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Jason Murphy (jmurph) wrote in providence_rpg,
@ 2008-10-15 22:42:00

Awkwardness, anyone?
WHO: Jason & Kate
WHAT: Kate's shadowing him at work.
WHERE: Gunter Studios.
WHEN: ALL DAY. Lmfao.
RATING: Who knows? TBD.
OPEN? To

stillnotkatie only.

To say that Jason was a little nervous and apprehensive about Kate shadowing him at work would be a complete understatement. While he did want to see her again and spend some time with her, he knew that things couldn't be like they had been before. They weren't together anymore, they weren't dating. He had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend. They were only going to be friends, and that was really for the best. Though Jason had never really completely gotten over Kate, he knew that they could really be no more than friends. Things couldn't miraculously return to the way they had been when he had said goodbye to her when she left to come here. He couldn't hold open his arms and let her run into them and hug and kiss her, no matter how much he thought about it. And then, after thinking about it, he always felt incredibly guilty.

Pushing all those thoughts out of his head, Jason focused on the task at hand. He was sitting at his desk about ten minutes before Kate was scheduled to show up, and he couldn't exactly concentrate on the things he was supposed to do today. He had saved some developing for a project for when she showed up, to give her something to do. He figured that, since she was a photography student now, she knew how to develop without his help. Which just made him smile, of course. He couldn't get over the sense of pride and the little bit of nostalgia he felt whenever he thought about Kate going into photography. However small of a part he played in that decision, he still played a part in a huge decision in her life. It touched him, really. And then he ended up feeling guilty again. 'Hey, Jason! There's a Kathleen Shore here to see you? She says that she's supposed to be career shadowing you.' Jason looked up at the sound of his co-worker's voice, and he nodded. "Yeah, send her on back, please," he said, reaching a hand up to run through his hair. He needed to get his head together, and fast.

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stillnotkatie
2008-10-20 04:43 pm UTC (link)

No matter how many deep breaths Kate took it felt like her heart was never going to calm down. Now that she had hugged Jason and felt his arms around her body her skin practically screamed to feel it again. She so desperately wanted to feel his warm body against hers and to be able to hear his breathing and press her cheek to his chest so she could hear and feel his heart beat. She just wanted to be close to him again, but it was obviously a very bad idea. Kate knew herself well enough to know that if she let herself get that close to Jason she probably wouldn’t be able to take herself away from him. It wasn’t fair to either of them, or to Jamie and Nicole. Kate cared about Jamie enough to know that she couldn’t put herself in a situation like that, and she felt extremely guilty for the feelings that she was sorting through now as she stood there in the dark room with the lights on looking at Jason.

Even though what Jason said was very true, that didn’t stop Kate from feeling a little bit hurt when he said it. It was certainly a bad idea, but if it was so bad when why did it feel so damn good when they did it? People always said that you want what you can’t have, so Kate assumed that since she obviously couldn’t have Jason near her then that was all that she would want. Or at least that is what she used as an excuse for what she was feeling. “Yeah, it was,” Kate said quietly with a nod as she wrapped her own arms around her body. Kate bit down on her bottom lip and watched as Jason checked out the projector and then nodded when he reminded her to swirl the chemicals around every once in a while. She watched as he sat on the counter and Kate let herself lean on the counter she was by, making sure that she wasn’t standing too close to Jason. Great. Now what? Kate could tell that this next fifteen minutes would be the longest fifteen minutes she would experience in a long time. “So, my mom got married,” Kate said randomly, knowing that she was going to have to think of something for the two of them to talk about. “Well, re-married I guess,” Jason knew all about Kate’s family situation and how her parents were divorced.

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jmurph
2008-10-21 01:25 pm UTC (link)

Jason’s eyes watched Kate as she stood there, her arms wrapped around herself, and he cleared his throat. He wanted to reach out and touch her again, even though he knew it was wrong. He saw the flash of hurt cross Kate’s face, and he immediately regretted saying that the hug was a bad idea out loud. Whether or not Kate knew it, Jason was still better at reading her than anyone she knew. He had spent an entire year staring at her face, and never tiring of it. He would definitely be able to pick out an emotion as it crossed her face. “I … yeah,” he said, shrugging. She had agreed that it was a bad idea, but that didn’t stop him from feeling bad. “Don’t get me wrong … it really was nice. I did miss you. But we just … we shouldn’t hug, or anything like that,” he said, clearing his throat and crossing his arms over his chest.

Watching as Kate moved to stand by the counter he was sitting on, Jason grabbed one of the canisters with the film inside and started nervously swirling the liquid inside in circles. He needed to do something to keep his hands busy. Having Kate this close to him wasn’t something that Jason thought would be difficult. He thought he would love having her this close to him again. The problem was that he actually did love it. He wanted her back in his life, in more than a friendly way. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, Jason’s eyes concentrated on the canister in his hand. He didn’t want to admit those thoughts to himself, let alone her. And since he was still able to read her so well, he only assumed that she’d be just as good at reading him. He couldn’t help but glance back at her as she spoke again, though, and Jason smiled. “Really? That’s great. I always liked your mom,” he told her, nodding, then laughing. “Well, once I got over the fear that she was going to castrate me, I liked her,” he smiled. “Your dad, though … I still haven’t gotten over that fear,” he added, unable to hold back a laugh as he ran a hand through his hair.

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stillnotkatie
2008-10-21 08:55 pm UTC (link)

Kate knew very well that Jason could read her better then anyone and that was because the two of them were inseparable when they were together. Jason got to know Kate better then anyone, better then her friends back in Colorado and even sometimes better then her own parents. Kate used to love that about them, it was such a good thing for their relationship when it came to understanding each other, but now that they were not together and Kate had so much she wanted to hide she wished that he couldn’t read her so well anymore. She tried to cover up the hurt look on her face, but once it surfaced she knew that it was too late. She did look up at him when he said that he missed her, those simple words brought back a bunch of feelings and caused that small ache in her heart to increase. She swallowed hard and looked away again, pretending to be suddenly interested in the shoelaces on her worn out converse runners. “Yeah, I know,” Kate said, confirming that she knew they shouldn’t do anything like that, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to.

As Jason grabbed one of the canisters and started swirling the chemicals inside Kate reached over to grab her own and mimicked what he was doing. She too needed something to do with her hands, she was just afraid that since she was so nervous her hands would start shaking. Luckily they didn’t and she swirled the chemicals around a bit before placing the canister back on the counter beside her. Kate had been looking forward to spending time with Jason again, but she didn’t consider how awkward or tense it might be. Kate hated it and missed just being able to be herself around Jason, to not have to think about the things she was going to say or do to him to make sure that they were appropriate. Kate did smile and laugh a bit when Jason talked about her parents. She remembered how scared Jason was of her mom, and especially of her father Simon. “My mom always liked you,” Kate said. “I think Simon did too, he just didn’t show it so well,” Kate then said with a grin. Though, since Kate and Jason were no longer together Simon’s opinion of Jason was indifferent, but she didn’t want to bring that up mainly because she didn’t want to admit out loud that her and Jason were no longer together, and couldn’t be together.

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