InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Stuck in the middle with you"

truly_desperate (truly_desperate) wrote in spinningcompass,
@ 2020-05-26 12:54:00

Entry tags:

brynhild, loki

Who: Loki & Bryn
Where: Bryn's club
What: We will see...
When: An hour after this
Rating: Middlish?
Open: Nope
Status: Finished
It had been good that Katherine had asked for his help before he had a chance to reply. His daughter's presence had calmed him down and her worry for him and his dark mood had painted his world in different colours. He had not talked about it and his child knew when not to ask. It had given him time to see the world from a different angle. Children did that to you. Sometimes even with their presence. Brynhild and him would always be connected. There were many relationships he could throw away and walk away from. Many without an ounce of remorse. But the vampire would forever be his niece's mother. He liked his niece. She came too much after her father for his own taste but she was a good child and a good cousin to his daughter.

So instead of unleashing his anger further or simply ignoring the reason for his anger, he used a, for him, unconventional approach. He had always disliked an open and honest conversation. It was when you lost control. But Shannon had showed him that it had not always followed with rejection and Katherine tended to always push him just a little bit further before she let him draw back into silence.

As with everyone, the stones had made him find Brynhild easily enough. The left half of his body was in skeletal form which just stopped at his cheeks and chin; he had a hard time holding onto life when emotions got the better of him. Brynhild looked a mess when he arrived. He did not need to smell the air or spot the bottles to know she had been drinking. For once, he did not comment on it.

"You are right," he said softly from where he had appeared. His voice was calm, his narrative carefully crafted. "I never thought you were good enough for him. Do you know why?"

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truly_desperate
2020-06-10 08:40 am UTC (link)

He was about to tease back but then Bryn brought up something that was uncomfortable for him. He switched back. The friendliness was not gone from his voice, the teasing, however, was.

"There is no point... neither like this, nor as a true ghost..." He cocked his head to one side and looked up at her. Then he waved of the thought. "But it matters not. I can change back fast enough, just not right now." He curled up the sleeves of his left arm. Two of the infinity stones rested in his arms, the flesh around them dead and grey. Only a web of tissue was covering the gems. "They would destroy me otherwise. They destroy every living being and maybe some dead ones." He was not sure if he would ever suffer long-term consequences from their use. So far, the believed he was safe. But many have done so before him.

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-10 10:49 am UTC (link)

"It's a bonding experience, and that's a point. And some of the best sex I've ever had has been on a... spiritual level. It's not flesh and flesh it's... Indescribable." She hadn't been comfortable talking about it with him when she was sober. Or with Thor. "It's not something I'd suggest to do with someone you only want to fuck. But someone who you trust, and trusts you in return." Because that Italian inventor had kept a small part of her, and always would.

But They were onto something a little more serious. "What are they? And if they're so dangerous why are they in your arm?" She didn't dare touch the flesh, not that she was turned away by his skin, more that she was repelled by the stones themselves. Concern etched in her tone. Why would he do that to himself? Bryn turned her gaze from the stones to his face, true fear for him was clear on her features.

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truly_desperate
2020-06-10 11:13 am UTC (link)

He did mull her words. There was something he could do. He could not connect to people physically but he could possess them. He gave a nod as an indication of his understanding. A token of gratitude towards the openness she showed, even in her drunken state. Probably because of her drunken state.

"They are the universe. A dimension of it. You are right to fear them." Her concern was clear. "You need a medium to combine them, otherwise you will only ever be able to use them separately. I have none besides myself and using my body gives me more control." The first part of holding them was the worst. It tore at him. So sometimes he left them in for a while longer than needed, just so he did not need to do it again. There were still things he wanted to do in Asgard. Dimensions he wanted to look at.

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-11 05:55 am UTC (link)

"But what does it do to your body if it destroys life?" She knew it couldn't do anything good. That was sobering. "And why are you taking this risk?" He had a family, people who loved him. Maybe he knew something none of them knew. "You've been here longer than I have been, you should know by now there are people here that would help you shoulder whatever it is you're trying to take on by yourself." He didn't have to risk losing everything.

Bryn had to step back. She was truly worried for him. It was hard enough dealing with knowing that one of the gods she worshiped all her life was kind of dead. Stepping behind the bar she began putting ice in a glass.

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truly_desperate
2020-06-11 06:42 am UTC (link)

He could sense her worry. It was growing every minute. He shrugged. He was still new to all of this and there were not many people who would ever be concerned about him. Not many fears to thwart. "It does nothing my body does not do to itself..." he said with a grimace. It was more active, more hurtful than his own decay. A battle fought inside his body. But the result was the same. It stripped him of skin and flesh until there was almost nothing left. But it took longer to heal from the stones. They poisoned him from the insight. Yet, it was nothing he had not healed from. "As long as the they are eventually removed from my body and I am in my current form, I will heal." So the theory.

"As to why I would risk that..." He cocked his head to the side and his features turning more sentimental. "Isn't that obvious?"

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-11 10:04 am UTC (link)

"Probably under normal actual sober me circumstances it would be. While that knocked the buzz clean out of me everything else is still a little jumbled up." She wiggled her fingers at the side of her temple. After pointing to his arm in reference to 'that'. She held the ice filled glass under a tap and filled it full if ice water. She was half tempted to dump it in her own face. But instead she quickly chugged the water, only to refill the glass.

Bryn sighed after emptying the second glass half way. "Pretend I'm new here, and for whatever reason you find you trust me with that secret. And I'll smack myself in the forehead after you point out the obvious that my brain is being slow for." She had a feeling she knew his reason.

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truly_desperate
2020-06-11 10:30 am UTC (link)

Loki smiled kindly and then let out a sigh. This was not a topic he thought he ever needed to talk about. "Do you know how many friends my daughter has lost while she has been in this time? At least one a year. I've seen her grief. I've seen her despair and I've seen her lose all hope. People vanish. And while loss is part of life, no one is supposed to lose people this often, this quickly and feel this hopeless about it. Yet, no one does anything against it. No one tries to change it. I think that is one of the worst things for her. There is no hope. Maybe rightfully so. Maybe there is nothing we can do. But I have to at least try, don't I? How long till it is one of us who leaves or worse one of our children... If a day like this ever comes, it will be hard enough." The pain was unimaginable. "But it will be much worse if I had not given my best. The physical pain is easy to bear in comparison to this." There were other reasons too. But he did not mention them. There was no need. This one alone was enough.

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-12 09:47 am UTC (link)

Bryn watched him over the edge of her glass as he explained. It hurt her heart to know that he was taking on that responsibility. But she knew why he was doing it now. "That's a lot of responsibility Loki. There isn't one of us that hasn't been touched by that kind of loss." Except her daughters. She was sure that no one they had really known had vanished. But perhaps she was simply lucky? "So, if you need help I will try my damnedest to do everything I can to help you." She looked at his arm again. "Even if it's just fashioning you a hideous friendship bracelet to carry those in, just so you don't risk destroying the only body you have left."

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truly_desperate
2020-06-13 03:57 am UTC (link)

Loki smiled again and pulled his sleeves back over his arms. "I will be fine. I promise. This is something I have to carry alone and nothing to burden yourself with." He would not let everyone else get involved. Especially not when he had only given her part of the reason. Fact was, that the stones allowed him to feel safe. They were the weapons he was killed with. Having them rest inside of him gave him power and control. He could not part from them when all that would be left was the god that died weak and friendless. Yes, he would do his best to stop whatever was happening to them. But even if he would manage, he would not give them up.

"Now, I think I have taken up enough of your time," he started as he rose to his feet. The action was pointless and yet it seemed appropriate. A devilish grin started to spread on his face once more. "I think I have given you enough... scenarios... to ponder and keep you company."

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-06-13 05:59 am UTC (link)

"And at least one that will ruin the effect of cold showers for the rest of my existence." Bryn couldn't resist lightheartedly teasing him at least a little bit. The teasing grin softened though. "I promise not to be distant anymore, and I'm never hard to find." It had touched her beyond measure that he'd cared enough to come seek her out. She would add it to a long list of things that she'd never forget that he'd done.

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truly_desperate
2020-06-16 03:44 am UTC (link)

"I always aim to be a good influence," he teased her back. They both knew it was hardly the truth. He gave a brief nod at her more serious talk though. "Just speak with Thor. Don't hide behind self-loathing. We all carry enough of that." It was a rare candid revelation and one he did not seek any response to. So within a second he was gone. Back to the portal so he could spent most of his remaining time in Asgard.

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