked right at Dean while he tried to slow his breathing and get his heartbeat under control.

"You're doing great, Sammy," Dean told him. "Try to relax. You're safe. I'm here."

Dean had pulled Sam closer when he started shaking. Once Sam started to become aware, he began to relax. Sam's muscles, tight from shivering, loosened and allowed Sam to sink into Dean's arms. The more familiar the feeling, to more his muscles let go. After what seemed like an eternity to Dean, Sam was finally lying in his arms, awake and reoriented.

"I feel so stupid," Sam's eyes welled up. "I should be over this by now."

"There is no timeline when it comes to healing," Dean's voice was gentle. "It takes however long it takes. I'm proud of you for how far you have come. I know it hasn't been easy. But, you've done it."

"You've helped me."

"That's my job," was his snappy comeback. "Seriously, Sam. I love you and would do anything for you. Just as I know you'd do anything for me."

Sam nodded.

"So why do you think you should be all better? You wouldn't be expect me to be, would you?"

"No."

"This is something we learn to live with. I think we're going a wonderful job. Dad's comments just threw us. There are going to be bumps like that, Sammy. All we can do is weather the storm and move on."

"I wonder what Dad thinks of me, Dean. I know Bobby told him."

"It doesn't matter what Dad thinks. But, he's most likely beating himself up about what he said." Dean paused for a moment. "Are you happy with me, Sammy?"

"Yes," Sam replied without hesitation.

"I'm happy with my life with you. It's doesn't matter what other people think or do. Those that love us will accept us. Look at how easily Drew accepted us. He's a great guy," Dean told him.

"But he doesn't know we're brothers," Sam threw in.

"Only Dad, Bobby and some other hunters know, Sammy," Dean reassured him. "And they are few and far between."

"Are we going to hell for this?"

"You spent way too much time with Pastor Jim when we were young," Dean groaned. "Do you think loving someone is wrong, Sammy?"

"No."

"Does our relationship hurt anyone?"

"It upsets Dad."

"Making someone mad isn't the same as hurting them," Dean tried to explain. "Are we being mean to others or using them to make ourselves happy?"

"No."

"So do you think that loving someone while you aren't hurting others is wrong?"

Sam laughed about it, "No."

"So should we be sent to hell?"

"No, Dean," Sam snuggled further into Dean, craving the safety and security that he always felt there. "Can you hold me, Dean?"

"I already am, Sammy."

"I mean for a long time. And after I fall asleep."

"Sure. Why?"

"When I feel you close, I feel loved, protected and safe. I just need to feel that way tonight."

"I can hold you every night if you want me to, Sammy. It's just that usually at some point you break away and sprawl all over the bed."

"Hey, I have long limbs," Sam got defensive.

"I know. You tend to wrap them around me."

"I've never hear you complain before," Sam was puzzled.

"I'm not complaining, even now. I'm just point out that sometimes, no matter how much I want to hold you, you break away."

"I won't tonight. I need your comfort too much."

"Here I am, Sammy, and I'm all yours. Just find a comfortable position and fall asleep."

Sam shifted around a little bit before he settled in. Dean wrapped his arms securely around Sam. Still exhausted, they both fell back to sleep.

Bobby knocked softly on the bedroom door to see if the boys were awake. Dean shuffled his way to the door. When Dean opened the door, Bobby was shocked because Dean looked more tired than he had before he went to bed during the night.

"Are you okay?" Bobby asked.

"Sam had nightmares," Dean dismissed Bobby's concern. "What's up with Dad? Do we need to head out?"

"No, I think he knows what he did was wrong. He feels awful about it. He'd like to know more about Sam's getting hurt. What happened to the guys who did it, how badly Sam was hurt, if he's completely healed, if there's anything he can do to help. Those types of things."

"Sam doesn't want to talk about it," Dean told him.

"I know but will you? He's driving himself crazy, thinking of too many awful things. I'm not asking you to betray Sam. Talk to him about it first. Just consider it, okay?"

"I am way too tired for this heavy of a conversation right now," Dean said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "We'll come out after we're rested. I'll talk to Sam about talking to Dad. I can't make any promises. Sam's worried about what Dad thinks of him after the attack, like he asked for it or let it happen or something."

"He's just worried about Sam. He doesn't think of him any differently."

"If you say so. I just need some sleep, Bobby. I'll be more hospitable when I'm all rested."

"I understand," Bobby replied. "Goodnight."

Dean locked the door again before heading to the bathroom and then to bed. He curled himself around Sam's body and hoped they could get a few more hours without a nightmare.

***

John looked up from the cup of coffee that he'd been staring into instead of drinking. when he heard Bobby descend the stairs. "And?"

"Sam had nightmares last night. I doubt either of them got much sleep. Dean looked like hell. They're going to sleep until they're rested. Then, Dean will ask Sam if it is okay if Dean answers some of your questions about Sam's attack."

"Sam won't talk to me?"

"Dean refused that flat out. Just getting Dean to consider thinking about that conversations with you is a huge step on his part. You can't force them, John. They'll just go away."

"I'm exhausted. If the boys are sleeping, I think I'll go back to bed, too."

"I'll take a snooze in my recliner," Bobby told him. "I want to be able to hear them when they get up. I'll get you when I know anything."

John just nodded and went back into Bobby's room. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

***

Dean was awake, watching Sam sleep for sometime before Sam started to stir.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked.

"Okay," Sam yawned. "I still don't want to go downstairs."

"You might not have to for awhile yet," Dean replied. "I know you said Dad wasn't allowed to bring the attack up but Bobby told me that Dad had a few questions he'd like to ask about how bad you were hurt, if you were healed, if the cops did anything and what happened two the three guys."

"I can't do it, Dean. I can't talk to him."

"Is it alright if I do? Just to answer Dad's questions, nothing more. I won't tell him anything about our relationship because it is none of his business."

"What do you think we should do, Dean?"

"I think I could tell him with Bobby there. He'd keep Dad in line."

"If you think that's best, go ahead. I just want to sleep more and you can tell me about it later."

"I love you, Sammy," Dean gave him a hug and kiss. "I'll talk to Dad and then the matter will be closed."

Sam heard what Dean said but didn't believe it. Even if their Dad let it go, it would always be an issue for Sam, creeping up when he least expected it.

***

"Bobby," Dean tried to wake the man sleeping in the recliner.

"What?"

"I'll talk to Dad now, but only if you're there, too."

"Did you talk it over with Sam?"

Dean nodded his head. "He let me decide what would be best."

Bobby got up and went to get John.

***

"When did it happen?" John asked.

"Christmas was a Wednesday, so it was December 21st."

"How bad was Sam hurt?" Dean saw John reach for Bobby's hand.

"Cracked ribs, stitches inside along with cuts that extended to the outside of his body."

"Has he healed?"

"Physically, yes; Emotionally, well, you saw the results. At least the tests they did on him came back fine."

"What about the guys who did it?"

"I laid them out getting to Sam. They later plead guilty so they're headed to prison."

"Why didn't you tell me?" John's voice was pained.

"Sam was enough to deal with. Then, he didn't want anyone to know. Even just last night, he wondered if you thought differently of him because of it."

"Sam did nothing wrong. Did you tell him that?"

"Of course I did. I made sure he got his pain pills. I woke him up when he had nightmares. I comforted him when he cried. What else could you have done?"

"I could have been there to help you."

"You didn't know about our relationship so calling you wasn't really an option."

All three men were silent.

"If I had called you," Dean asked, "and told you what had happened and about mine and Sam's relationship, would you have come?"

"Yes. You are my boys. I'll always love you and take care of you."

"Feels good to hear that now, but what happened to that supportive attitude last night?"

"I was wrong," John's eyes started to fill. "I've done some thinking since then. I'm sorry for what I said. I hope you boys can forgive me."

"What about our relationship?"

"It creeps me out," John admitted. "But, I know that neither of you would hurt the other on purpose. You've depended on each other for a long time. This is a new extension. I just have one more question."

"Shoot."

"Sam had Jessica. You had numerous women. Did either of you date guys?"

"Nope," Dean's answer was quick. "Just each other."

John nodded. "I'm okay then. Are you?"

"I need to get back to Sam. He'll want to know how this went."

"Dean. You never answered if you can forgive me," John reminded him.

"We'll have to work on that," Dean thought for a moment. "That's going to be a process, not something that we can just say, 'Yeah, sure,' and 'poof', it's better."

John nodded. "Tell Sam I love him."

"I will," Dean called back as he hurried up the stairs.

***

Sam was in bed but still awake. He'd been awake since Dean headed downstairs. Many possible conversations ran through his mind, trying to picture how the conversation between Dad and Dean was going. Dean was right. It would be better if Bobby was there, too. Sam just wanted it to be over with.

"Sammy?" Dean sat down on the bed. "How are you doing?"

"Depends," Sam rolled over to face Dean. "How'd it go?"

"Pretty good, Better than expected, actually. Dad said to tell you that he loves you. He wishes we could have called him after the attack but understands why we didn't. He said he's okay with our relationship, but you know it's going to take some time before he's really okay with it." Dean paused. "Dad wants our forgiveness. I told him that's going to be a process but we'll work on it."

Sam sighed.

"Did you rest at all when I was downstairs?" Dean asked.

"No, I was too wired."

Dean swung his legs onto the bed and got under the covers. "Come here, Sammy." Sam laid his head on Dean's chest. "You just get some more rest, Sammy. I'm going to get some shut-eye, too."

Sam fell asleep first and Dean wasn't far behind. It was a near perfect sleep with the issues with their dad settled.

Dean was asleep when Sam woke up. Sam slipped out of bed and down the stairs to get something to eat. John was at the table.

“Sorry about last night, Sam. Did Dean tell you how our talk went?”

Sam nodded. “It’s going to take awhile for things to get better but I think we’ll be fine, Dad. We just have to adjust to changes in our family. Dean’s going to be on the defensive, and protective of me. We’ll both forgive you, though.”

“Like I promised, I won’t ask you any questions. But, if you want to talk to me, you know my number. Just like after Jessica died, I’ll always be here for you.”

“I will call you if I need to, Dad. I’ve jus been dealing with it and Dean has been helping me along the way.”

“I’m sure he has,” John smiled. “He’s always looked out for you and taken care of you.”

“You eaten?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. There’s chili in the fridge. Bobby’s working on a car that’s getting the best of him.”

“Maybe Dean could help when he gets up.”

“Maybe,” John looked out the kitchen window. Are we okay, Sam?”

“Yeah,” Sam told him. “I think we are.” Sam was quiet. “Bobby told me about you and him, Dad.”

John froze, coffee cup in mid-air.

“I think it’s great that you have each other. I know you still love and miss Mom, but I’m glad you have Bobby.”

“Um. Thanks, Sam,” John’s voice was unsure. “I didn’t want to tell you guys. I didn’t want you to feel like I ever quit loving your Mom or look at me differently as a man.”

“The same way I was worried what you thought of me?” Sam asked. “”We’ve got to start talking more and keeping less secrets. It’s the secrets that tear us apart.”

“You’re right, son,” John agreed. “Does Dean know about --”

“Yeah. He figured it out before I left for college. He feels the same way I do. No big deal.”

John just nodded, drinking his coffee.

***

“Need any help?” Dean asked Bobby, who was about to start throwing tools.”

“You happen to own a magic wand?”

“Nope. Is it that bad?” Dean popped his head under the hood.

“I don’t know,” Bobby stepped back. “It could be the car. It could be lack of sleep. It could be worrying about you Winchesters.”

“We are an interesting lot,” Dean nodded. “You’re an honorary member, so you can’t dump on us too bad.”

“Naw. I love ya all. You just drive me nuts sometimes.”

“Isn’t that a family’s job?”

“Dean, we are not the typical family.”

Dean just grinned. “Typical is so over-rated.”

Sam was grateful to be going home. They had been civil at Bobby's, but it still stressed Sam out. Sam couldn't concentrate enough to read his textbooks on the long drive home.

"What's wrong?" Dean's voice was gentle.

"It's just too much," was all the response he got.

"The books, Dad, or both?"

"Both," Sam sighed.

"Just put the books down, Sammy," Dean laid a hand on Sam's leg. "Try to relax. That wasn't exactly a vacation that we had."

Sam put the book in his bag and his bag on the floor. He tried to do his usual slouch but that wasn't comfortable. After shifting and moving some more, he laid down and rested his head on Dean's thigh.

"That's my Sammy," Dean ran his fingers through Sam's long hair. "This is a soothing way to drive."

Sam just smiled.

"Comforting you is soothing for me, too. Who would have thought?" Dean smiled through the windshield.

Dean turned his tunes down. He looked down at Sam's face while he slept. Sam's forehead still had the crease in it from worry. Dean made it his goal to smooth it out before Sam went back to class.

***

"Sammy, gas and food stop. Are you hungry?"

Sam raised his head and started to sit up. "Yeah. I could eat."

"Let's go in," Dean didn't want to rush Sam but he wanted to get home so Sam would feel better.

Inside the diner, Dean looked across at Sam and watched him pick at his food. He hadn't eaten much at Bobby's, either. Sam was too busy moving his food around to notice Dean's look of concern.

They got home after dark and Dean breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the Impala off. "Good to be home."

Sam nodded.

They dropped their bags on the bedroom floor. Sam still had the worried crease on his forehead.

When Sam came to bed, he was tired and tense.

"Roll over," Dean told Sam.

"Why?"

"Just do it," Dean replied.

Sam rolled over onto his stomach. Sam straddled his waist and began to massage the kinks out of Sam. Dean heard Sam's soft moans and sighs as his muscles relented under Dean's loving touch. Dean smiled when he heard Sam make those sounds. So far, his plan was working.

Once he had massaged Sam's neck, back, arms and legs, Dean asked Sam to roll over again-which he did without question. Sam no longer had that crease in his forehead.

"Do you feel any better?" Dean asked although he already knew the answer.

Sam's reply was almost a purr.

Dean, being quite pleased with himself, laid down beside Sam, listening to his easy breathing and savoring the feel of his cheek against Sam's chest.

Sam' lazily ran his fingers through Dean's short hair. "I love you, Dean," Sam's voice washed over Dean, making him feel surrounded by Sam's love for him.

"I've always loved you, Sammy," Dean tried to convey the extent of his love. "Always."

***

Drew wasn't taking any summer classes, but he still came over when Sam was studying and would help him cram for tests. Drew was working part-time at a women's shelter as a handyman/janitor. He also interned a couple hours each day in a law office. It wasn't paid, of course, but it was experience. He'd had to do all the grunt work at the office, although sometimes he was able to shadow the lawyer and get some real-life learning.

Dean was happy back at the garage. The cars could be difficult but they were a good bunch of guys. They were usually willing to trade when one mechanic was getting too frustrated. Mr. Steven was a good boss, and the guys knew they were lucky to work for him.

***

Without hardly any notice, the school year rolled back around. Sam had a short break before starting the regular school year. It would be Sam’s last full year of school. Dean took some time off that coincided with Sam's break. They were able to sleep in, relax, and re-organize. They started to rough in rooms in the basement. It was slow going, but it was something they were learning together.

"Do you think we should put a bathroom down here?" Sam asked.

"We each need our own bathroom?" Dean was confused.

"I was thinking in case we have company. If we made a guestroom down here, they could have their own bathroom."

"We'd keep our guests in the basement?" Dean looked at him like he was from another planet. "I guess that is one way to guarantee that they don't outstay their welcome or come back."

"It would be after it's all fixed up," Sam insisted. "We could make it really nice. Dad and Bobby might come to see us."

"Do we want that?"

"It's getting better with Dad. We've always had a good relationship with Bobby. Wouldn't it be nice to have him visit?"

"I guess so. But, before you start planning on the guests, we'd better get the guestroom done or we won't have a place to put them."

"I know," Sam went back to the task at hand. "I was just thinking ahead. Dreaming, ya know?"

Dean just nodded.

"Don't you have dreams for the future?" Sam asked.

"I have dreams of you and me tonight, tomorrow morning, tomorrow night . . . "

"Dean, I'm serious."

"So am I! Night or early morning is when we make my dreams come true."

Sam just shook his head and went back to work.

Dean laughed at Sam’s expression, proud that he could still make Sam turn beet red.