InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "my heart aches for you"

Jason Murphy (jmurph) wrote in providence_rpg,
@ 2008-10-15 22:42:00

Awkwardness, anyone?
WHO: Jason & Kate
WHAT: Kate's shadowing him at work.
WHERE: Gunter Studios.
WHEN: ALL DAY. Lmfao.
RATING: Who knows? TBD.
OPEN? To

stillnotkatie only.

To say that Jason was a little nervous and apprehensive about Kate shadowing him at work would be a complete understatement. While he did want to see her again and spend some time with her, he knew that things couldn't be like they had been before. They weren't together anymore, they weren't dating. He had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend. They were only going to be friends, and that was really for the best. Though Jason had never really completely gotten over Kate, he knew that they could really be no more than friends. Things couldn't miraculously return to the way they had been when he had said goodbye to her when she left to come here. He couldn't hold open his arms and let her run into them and hug and kiss her, no matter how much he thought about it. And then, after thinking about it, he always felt incredibly guilty.

Pushing all those thoughts out of his head, Jason focused on the task at hand. He was sitting at his desk about ten minutes before Kate was scheduled to show up, and he couldn't exactly concentrate on the things he was supposed to do today. He had saved some developing for a project for when she showed up, to give her something to do. He figured that, since she was a photography student now, she knew how to develop without his help. Which just made him smile, of course. He couldn't get over the sense of pride and the little bit of nostalgia he felt whenever he thought about Kate going into photography. However small of a part he played in that decision, he still played a part in a huge decision in her life. It touched him, really. And then he ended up feeling guilty again. 'Hey, Jason! There's a Kathleen Shore here to see you? She says that she's supposed to be career shadowing you.' Jason looked up at the sound of his co-worker's voice, and he nodded. "Yeah, send her on back, please," he said, reaching a hand up to run through his hair. He needed to get his head together, and fast.

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jmurph
2008-10-21 01:25 pm UTC (link)

Jason’s eyes watched Kate as she stood there, her arms wrapped around herself, and he cleared his throat. He wanted to reach out and touch her again, even though he knew it was wrong. He saw the flash of hurt cross Kate’s face, and he immediately regretted saying that the hug was a bad idea out loud. Whether or not Kate knew it, Jason was still better at reading her than anyone she knew. He had spent an entire year staring at her face, and never tiring of it. He would definitely be able to pick out an emotion as it crossed her face. “I … yeah,” he said, shrugging. She had agreed that it was a bad idea, but that didn’t stop him from feeling bad. “Don’t get me wrong … it really was nice. I did miss you. But we just … we shouldn’t hug, or anything like that,” he said, clearing his throat and crossing his arms over his chest.

Watching as Kate moved to stand by the counter he was sitting on, Jason grabbed one of the canisters with the film inside and started nervously swirling the liquid inside in circles. He needed to do something to keep his hands busy. Having Kate this close to him wasn’t something that Jason thought would be difficult. He thought he would love having her this close to him again. The problem was that he actually did love it. He wanted her back in his life, in more than a friendly way. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, Jason’s eyes concentrated on the canister in his hand. He didn’t want to admit those thoughts to himself, let alone her. And since he was still able to read her so well, he only assumed that she’d be just as good at reading him. He couldn’t help but glance back at her as she spoke again, though, and Jason smiled. “Really? That’s great. I always liked your mom,” he told her, nodding, then laughing. “Well, once I got over the fear that she was going to castrate me, I liked her,” he smiled. “Your dad, though … I still haven’t gotten over that fear,” he added, unable to hold back a laugh as he ran a hand through his hair.

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stillnotkatie
2008-10-21 08:55 pm UTC (link)

Kate knew very well that Jason could read her better then anyone and that was because the two of them were inseparable when they were together. Jason got to know Kate better then anyone, better then her friends back in Colorado and even sometimes better then her own parents. Kate used to love that about them, it was such a good thing for their relationship when it came to understanding each other, but now that they were not together and Kate had so much she wanted to hide she wished that he couldn’t read her so well anymore. She tried to cover up the hurt look on her face, but once it surfaced she knew that it was too late. She did look up at him when he said that he missed her, those simple words brought back a bunch of feelings and caused that small ache in her heart to increase. She swallowed hard and looked away again, pretending to be suddenly interested in the shoelaces on her worn out converse runners. “Yeah, I know,” Kate said, confirming that she knew they shouldn’t do anything like that, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to.

As Jason grabbed one of the canisters and started swirling the chemicals inside Kate reached over to grab her own and mimicked what he was doing. She too needed something to do with her hands, she was just afraid that since she was so nervous her hands would start shaking. Luckily they didn’t and she swirled the chemicals around a bit before placing the canister back on the counter beside her. Kate had been looking forward to spending time with Jason again, but she didn’t consider how awkward or tense it might be. Kate hated it and missed just being able to be herself around Jason, to not have to think about the things she was going to say or do to him to make sure that they were appropriate. Kate did smile and laugh a bit when Jason talked about her parents. She remembered how scared Jason was of her mom, and especially of her father Simon. “My mom always liked you,” Kate said. “I think Simon did too, he just didn’t show it so well,” Kate then said with a grin. Though, since Kate and Jason were no longer together Simon’s opinion of Jason was indifferent, but she didn’t want to bring that up mainly because she didn’t want to admit out loud that her and Jason were no longer together, and couldn’t be together.

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