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Tweak says, "RYU GA WAGA TEKI O KURAU!!!"

Sirius Black (the_grim) wrote in silverage,
@ 2011-08-05 08:57:00

Entry tags:

!log, remus lupin, sirius black

Who: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin
When: Thursday, after Remus' bulletin board post.
Where: Lily's room at the welcome center
What: Sirius and Remus talk about bad things
Rating/status: Language? / Complete

Yesterday had been emotionally exhausting and he didn't expect today to be any better. He was both looking forward to seeing Remus and dreading it, the conflicting emotions taking turns over which one was most prominent before flip flopping. While Lily hadn't blamed him, it had still been heartbreaking to see the look in her eyes when he told her what had happened, and he blamed himself enough that it didn't really matter what anyone else thought. Now he had to break it to Remus and he was pacing Lily's room, full of nervous anticipation.

He'd been trying to distract himself, but there wasn't much here to take his mind off things. Lily had gone to work, he couldn't think about James, he had to tell Remus he'd gotten their best mates killed and that Pete had betrayed them. The best he could do at this point was think about getting a job and while he wasn't completely adverse to the idea, he wasn't sure where to start or what he was even qualified for. Maybe he could fix motorbikes; that could actually be enjoyable and he decided he would look into that.

Hell, maybe he could transfigure paper into Muggle money. A faint smirk touched his lips and he thought he'd run that by Remus and see what his rational friend thought of the idea.

Restlessly, he let himself out of Lily's room and then leaned his shoulders back against the closed door. Grey eyes flicked up and down the hallway, and he casually crossed his arms just below his chest as he waited with feigned patience for Remus to show up.

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tufty
2011-08-08 01:28 am UTC (link)

Remus wanted to laugh, and he might have started to chuckle weakly -- but right now, the thought of their powerful foursome was nothing but a painful memory. Sirius was right, when has there ever been anything they couldn't do? Homework, cutting classes, married life, missions, they had all pulled through just fine but they had always done it together -- with Peter. The rat may not have been of much help but he was still with them.

He sought comfort from the hand on his shoulder, wanting to believe Sirius who always had all the confidence in the world but scared that Sirius won't be right this time and he would be caught hoping for a foolish miracle. It was a sticky decision, he didn't know what he should do but he knew that he should move on from it...for now.

Sniffling, he brought his head up and stared at the damage he had done with his hands over his nose and mouth, wand pointing away from he or Sirius. He nodded...for the sake of nodding.

"...Lily is going to kill me," he tried for a cheap joke, even trying a breathy laughter, before he sighed and dipped his head again, letting his forehead rest on the back of his hands. "Peter, I don't understand...why..." He didn't understand many things.

He turned to Sirius in his slouched form. "Where is he?" he asked in a whisper.

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the_grim
2011-08-08 03:12 am UTC (link)

Sirius looked towards Remus' handiwork and shook his head dismissively, a half smirk slightly curving his lips. "She won't. Me, she'd kill. You, she'll just be concerned about." He slid his hand into Remus' hair to ruffle it, but moved it back to the other man's shoulder when the topic shifted back to Peter.

"Dunno. Was on my way to find him when I wound up here instead." He furrowed his brow, looking at the hole in the wall Remus had made without really seeing it. If Peter showed up here, Sirius was going to kill him. He didn't care if Pete was from a time before he turned on them; he didn't think it mattered. Which made him wonder what happened if someone from another time died here. Were they just dead everywhere? Would it somehow get them back home?

He wasn't sure voicing that curiosity to Remus right after telling him about James and Lily's death was the best idea ever so he kept it to himself, huffing out a sigh.

"This is a bloody mess, Moony." Understatement of all time.

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tufty
2011-08-08 04:43 am UTC (link)

Remus let out a laugh. It was a messy kind of laugh -- weak and full of air, scattered and he looked sad as he pulled his head back and let it hit whatever was behind it, laughing at the ceiling. Tears might have streamed down his cheeks but he didn't deny them. Not in front of Sirius, he didn't need to.

"I'll," he grunted as he somehow pulled himself forward while managing to stay in his spot just the same, "clean it up." He was sure that the crevice he'd done wasn't the only thing that was a mess, everything was. But it was, at least, the mess he could do something about.

He dragged himself to his feet and then to the carving, sighing through his nose as his eyes flew to the many tiny debris he had created and the gaping injury in front of him. It took him a moment to lift his wand and direct a quiet spell to the center of the hole where the rocks he had undone began flying back to patch it up.

"Padfoot," he said a little later, in a soft voice still, as he shuffled and turned to look at the brunet. "You said...Harry's all right...didn't you?" He didn't want to believe in what was no longer true anymore. He knew Harry had survived but he wasn't sure he heard right so he didn't want to sound sure. "Where is he?"

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the_grim
2011-08-08 06:01 pm UTC (link)

Sirius climbed up to his feet as Remus repaired the wall, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes for just a moment before turning to watch the debris fly back to where it belonged.

Unconsciously, he held his breath as Remus began to ask a question, bracing himself. When it turned out to be a question he actually knew the answer to and wasn't as bad as he'd been expecting, he let out his breath on a humorless chuckle and nodded.

"Hagrid came and got him. Dumbledore made arrangements for Harry to stay with Lily's sister." He shrugged one shoulder. "I would have taken care of him though," he added quietly. He'd never seen himself having a child of his own, but he would have done everything for Harry. But he knew it was worthless arguing with Hagrid about it, and it gave him a chance to go after Peter.

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tufty
2011-08-09 01:42 am UTC (link)

Remus turned to look at Sirius with the safest expression he'd mustered in a long time: a wrinkled pair of brows. "Tuney? Really?" Saying her name summoned the image of her teeth in his memory, it made him wonder if Lily really was her sister or really was an Evans...

"What does that Muggle know about raising wizard sons?" He couldn't wrap his head around it. He tried to imagine what life Harry might have in her Muggle hands as he turned back to his patchwork and poked at the faintly lined hole that was once open with his wand. It was not even close to a good spell work, but at least it didn't crumble at the lightest touch and it was ignorable...if you didn't look at it too hard.

In his mind, he saw an 11-year old James running around a kitchen with a brown-haired Lily with ugly teeth and a big man with a vague face reading the Daily Prophet...the Daily Prophet?

No, Remus couldn't imagine it.

"You would have done a better job, agreed," he said before a pebble fell out of the hole and he stooped quickly to catch it, spinning it around his fingers to replace it properly. "You are like Prongs with the height and long hair and without the glasses. Just slightly more reckless so I agree, you're the best choice for Harry." He turned to his friend with a small smile. But then...it must hurt thinking about that, too.

"Wouldn't Dumbledore have been a better choice than Petunia, though? Hold--" he flung his attention back to Sirius from the wall, "And what about Voldemort? How could Petunia defend against him?" His voice was rattled with alarm as was his wide gaze.

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the_grim
2011-08-09 03:45 am UTC (link)

He leaned casually back against whatever happened to be behind him, shaking his head lightly. "No idea. Hagrid was right persistent, though. Can't talk him out of anything if Dumbledore's behind it." And since he had already gone against Albus with the whole secret keeper thing, he hadn't felt like he'd had much of a leg to stand on.

Maybe he could convince Dumbledore to let him raise Harry, if he ever got back.

Managing a little smile of his own, he otherwise didn't comment about Prongs. He felt like he was stuck in this weird place between mourning the death of James and hoping like hell he arrived here. Hoping he showed up here was slightly less painful, though, so that was winning out most often.

"Don't know the whole story about Voldemort, yet. I ... I thought he'd been killed at James and Lily's, but Lily said she was talking to Frank and Alice's son here and he said that Voldemort wasn't actually dead at the time. Supposedly he came back later and Harry defeated him. Afraid I don't really know anything beyond that and it's third hand information," he raised his hands, spreading his fingers as he shrugged.

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tufty
2011-08-09 04:48 am UTC (link)

The pebble was still in Remus' finger when he mulled over Sirius'...convoluted story in his head.

"So Voldemort's dead," was his very simple conclusion although the way he looked at his friend, he was also asking him to confirm his logic. "He's dead, he's finished. And...Harry killed him." How a baby could overpower the Dark Lord was beyond Remus' comprehension but maybe Harry was on the ground and Voldemort had tripped over him and smashed his head against the wall...

Or something ridiculous like that. "And...and Frank and Alice's son..Neil was it? Is involved?" How could two babies kill the Dark Lord? Or maybe it was that battle-axe of a mother of Frank's who'd done it...

Remus was better off figuring out how to perfect Lily's wall after he'd broken it. He shook his head a little, turning to face the tiny spot from where the little rock had fallen off. "Voldemort is dead...and Harry finished him." Lily and James were dead, too.

"Did they--" see him finish the Dark Lord? Remus had almost asked with a look at Sirius but caught his tongue in the middle. Of course they didn't, what a foolish question. They would have been so proud, though.

"You--" are proud too, aren't you? Ask that to a man who just lost his best mate and Remus would have more luck of surviving a battle with a Death Eater, he knew.

He breathed quietly through his nose. It was hard to make light of things so dark and heavy, he should probably just not do it. Spinning his new inquiry in mind, he asked -- lamely -- instead: "Could you help me with the Permanent Sticking Charm?" he was offering the blasted pebble to Sirius, too.

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the_grim
2011-08-09 08:23 pm UTC (link)

It wasn't really funny, but watching Remus try to sort through a story that didn't even make complete sense to Sirius brought a grin to his lips that he tried to hold back.

"Neville," he corrected offhandedly, attempting to sort through the details he'd received and make them a bit more coherent for Remus. "Neville and Harry were mates. Harry killed Voldemort later, I guess. Sounded like he disappeared for a time and then came back."

Maybe in a week or so, if they hadn't found a way back by then, he'd want more details about the story. He had a feeling denial was going to be a close friend of his while he adjusted to being here, though.

Stepping forward to take the pebble, he rolled it between his fingers, regarding the mostly repaired damage. He slung an arm around Remus' shoulder and shook his head, "Honestly, mate, how've you survived here a month without me?" He asked with a teasing lilt to his voice.

Releasing his friend, he withdrew his wand and murmured the spell to stick the tiny piece of wall back where it belonged.

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tufty
2011-08-10 01:22 am UTC (link)

"Neville," he uttered in correction, nodding. Neville Longbottom, he remembered. Poor Neville Longbottom whose parents survived but could not care for him...

Which was better, though? Parents who were alive but incapable...or parents who were...not around, anyway?

He might have been a little shocked, maybe startled out of his brief contemplation by the weight of Sirius' arm and he shook his head at him as he held onto the wrist before it pulled away. "It was easy, Padfoot. I hid." It was as simple as that.

"Reckon I do a good job hiding," Remus went on to say as he slipped his wand back into its strap in his right sleeve. "Although I cannot deny that I wished I had the Cloak with me." But it's with Dumbledore, isn't it?

Why is it with Dumbledore? Why didn't he give it back to the Potters even just a day before? That could have saved them!

"It-- was not easy," he said quickly, pushing away the thought as something began to rise from his chest, "but I suppose I managed," Remus tucked his thumbs inside his pockets. "...th, though I really missed the lot of you during my first full moon. Honestly didn't think I'd pull through all right there," he chuckled a little, maybe a little weakly, too. "Now that you are here, things ought to be looking up." He shook his head. "But I also wished you would not come." ...no, this was the confusing part.

"I meant...not you you," he said quickly, "I didn't mind having all of us here so long as no one of you came from," a hand to his chest, "my time, if you get what I mean. Maybe from the past, like Lily. 'cause then in that way, I thought things back home are going to be all right..."

He pressed his lips together, again, eyes on his feet. "Suppose that was a load of bull in the end..."

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the_grim
2011-08-10 05:10 am UTC (link)

"Wish I could have been there, mate." Leaning back against the fixed wall, he felt something almost like guilt -- even though this whole thing was completely out of his hands -- at not being there for Remus; especially during the full moon. He also felt rotten about telling Lily and Remus about what had happened in their future, but if there was a chance they could fix it, he couldn't pass that up and he knew he wouldn't have been able to get away with dropping vague hints.

"I know what you mean," he went on to assure him with a wry smile; he felt something similar, but on a personal level, he was glad to be here. Here, Lily was alive and there was hope that James could show up too.

Furrowing his brow, unsure if that made him selfish or a coward for not wanting to deal with reality or what, he shook his head.

"You feel up to getting something to eat?" Sirius asked, deciding the room was feeling a little small.

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tufty
2011-08-10 05:28 am UTC (link)

Remus wasn't going to lie, he loved it when Sirius invited him out to eat -- because it could mean that he was being generous and the state of Remus' financial health was no mystery to anyone.

"If you're trea..." he began but then it occurred to him, Sirius wasn't in 1981, anymore. He was in New York, 1964 -- where probably no one has even heard of the Noble House of Black.

A lot of good that does to them now.

"Let's look for something you'd like," he said instead as he slipped out his wand, again, and began transfiguring his cloak into something more Muggle-acceptable. Best not to think about their tighter circumstances now. "What do you feel like having anyway?"

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the_grim
2011-08-11 05:37 am UTC (link)

It was going to take some adjusting for Sirius also to remember that he didn't have all the money in the world here. He'd had some galleons with him and planned on selling those, but he knew they would run out sooner than later and he needed to find a job before then.

"Let's just walk and see what we come across," he suggested. He wasn't sure what to expect when it came to American food. Their tea seemed to be rubbish, though, unfortunately.

"D'you reckon we can transfigure something into Muggle money?" He asked as something of an after-thought. He didn't doubt that they could, but it just seemed like such an easy solution that he was sure something must be wrong with it.

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tufty
2011-08-11 12:11 pm UTC (link)

"...suppose we could," Remus said as he kept his wand inside his thinner sleeves and started towards the door that led the way out. There was clearly something that troubled him in his response, though, as his brows remained curled as he stared at Lily's door knob and thought about it. It was such...a trivial thing to be bothered by...but he would much rather waste effort thinking about such simple things than say, what he would see when he does finally return...

"But there ought to be some form of Muggle charm around it," Remus said as he placed his right hand on the silver knob. "I'm not sure how they make these things, I am still a little confused by Muggle money," he still didn't know how many cents made a nickel for one, "but Muggles can't be all that simple, can they? They ought to have a way of keeping things in check..."

Then looking at Sirius as he twisted the handle, he said, "Suppose you can find out, though." The right corner of his lips peaked up a little. Sure Sirius was one of his best mates, but that didn't mean he'd jump into trouble with him. He'd save him if he had to, though -- but that was always a given. And maybe even his job back in school...

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the_grim
2011-08-12 05:23 am UTC (link)

Sirius tried not to smile. After so many years, he liked to think he was rather adept at knowing when Remus thought one of his ideas was a bad one ... or at least one that might wind them up in trouble. He didn't always change his plans as a result, but he did usually take his friend's thoughts into consideration.

"I do think they might be that simple, but I suppose I can keep that idea as a last resort." He didn't see what kind of charm Muggles might have on their money, unless the government was enlisting wizards to help them. No matter. It would be interesting, to have a Muggle job ... and he was still holding onto the idea that they would find a way back home soon anyway.

"The workforce will just have to prepare itself for my arrival," he clapped Remus' shoulder, prepared to follow him out into the hall and out onto the streets of New York.

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tufty
2011-08-12 06:17 am UTC (link)

Remus threw his head back and let out a laugh that echoed throughout the hallway outside of Lily's room. It was such a bold, full laughter that the sound of it surprised even him -- but it felt good. And it was good to his ears. Remus was relieved that after everything he'd learned, he could still laugh like...nothing had happened.

Such laughter is a luxury now.

Still, when he turned back to Sirius, he stretched out his left arm to him, hand open to invite him out. "Come on out here, then, that I may show you what peaceable Muggles you might bother with your presence." He didn't know how those old classics did it, but he liked to think he gave it a good go.

Peaceable Muggles were right, though. This would be an adventure for them. Acting like Muggles, learning to be like them, and getting work, watching Sirius look for work and actually work...there would be many changes until they find a solution to their problem. It's a little funny, Remus thought, this strange taste of reality where everything happened and nothing did. It could be just like before...in the better days.

When friends were still friends and friends stuck together...

Well, they could still do that now, couldn't they? It's not too late, Remus decided, and bad news or no bad news, he really was happy to have his friend along in this time of great need.

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