InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "How old are you really?"

Lily Evans (just_lily) wrote in silverage,
@ 2011-08-08 19:29:00

Entry tags:

!log, lily evans, sirius black

Misery
Who: Lily, Sirius
What: Sulking, reflecting, generally being angsty
When: Monday night
Where: her room in the Welcome Center
Rating: Lowish
Status: Complete

Well, that had gone all to hell, but she wasn't sure what else she'd been expecting. She'd forgotten she'd never told Sirius that Severus was here, and she had no idea if Remus had or not. Still, if she never had a conversation like that ever again it would be too soon.

She'd made good on her promise not to come back, and on the one of taking a walk. She'd stalked aimlessly around the city until she'd burned off the worst of her rage -- though that rage was actually a combination of several other emotions that were most easily expressed as rage. She was pissed at both of them, and at herself, because she really hadn't meant to unleash the news like that. She'd thought about tearing the note down afterward, but had instead opted to leave it where it was. If nothing else, Remus could read it and have an idea of why everyone was in the moods and places they were.

After stopping to eat at a diner, she assessed her mental state to ensure she was more or less sound before heading back to her room. Not quite there yet, she ordered a second round of desert and nursed that for a bit longer. After that, she was just tired, and she still had four more days of work ahead of her.

She had no idea where she stood with them, and she hated being on shaky ground. She reasoned Sirius would be around eventually and they'd apologize and everything would be all right again. This wasn't the first time they'd done this to each other, and Lily knew it wouldn't be the last. They were both entirely too hot-headed to engage in discussions. They fought. The only reason she wasn't sporting any bruises or burns right now was because they'd been separated by two blocks and several buildings. Otherwise, she had no doubt they would've had their wands out on each other.

Severus though ... she didn't know. He'd seemed softer at the end of it, but she still had no idea what decision she was being accused of. Living with Sirius? She couldn't be friends with both of them? Not that she imagined she was friends with Severus, but she'd hoped things would go in that direction. Now, she had no idea if that was a dead horse or just an extremely lame one. Was there a hope of it, or not so long as Sirius was around? She didn't think there were any plans to change their intended living arrangements, but she guessed she'd see what Sirius had to say about that.

When Lily finally made it back to the welcome center, exhausted and drained, she trudged up to her room. She flicked her wand out to check and make sure Sirius wasn't inside before she let herself in. She dropped her bag by the door and made it as far as the couch before she flopped down. She stared vacantly at the ceiling and sighed. She made a mental list of things she had to do, and she promised herself she'd get up and do those things. Soon. In a moment. She just needed to lay here and do nothing for a bit.

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just_lily
2011-08-12 03:36 am UTC (link)

"I don't think he'd kill me. Or let me die." If the notes had been true, and she wasn't honestly sure -- but he had no reason to lie about trying to save her -- then she didn't think Severus was any danger to her. The only danger would be getting caught in the crossfire if Sirius provoked him.

She could also understand Sirius' stance on the matter. She wondered a little if James had never started in on Severus if he even would have reached Sirius' radar.

It was, she decided, nothing she wanted to think about tonight. Or ever, but she had no doubt it would come up again and again as long as she kept in contact with both of them.

"Having any luck on the job front?" She asked. It was a blatant conversation change, and she trusted him to get the message: conversation over.

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the_grim
2011-08-13 06:20 am UTC (link)

He shook his head, frustrated that she seemed to be under the impression that just because she thought something about Severus, that made it true. Well, he'd thought that Pete was going to keep their secret. Lot of good thinking did. Since the whole point of coming back here tonight was to patch things up and not to get into another fight ten minutes after their unspoken apology, he clenched his jaw as he held back the words.

Maybe he'd bring it up tomorrow when it wasn't so fresh or in a couple days when he had another fight in him. Anyway, she was so damn stubborn, he'd probably argue her right into Snape's clutches if he pushed at it any more tonight.

It was also difficult not to want to get the last word. Even if he'd been about to change the subject himself, the fact that she did it was annoying. So while he fought valiantly to be a grown up in this situation, he was quiet a little longer than her question actually warranted before managing to answer.

"Found a place that fixes up cars. Thought I might give that a go. It's about the only useful Muggle skill I've got."

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just_lily
2011-08-13 06:26 am UTC (link)

"Cars," she repeated. She'd known about the bike, and she supposed it wasn't such a stretch to graduate up to cars. So she nodded. "You should look into that, then," she encouraged. They certainly couldn't afford a place if she was the only one working, and she was very interested in affording a nice place.

Or making them share a room. Honestly, she could go either way there, but she really was a little concerned about the matter of them bringing home overnight guests. Not that she imagined it was an immediate concern, but it was likely to be an eventual one (at least for Sirius), if they were stuck here long enough.

The longer she was here, the less likely she thought it was they'd get home. "What about ... deliveries? Paper deliveries or take-away. If working on cars doesn't pan out, maybe driving one will." Granted, therein came the issue of acquiring one, but ... well, he could start with a motorbike maybe and work up from there.

"We'll find something," she said as she rested her cheek on her crossed arms, her eyes closing. She should shower, and go to bed she knew, but the idea of moving was exhausting.

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the_grim
2011-08-13 06:58 am UTC (link)

"Cars," Sirius echoed. If he had a choice, he'd rather only work on bikes, but he hadn't found a place that specialized. Maybe one existed and he just hadn't spotted it yet. "Lots of metal. Four wheels. You've seen them. You know they drive on the wrong side of the road here?"

He considered the delivery idea and supposed it would do in a pinch. It wasn't his first choice, however. He wasn't sure he'd have the privilege of being choosy for too long, but he'd see.

"If you're going to fall asleep there, I'm going to go sleep in your bed," he threatened. He would, too ... well, maybe not tonight when she still might be inclined to hex him.

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just_lily
2011-08-13 07:05 am UTC (link)

"Oi, smartass. You aren't out of the doghouse yet. I'd mind your barks if I were you. And it's not wrong, it's just ... different." Though it did seem wrong to her as well.

Lily sighed and managed to unwind herself from the chair, gaining her feet slowly. "You would not. You'd be scared of what I'd do to you in your sleep. You can have the couch, bad dog."

She rolled her shoulders and stretched, and was glad she'd eaten earlier. She thought she'd just try to get up early and shower before work; she was too drained to manage it now. "See you in the morning, yeah?" If she was lucky ... there'd be some word in the morning that James had arrived. She just ... didn't think they were that lucky.

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the_grim
2011-08-13 07:39 pm UTC (link)

"Am I ever out of the doghouse?" Sirius asked doubtfully, a little smile briefly curving his lips. He watched her slowly manage to stand up as if he wasn't sure she was actually going to make it.

Curious what she would really do to him if he was sleeping in her bed, he thought maybe he'd curl up there as a dog some evening before she got home from work.

"Sleep well, Evans."

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just_lily
2011-08-13 08:00 pm UTC (link)

Lily gave him a look that told him just what she thought of that question before she shook her head slightly. "Every once in a while," she amended before she lifted her hand in a wave tot head off to her room. She'd sleep, and surely things would look better in the morning.

She did manage to strip out of her clothes before she flopped down into her bed, her eyes closing as soon as she hit the pillow. Today had been exhausting; tomorrow couldn't be any worse.

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