InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Kiss my asphalt."

Shannon Rogers (shannon_rogers) wrote in spinningcompass,
@ 2019-03-24 02:42:00

Entry tags:

!closed, loki, shannon rogers

Who: Shannon and Loki
Where: Her bed
What: A bad dream
When: Early morning
Rating: high for mentions of things and stuff
Open: no
Status: on going

Loki had been a still sleep companion, a cool bed parner for her overheated body. She almost had the notion that he watched her sleep more than do any himself. Though these past few days he was in someone else's body.... He thrashed rather viciously and it roused her from her sleep. Pushing a hand through her mussed hair, she slowly sat up. He was still asleep. And though it would be uncomfortable, perhaps he would be comforted by her warmth.

Shannon dragged up the covers, she knew she had to be the one to shove them down, and eased herself closer to him. Sliding her arm around his waist she found him bathed with sweat. At the same time a distressed murmur reached her ears.

She didn't know what he dreamed of, but she'd never heard him speak in his sleep. Very gently she pressed her lips to his bare shoulder. Not at all distressed that he didn't look like himself. And knowing as soon as the air conditioner kicked on that it would no doubt chill him, she tucked the covers tighter around him. Whispering softly, in effort not to wake him, but to perhaps change his dream just a little... "It's alright. I am here my king. No one will harm you." A little bit of smoke escaped her nose, just enough so that he would smell it.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-24 10:35 am UTC (link)

Loki woke up with a jolt. His nightmares of death and Thanos had expanded. Dreams he had never had had before had merged with his. A few days in and he had noticed that they were Jack's. They were horrid. Something was crawling in his mind, urging him to do things he did not want to do. He wasn't himself. It was a familiar feeling. The anger that was drawn out.

Suddenly, he was not gripping the weapon anymore. His hands were empty. He was in bed with someone talking to him. His first intuition was to crawl away. Get a distance between himself and the other person. Shannon. He let the fear drive him away. He edged to the side of the bed. The broken body of his hurting with the movement.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-25 04:19 am UTC (link)

Shannon sighed softly. Different body, same reaction. She was unsure why she kept the attempt up. She gave herself a moment to steel her resolve, and reached over her side of the bed and gathered the silk nightgown she'd discarded before giving in to sleep. Pulling it over her head she swept her mass of curly auburn hair back over her shoulder.

"It is too early Loki." A small reminder that he had not been asleep that long. She eased over to his side of the bed. Sitting on it's side giving him a good two foot clearance. "You were dreaming?" A question that she knew the obvious answer to. But thought maybe it would be best to play stupid. At least for a moment or two.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-25 07:37 am UTC (link)

He was calming down. Slowly. Steadily. The urge was vanishing. He could control himself. Loki drew up his legs and set himself up. A glance at the clock. Two am. In his body, he had slept enough but this one wasn't that way. It was weak. It needed to sleep through half of the day.

"They are not my dreams," he said distantly, speaking to the end of the bed. That they hit home was something that he did not mention.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-25 08:15 am UTC (link)

Shannon's eyes followed him, but she remained where she was. She knew not to be too affectionate. Too clingy. Even if her instinct was to go to him. This was about him, not what she need. Or wanted.

"What sort of dreams does Jack's body bring?" By all the thrashing, and the murmurs, not to mention the fact that he stood up from the bed, she knew they couldn't be good.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-25 09:06 am UTC (link)

His first instinct was to shut off, to not reveal anything about himself. But this wasn't himself. It was a mortal soul. One that belonged to a man that had disrespected him. It made it easier to reveal his secrets to the woman he shared a bed with.

He flinched as he tried to find the words. Mostly, it was anger that made him speak the truth and lie open his wounds to others. The arrival of his daughter in his life had him make more of an effort. But showing his vulnerability was still far from something Loki did regularly. Every word seemed wrong and he remained silent for a few moments. "He's hunting down his family," he said eventually. "I am unaware whether it is his past or just a fantasy.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-25 10:50 am UTC (link)

It was hard to catch the things she had grown used to seeing on Loki's face, on the man he occupied she didn't recognize some of the same minute shifts of his features. So she simply sat patiently. Wondering if he would give anything away. Or if he would leave her in silence.

Shannon almost started when he did speak. She hadn't really expected it. Her jaw dropped slightly, aghast at what he had given away. "Hunt them down? Is it too much to hope that it was to find them because they were lost?" She guessed something much darker was to take place, but she didn't want to put that on Loki. She didn't want him to think he would do harm to her or Kat.

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	truly_desperate 2019-03-26 07:07 am UTC (link)
	He gurgled a laugh. "Ah, there is little hope," he confirmed with a slight tilt of his head. He drew himself up even further upright. The intimacy of the bed made him feel too vulnerable. He just wanted to get back into his own body, be faced with his own regrets and fears than someone else's. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shannon_rogers 2019-03-26 09:09 am UTC (link)
	"His dreams haunt you." It was a statement. Not a question. The question was, how did she comfort him? She could practically pick up his unease crawling over his skin. Or the borrowed skin of Jack. "Because you have just escaped them? Their hold will vanish. Would you like tea? Or something else?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

truly_desperate
2019-03-26 09:22 am UTC (link)

If it had been a question, he had denied it. But it was not and she left him no time to react. It made him tense. It made him annoyed. But it was also a relief for deep down he knew it to be true.

"I do not wish to remain here. The time for sleep has passed." He got up. It was his sort of yes. He shuffled out of bed and walked over to the huge wardrobe. Inhabiting this body was already disgrace enough, he did not need to underline it by staying in his sleep attire.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-27 03:38 am UTC (link)

"Am I always to think you nothing but stone? Is that how you want it? That you feel nothing?" Shannon said in exasperation, because she had seen him tense up. Her voice low, and without the bite of anger.

But she didn't dress when she stood in the bed and hopped down. Instead she grabbed the robe from the back of the bathroom door and slipped it on, tying the sash around her middle. She would prepare him tea. Of course she would. Her feet in a pair of slippers stashed just under the edge of the bed.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-27 07:44 am UTC (link)

He tensed at her words. All he could hear was the disappointment. He was not what she wanted him to be. He would always need to compare to the version of himself she had let into her life. "Is that how you see me?" he asked quietly before turning towards the wardrobe and picking a shirt to pull over his top. Everything he wore in this body was baggy. He wanted to hide its imperfections as much as he could.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-27 08:29 am UTC (link)

"No it's not. But whenever I notice, whenever I ask after you, you... do that." She thrust her hand at how stiff he stood. "Except it's more pronounced now because your not in your body. Would you rather me not notice when something's wrong?" Or when it wasn't wrong. When it was right. When he seemed at least a little happy? "Just use you for sex, roll over and go to sleep?" That wasn't something she'd be able to do. She cared about him. Probably foolishly.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-27 09:27 am UTC (link)

His nostrils flared at the notion of being used. It was ever so slightly. He had kept relations like this, purely instrumental ones to get him to where he wanted to be. Sometimes there was joy to be found in them, more often than not there was none.

"What purpose would it serve to point out the obvious? I dislike this body. There... Did it bring my own back? No," he said as he exchanged his pyjamas for trousers.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-27 11:14 am UTC (link)

"No it didn't. But it's called sharing. I hear it makes people grow closer, and lightens your load at the same time. The dreams for instance, sometimes, not always, telling them outloud shines the light on them, and they don't return."

Shannon knew better not to be affectionate. Even if she did want to go to him. Either he'd be insulted or he would rebuff her. Yet again. "Is this the first time you've been changed with someone else?"

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truly_desperate
2019-03-27 10:06 pm UTC (link)

That was not how he had grown up. His family had been clouded with lies. His father had erased part of their history and the scars still ran deep. He did not want to part with the tradition. Uncovering is vulnerability and his mistakes seemed like a horrendous idea. Yet, he had a family now. He had a child to guide. Maybe more in the future.

"Of course not. Have you forgotten Eggsy?" He had liked the boy. It was a shame he was not around anymore.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-28 04:28 am UTC (link)

"No, I haven't. My intent was to remind you. You weren't, or didn't seem, as bothered to be Eggsy, given that he was also female at the time, as you are Jack. And he was just as mortal, and midgardian." Shannon knew there was something else to it. Was it Jack's age? She wasn't trying to open the flood gates, but a little drip, a trickle. A small something.

She opened the door and held it for him. Doubting that they would run into anyone up at this hour. And she was intent on making him tea.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-28 05:10 am UTC (link)

He glanced at her unimpressed. "There is a huge difference between these bodies," he explained dismissively as he passed through the door. And he had not been in the hunt back then. He did not have this caved in feeling where he could almost feel Thanos's breath on his neck. His hand wandered towards it and brushed lightly against his own. The memory of his fingers choking him would never go away.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-28 07:34 am UTC (link)

"Of course there is, you're in a middle aged man, and Eggsy was a twenty something young woman. You can't get more different. The only likeness would be their mortality and earth." Shannon dropped her voice just a little, so that it wouldn't carry through any of the doors between them and the kitchen. Following shortly behind him. She didn't expect anyone to be up.

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	truly_desperate 2019-03-28 07:53 am UTC (link)
	"Then you have your answer," he said shortly as he followed her. Whatever she would choose that to be. If he let her come up with an answer, maybe the crossfire would cease. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shannon_rogers
2019-03-28 10:20 am UTC (link)

Something told her that wasn't all. That wasn't his only reason for it bothering him so. But she let it drop. For now. "I'll fix you some camomile and nettle leaf tea then. That should sooth any aches you have, and help you get back to sleep." Because why would dreams of a man he didn't seem to care for, hunting his family, and a body that was old, keep him from sleep.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-28 10:38 am UTC (link)

Loki was grateful for the break. He already felt vulnerable in this body. It was impossible to hold onto any sense of strength when this state was as good as it would ever get. Eggsy's young form had enabled the illusion of eternal youth. But in this it was a steep climb to the bottom.

He was quiet for a while as he watched her. "I do not know how you humans can live like this. This body has seen short of a century and it is dying already." He had been surprised at how much it had bothered Jack. Why did they even care to make plans?

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-28 11:56 am UTC (link)

When they had made it into the kitchen she set the kettle on the stove, after filling it full of water, and set about setting up a steeper full of the concoction she'd mentioned. "To be honest, we're dying from our first breath. That one has seen a rougher tumble through life than some do." She'd read the books. Often she didn't care if the people in it were there or not. She didn't interact with most. "He was supposed to die before he reached thirty."

Shannon retrieved one of the frozen honey spoons she'd made so that it would make the tea easier to drink. "I'm not sure why he's here at sixty, but like most I'm sure he is grateful for the pain to remind him he is still alive, and no doubt has a few different pills that help alleviate the aches." She set one of her favorite mugs down on the counter, and stuck the spoon inside, with the steeper. Now she just had to wait for the water.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-28 07:52 pm UTC (link)

The revelation of Jack's early death did not come as a surprise to Loki. He was unaware that it was bound to the dreams and memories he was experiencing or rooted in the knowledge that there were many different versions of a universe out there. There was no set course for a given person or universe. But he would not lecture Shannon on her misconception.

"Thirty is hardly a whole life," he mentioned, forgetting the fact that the woman in front of him was no older. "It is a few breaths." He wave a hand dismissively. "They let their Empires be led by children." He had seen the young Kings on their throne. Half the age Katherine was.

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shannon_rogers
2019-03-29 07:40 am UTC (link)

"No it's not. But I don't think people plan to die that soon." She knew she hadn't. She had planned to see her daughter thrive and grow. But if they were in their own times, if she had not come back, her days would be numbered. She thought for a second about bringing up what she and Katherine had talked about. But without the suppress their daughters repressed memory of it, she thought better of it.

"But he died to save his family, in the book. I would like to know how he ended up here, now. And how much it changed things." She collected the kettle, which was near the whistle point, and ran it over the honeyed spoon and the tea steeper.

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truly_desperate
2019-03-29 08:12 am UTC (link)

Loki would have answered and told her about how he thought a century was just as short. But Shannon had stirred the the conversation back to a previous topic. Her interest in Jack was higher than Loki enjoyed it to be.

"I care not for the differences between the universes of mortals," he waved a hand and slouched back in his seat. He already knew more about the man's life what he liked to know. It was unsettling. The life the mortal had let was one of hardship with parts that reminded him too much of his own. "He came here like most others came here." Amelia had seen to it.

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