InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Nimins, Belly."

Ashley Ellenore Darcy (ashleysully) wrote in spinningcompass,
@ 2018-08-11 01:38:00

Entry tags:

fitzwilliam darcy, ~ash sully

Who: Ashley and Mr Darcy
Where: His apartment
What: Talking
When: Saturday after breakfast
Rating: TBD
Open: Nope
Status: Ongoing
Ashley wasn't as nervous as she thought she'd be. It was a very important conversation they were about to have but she felt confident in the outcome. She was mostly nervous for showing up on his doorstep without any warning. No letter, no phone call, just a knock on the door.

She went only slightly conservative with her outfit. Of course the shirt was only revealing if she removed her jacket. She fully planned to keep the jacket on so he wouldn't be distracted. She also decided to go with her four inch red heels making her only 4 inches shorter than him rather than the usual 8. She wasn't sure why she needed that extra height. Especially since they would most likely be sitting down for most of the conversation.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. No matter what happened, she was going to be okay. With that thought in mind, she knocked on his door.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 03:03 pm UTC (link)

It was still a little difficult to get his thoughts in order with her still on his lap, but it was better than just mindlessly going with it against his better judgement. He’d hate himself later if he didn’t allow himself a moment to engage his brain. He took a couple of breaths, and sort of examined her face for a moment. There didn’t seem to be any shame or fear or hint of regret there.

“I’m.... told that this is generally the way things progress now, but... it’s...” he sighed, he wasn’t sure what it was exactly. “When I say it feels wrong, I don’t mean you and me, but just the order of things.”

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 03:14 pm UTC (link)

She gave him another quick kiss and then she did settle on the couch next to him. She took one of his hands and laced their fingers together, resting her head on his shoulder.

"We did get a little carried away." She chuckled. "And for the record, how things progress is entirely up to the two people involved and them only. There isn't any 'normally' when it comes to relationships."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 03:23 pm UTC (link)

Darcy breathed something of a sigh of relief when she moved next to him. She was far too difficult to resist, and when she was right in his lap none of his thoughts were pure.

“Thank you,” he said, grateful for the space for the moment. He curled his fingers with hers, and settled back beside her. He thought about what she had to say about, and then nodded a little. That was exactly it. Was he going to repress what he really wanted because of her mother? But by the same token... if he proposed right now, and she said yes, she’d surely want to tell her mother right away, and he didn’t want her to be surprised by a negative reaction.

“What makes you most comfortable?” he asked after a moment.

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	ashleysully 2018-08-12 03:28 pm UTC (link)
	She chuckled softly and squeezed his hand a little bit. "It depends what you mean." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 03:43 pm UTC (link)

What did he mean? There was a question. He was apparently trying to propose without actually having to take the risk of proposing first.

He shifted a little where he sat, turning so that he was facing her more directly. “I am struggling, I am fighting against my own better judgement. I should have proposed before now, and I’m not delaying because I don’t want to, I really want to. I’m delaying because I don’t know if it will make you very uncomfortable, maybe you would prefer to do things your way. It’s just that way makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll get used it, in time. Right now it feels... backwards.”

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 03:52 pm UTC (link)

Ashley shifted when he did, but she didn't let go of his hand. It took a second for her brain to catch up to what he was saying. He wanted to marry her. She closed her eyes for a moment and didn't try to hide the smile that was slowly turning into a grin. Her heart was fluttering in her chest. After a second, she looked him in the eye.

"As I said, how things progress is entirely up to us. And I know that a lot more has gone on without a proposal than you're comfortable with." She looked down a moment. "And....I wouldn't be uncomfortable with a proposal, were one to be offered." She cleared her throat, looking up at him through her lashes. "But there would have to be some discussion about the length of the engagement."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 06:08 pm UTC (link)

Her smile was beautiful, perfect. He could observe how it was lighting up her face and there was no hint of embarrassment or disgust in it at all. Quite the opposite. She looked so happy.

“I would not want you to agree just to make me comfortable,” he said after a moment. “But there is perhaps also a limit to how much I should consent to for your comfort. As much as I am willing to adjust, I do not want to risk losing my sense of... self worth, I hope that makes sense without insult,” he tried his best to explain to her.

“You would prefer a longer engagement, I think?”

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 06:22 pm UTC (link)

"I understand completely. You want an acceptance to be completely genuine. And I shouldn't expect you to change any more than you expect it of me." She smiled. "Of course...were an offer to be made, acceptance wouldn't be strictly for your benefit." She smirked a little and then nodded at his question.

"Maybe not as long as most, but definitely a couple of months. I know in your time marriages tended to fall fairly quickly after proposal." She smiled a little. "Some people have been known, in modern times, to wait years between engagement and marriage. Though I don't plan to wait that long." Sje chuckled a little and squeezed his hand.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 07:34 pm UTC (link)

Ashley's response was very reassuring, and very pleasing to hear. A smile was playing on his lips too, and he gave her a nod of understanding. "Well, good. I wouldn't want to be so awfully selfish about it," he insisted, the smile threatening to become more of a grin now.

His heart was racing; she was actually talking about it, she wasn't offended or upset, she seemed genuinely happy about the prospect. "Then you, and no one else, shall name the date," he told her, giving her hand a squeeze in return. "If I were to ask, I mean, of course," he added with a chuckle.

"One thing more..." he said, shifting to take both hands now, his expression turning more serious. "Your mother. It has been made very clear that she will not be giving her approval. She also made it very clear that you are a consenting adult and that you can do as you wish. I mention it, though, because I would not wish to cause damage to your relationship with your mother. And also, perhaps... you may expect a happier reaction, and I don't want it to be a bad surprise when it is not received."

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 07:42 pm UTC (link)

"Selfish is not a word I would use to describe you." She smiled.

"If you were to ask." She chuckled softly, then she noticed the change in tone. It didn't really surprise her that her mother was against a speedy engagement. She nodded.

"I appreciate your concern for my relationship with my mother. Times have quite changed in that while people advance quickly in their physical relationships, talk of marriage sometimes waits years. It's backwards for you, I know." She sighed softly.

"I think, were you to ask." She smirked briefly. "That perhaps for now it would be our secret. Just for now. And then when the time came for us to be married....we could announce the engagement shortly beforehand." She looked down at their hands as she started to gently move her thumbs along his knuckles.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 08:11 pm UTC (link)

"Yes, I have been... told," he said softly, really not wanting to dwell on how terribly that entire conversation had gone. He had not known that his outrage at the concept of modern relationships would be so entirely offensive to her mother.

"It is..." he agreed. "Let me be clear. I know things have progressed a little quickly, and perhaps you might be mistaken in thinking that I would feel that morally I have to propose," he told her. "I mean, I do feel that, but it is far from the true motive. I am from a place where you do not begin a familiar relationship until you are prepared to commit to that person. I would not have.. held your hand, or kissed you, or..." he paused, just to give her a loving smile for a moment. "I mean to say, I would never toy with your heart, my dear Ashley."

"Our secret. No one else needs to know just yet," he agreed, and gave her hands a little squeeze. "Thank you. For answering all of my questions. Well. All of them so far. You must excuse me for a moment," he told her, before gently letting go of her hands. He stood up a little shakily, gave her a little bow, and left the room just for the moment.

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 08:16 pm UTC (link)

"I know you would never do that." She smiled. Even with their fight she never really doubted his feelings for her. Well, not never but very briefly and that was quickly resolved.

When he got up and left the room she did a silent little happy dance, though she made sure to contain herself quickly. She didn't want him to see her being completely ridiculous just yet.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 08:45 pm UTC (link)

Darcy headed into the bedroom, and once he was there he took a moment to collect himself. His heart was racing with adrenaline, and he realised suddenly that his hands were trembling. When he had left her mother's ship, he had been quite certain that he would never even be permitted to speak to Ashley again. How had it all fallen back into place so easily? Maybe that was how you knew it was right. When it was easy, it didn't need forcing.

Bobby had told him about some of the more modern expectations of a proposal, but considering he really hadn't expected the conversation to go this way today, he hadn't gone looking for a ring yet. So he picked up the signet ring that he had been wearing on his arrival. It would do as a placeholder.

After a couple of deep, calming breaths, he walked back out feeling his knees trembling a little.

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	ashleysully 2018-08-12 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	Ashley was trying very hard to look casual but she was almost certain she was failing. She felt like one of those cartoon characters with her heart literally beating out if her chest. She didn't say anything, she just smiled at him when he returned. She didn't want to risk saying the wrong thing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 09:11 pm UTC (link)

Darcy was ridiculously nervous, and it had to be the silliest thing ever considering they had already talked about it, and he already knew her answer. Still, he wanted to get this right for her.

He smiled back at her, took a moment to collect himself, and then did exactly what Bobby had suggested and he got down on one knee in front of her. He hoped to God that hadn't been some sort of joke of his, or he was going to look very ridiculous right now.

"Miss Sully... Ashley... I love you," he started. "I don't have a ring- well, I do, I have this ring," he told her, holding out the ring he'd just retrieved. "If it's a secret, you can keep it... on a different finger, or in your pocket, or... and I can get you a better one, one you have chosen, if..." he smiled, took a breath, stopped himself from continuing to just ramble on and not get to the point. "Ashley, will you marry me?"

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 09:17 pm UTC (link)

Even though she knew what was coming her heart nearly burst when he got down on one knee in front if her. Abd the more he spoke, the more she smiled but there was nothing but pure affection behind her expression.

She did gasp softly when she looked at the ring. She knew what that ring meant and what it said that he was willing to let her wear it, even temporarily. And then it took a moment for her brain to catch up and she smiled.

"Yes, I will." She held out a trembling hand. She was already thinking about a chain she could put it on so she could wear it around her neck.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 09:33 pm UTC (link)

Darcy had already known that she was going to say yes, but he almost hadn't dared to believe it until she had absolutely accepted him. Suddenly he couldn't stop smiling. He was so happy that for a moment he was quite worried that he might start crying with joy.

Somehow, he just about managed to keep it together. He took her hand, unsure if the ring would fit on any finger at all, but he gave it a try. It slipped on easily to her ring finger, as if he'd bought it to size. He gave her a slightly surprised look, and then he couldn't hold himself back any longer. He went back to her side again, and cupped her face in his palms. "You have made me happier than I could ever have imagined," he told her softly, and then pressed another kiss to her lips.

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	ashleysully 2018-08-12 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	Ashley was also surprised when the ring fit perfectly. It was as if it was meant to be. She kissed back and wrapped her arms around him. She poured everything she felt into that kiss. The love and the happiness and the excitement. It was the perfect moment. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 09:57 pm UTC (link)

Any inhibition or doubt that had been present in his earlier kiss was all vanished. He kissed her now without any hint of shame on it, his fingers tangling in bright curls as he pulled her in close. None of the rest of it mattered in that moment. The differences in their eras, the family dynamic, the space station... none of it. It was just them, together in their love.

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	ashleysully 2018-08-12 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	Ashley gripped his shirt and tried to pull him closer. She wanted him so desperately. She allowed herself, this time, to moan softly into the kiss. Nothing else mattered just then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 10:22 pm UTC (link)

Darcy let her pull him closer, pressing up against her as best as he could given their current angle. Her moan sent a shiver down his back, and he found himself in a bit of a moral dilemma. It was the typical devil and angel on his shoulders scenario, with one side telling him that surely he had the self-control to wait, especially now that he was certain to count on a wedding night to follow. The other side agreed - a wedding night will follow, so what did it matter? If she ends up pregnant, marry quicker, it's all the same.

He wished he could tell them to shut up, but shouting at your own conscience in the middle of a kiss was generally considered oddball behaviour.

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	ashleysully 2018-08-12 10:28 pm UTC (link)
	Ashley eventually broke the kiss, but she barely moved. Her face mere millimeters from his. She kept her eyes closed and just let herself breathe. She kept the grip on his shirt. "We should ..um...we should..." Fuck she couldn't get her brain to work. What had she been going to say? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 10:36 pm UTC (link)

Darcy gentled loosened his grasp, staying quite close as they caught some air again. When Ashley started speaking, Darcy's only interpretation of her words could be that she thought that should stop. Stop was almost certainly the missing word, and so there was the deciding vote.

"Yes, we should," he agreed, pulling back just a little bit more to give her some space to breathe.

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ashleysully
2018-08-12 10:55 pm UTC (link)

Ashley nodded. Yes, that had to be it. She moved her hands around to lay on his chest as she looked into his eyes. "There's plenty of time for that." She chuckled. A sudden thought struck her and her eyes went wide.

"Shit. I just realized I never asked you about your....experience level." She made a face. That was horrible. She shook her head. "I just assumed....and I mean those kisses...." She sighed wistfully.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-12 11:23 pm UTC (link)

Darcy actually felt a little relieved when she seemed to back down a little. He definitely didn't trust himself with her, and while it was true that no one needed to know, and they could make it all right in a heartbeat, he didn't want to start thing on a sour note. He wasn't even supposed to be kissing her like that - so perhaps that was his meeting halfway. He had the feeling that halfway point was going to get pretty fluid and harder to define as time went on.

He blinked in surprise at her cursing - he'd have to get used to that. And then there was her question, and it took him a second to understand her meaning.

"Oh. Um. Limited," he responded, once he'd figured it out. "I am not a virgin, but... it was not like this," he explained as best he could without going into unnecessary detail.