vicky_wayne (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} vicky_wayne) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} scans_daily,@ 2009-07-26 17:40:00 |
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The Saga of Itty
I posted it over at the place I post stuff and I was told I "NEED" to post it for the world to see, and so I shall! The wonder of Itty should be given to the world, after all.
Dial-up warning: this post is epic big. Like, 40 images or something over about two decades, so proceed with caution if bandwidth is tiny; I've so been there.
So, what's in all this epic-ness? Cuteness! Tentacles! Alien sex! Hal intentionally crashing into a tree! Homoerotic tension with Ollie! Homoerotic tension with Barry! Hal in chains! Hal as a giant! It's all here, and more, in the more-or-less complete story of Hal's little buddy Itty. What is Itty, do you ask? He's one of the Ayries. They look like this:
It takes him about those twenty years to actually have lines, which does not stop him from being amazingly helpful. And adorable.
See, in The Flash Vol. 1, #240, in the back pages Hal had just fought off some... well, these aliens who wanted to do a reverse Biblical creation story, and one of their acts of destruction was to destroy the Ayries. We'll be seeing some religious zealots bent on destroying them later, but as far as I know? Unrelated groups. Anyway, Hal gets himself a hitchhiker drawn to the energy of the ring, and it's pretty darn lonely in space, so he's all like, "Sure, what the hell. My life can't get much weirder, might as well have someone to talk to about it."
The obvious drawback is how much less imposing you are with a flower-thing sitting on your shoulder.
But soak up the cuteness! Do you see that nuzzling? Has Hal ever or since been his adorable? I think not!
In The Flash #245-#246 back pages, Hal's been fighting off some trees and leaves, at which point Itty is like, "Uh, I'll be over here." This is the first of many acts that have Itty bestowed with far more dignity than Hal in this story.
Yes, nothing but peaceful greenery. Remember when I said he'd spent this whole time fighting all that "peaceful" greenery? Seriously, attacked by trees. I think all those blows to the head have given him brain damage or something.
...and there goes all that dignity...
Did I say all that dignity? There was a little left... but it's gone now. Note Itty bailing on that crazy-train. Also? The Floronic Man is fucking weird. But wait! It gets better!
That's right. Hal's little flower-buddy just saved him with his own power ring. Keep in mind how people like Ollie could barely get that damned thing to work at all... but Itty just fires it off like it's nothing. Was that... a little... badass? I know, I know, that can't be the right word, but it's somewhere near "awesome" and "unexpected" for certain.
SO... what happens when Hal tries to introduce Itty to his fellow Lanterns on Oa?
They don't actually give a shit about Itty, hilarious though that idea may be. No, no, they're all under mind control by this weirdo the Mocker who turns them all against Hal. Including the Guardians; he has to chuck one in a crowd at one point. Really.
Green Lantern #96-99: Stuff happens, more stuff, Ollie shows up, Katma Tui, too, and Ollie takes out his anger on a small, defenseless creature that never did a damned thing to him...
What a dick! And Hal agrees with me!
Yes! Fight for Itty's honour! And then... uh... should we leave you two alone? Katma is obviously intrigued there, and I must admit... yeah, I'd watch. I think it'd be just about, if not far more, entertaining than watching them beat the shit out of each other. I think even Itty is wondering if he'll finally be introduced to the concept of sexual intercourse between those fascinating bipedal Terrans.
OH SNAP! It still doesn't make up for the dickery, however.
"Old sock"? What the fuck? Is that like calling someone "dingy tee-shirt" or "stale bread" or "linty sweater" or something? What-ever. That's not the point!
See? So not Itty's fault! Poor little buddy! He's just a baby, even the weird bug alien knows that, douche! Actually... for a second bug-alien kinda looks like... Bizarro Ollie?
Now, fast-forward a bit to the Flash & Green Lantern: The Brave & The Bold flashback series, #5. This is where I first saw the little guy, so I'll throw it in here for part of our Itty in Hal's Trucker Days era.
Is it me or does Hal come off way "creepy guy at a truck stop" here? It's not just the going on and on to a larval alien that can't respond, it's that and... the stubble... and... a little je ne c'est pas.
That's some reaction. First thought: Itty has to be safe. Second thought: Barge into danger headlong. Because if it's taken out nine Green Lanterns it might end up being a challenge for one Hal Jordan.
They made out on the way back; Itty watched with rapt fascination. (Or so the slash goggles see.) Also?
TRUUUUCKERS INNNNN SPAAAAACE!
::ahem::
As you can see...
...the trucker era continuing right along in Green Lantern #100 is pretty much like that book.
I guess having one sidekick around... two if you count the poorly-nicknamed (and yes, they deal with that, he's cool with it) Pieface... just isn't enough. They throw in Air Wave II, Hal's cousin.
Not only is he smitten with Itty, too... wait, he's Hal Jordan, too? Isn't that a little odd, to give your kid the same name your brother named his kid like, ten years earlier or whatever? In a lot of ways, I feel bad for Little Hal; he's 16, trying to be a superhero, just... mostly being inept, and his instant role model and cousin is... well, he's Hal Jordan.
Very supportive, Hal. I guess I can understand, though... being bugged by a kid when you've got big world-saving shit to do.
Good thing Little Hal romances the hell out of the idea of Big Hal being too busy for him. And, of course, there's Itty to keep him company. I honestly wonder if they thought Little Hal would end up being like a Wally to his Barry or something... if that was the intent it definitely didn't work.
Also? OMG GIANT FACE WTF.
Now... brace yourselves, folks. It gets pretty sad for a bit. #104 reveals that tragedy has struck Carol Ferris's home...
That's a big-ass gravestone for a pet. Then again, Itty could wield a power ring and if Krypto died? Just imagine the monument Clark would erect towering over the Antarctic.
Jeeze, they just all look... so sad! It makes me sad. Even Ollie's all sad. I can just picture Hal sitting in front of the fire with Itty, trying to talk him into coming back to life... ::sniff::
But... is it really the end?
Not so much. Some scientist creates some... purple glowing light... things... and they trigger or just happen to coincide with Itty's body becoming... well, this:
Meanwhile, in #106...
Not only is it going after people and rocks and what-not, Dinah's predicament looks hazardous for so many reasons.
Also...
If it wasn't for Sonar's whole... posture and all that in that doorway, there wouldn't be anything dirty about that panel. As it stands? Straight out of a few pornos I've seen.
With this realization, he does a very smart thing and calls up Ray Palmer to help figure it all out; and he does.
An WTF is with Little Hal's self-esteem? He keeps calling himself "Airwave Two" as if he needs permission to be a superhero. In the DCU? Not so much.
"Not now, guys. I know he tried to kill you, but that's really not the issue here."
That's... well. Pretty nuts. And cool. I kind of love it. But we're not done, not by a long shot!
It's not until years later, but what's up with Itty is seen again in Green Lantern Corps Quarterly #5:
He kinda looks like a blue Chemo. You may be thinking he looks nothing like when he was last sighted, but that'll change again. He's found the other Ayries all dead, fended off their remains... then followed the signal.
We learn that the Ayries are just the babies; adults are the Lasma, and the fanatical Laroo with a silly name are in the middle of trying to kill the only other Lasma still alive.
Even gigantic, he still manages to be cute as he wanders into the battle. Oh, Itty.
"Wait, what are you... OH THAT'S AN ORGASM! Suddenly I understand Hal so much better!"
Cutest. Alien. Sex scene. EVAR. I mean, really. He's pretty adorable for a four-thousand-year-old (or something like that).
The Laroo are still after them and the wife's pregnant, so where should they turn? Take a guess. They re-appear in Green Lantern Vol. 3 #43, in the middle of one of Hal's ennui sessions.
Don't argue with the giant blue titan! Deliver his children, tiny man!
After some rather... weirdly sexual stuff for someone giving birth out of their hair, she gives him the run-down on the Laroo being morons and fanatics and all that.
He plays midwife and the babies are born... but the Laroo attack and... rupture the power battery? Hal takes it all in and gets all giant, too!
GIANT HAL LAZOR VISION WILL KEEL YOU!!!!
Until it's all too much and he falls out of the sky into the hands of Itty's wife again.
I totally love Itty's "Oh yays wifey says I did good!" face. He's the cutest giant alien.
I also love Hal's face. He's a daddy now!
I really like the character and all, but I don't feel that big need to see him pop back up again. Would that be super-neat? Oh sure. But sometimes, the end is just so good that it leaves you with just that right feeling of closure.