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truly_desperate ([info]truly_desperate) wrote in [info]spinningcompass,
@ 2020-05-26 12:54:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:brynhild, loki

Who: Loki & Bryn
Where: Bryn's club
What: We will see...
When: An hour after this
Rating: Middlish?
Open: Nope
Status: Finished
It had been good that Katherine had asked for his help before he had a chance to reply. His daughter's presence had calmed him down and her worry for him and his dark mood had painted his world in different colours. He had not talked about it and his child knew when not to ask. It had given him time to see the world from a different angle. Children did that to you. Sometimes even with their presence. Brynhild and him would always be connected. There were many relationships he could throw away and walk away from. Many without an ounce of remorse. But the vampire would forever be his niece's mother. He liked his niece. She came too much after her father for his own taste but she was a good child and a good cousin to his daughter.

So instead of unleashing his anger further or simply ignoring the reason for his anger, he used a, for him, unconventional approach. He had always disliked an open and honest conversation. It was when you lost control. But Shannon had showed him that it had not always followed with rejection and Katherine tended to always push him just a little bit further before she let him draw back into silence.

As with everyone, the stones had made him find Brynhild easily enough. The left half of his body was in skeletal form which just stopped at his cheeks and chin; he had a hard time holding onto life when emotions got the better of him. Brynhild looked a mess when he arrived. He did not need to smell the air or spot the bottles to know she had been drinking. For once, he did not comment on it.

"You are right," he said softly from where he had appeared. His voice was calm, his narrative carefully crafted. "I never thought you were good enough for him. Do you know why?"



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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-27 06:20 am UTC (link)
"Loki, I had to bury all my children, and most of my grandchildren before I reached my first century. My first millennia I had seen wars, and illnesses that had wiped out whole civilizations. The Black plague wiped out over half of Europe alone." The memory of those years had her reaching back behind her in effort to get another bottle. She made a noise of disgust that her arm was not quite long enough. But she faced him again, when faced with that truth. "There was no saving them. And my daughters don't need me, they have been without me long enough by now that they have got on just fine. They want me, I guess, but want and need are very different things. And Zu, she has you, and your family." Bryn wasn't even sure she'd be missed. "And now her father has returned. So she does not need me at all." She shrugged as if it saying the words didn't feel like a giant plunging sword to the heart.

What she didn't realize was that her cheeks were wet, and stained with crimson tears. "As for what I learned... Everything that I know. I'm only two hundred years into my second millennia. I'm sure there's much more for me to learn, or will be. First, I must start with rebuilding how I was though." She leaned toward him as if it were a secret, and whispered loudly. "I've gotten very soft."

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-05-27 07:09 am UTC (link)
The god took in her words, saw the tears on her face. He cocked his head to the side. "I cannot pretend to even fathom your pain," he said eventually. "There is nothing good about leaving your children to death. I would take on the universe to prevent that." In a way, that was what he was doing. Scarlet had the comfort of knowing that she would leave when her child died. Loki had the dread that he would remain. So it was something he could not let happen. "And you are right, they do not need us. They do not need you. They do not need me. They will survive. If we are gone, the next day will arrive and they will live through it." He sighed. "That does not mean that we cannot make it better. All of them carry scars... you know what that is like... if they stumble, they can get up without us. It will just leave one more scar. But would you not rather prevent that? They already carry too many for their young age. As for my niece, of course she wants you in your life. She wants you and Thor more than anything else. You both are her cornerstones. I do not matter to her." The girl had never sought him out for help. She went to her mother, to her cousins and to her grandmother. Loki could hardly blame her. The last person he had tried to help, he had urged to fight something bigger than him. Built him up, only for it to end in his brother's death. Frost giants were not known for the support they provided.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-27 09:33 am UTC (link)
"You can't Loki. You can't damn them to this existence. If you love them you will savor their every moment. Because memories you make can, and will, sustain you for a very long time." Her voice suddenly lost all power that had been behind it as she shook her head slowly. "But changing something in them that forces this onto them... I do not resent the gods for that prophecy that made me say yes, but I could never make anyone I love go through the same things I have. And if you make them stay beyond the time they are supposed to, they will go through that. Over, and over, and over again." Would he do that to people he loved? Make them live an unnatural life for his sake?

"It is why I bed so many. The warmth, and act make it easy to forget for a few moments. But I have done it so long... It is hard not to do anything else when the crushing weight threatens to drag me under. I thought I could do something else. I wanted to, because a god wanted me. And wanted me without sharing with anyone else." Bryn slipped off the counter top, and sat on the floor, her legs folded under her skirt beneath her. "And I did give him my heart. But old habits are hard to beat, and my sense of smell drives me more than I'd like."

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-05-27 10:01 am UTC (link)
It was a topic he had spent many hours contemplating but Brynhild's words hurt nonetheless. "I will not force anything on them." The hurt was clearly there. "But, yes, I will give them the opportunity to stay for as long as they wish. If they tire of this life, I will let them go. I will do so with remorse but I will not hold them here when they do not wish to." He doubted it would get that far. Most vanished or died before they had the chance to grow old. It was an unlikely occurrence. "When my daughter came here from a time in the far off future, she seemed happy. She seemed settled. There were many more adventures waiting for her. I do not know if she could have lived without me that long. Some creatures here live longer than others. They had no choice at birth as to what they were born as." The same way he had no choice. He was a Jotunn who had been taken in by the Aesir. If he could have changed what he was, he would have gladly accepted the change. "I aim to give the ones I care about a choice. If they succumb to grief, I will not hold them in this life. If eternity is a curse for you, I can surely take it from you too. It is an offer not born out of malice. The gods put you on this course, they can lead you away from it."

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-27 10:50 am UTC (link)
"No Loki. That is a kind offer, and I do appreciate it, but I don't know if you and Thor, and possibly Kai, were the gods the Seer spoke of. I will not have you face any wrath because of me. I will die when I am meant to. I have hopes that it will be with a sword in my hand." Because that she'd see her family again was the only thing that got her through. She only hoped that she'd still have a little bit of her former self so that her family would recognize her.

Bryn took a slow breath. "I am sorry I abandoned you. If you still want me around, I can make effort to come around. Perhaps not in the house, but on the wheel, at least. Unless you were to have me over for a tea... or something."

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-05-27 11:16 am UTC (link)
The god nodded. An acceptance of her apology and offer. He was glad he had come. He was glad Katherine had been able to calm him enough to see past his resentment.

A part of him wanted to talk her out of her decision. He was the god of finding loopholes. He liked to break rules and find his way to escape contracts. Most importantly, he did not think that all her suffering would end where she thought it would. They had been ripped from their home world and potentially forged as a second self. There might be no return for them. Loki himself had nothing to return to anyway. But he did not speak of such things. He doubted it was something she wanted to hear.

"Talk to my brother," he said softly. "Not for my sake. Do it for your child and look after them. There is still much more you can give them. All of them only have one parent who truly remembers them. Do not lessen the impact you can have on their souls and minds." And if it was not for the children's sakes, it was for Brynhild's. "They are a better purpose for life than alcohol and men." A smile tugged on his lips. "Many of us are highly disappointing."

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-28 07:29 am UTC (link)
"I will. The Mother can't stay a mystery forever." Was she prepared to handle that smell again? The sound of his heart? His voice? All the memories made in that short two year span. For Zu, for Loki, because she hadn't realized how it had affected him, she would do it. And she'd try to be there more, for them all.

"Now, that may be true, but you're a whole lot of fun before things get disappointing. But I will stop mixing the two. Waking up at the bottom of a fur pile once, was enough for me." Maybe. Though she couldn't make promises. Her liking of booze was new. The enjoyment of sex, that was as old as she was.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-05-29 05:38 am UTC (link)
Another nod. An acknowledgement of her words. He was about to comment on the mystery but the conversation moved on. He did not dare ask what fur pile she meant. He remembered his own experiences too well, and there were some things he was simply not proud of and no one else needed to know. Not even Shannon.

"Oh, why thank you," he said amused. A smile tugged at his lips. "Fun before being disappointing. A man takes what he can get. Or maybe I should jump the sinking ship." For a second female features flickered through his own. He was comfortable with a shift like that even though he did not allow it to last.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-29 06:01 am UTC (link)
Bryn actually chuckled at the shift. "I know I don't discriminate, I don't know about your dragon though. And women are just as fun... but sometimes they are disappointing." Her nose wrinkled. Her tryst with Isabel wasn't forgotten even in her boozy haze. Not the best choice she'd ever made.

"I'm not like her... Am I?" She knew Loki could be brutally honest. And that was what she was asking for. Had she become the new Isabel?

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-05-29 06:38 am UTC (link)
He had seen quite the share of disappointing women in his lifetime. Most had been disappointing because they slobbered after Thor and had ignored him. A lack of taste was a severe disappointment in Loki's eyes. But it was not the only flaw they displayed.

The god did not comment on it. A question was asked and it produced a frown on his face. It took him a moment to produce a guess as to who exactly she meant. He went through the possibilities and landed on the genie. "Now, if you mean Isabel, you certainly crave company as much as she does and from my observation, you both use it to make yourself feel better. Get a partner to fill a hole." He tilted his hand. Smirk. "And not just in that way. But, if you don't mind my honesty,-" He did not wait for answer. "-and both of you might not see the damage it can cause around you. However, you deal differently with the heart-break. From what I can see now, you dive into self-loathing, she into self-pity. That might not mean you are free of the latter but there are clear differences." Back then, he played around with the mind stone and the whispers and thoughts around the station had revealed many secrets. "Any word of self-deprecation that came from her lips served a purpose. She slashed wounds into herself in front of others to manipulate their actions. They were tools. She put herself down while inside she saw the fault in her partners. I do not think you use yours as tools." His tone was oddly casual as he spoke. Self-loathing had become a part of his life. He had learned to speak about it calmly because he could think about it more calmly. One got used to it. "You will try to let go while she planned her day around getting you back."

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-29 09:55 am UTC (link)
That was the harsh truth she was looking for. Well, at least she wasn't using her self-loathing to hurt anyone but herself. "Thanks. Though you forgot to mention that I do not try to make men that do not want me, want me." Bryn felt that she could pride herself on that. "For instance, you have not show any interest in me whatsoever. Though you are pretty. But I do not feel the slightest inclination," Big words for someone who's drank as much as she had, "to rid myself of all my clothes, and throw myself at you." She was very very proud of that fact. She wasn't sure that she'd ever flirted with Loki.

She put her face in her hands. "I have settled it with myself, besides the odd warmer of a bed, not my bed because I don't take men home, I am going to be alone for the rest of my existence. I will not put someone else through what I put Thor through." She was resolute for an inebriated person.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-05-31 06:09 am UTC (link)
He raised an eyebrow at her first judgement and the comment that she was not interested in him. He let it rest with that, not sure whether it was supposed to be a compliment or an insult. It felt like the latter.

"I will not talk you out of the path you have chosen. You know your self-control better than I do. But swearing off sex must not mean loneliness," he commented.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-31 09:23 am UTC (link)
"Oh, I'm not swearing off sex. I'm not nun material. I'm just swearing off relationships. I will let whoever is doing the chasing know that is how things will be. Then people who are nice and warm and sweet, like Thor, will not get hurt." She wouldn't get hurt. It would only be karmatic for her to get some of the same wouldn't it? She was unsure if John's choice of Gen over her counted. Not that she had expected the mage's affection.

Bryn didn't see anyone chipping away at that resolution. She was intent on never doing that sort of harm again.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-01 02:13 am UTC (link)
He shrugged. Loki had spent the majority of his life like that and sometimes, frankly, he missed it. The thought of going back to those years was unimaginable. His life was built around the family he had gained. But that did not mean that a good healthy dose of freedom - especially sexually - was not something he missed.

"There are plenty of things to enjoy without being tied down -" He smirked and waved a hand in a 'by the way'-gesture. "- and plenty to enjoy when you are tied down. A life of freedom is not a terrible road." Asgardians had always been very proper about relationships. It did not surprise him that his brother could not tolerate to be with a woman that had cheated on him. Most took commitment very seriously. He wondered if his own deviant thoughts and cravings were part of being a frost giant. After all, the blood of freaks ran through his veins.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-01 04:49 am UTC (link)
Had he just made a bondage joke? Did she want to know? A twisted part of her urged that brow to quirk. But the words didn't leave her lips. She didn't heed that image wandering around in her alcohol addled mind. The one of him nude, and making Shannon scream was enough. She didn't need more perverse thoughts that might get her eaten. She wasn't entirely sure she would survive digestion.

"This I know very well. I do not tie myself down in my world. Thor was my first attempt at monogamy since becoming a vampire." She had been sure she mentioned that. If it was a repeat she'd mark it down to the booze.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-01 05:40 am UTC (link)
When Brynhild used his own metaphor, Loki cocked a head to the side as if to say "and here I thought this is something you would be down for". He did not say it though. Instead he smirked. It said everything.

"I have usually left that path to my brother. But I have also never had a child. If you try one new thing, why not try two..." He shrugged with a casual smile. Another version of him... in the far off future... he had done things to bring about the downfall of his own child and her mother. It was not an option here.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-01 08:04 am UTC (link)
The cock of his head was enough for the image to play itself out in her head. She squealed softly and clapped her hands over her face. Though that didn't help that it was in her mind.

"You're very bad on someone that's seen you naked, is currently drunk, and has the imagination enough for those images." Bryn put on the whimpers she gave, it wasn't a horrible image. She peeped at him between her fingers, eyes narrowed just a little.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-01 08:21 am UTC (link)
He smirked, for a moment forgetting all the emotions that had built up between them. It was a compliment for him that a woman who had bedded his brother found him even remotely attractive. Thor had always stolen the show. If Thor was in the room, the attention was usually on him.

"I hope I am at least still bad on someone who is sober. I could deal with the loss of very," he joked. Oh, he had noticed the look. It had stroked his ego well enough.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-01 10:59 am UTC (link)
"I think you're trying to get me eaten." Bryn realized those were a bad choice of words seconds after she said them. Because a dragon gobbling her up was not what she pictured. Her teeth clicked together when her mouth closed.

She clasped her head in her fingers, and hummed to herself. "I am going to need a cold bath, because of you." Because any move she made toward him, be it flirtation or other wise might end badly. For her.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-02 01:05 am UTC (link)
He laughed at her unintended pun. It slowly ebbed away as a soft chuckle. Now, he would not flirt. Even for Loki there was too much history for it. But that did not mean he could not give encouragement through casual conversation.

His face twisted in playful doubt, lips stretching. "If you think that is going to take your mind off of me..." When he looked at her again, his face was pure innocent. Except for his eyes who danced with mirth and devilish intent. He was a frost giant after all... hot showers could remind you of the embrace of a mortal or one of the Aesir, cold ones, well, there was a reason they had never worked for him.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-02 06:02 am UTC (link)
Her eyes narrowed as she realized, now, that... Oh she didn't need that in her head! A whimper didn't sound in her throat then, but a groan. As her thighs shifted together, slightly. "You know, I would feel no shame in the fantasy. And if you were not a god, I would be merciless with the flirtation. Even if I had not been seen you in all your glory."

Bryn would later blame the drink on her boldness, as she widened her eyes, as she gazed up at him. She raised her knees, pushing her skirt down between her legs, so she didn't expose herself to him. Her front teeth holding onto her lower lip. "Though I don't know. I like the thought of frustrating you enough that you'd back me up against the wall." It was her turn to smirk. "But you are a god, and it would take a lot for me to get my head around that." She shrugged slightly.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-02 10:12 am UTC (link)
There was a quiver of his lips. They tugged to one side. Oh, she wanted to play, he could play. He considered for a moment if it meant he would go to far. But Thor and Bryn had long since parted ways and his own sexual desire only ever remained mild in his current form. Death and sex were nothing that went along in his body. To feel raw lust, he needed to feel the heart quicken in his chest and his blood rush towards loin. Sex remained a fond memory in this state. But that did not mean he did not enjoy the game. He always enjoyed a good game and he liked pushing boundaries just a little too much.

"Ah, now, I am known for my supportive side so let me help you out. Do you imagine it like this?" Two figures appeared to his right. Illusions. But sound and vision was enough to serve his purpose. One looked like him and the other like Bryn. The vampire was stood against the wall and a version of himself in front of her. A second later the illusions sprang into action. A growl of frustration escaped 'Loki's' lips and he pushed the illusion of the vampire against the wall, hands locked above her head and tightly secured in his own firm grasp with his right hand. He was good bit taller than her and his long black hair veiled her features as he bent down to kiss her. Body pushing against body. The god's knee finding its way between her legs and slowly pushing them open.

A second later the illusion vanished. "Or maybe you would prefer a table?" Another appeared. Similar spiel. Brynhild on the bottom. Loki on top. Desperate bodies trying to feel as much of each other as they could. Again, the illusion vanished after a few moments.

"And, of course, there are these wonderful and lovely chairs... one should not underestimate the opportunity here..." He smirked. This time he did not cast another illusion. This time he drew on the stone resting in his arms. Power pulsed through the room as a second version of himself stepped out of him. There were a few legitimate reasons to use the infinity stones. Sexual fantasies totally belonged to them if you asked Loki. His second self settled down on the arm rest and a second later he shifted into Brynhild's form. A second later Brynhild!Loki moved his leg over the seat and was straddeling his original self. The female form pushed the man beneath her further into the seat and then leaned forwards and drew the man up into the kiss. A moment later the female version turned around to the actual Brynhild and winked at her.

"Plenty of option here, you see..." he said in her voice. A second later he shifted back into himself.

"Oh, hello sexy," the god sitting on the chair said to the one leaning over him. It was all in good humour and he had far too much fun putting images into her head that she would never forget.

"Hello to you too," Loki on top said with a huge cheeky grin.

A second later he collapsed his two selves into one and it was only him sitting on the chair.

"Well, if you are ever after an adventurous time, I can recommend bedding a shapeshifter and someone who can duplicate themselves."

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-03 03:48 am UTC (link)
About two seconds into the first visual her mouth dropped open, and her fangs clicked down. Loudly. And hard. One of her hands might have drifted to her lap, but that was as far as it would go. She would behave herself, damn it. Even though that had to be the most sexually exciting visuals she'd seen in a long time. And they would definitely be something she played in her head well into the night. After paying a visit to Wheel One's red district.

When he was done, she groaned loudly. Why hide just how not that was. Bryn didn't mind the torture. "I've been with someone that can duplicate himself, and change shapes, though he never changed into a woman, or anything else, just changed his face however he saw fit. The second half of Texas." Meaning the former lover was here, on the station. "He also has piston cocks that would make the sex toy industry jealous, and robotic tentacles." And if she were a worse person, and lower than she was right that second, she would go pay Dr. Redel a visit.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-03 05:02 am UTC (link)
Oh, the god enjoyed every minute of her reaction. There was nothing better than to make someone squirm like the vampire did. His glee was slowly replaced with curiosity though. The god knew the vampire's world was... colourful. He had just never realised just how colourful it was.

"Robotic tentacles? That is a new one even for me." He did not realise that she referred to someone who was a robot through and through, instead he imagined a person half-machine, half-flesh. "Though I have to admit, he is clearly missing out. Changing your body is most of the fun." A second later, his body and face had taken on female features. The change did not only affect his body. His voice too held female notes. "There are advantages to being a lady."

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-03 10:35 am UTC (link)
Bryn nodded slowly. But she had never brought it up, and never mentioned her enjoyment of women. "There is. And you are just as lovely as a woman as you are a man."

She slowly pushed herself up to stand. One foot in front of the other, and any one would have a hard time telling she was inebriated. Those steps brought her to stand right in front of Loki. "It's a pity you're a spirit right now, because it might be worth a dragon bite to make you scream." Her eyes traveled over 'his' body, as her tongue lazily trailed over her fangs.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-09 09:50 am UTC (link)
He laughed and let her gaze travel. Oh, those compliments did not go without notice. Without their history and without his dead form, the danger she incorporated would have drawn him in. And maybe even with their history there was still an appeal... Thor's women had rarely cared for him.

"Ah, you are confident to think that it would be that way around." He smirked and glanced up at her with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-10 07:41 am UTC (link)
"Of course. I'm not a bottom when I'm with women." It was cocky, and she knew it. But he was being a tease, damnit. "I love to feel their quivering flesh around my fingers, beneath my lips... While they squirm and tell me not to stop." She slid her eyes over his lovely female figure one more time.

Bryn sucked in a breath. "But, as a spirit, have you tried to... " She quirked her eyebrows. Because she knew what fun that was, for all parties involved.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-10 08:40 am UTC (link)
He was about to tease back but then Bryn brought up something that was uncomfortable for him. He switched back. The friendliness was not gone from his voice, the teasing, however, was.

"There is no point... neither like this, nor as a true ghost..." He cocked his head to one side and looked up at her. Then he waved of the thought. "But it matters not. I can change back fast enough, just not right now." He curled up the sleeves of his left arm. Two of the infinity stones rested in his arms, the flesh around them dead and grey. Only a web of tissue was covering the gems. "They would destroy me otherwise. They destroy every living being and maybe some dead ones." He was not sure if he would ever suffer long-term consequences from their use. So far, the believed he was safe. But many have done so before him.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-10 10:49 am UTC (link)
"It's a bonding experience, and that's a point. And some of the best sex I've ever had has been on a... spiritual level. It's not flesh and flesh it's... Indescribable." She hadn't been comfortable talking about it with him when she was sober. Or with Thor. "It's not something I'd suggest to do with someone you only want to fuck. But someone who you trust, and trusts you in return." Because that Italian inventor had kept a small part of her, and always would.

But They were onto something a little more serious. "What are they? And if they're so dangerous why are they in your arm?" She didn't dare touch the flesh, not that she was turned away by his skin, more that she was repelled by the stones themselves. Concern etched in her tone. Why would he do that to himself? Bryn turned her gaze from the stones to his face, true fear for him was clear on her features.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-10 11:13 am UTC (link)
He did mull her words. There was something he could do. He could not connect to people physically but he could possess them. He gave a nod as an indication of his understanding. A token of gratitude towards the openness she showed, even in her drunken state. Probably because of her drunken state.

"They are the universe. A dimension of it. You are right to fear them." Her concern was clear. "You need a medium to combine them, otherwise you will only ever be able to use them separately. I have none besides myself and using my body gives me more control." The first part of holding them was the worst. It tore at him. So sometimes he left them in for a while longer than needed, just so he did not need to do it again. There were still things he wanted to do in Asgard. Dimensions he wanted to look at.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-11 05:55 am UTC (link)
"But what does it do to your body if it destroys life?" She knew it couldn't do anything good. That was sobering. "And why are you taking this risk?" He had a family, people who loved him. Maybe he knew something none of them knew. "You've been here longer than I have been, you should know by now there are people here that would help you shoulder whatever it is you're trying to take on by yourself." He didn't have to risk losing everything.

Bryn had to step back. She was truly worried for him. It was hard enough dealing with knowing that one of the gods she worshiped all her life was kind of dead. Stepping behind the bar she began putting ice in a glass.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-11 06:42 am UTC (link)
He could sense her worry. It was growing every minute. He shrugged. He was still new to all of this and there were not many people who would ever be concerned about him. Not many fears to thwart. "It does nothing my body does not do to itself..." he said with a grimace. It was more active, more hurtful than his own decay. A battle fought inside his body. But the result was the same. It stripped him of skin and flesh until there was almost nothing left. But it took longer to heal from the stones. They poisoned him from the insight. Yet, it was nothing he had not healed from. "As long as the they are eventually removed from my body and I am in my current form, I will heal." So the theory.

"As to why I would risk that..." He cocked his head to the side and his features turning more sentimental. "Isn't that obvious?"

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-11 10:04 am UTC (link)
"Probably under normal actual sober me circumstances it would be. While that knocked the buzz clean out of me everything else is still a little jumbled up." She wiggled her fingers at the side of her temple. After pointing to his arm in reference to 'that'. She held the ice filled glass under a tap and filled it full if ice water. She was half tempted to dump it in her own face. But instead she quickly chugged the water, only to refill the glass.

Bryn sighed after emptying the second glass half way. "Pretend I'm new here, and for whatever reason you find you trust me with that secret. And I'll smack myself in the forehead after you point out the obvious that my brain is being slow for." She had a feeling she knew his reason.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-11 10:30 am UTC (link)
Loki smiled kindly and then let out a sigh. This was not a topic he thought he ever needed to talk about. "Do you know how many friends my daughter has lost while she has been in this time? At least one a year. I've seen her grief. I've seen her despair and I've seen her lose all hope. People vanish. And while loss is part of life, no one is supposed to lose people this often, this quickly and feel this hopeless about it. Yet, no one does anything against it. No one tries to change it. I think that is one of the worst things for her. There is no hope. Maybe rightfully so. Maybe there is nothing we can do. But I have to at least try, don't I? How long till it is one of us who leaves or worse one of our children... If a day like this ever comes, it will be hard enough." The pain was unimaginable. "But it will be much worse if I had not given my best. The physical pain is easy to bear in comparison to this." There were other reasons too. But he did not mention them. There was no need. This one alone was enough.

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-12 09:47 am UTC (link)
Bryn watched him over the edge of her glass as he explained. It hurt her heart to know that he was taking on that responsibility. But she knew why he was doing it now. "That's a lot of responsibility Loki. There isn't one of us that hasn't been touched by that kind of loss." Except her daughters. She was sure that no one they had really known had vanished. But perhaps she was simply lucky? "So, if you need help I will try my damnedest to do everything I can to help you." She looked at his arm again. "Even if it's just fashioning you a hideous friendship bracelet to carry those in, just so you don't risk destroying the only body you have left."

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-13 03:57 am UTC (link)
Loki smiled again and pulled his sleeves back over his arms. "I will be fine. I promise. This is something I have to carry alone and nothing to burden yourself with." He would not let everyone else get involved. Especially not when he had only given her part of the reason. Fact was, that the stones allowed him to feel safe. They were the weapons he was killed with. Having them rest inside of him gave him power and control. He could not part from them when all that would be left was the god that died weak and friendless. Yes, he would do his best to stop whatever was happening to them. But even if he would manage, he would not give them up.

"Now, I think I have taken up enough of your time," he started as he rose to his feet. The action was pointless and yet it seemed appropriate. A devilish grin started to spread on his face once more. "I think I have given you enough... scenarios... to ponder and keep you company."

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[info]brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-13 05:59 am UTC (link)
"And at least one that will ruin the effect of cold showers for the rest of my existence." Bryn couldn't resist lightheartedly teasing him at least a little bit. The teasing grin softened though. "I promise not to be distant anymore, and I'm never hard to find." It had touched her beyond measure that he'd cared enough to come seek her out. She would add it to a long list of things that she'd never forget that he'd done.

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[info]truly_desperate
2020-06-16 03:44 am UTC (link)
"I always aim to be a good influence," he teased her back. They both knew it was hardly the truth. He gave a brief nod at her more serious talk though. "Just speak with Thor. Don't hide behind self-loathing. We all carry enough of that." It was a rare candid revelation and one he did not seek any response to. So within a second he was gone. Back to the portal so he could spent most of his remaining time in Asgard.

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