InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "why are there still monkeys?"

The Judges Of Sabra La Tau (sabra_la_iudex) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2011-03-18 16:31:00

Entry tags:

!days 220-229, !games, akin iyapo shing kaalnikanjlo, amy pond, ashikawa mitsuru, claude c. kenni, danielle 'dani' phantom, edward elric, gokudera hayato, howard link, impmon, jace beleren, kurosaki tasuku, nakayama yayoi, rabi, raenef, rolo lamperouge, shinonome hangetsu, shinonome kon, takizawa yuta, wanijima akito, yoi-te, {charles j. krishund}, {chaz villette}, {doumeki shizuka}, {gaara}, {hoshimura makina}, {howell jenkins}, {kuchiha}, {nicholas d. wolfwood}, {rapunzel}, {ryner lute}, {{{akatsuki chika}}}, {{{date masamune}}}, {{{miranda lotto}}}, {{{zelgadis greywords}}}, ~angel

Who: YOU
Where: ARENA
When: Day 225, morning
What: ~*Game*~

[TODAY on our throne is none other than our buddy Angel, flanked by her usual enormous maze. There are eight entrances to the maze, each blocked from view by fluttering coloured fabric.]

Hey, hey, is it really scary to lose things? That stuff you're holding onto, would you really be worse off if you didn't have it? And, and, that stuff you want to lose? Is that important too?

[Prep | Mingle (4:30PST - 5:30PST) | MAZE (5:30PST - 8:30PST) | Endgame | Memories]

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Re: [Endgame]

crossboundaries
2011-03-19 05:57 am UTC (link)

It's not new. It's different but it isn't new. If it was new we wouldn't get memories back. Wouldn't value our memories. Wouldn't be struggling to get back all those details. You wouldn't care about knowing your wife just because she was your wife once. We are still those people. We're just those people with their memories blanked out.

I don't understand the other question.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

lone_centurion
2011-03-19 06:03 am UTC (link)

If I didn't get the memory I did, just that one memory, I probably wouldn't have cared. No, I definitely wouldn't have cared. I honestly hated 'Rory' when I first woke up.

And really, I'm not sure if everyone is exactly the same. I know I'm not. Very similar, yeah, but different. It's like...the person we were is that person who defines us most.

What I'm asking is, before you got whatever memory it was that told you that you wanted to stop existing, did you ever want to stop existing? Here?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

crossboundaries
2011-03-19 06:08 am UTC (link)

You're not understanding. Because those memories aren't gone, they're just hidden. Because you'll get it back. You have the memory now, so you care now. If you hadn't got it now, you'd get it later, and if you get it later, you'd care then. It's not gone. It's not changed. It's not new. It's just not always present right now. Nothing's changed, just covered up. If you were new, it wouldn't matter that those memories came back. They'd be someone else's. But they're not. They're yours.

Do you really know enough of who you are to guarantee that as you remember enough of it, you won't be that person? With more memories coming up? And the experiences here factored in?

[draws a horizontal line on the ground, draws a line through it vertically, bisecting it. Points to the first half.] This is who we were.

[points to the second half] This is who we are. If you look at it from the midpoint, we're new, because we start at that point. But we're one line. We continue to gather experiences as we move forward, grow and change from it, but our past extends beyond that break.

I think anything else is delusion.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

lone_centurion
2011-03-19 06:16 am UTC (link)

So then we're always on the same line, even when we can't remember, defined by the people around us...

But there's a few things I'm wondering then, Night.

What happens when someone refuses to let another's opinion ultimately affect their line after a certain point? [Kneels down and draws a line.] Such as someone leaves behind the family who really shouldn't be a family to pursue their own life?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

crossboundaries
2011-03-19 06:18 am UTC (link)

New experiences. People change through life. But that's not the point.

You're defining "family" emotionally. With your associations with the word. For some people, the people who raise you will give those associations. For other people, they're raised as things they aren't, in situations that hurt them. That doesn't mean that the people who raised them weren't family. It means the associations with family are a different situation. "Should". "Shouldn't". Those aren't words you apply to facts unless you're already biased.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] lone_centurion 2011-03-19 06:22 am UTC (link)
	Seems like a lot of semantics. You get the difference, don't you? Between the team and the 'family' you had back home. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-19 06:23 am UTC (link)
	You're the one arguing the semantics. I get the difference. I know what team is to me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

lone_centurion
2011-03-19 06:29 am UTC (link)

I always feel like I'm under fire when I try to explain any sort of feeling thing. Though maybe I'm just bad at it...

Still. [Looking at the line.] Maybe all this really true for others, but you also have the possibility for a different circumstance, don't you?

What happens to this line, if the person has someone who defines them cease to be suddenly? Or if they're the owner of that line?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-19 06:36 am UTC (link)
	Maybe the problem is that you're kind of heavy-handed about feeling things. What do you mean "owner", though? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] lone_centurion 2011-03-19 06:40 am UTC (link)
	...could be. But it's better than being the programming. If the person living this life along this line ceased to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-19 06:48 am UTC (link)
	If you want to address it, just do it openly. You keep bringing it up but not subtly. Then... [passes a hand over the line, erasing it.] Nothing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] lone_centurion 2011-03-20 04:43 am UTC (link)
	And if they go somewhere else, after they 'cease to be' in their universe? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 05:02 am UTC (link)
	Why would they go somewhere else after that? Not existing means that there'd be nothing to go elsewhere. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

lone_centurion
2011-03-20 05:26 am UTC (link)

Well, I obviously went somewhere. No idea where, but The Doctor confirmed it. Died and then my body got swallowed up by a crack in the universe. Erased from time and all that stuff.

But when you said we're defined by those around us when we're born...this place isn't even in the same universe we're from. Not possible as I'm pretty sure my universe was stopping to exist, so even an alien world, it wouldn't be this place.

[Looks up from the erased line.] So I'm just wondering if it's possible you're here because you already stopped existing in your universe...and maybe took a chance at a different life.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 05:31 am UTC (link)
	If that's the case... then my wish wasn't ever granted. I'd make it clear to the Judges what I really want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

lone_centurion
2011-03-20 05:40 am UTC (link)

You really sure it'll be what you want?

Could be you just 'live' without having to 'exist.' It is possible in a way I really can't explain or understand. Maybe it has to be a weird way. Yet I died and then ceased to be, so I really don't know how you get more thorough than that, yet there was still something to be pulled back.

But things are different here than home and I just thought you might have wanted that if you had to go somewhere.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 05:56 am UTC (link)
	I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want ... to continue. I want... every... influence I have ever had on the world to be undone. I want... It's not that I want to "stop". I want to have "never started". (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] lone_centurion 2011-03-20 06:03 am UTC (link)
	Because you think your influence was bad, wasn't it? Do you think your influence here was bad? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 06:07 am UTC (link)
	Because I think my influence is negative. ...Yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] lone_centurion 2011-03-20 06:08 am UTC (link)
	Why? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 06:10 am UTC (link)
	It's how I am. Even if we can't see it here, the ripples of my existence ...they do damage. And disgust me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] lone_centurion 2011-03-20 06:14 am UTC (link)
	... I don't think that's true at all. For Lyvus, it's because all of us exist that we are able to find the strength. Without each other, none of us would be able to be as happy as we can be. And you are a part of that. And any 'negative' things you have to do, everyone here has to do. You're no worse than anyone else in the actions that must be done here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 06:30 am UTC (link)
	Can't they pick what they want to do about it? And I've done things before I've come here. I've killed a lot of people. A lot of people, Brass. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Endgame]

lone_centurion
2011-03-20 06:42 am UTC (link)

Considering most of the time it's just the choice of who to kill, it's all bad in the end.

...I accepted a long time ago that anyone on Lyvus has killed at least some people. It seems to be a thing. Massacres, even.

It's not right to kill people, but there are times where it seems the reasonable thing to do or it's unavoidable. If I just focused on the fact people killed, and let that decide what I felt about them, I couldn't care about anyone on the team. Or even myself, I basically killed my wife.

But the fact you hate that you did...that's the part I care about. That's the part that's the real you, the part that makes the real impact on the people who care about you.

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	Re: [Endgame] crossboundaries 2011-03-20 06:54 am UTC (link)
	I meant, how they react. What they do... with themselves. [sighs, curling up and hiding his face against his knees] Miharu... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)