InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "plot > pb"

meticulous_soul (meticulous_soul) wrote in mirage_rpg,
@ 2009-02-08 19:40:00

Current music:	Casey Chambers- "Rattlin' Bones"
Entry tags:	complete, day 31, l lawliet, laura moon

I Left My Home, I Left My Love, I Left My Faith Back There.
[Who]: L and Laura
[When]: Day 31, Afternoon
[What]: L isn't bored, but wants to hang out with Laura anyway. She's that cool~
[Rating]: PG for now, for likely deep thoughts.
[Status]: Technically open, though they'll likely be forced!polite to anyone else who shows up, lol

It puzzled L, that Laura might possibly believe that he wouldn't want to spend time with her unless he had absolutely nothing else to do. She certainly wasn't easy on herself, when it came to the appeal she held for others. He could understand, when he thought about it as others might... but it was a forced way of thinking, for the secretive detective. He was the type of man who named spiders but left others hanging without even an approved fake moniker for himself. Except for Laura, of course. Laura was different. She knew to call him by his professional codename. It was closer than he allowed most people to get. And, yes, he considered Laura a "person."

The commons area was a well-furnishes, quiet room with a fireplace, though with agreeable weather like they had been having, it was not in use. Perching on an armchair, L organized his thoughts (as was his custom before a planned conversation), craning his neck and watching for Laura.

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spitandviolets
2009-02-13 11:41 pm UTC (link)

"I wanted to lose weight because I was convinced that I was fat and that I weighed too much. It doesn't matter to me anymore. My body is already far lighter than it should be for a woman of my height and body shape. I don't eat, so I probably won't gain, except for water weight from hydration and such. It is no longer a concern of mine. It used to bother me a lot. I was always complaining that I was too fat, that my breasts were too small, that I was too short. I'd complain about it even after incredibly intimate experiences. Humans do spend too much time thinking about things like that. I can honestly say I never really gave much thought to something important, like my immortal soul."

Laura Moon was neither supermodel nor chaste Venus, but she certainly could work as one of those centerfolds. She had, in fact, dressed like that. It was the only way she knew how to be sexy. She had never been pure, not for a moment. There had always been something a little bit soiled about Laura. For being given such a part, though, she played it well. What made her different, though, when she was in her stockings, corsets, makeup and heels, her eyes spoke something completely different than the cold, distant pinups of the past. She was a little flawed, and she was rough around the edges. Laura had been a real woman, and she had looked upon a handful of guys with eyes that said, I'm here. Please, touch me. I'm real. She absolutely hated herself for that vulnerability.

"Well, baking it is. You and I, or I, will bake after we get some lunch into you. And you can be my taste tester. Sound like a good deal?"

After a good deal of wandering, she finally found the cafe that she'd heard about. She ushered him in, almost afraid that he'd die of starvation right then and there. Apparently part of protecting him was making sure that he was taking care of himself; it wasn't going to be a bad job. She hoped that he wouldn't notice that she was looking after him, though. Grown men usually didn't want another mother.

"Girls?" she echoed, nodding some. She was mournfully jealous. Laura probably wouldn't look very nice in 'very little clothing;' that scar was incredibly intense, and anyone who'd ever been involved in crime or had done high school dissection would be able to guess at its cause. Still, she felt bad that he had been uncomfortble.

"I'm not fond of these group activities. I don't like to go outside during the day. Spending time with you, inside, is much more to my liking. It's safer. More shadows, and artificial light makes everybody look bad. I am hoping that I am not drawn into one anytime soon. Skating was boring for me. I wish it had been remotely fun, but I find no challenge in balancing anymore, nor do I marvel at speed. I did not make any deep connections with my fellow inhabitants today, and it sounds like you also came up blank. Still, maybe they'll stick us together sometime. Then we can at least talk right at that moment about a complete and total lack of fun."

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meticulous_soul
2009-02-14 03:16 pm UTC (link)

"Well... it is more than that... it is simply that logic keeps me sane, and my sanity is something I have that I value deeply. Without that, I cannot imagine living." Truly, in life, L would have been worthless without his ability to reason and deduce. Watari would have found a different prodigy, and he would have been a forgotten child with no salvation or hope of rising to status and renown. "There are many more reasons, though, to live," he said, glancing sideways at Laura. "Logic is, actually... only a reason to die. Without logic, we would all live forever." It made sense. Logic was rules. Death was life's biggest rule, one that everyone had to follow.

"Too nice? How can I be too nice?" L asked, puzzled. "You are nice to me, as well... and I like it." He reached towards his dark hair, twisting a strand compulsively. "It's human, to want to return what's given to you. As for the 'Laura-as-person Theory'... well. Gravity is a theory. It was never proven, as no theory is proven. Yet I have never met anyone who denies its credibility, and I don't think I will meet anyone who denies yours." he said the words simply, resolutely, direct and to-the-point. In his mind, that settled it; Laura was a person. "Also... you think. You are sentient... is that not a hallmark of being a person?"

He was intrigued, to hear the list of attributes that Scorpios possessed, and he would have been fascinated to hear that they were the only signs that could understand each other perfectly. He had never understood another person, even adequately... "From what you say, you are definitely a Scorpio," he allowed, a smile flickering across his face and actually reaching his eyes. That was happening more frequently, lately.

L couldn't even begin to imagine what problem Laura could have had with her body, even though she had named them. Though L did not consider himself attractive or masculine, he had never wished for more muscle, or a stronger jaw, or broader shoulders... it had never occurred to him, to want something his body had already determined he would never get. "I am glad that it is no longer a concern," he said, "because you look fine. And you seem to have a better perspective, on soul..." it felt strange to use that word in earnest and not mere speculation.

"It sounds like a good... deal," L said, stumbling slightly over the unfamiliar turn-of-phrase. "Lunch, and then baking... I am enjoying this afternoon," he said suddenly, as they entered the cafe and took a seat. A Golem noticed their arrival and started getting lunch ready, one platter free of meat and with ample fruits, eerily aware of the guests' tendencies and preferences.

L tilted his head to the side, clearly not understanding why women would be so different from men, on such an outing, and why Laura might care. "Yes... two girls," he said blithely, watching the Golem put strawberries on his platter. "They seemed to have more fun than I ever could, in such a situation." he was happy to hear that Laura also disliked the group activities... it seemed that they had very much in common, and it was continuing to prove so. "I like spending time with you indoors, as well," he agreed, nodding and leaning forward slightly. Eager was the name, for that combination of signals. Interested. Engaged. L did, actually, consciously think about those things when he made the slightest movements, they were so unnatural to him. "I would be grateful, if we were put together. We could complain about the same things," he said, the pessimistic humor of the situation striking him as worth laughing at.

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spitandviolets
2009-02-15 01:00 am UTC (link)

"Logic as a reason to die?" It was an interesting thought. For some reason she always associated a lack of logic with death. When people didn't think about the consequences of their actions, such as her own case, they often ended up with the worst possible result. But death wasn't the worst possible result, was it? She imagined that being a vegetable would be worse. Or coming back to the land of the living even though you were dead. That one was pretty awful. Death itself was not that bad. It was release; there was certainty. "Logic as death. You're getting Biblical on me. Yes, you are right in that sense. I was never religious, at all even. You could say that my family was aethiestic. I do know some stories from the Bible, though, and I know that it says that knowledge, logic, is why we die. What do you think would have happened if first woman, then man hadn't eaten the apple? Also, how do you feel about the whole Lilith issue? Early Biblical mythology is fascinating."

It hadn't been exactly what Laura had wanted to say. She had wanted to mention something about protecting him even if he was crazy. The image in her mind, of him having lost his sanity, was depressing, though, and she was glad that she hadn't said anything. He seemed insecure about it, and she didn't want to make him focus on it more. With him, at least, she was slowly relearning tact. It made her more brutal with others, but she could at least shield him from herself.

She almost snorted at the idea of sentience as the hallmark of a person. "Well," she began, "let's try to figure it out through logic." Reaching out, she grabbed the glass of water on the table. She sipped for a while. Her cells, her body, was always parched. "If being a person means that you're sentient, then that implies some degree of thought. If having thought means being a person, then being a person means having thought. However, there are some people who do not think. There are some incredibly thoughtless people. They are, however, still people and persons, so the logic seems to be flawed." Smirking faintly, she tossed her hair back, legs crossing. Hopefully he'd be somewhat impressed at her attempt at logic. It may have been flawed, but it was kind of fun. "How'd I do?"

Her eyes wandered to the Golem as it was cooking. It didn't look all that dangerous. She could probably take it on if she had to. What was the worst that it could do to her? If she couldn't win, she could at least end the fight in a stalemate. Still, part of her truly wished that she could taste. Yes, Laura could eat. It was not abnormal looking in the least. It did, however, present some problems. It didn't taste anything, first of all, so there was no real point. Second, and more importantly, it didn't really have anywhere to go. Her stomach and such had either been removed or tied off; she wasn't quite sure which. She was certain that she could investigate, but it would be messy. It had gotten so bad that she didn't even remember what food tasted like. All she could recall was the cold, dank, dry taste in her mouth, and how it got wet when she drank water.

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spitandviolets
2009-02-15 01:01 am UTC (link)

"If you like spending time with me, then call on me whenever you like. I am looking forward to baking in a bit. It'll be nice to be able to pull the pans out of the oven without oven mitts." Hopefully he caught the ironic humor in her comment. She was trying to be funny. "Among other things, I am, apparently, good at killing boredom. What will we bake, though? We should try brownies, just to see if I can keep them from turning into bricks. Do you like cake? I have a few cake recipes memorized. My favorite kind was chocolate cake with white frosting. Layer cakes were always better because you got more cake and more frosting for your effort. I'll make whatever you want me to, though, since I will not be the one partaking of the sweets. Please, place your order." She glanced at the Golem. "And with me, not him."

Subconsciously registerring his lean, she leaned in as well. It seemed that she was still somewhat responsive to body language. Her chin rested on her hands, head canting slightly so she could listen to him. Did he really like being around her that much? It was confusing. She hadn't even known anybody in life who had thought it would be that nice to have her around that often. Together. It was a strange word, a word that she was convinced that wasn't for the undead. Still, here she was. L considered her a friend. She would do her best to be the best friend, guardian, caretaker, watcher, bodyguard, or whatever else he needed, that he had ever had. It gave her purpose, and purpose gave her a reason to go on existing.

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meticulous_soul
2009-02-16 05:43 pm UTC (link)

"It is logical, that humans have limited time alive... awareness of death is maturity, and maturity is what pushes people closer to that inevitable conclusion. Barring illness and accidents, of course," he added, recalling Laura's circumstance. "Personally... the Bible contradicts itself so frequently and is so convoluted that making true sense of it is impossible. I think that a real God, looking for followers, would be a bit more concise. But... the concept of only becoming an adult when you are fully aware of death is very old, and very logical... and if justice was an ultimatum, only adults would die." he shook his head slowly back and forth. "Until I came here and met you, I was certain that there was nothing beyond death. That it was just... quiet, and dark, and gentle in a sad way. As for Lilith..." he said, circling back, "... no comment. My morals aren't high enough to judge those of some ancient author."

L was insecure about very few things, possessing emotional strength that was unusual in its fortitude, but it was true that he did worry about losing his mind. It was the one thing he could depend on, and had been since his mother had left him alone in a world that did not slow down for someone who noticed too much detail to move at its pace. He listened closely as Laura exercised what she stated, clearly, would be her shot at logic. "It does imply thought, and self-awareness, more importantly," L said, rising to the challenge, liking a good intellectual debate. "It is true that there are people who seem thoughtless, but if a person knows that he or she is a person, that is sentience. To think is not necessarily to be intelligent, but to make connections and inferences based on what one sees, hears, and come up with on one's own, influences aside. The ones who do not think, truly..." L paused, deep, deep in thought. "... the ones who do not think... the ones whose brains have been damaged beyond repair, or the ones who are trapped so deeply inside themselves that thought escapes them... the ones who are gone but not yet dead... I would not call them people." he bit his lip, leaning his cheek softly against his hand. "Your status has been established... but you are not gone. It is the opposite. I have just proven that you are a person," he said, "though your reasoning was very good. It often takes steps of that nature to reach a final verdict."

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meticulous_soul
2009-02-16 05:43 pm UTC (link)

A vaguely worried expression passed over L's face when she joked about not using oven mitts. "Laura, even if you cannot feel pain, your skin can still burn and I suppose that it will not repair itself," he said, knitting his brows together. "I think that you should wear mitts, even if it doesn't worry you." If Laura had known L as he had been even several days ago, she would have known a somber, unpredictable, and childish person who didn't appear to care for anyone. Watari was the exception, partially because of the role he filled in L's life. He was the hand that fed him, and the shield against the world; of course L would care if something happened to a person like that, because it would directly affect him. But even L's infant grasp of emotion, attachment, dedication... even his mind, such as it was, occupied with matters of life and death, could understand that Watari was different, because Watari cared about the person inside the letter. L felt a similar vibe from Laura. L meant more than a computer monitor and an electric voice, it meant a person. The fact that he was expressing anxiety over being burned suggested that he did, equate "person" with "Laura," reciprocating the phenomenon curiously. "I love cake. And brownies... I really love everything in that food group," he admitted. "Layer cake is wonderful. And a request, not an order." he thought about necromantic lore for a moment, about having legions of the dead available to cook for their master. The thought was somewhat disturbing; he put it out of his mind and felt glad that he had chosen to answer Laura the way he had.

The Golem served L's lunch and refilled Laura's water glass, shambling off docilely after a slight, nod-like bob. "Laura... some people know each other, here..." L said thoughtfully. "Do you think it is possible that others from your world might be drawn here?" he swallowed, "Because... I hope that others from my world are not drawn here... it is one reason I have to keep my name a secret."

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spitandviolets
2009-02-17 12:51 am UTC (link)

If it were possible for that cold, pale, porcelain face to look surprised and unsettled, it would have. The things he said sometimes were wholly and completely astonishing. He made her sad in ways, but for some reason she could never see him as a depressing person. He was too interesting, and too understanding and kind to her, to be depressing. She was the first and only real friend she had since dying. He made her wonder if friendship wasn't as fragile and fake as she assumed that it was.

"You were certain that there was nothing beyond death? How? How could you possibly think that? What comfort is there in thinking something like that? In knowing for 'certain' that there is nothing beyond death, human beings find madness. They go insane for fear of the void. I read in a book once that people need to believe in something or else they will go mad. After all, if you knew for certain that there was nothing, then everything would be meaningless. Your own life, the life of those you know, and everything that came before or would come after would be absolutely meaningless. If there was nothing, nothing at all, then people would never get any answers. They would never find the solutions to life's eternal problems. They would receive no solace, even in the moment of their demise. What would be the point in living? What would be the point of existence? No, that doesn't work. It doesn't make sense. Creation is too big, too complex for there to be absolutely nothing. You of all people, with your strong belief in logic, should know that. If you subscribed to the theory of the void, the idea that the universe and all of existence has no creation or guidance, would be undermining the very foundation of your reasoning. A universe, an existence, a world, a life with no meaning exists in a state of chaos, the object of logic and order. I do not see you subscribing to chaos theory. I am so relieved, so glad for you that I know for certain that you are wrong. For if there was nothing else, nothing after, I would not exist. If the existence of a human soul was a lie, of something that's eternal about every single person, I would not so faintly remember finding logic and reason, and I would not so desperately desire to find a reason for my continued existence."

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spitandviolets
2009-02-17 12:52 am UTC (link)

The thought occurred to her that, one day, L would die. It might not be any time soon, but it would eventually happen. As he had said, the awareness of death was maturity; at this point, Laura Moon was a long-overripe fruit as far as that went. It was inevitable. She, unchanging except for decay, renewed by the Norn water, eternally dead but eternally aware, would watch him age. She saw him now, in the beauty of his youth, but she would also see him grow older and older. Perhaps he would find love, would find a wife, would start a family. Why were such things impossible on a planet such as this? People, it seemed, were people no matter where they existed. She would watch his children grow, and she would watch him begin to decline. Eventually he would lose all of the things that he had found, for that was the path of life, and he would continue to degrade. He would, one day, wither before her eyes; he would be a shadow of this young man that she knew, this young man who was both substantially younger than herself and only a few years her junior at the same time. Would she notice? Would she see the gradual change, or would time, which no longer existed for her, simply hit her with the knowledge of that which he had become one moment far, yet not wholly distant, in the future? And once he had withered, had reverted to the ways of an infant, he would die. A lover of books, Laura was reminded of the elves who fell in love with humans in fantasy literature. Was that sense of sorrow, of being forced into the role of the helpless spectator, what they experienced on account of their immorality? L would die the long, dark, inescapable death that she, Laura Moon, would never know. She could never know it. It was as simple as removing the coin from around her neck, yes, but instinct still existed. There was still self-preservation inside of her. Perhaps, by that time, she would be able to give up, to tell someone or herself to remove it. But what if he passed away sooner? Was it possible that she cared about these things, and that was why they came to mind, or was it that she simply observed them as fact? If she did not surrender to oblivion, what would she do? Would she stand guard by his tomb? Would she protect him, her first post-mortem friend, forever, or would she forget about him? All she found was confusion. Did the undead feel compassion? Did the undead know friendship? As her mind raced, Laura's expression was clouded. It was as if she was someplace far away, where no one could reach her. She was a thousand years into the past and into the future. It was horrible, existing in all three spans of time at once.

As quickly as the notion had struck her, it was gone. "Gods are, by no means, concise. They're horrible tricksters, most of them, and the ones that are straightforward are usually more terrible than those who perform underhanded deeds. I believe that gods exist not because they are searching for followers but because they already have them. Real gods are horribly fragmented, conflicted beings. In a modern world, they are all but completely lost. They scrape together a living, barely managing to keep their heads above water. They are as mortal without their faithful as you and I... er... you." The gods that Laura knew, she absolutely did not like. That Wednesday was absolutely deplorable. The things that he did to her puppy...and he, in the end, had been responsible for Shadow's death. It was maddening. There were good gods, though. The Egyptian ones, the ones that she had met in her initial death, were diplomatic and kind enough. She could imagine, though, that those who upset them, or those whose heart did not balance the feather, would not find them so pleasant.

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spitandviolets
2009-02-17 12:52 am UTC (link)

"I give up. It seems that I will never be able to beat you in a logical debate. I will just have to do my best to remember how to be a woman. Women, after all, have the innate ability to counter all logic with anti-logic. Anti-logic should not be confused with illogical assumptions. They're not wrong, they just nullify logic. I will do my best to never engage you in such a discussion again lest I embarrass myself thoroughly. All I have over you, though, is fact when it comes to certain matters, though the facts that I know are mostly insignificant."

"I will not heal if I am burned. There is no supposition about it. Cuts do not cause me to bleed, but the wound will never seal itself. I do not bruise, but any broken bones will never be mended. The only way that I can repair damage done to my body is to stitch it closed myself. That is one thing that the mainstream media gets right about the undead. I understand now why some zombies and Frankensteins are stitched together with thick, black thread or cord. I have found that the planet has provided me with such a spool and an undertaker's needle. I know I could have asked for any color thread, but the black seemed appropriate in my mind. Maybe I subconsciously want to wear it as a mark of shame, a way to warn human beings about what I am. You don't see people walking around with visible black stitches in their anatomy."

She watched as the Golem delivered his food. For someone who liked sweets so much, at least he seemed to eat other things. "Well, you must not do too poorly at knowing what to eat. Since you consider sugar to be a food group, I was expecting the planet to pick up on that subconscious desire. Yet here your plate is, full of things that are good for you. I will have to spoil you later with a layer cake, then, if you eat everything." That wonderfully crooked smile spread across her face. She was teasing him, in treating him like a little kid. It was fun in a way. She felt distantly happy. At least she still had the capacity for jokes. "Chocolate with chocolate? Or chocolate with white? Or something completely exotic and interesting?"

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Wow, sorry for the long winded!

spitandviolets
2009-02-17 12:52 am UTC (link)

Though he was doing his best to hide it, Laura could sense the trepidation in his voice. L genuinely did not want others from his world to appear. It seemed the closest to fear that she had seen in him. Unlike his concern for her, this seemed more like fear to her. "Some people know each other here," she echoed, nodding her head. Gathering her thoughts, she sipped her water. Her grip on the glass, though, was too strong. The glass shattered in her hand. Fortunately, the water was already gone. Laura was always thirsty. Something akin to blind rage was bubbling up inside of her. It was that same horrible anger that she had experienced when she'd killed those two men who were hurting her Puppy. She wanted blood. She wanted human blood. She wanted the blood of the ones that L did not want to appear. Managing, barely, to center herself, Laura looked up at L. Her eyes were wild; there was something behind that look. It was grave, and it was unsettling. "Some people know each other here. This means that it is possible for people from the same world to be drawn to this place. Do I think that it is possible that others from my world might be drawn here? Yes, I know for a fact that it is possible. Do I think it is possible that others from your world might be drawn here? Yes, I know for a fact that it is possible." One icy hand reached out as she stood up, leaning over the table. She took his hand with her icy one. Her strength was incredible. Her grip was firm, like a knight swearing allegiance to a lord. Her unblinking eyes stared straight into his face. "I swear to you, however, that if any of the people from your world appear, that wicked boy with a murderous notebook who was supposedly your friend, or his wicked bitch of a girlfriend, or anyone else that you find unsavory, I will protect you. I will protect you. They will get one warning from me. I will make sure that they understand the gravity of that warning. If they harm so much as the air around you, if they try anything at all, then I will claim their heads and make their lives a living Hell." Not wanting to hurt him, she let his grip go. Drawing back into her chair, curling into herself, Laura became a ball of brooding darkness in that instant. If they came, they would have only one opportunity. They would suffer at her hands. Even if she could not kill, she could wound. What was the worst that they could do, write the name of a woman already dead in their notebook? Let them try. She chuckled darkly, shaking her head as the Golem cleaned the glass and set a new glass of water before her. She sipped at the crystal liquid. Let them try.

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lol, it's all good. I admire your skillz and endurance, lol

meticulous_soul
2009-02-17 08:59 pm UTC (link)

"It isn't comforting... but most of what is comforting in the world is a lie, I've found," L said, taking a bit of melon delicately between his thumb and forefinger and savoring a small bite. "Maybe I believe in justice, and the idea that the world will be a better place when I am gone for future generations until there aren't any human beings left. On earth, that will happen, someday... the Sun will expand and engulf the Solar System, eventually, even if humans survive as a species for that long. It is maddening, and pointless... but maybe that's what makes humans what we are. We challenge everything, fight against the impossible, work towards a goal we can never achieve. We give our lives for causes that are subjectively good or evil, and dedicate them to what some humans have called noble and others have named corrupt. But... like you... I am glad that I am wrong. I am glad to know that there is something after," he admitted, conceding softly and gracefully as he truly was relieved.

"I like hearing about the gods from your world. It's all very interesting," he said, nodding to emphasize his fascination with the topic. He had no idea that she was, even now, thinking about his death... but it would have disquieted him, to think of her state of existence and how it made time seem nonexistent. How, if the way time passed for a person was relative based on their lifespan, his life would pass Laura by in a flash. It would have been strange, to attempt to relate to Laura with the knowledge that he would soon be dead, really dead, in her perception of time.

"Ah... it is unfair, to women, to generalize that way," L chided gently. "I have known some logical women. 'Anti-logic,' given your premises from your world and how they work with the ones in mine, is an apt way of putting it, though your logic is far from bad. Please don't think that you need to avoid this topic of conversation, as I enjoy it thoroughly."

Even the mention of black stitches, horrific and reminiscent of Frankenstein as it was, couldn't distract L from the promise of layer cake. Not that L found Frankenstein horrific; this was the man who had been disappointed to hear that he wasn't something like a Frankenstein monster. "Chocolate... and chocolate," he decided, his simple desire for something familiar winning out. "Perhaps, once this place feels more like home... we can try to make something exotic."

He started slightly at Laura's sudden change in demeanor, when she heard that he was, in short, afraid of meeting with others from his world. With Light, in particular. He flinched, his shoulders tensing, when the glass shattered. "Laura... it's OK," he said as she took his hand, his eyes wary. They widened when she made her solemn promise, and he was speechless for several moments after she returned to her seat.

"Laura... you... really mean that?"

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