InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "mock mock mockity mock"

00.06 Ben Hargreeves (undeadhorror) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2019-12-15 16:52:00

Entry tags:

active: five hargreeves, active: hugo weasley, active: tony stark

So. Does someone want to do something tonight?

[Five, Klaus, Darcy, Tony & Cisco]
I'm really bad at fitting in with people. You guys are really good with people... so what can I do to be better at people?

I just feel like I get really weird and awkward with people and I talk to a few people my age but I just.... kinda feel like I'm on the outskirts of everything.

[Vanya]

Sooo. I need to talk to you. Sort of. About Girl stuff.

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Ben | Five

jumps
2019-12-15 11:05 pm UTC (link)

Want to know a secret? Lots of us experience that. Including me.

I think it's a lot of trial and error. You have to, at least to a point, put yourself out there. You have to reach out and try to talk to people. Maybe try a few times with some people because not everyone immediately clicks. And if you don't find you click with some people, that's okay. I think it comes down to being willing to say hi and willing to try to talk to people. Even something random like complimenting someone on an outfit or asking for help or saying you enjoy a book they're reading or something.

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	Ben \| Five undeadhorror 2019-12-15 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	Everyone notices you, Five. Okay. Yeah. I'm trying. It's just hard. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Ben | Five

jumps
2019-12-16 12:23 am UTC (link)

~~Noticing and liking aren't the same.~~

What can I say? When I want attention, I ensure I get it. Sometimes you got to speak up. Or stab a table.

It is. And it's okay. You don't have to do more than you're comfortable with. Small steps outside your comfort zone are still steps. You could try making little goals for yourself. "Today I'll say hi to someone new." "Today I'll compliment three random people on something they're wearing." "Today when I get coffee, I'll ask the barista how her day's going."

Additionally, asking questions can be helpful. Especially questions that require more than a "yes" or "no" answer. They keep the conversation going, and you get to know about the other person or people, and you can contribute with your own input if it's something you know. And taking a class outside of school could be good, too. You're enjoying photography. I bet we could find a photography class outside of school or a club, or you could even start a photography club to meet others. Or a book club (which I tried, but it fell apart before it started). Or a movie club to watch and discuss movies. Or anything else that interests you. That way, if nothing else, you're going in with people who have at least one thing in common with you. So it's a start.

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Ben | Five

undeadhorror
2019-12-16 01:17 am UTC (link)

I feel like i would some how miss the table.

Okay. But like... How do I make people like me? Cause most of the time I feel like I do do these things and people just look at me like I'm weird, because I am.

A photography club would be cool. I jokingly joined a Society for the Advancement of Secondary Survivalism.... basically its just a bunch of people who die when they go home. It's a little awkward, but at least we're funny?

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Ben | Five

jumps
2019-12-16 02:36 am UTC (link)

Don't stab tables. But you can find a way to make your presence known in a way that's uniquely you.

Short of mind control, I don't think there's any real way to make people like you. You can pretend to be what you think they want, but that seems exhausting, and you're being fake. You risk being found out and losing people for lying and faking. As cliche as it is, your best bet is to be you. Like Darcy said, let your freak flag fly. You're weird, but so am I. Our whole family is weird. I'm pretty sure Diego's brand of weird includes whispering sweet nothings to his knives as he lovingly caresses them while cleaning them. I can't say for sure that I've caught him doing just that, but I won't deny it if it ever comes up.

And not just our family. Everyone's weird. Anyone who says otherwise is in denial or lying. It's just a matter of what you're weird about.

Other than being yourself, just trying to talk to people. Reaching out a bit. Inviting people out (like you did in this post). Being open to people and new opportunities. And remember that there's a good chance others are just as bad at this whole being around people thing as you feel you are. And it's okay.

And breathing helps, too. Remember to breathe.

Hey, it's something! If you think you all are funny, that's what matters. And if you like the people in the group.

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