InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "this word you keep using..."

theprettybeta (theprettybeta) wrote in paradisocomm,
@ 2016-04-26 22:09:00

Entry tags:

~alphonso mackenzie (shotgunaxe), ~cassie barnes (notbornabarne), ~chester adams (seregeturgun), ~derek hale (theworstalpha), ~isaac lahey (theprettybeta), ~lydia martin (eunoia)

Music. I'm starting to realize that one of the few things I really miss here is music. Working 12 hour days would probably be a lot less demanding if we actually had something to help us unwind at night.

DEREK.
I shouldn't have snapped at you
I sounded just like him. I sounded just fucking like him
I'm sorry.

CHESTER.
Tell me you're alright? I'm just checking in.

LYDIA.
~~I need you right now~~
Hey Marilyn. How are you feeling? What are you doing right now
Can you
Can I
Can we figure this out please because I can't handle more

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	DEREK. theprettybeta 2016-04-27 02:39 am UTC (link)
	No, it's not okay. I'm so sorry. Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me. Phenomenal. Everything is falling right into place, not a stress in the world. Welcome to paradise. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ISAAC.

theworstalpha
2016-04-27 02:47 am UTC (link)

She stretched you to your limit and then stood on the last nerve you had left. Everybody gets angry, Isaac, and she needed to hear that. I know you don't like how it came out, but shit happens. That's why I told you to take a walk and clear your head, because I know you can clear your head. ~~That's what makes you different; you aren't your father.~~

Yeah, preaching to the choir, buddy. I'll admit freely you've got it rougher than me right now, but still. Preaching to the choir.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

DEREK.

theprettybeta
2016-04-27 02:49 am UTC (link)

She doesn't know. She doesn't understand, I can't just snap at her like that. It's not right. No matter the circumstance, it's never right. ~~But apparently I can't remember that. Because I'm my goddamn father~~

Yeah, I saw that. By the way, speaking in Portuguese? Still not a good way to hide the fact that you're talking about oral sex with your last girlfriend in public. Just one of those 'the more you know' things.

How are you holding up?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ISAAC.

theworstalpha
2016-04-27 02:55 am UTC (link)

Isaac, yes she does. I talked to her and I know she struggles, but you're allowed to be angry and snap when she's putting herself and the baby at risk. That's okay. Maybe not as okay to go that far down the rabbit hole, but it's okay to be mad.

Yeah, well. I've never actually been all that shy about that sort of thing so if people didn't want to read it, they didn't have to. You creeper.

...I don't know. Okay, I guess.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

DEREK.

theprettybeta
2016-04-27 03:09 am UTC (link)

It wasn't just that. It was everything. It was the changing her mind all the time, and the whole cave situation, and the bed and threatening Lynne and just everything. And blindsiding me and telling me that she's been hiding that she's had feelings for me ~~right after I might have actually found something that~~ even though I told her that I just want her to be honest with me, the constant lack of trust and faith in me despite how hard I'm trying, it was just... everything. And I snapped. And you don't have to tell me it was too far, believe me. I already hate myself for it.

It's not my fault, I saw an attractive new woman and I started reading. Of course she's Larissa. This is why I read, to avoid situations like that. You're welcome.

How could you even be okay right now? Seriously? You mean that? You're alright?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ISAAC.

theworstalpha
2016-04-27 03:12 am UTC (link)

I know. To be honest, I'm proud of you for making it this long without snapping. I wouldn't have been able to. Well just don't hate yourself for too long. Accidents happen, emotions were high.

What am I supposed to do, go cry about it? I came here to move on, she probably did the same. It's not that small an island, Isaac, I'll be fine. We left on good terms, we can still be friends.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	DEREK. theprettybeta 2016-04-27 03:21 am UTC (link)
	I agreed to do this for the long run, man, no matter what. I've been avoiding acting like that for years. I fucked it up, I thought I was alright. I was really close to being alright. Alright. Well if you need someone to talk to just let me know. I'm not the king of healthy relationships but I can at least hear you out when you need it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ISAAC. theworstalpha 2016-04-27 03:25 am UTC (link)
	In your defense, you've been working practically twelve hour days, you're barely sleeping. You're exhausted. It's a lot harder to reel it in when you're that fatigued because you're not taking care of yourself. I am here, Isaac. I can help. Let me help sometimes. Thanks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	DEREK. theprettybeta 2016-04-27 03:27 am UTC (link)
	That's just the shit on the surface, man. Things are so complicated here. I don't regret coming. But it wasn't supposed to be like this. I thought it would be easier, that's all. Yeah, of course. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ISAAC. theworstalpha 2016-04-27 03:31 am UTC (link)
	It'll get easier, Isaac. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	DEREK. theprettybeta 2016-04-27 03:46 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, it always does, right? (Reply to this) (Parent)

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