ben winchester ❤'s his car. and his wife! (inhisfootsteps) wrote in paragraffiti, @ 2009-09-30 19:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | allana djo solo (future plot), bart allen/flash (future plot), ben braeden-winchester (future plot), damien thorn, fred burkle, lavender brown, lindsey mcdonald, scorpius malfoy |
Some "Facts" About My Future
! We once stopped a bad guy with huge catapults of ice cream. We were all sick for days later from eating all the rest before it melted.
! Uncle Sam works at a circus one summer for extra cash. We called him Bobo until Christmas. You fill in the blanks.
! Optimus Prime accidentally flattens that awesome little diner between the Hyperion and this house. He's still pretty sorry about that.
! Grandpa can still be a jerk sometimes watches the Lord of the Rings and immediately studies up so be can be Gandalf during LARP weekends.
! Cathy is so badass, she gets into Eve's apartment, steal all her shoes and donates them to an overseas charity. There are now starving Ethiopians walking around in hooker shoes.
! I am always right. Always. I let Allana think she is sometimes because I'm a nice friend.
! Hot blonde Claire, as I called her when I was a midget, joins a gang of biker chicks. This just makes her that much hotter.
! Grandmom Heidi adopts an arriving Tribble and doesn't know what it is. Granddad Nathan nearly gets buried alive under them in the resulting chaos.
! Dad hits his head and takes all his favorite ladies shopping and for manicures and pedicures. The color he gets for his own? Pretty Princess Pink.
! Bumblebee and I once cruised Santa Monica for dates for the weekend. I scored a stone cold fox of a redhead and he scored the pretty sexy vintage Mustang she was driving.
! Xander becomes the president of a magic prank devices company. Jessica Alba is his personal assistant.
! Claire kissed a girl and she liked it. Especially the taste of that chick's cherry chapstick. No, I'm not telling what Claire.
! Aunt Faith gets a tattoo of a bunny on her stomach and names it Rocky. She can make it jump with her ab muscles. When it gets all oppressively serious and we need a laugh, she yanks up her shirt and chases Anya around.
! Wonder Woman remains a babe.
! Swearing near the midgets is considered Bad Ben Behavior, but I sometimes can't help it when I'm distracted or annoyed or whatever the fuck else. Grandma once said I couldn't go a week without saying one swear word, we made a bet, and then she iced my bed to get me to swear so she could win the bet.
! Ailyn did a diagram thing once that was a whole wall wide and tall, ON the wall, then said Mr Solo gave her the idea when she asked him about big spaces. It was Aunt Mirta's wall. She hunted him down and shot him with paintballs until he was rainbow colored like the wall. This wouldn't be so bad, except the paintballs? Expired three years before and had a 30% rate of actual breakage. He looked like he'd gotten chicken pox.
! Fred becomes President of Los Angeles and we never elect another because she is Just That Awesome. Also, because she has an army of angry Ewoks as her deceptively-fuzzy minions and don't you know, Ewoks are actually little shits.
! Terry goes through a pre-mid-life crisis and changes up his crime-fighting gear. He now fights crime dressed like Stitch, as in Lilo and Stitch.
! Someone in my future knows I'm swearing on the boards where everyone can see it and will try to ground me when I get back because we will, SOON. They will not succeed.
! Because L.A. is totally lacking in badass cowboys, Lindsey devotes his life to being John Wayne, the most badass cowboy in existence. Cathy thinks it's hot and Izzy is responsible for pushing around the wagon that Cathy swoons into.
Most of these are outright lies. You people keep asking about the future, I'm going to keep on making more shit up. However, there might be things on this list that are partially or one hundred percent true. No, I'm not fucking telling what they are, and if anyone else tells, you guys know what I'll do to you, so I suggest you start making the bigger shit up too if you're not telling things to stop these fucking crappy futures or you're not keeping it to little things people could pretty much already guess, because I want to go home to my own goddamned timeline and not some timeline where we traded in cars for unicorns that shoot rainbows out their asses.
Okay! There's people and facts left to share, so who wants to know about themselves in the future? I've got time to kill.
[ooc: HAHAHA, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR. This is all IC. Only Ben is obsessed with breaking the future. Me, I'm loving you guys and all the stuff you're doing.]