Real World TV RPG

[Parker sits down in front of the camera without any fanfare and leans forward slightly as she stares directly into the camera. Her arms are folded across her chest and she seems determined to appear nonchalant and failing somewhat.]

So. Um. Yeah, so I don't really do this in-front-of-the-camera thing or the acting thing so this is - this is ridiculous. Why do we have to do these things? This is entirely a waste of time - [she rises halfway as if to leave but changes her mind at the last second and sits back down.]

I have no idea why I agreed to this. Just so all of you know, this place can't be real. It's like the Twilight Zone - there are cartoons walking around like they're real people and there's cameras everywhere but I can't even figure out what kind of security system they have, which is ridiculous because I know all of them and this place doesn't even seem to have one but I still can't get out of here. [She pauses for a moment, brow furrowed as if in deep thought.]

Hey, maybe I'm like dreaming or something and I'm actually in a coma somewhere. Oh god, what if I'm in a coma? Nate, this had better not be one of your neuro-linguistic brainwashings, or I'll - [Still frowning, she cuts herself off and leaves the room abruptly.]

[The door opens, and the first thing that viewers see entering the frame is the point of a sword, followed by bare thighs, a short leather skirt and a leather and metal clad torso. Xena stalks into the room slowly, cautiously, like she's sniffing out someone's trail or trying to be sneaky. Truthfully, she just doesn't trust or understand anything she sees. When she finally turns towards the camera, the viewers can only see from mid-thigh up to her chest. She walks towards the camera and bends over, squinting at what she sees. She continues to move closer until all the viewer can see is her eyes. She lifts a finger and taps at the camera.]

Hello? Who's there?

[Xena frowns, obviously confused by the lack of response. Always suspicious, she presses on.]

I don't know who's behind this or what is going on, but I will find out, and when I do, it won't be pretty.