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bleached_wonder ([info]bleached_wonder) wrote in [info]mirage_rpg,
@ 2009-02-08 18:33:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:astor bennett, complete, day 31, spike

Who: Spike and Open :)
When: Day 31 morning
What: Spike gets a snack..
Rating: PG or lower so far.
Status: Incomplete



Spike grumbled, sniffing the air around him, he was hungry enough to eat a whole restaurant full of people. Of course his soul wouldn't let him do that, so he'd have to settle for blood from a fridge or something. If he could find where the damn kitchens in this place were. He'd had a rough night, he normally slept in the day, but hadn't really had a chance, so he'd decided to catch up in the night, so he'd be fresh for whatever was thrown at him next. Stupid soul seemed intent on sending him insane. Again.

All he ever dreamt about was blood, killing,. the chase, his prey, the pounding of all the blood around him, then he'd dream of sceams, and pleads that he'd ignored. A million faces in terror, all the people he'd kill. He felt guility. But he didn't feel as bad as he should, it just annoyed him. Everyone expected him to feel so bad, to want to repent. He did feel bad, he wouldn't do it again. But he couldn't have helped it. He didn't have a soul then. They were his natraul prey. Did they feel bad about the animals they mass killed for their substance? He doubted it. Did lions feel bad when they ate gazelles? Nope, so he didn't dwell on it. Didn't stop the dreams and the nagging guilty feeling though.

He made it across to the main building as the first rays of light came up. So he'd be hanging round here for the day then. He found the big kitchens. Ignoring all the smells of humans, amongst other things, the heartbeats, voices he could hear, the emotions he could smell and hear, walking to the counter. "Now planet, if I get this straight I just ask for what I want right now." he remembered that mercy chick the day before asking for the sun to be blocked so he could walk around in daylight. He ignored anyone who could have been in there, not really caring if they thought he was crazy.

"Now some O-negative, at body temperature would be bloody beautiful.." He thought about two steaming bags of blood, and could feel himself salivating. Looking around, before starting as he saw his mental picture become reality on the counter before him. He vamped out, smelling the rich scent of blood. Moaning as he found a mug and using a fang to break a whole in the bag and pouring the steaming bag half in. Taking sip, game face still he moaned loudly. Perfect. A little artificial tasting, not real genuine, fresh out of the human, but pretty close, and in a whole different league to pigs blood.



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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 01:42 pm UTC (link)
Astor had slept well after the Doctor had brought her back to her room. For a second, she'd even felt like someone cared about her here and he might not have tucked her in or given her a good night kiss or anything like that, but he had walked her back and that was more than anyone else had done since Sidney the day Astor had first arrived.

The morning sun wouldn't allow her to go back to sleep once she was awake, so Astor took a shower and dressed, deciding she should get something to eat. Preferably, a cinnamon roll, since Gray said that the Planet had them and Astor loved cinnamon rolls.

She made her way into the kitchen (because, she'd seen enough of the cafe anyway and maybe if she went to the kitchen she'd be allowed to help make the cinnamon rolls!) and right up to the counter, because there was already a guy there having probably his morning coffee like Dex did and maybe he knew how to get the golems to let her make breakfast instead of just having it. But as she got closer, she noticed the bag and canted her head slightly to the side. She couldn't tell what it was but it looked kinda gross. More importantly, the Inside Shadow was wide awake, all of a sudden. That was weird...

"Excuse me, mister?" she asked, looking up at him and trying to crane her neck to see his face. At the angle, she couldn't quite get more than a partial profile. "Do you know how I can get the stone people to let me make my own breakfast?" she asked. "I just got here a couple of days ago and I don't really know how things work yet..."

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-08 01:52 pm UTC (link)
Spike could hear footsteps him, but took no notice. Was a public place after all. He couldn't really smell anything but the delicious blood right under his nose, but he could smell a girl, young, smelt different to normal humans. Then again almost everyone here seemed to be not normal in some way.

She was talking to him. About making breakfast, trying to see his face. He stopped drinking, and spoke to her. "Don't really know, kinda new around here myself.." He turned to face her, still in game face as he put the blood down sharply. She was young. He switched from game face fast, trying not to scare her.

Licking over his teeth, aware of the blood marks on them before placing his hands out, trying to keep her calm, aware he wasn't exactly a comforting looking guy with his demon showing, drinking fake human blood. "Sorry about that.. I'm sure if you ask for the ingredients.." He said calmly hoping she wouldn't panic and scream or something, it was really the last thing he needed right now.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 01:58 pm UTC (link)
"Oh..." Astor replied and then when he turned, her eyes went wide and she jumped, letting out a squeak of surprise at his face. But then, a second later, he looked normal again and Astor thought maybe she'd been seeing things. Except...was that blood on his teeth?!

Astor stumbled a few steps back when he kept talking. "What's wrong with your face?!" she breathed, blinking rapidly as she tried to process what she'd seen. It must've been real if he was apologizing, because he hadn't done anything else except tell her he was new, too, and that was nothing really to be sorry for.

The Inside Shadow was positively roaring for attention, now, and Astor wiggled a little in discomfort. Why wouldn't it just leave her alone? Just for one day, was that so much to ask?!

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-08 02:10 pm UTC (link)
He looked at her, keeping his distance, maybe using some thrall here would help, as a last resort though, that wasn't really his game. But he had learnt from the best, Dru had been a master at it. He smiled gently to the little girl, trying to get eye contact to reassure her.

"I won't hurt you.. promise." He held his hands where he could see them. "That's my real face darling, ent nothing wrong with it.." Her heart rate was through the roof, breathing fast. Breathing wasn't an issue for him. "I'm different from you.. see?" He changed his face slowly, bones sliding into place. His voice sharper now, accent still rich and clear. "But I won't hurt you."

She seemed uncomfortable with something. "What's wrong pet?" He looked concerned, he didn't want to have hurt the girl. She reminded him of what Dawn must have been like when she was younger, confident and brave.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 02:22 pm UTC (link)
Astor stared back at him in a mixture of disgust and shock when his face changed again. Her heart was pounding in her chest so hard she could feel it throbbing in her temples and hear it thumping in her ears. If Dexter was only here--

That was it! That's why the Inside Shadow was being so loud! He had one, too! He had to.

He said he wasn't going to hurt her and he held his hands out where she could see them. He wasn't moving toward her, so Astor stopped backing away and just looked at him. His accent sounded like Mr. Hunt's...and he'd been nice...

When he asked her what was wrong, she furrowed her brow. Should she ask if he had an Inside Shadow, too? Just to make sure? ...would he even know what that was? After all, Dexter called it something different.

"Nothing," she decided on, her voice quiet and breathless as she stared at him. "I'm fine," she insisted, putting on the brave face she usually only reserved for Cody's benefit. She'd been using it an awful lot here lately, though, she'd noticed. "I shouldn't have interrupted you, I'm sorry," she added quickly. Oh man, her mom would totally ground her for a million years if she'd seen some of the rude things Astor had done or said without realizing she was being impolite until it was too late.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-08 02:42 pm UTC (link)
He watched her closely. There was something different about her.

He smiled to her, human face again. He could smell her unrest now he didn't have blood right in his face. "You sure? I can be quite scary..." He knew when someone was pretending they weren't scared when he saw it. That's what made him a great hunter, knowing your prey's fear.

"No need to be sorry.. I was just grabbing a bite to eat, you didn't interrupt anything pet... promise." He smiled to her sweetly, trying to look friendly and warm. He had a serious lack of practice there, but she was getting the Spike that was reserved for Dawn and Fred. His demon was growling inside his head.

"So what you making?" He smiled trying to break the fear and tension. This girl was diffrent, he could sense something inside her. She wasn't a vampire. She was alive, and pretty much human. He breathed in through his nose taking in her scent again. He could smell her blood. Human. He frowned lightly. "Your pretty special then?"

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 02:54 pm UTC (link)
His face changed again and without realizing it or doing it on purpose, Astor relaxed. "You said you won't hurt me, so why should I be scared?" she asked pointedly.

"Yeah...but it was rude to just start talking to you when you were busy," Astor replied quietly, giving him a small half-smile and having the grace to look ashamed beneath it.

Tentatively, Astor took a few steps back toward the counter, keeping at least an arm's length away from him just to be safe. "Cinnamon rolls...but I only know how to make the ones that come in the can thing that you pop open, you know?" she asked. "...are you drinking...blood, mister...? Cuz that's kinda gross..." She blinked. It was too dark to be V8 like her mom sometimes had and she couldn't think of what else. If he had an Inside Shadow, maybe that would make sense, although she hoped she never wanted to drink blood for her Inside Shadow. Then paused. "No, I'm just me," she replied.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-08 03:14 pm UTC (link)
"Well most people think I'm kinda of scary when they see that face, even though I won't scare 'em.." He smiled, he liked this kid, she had a bit of fire somewhere.

"Well I'm not so good with manners, so I shouldn't worry.. not like I'm your mum." he smiled to her. "So no worries.. not like you spat in my food or anything.." He laughed lightly, picking the mug up, and sipping the blood in human face.

"I think I know what you mean.. never tried 'em though.. ask the planet for the ones you can make, maybe give me a bite?" He smiled to her kindly. "I like cinnamon.." He decided to try some cinnamon in his blood later, just for some variety.

"Well yeah.. 'cept it's not like real blood.. the planet made it for me.." He couldn't think of anyway to explain it to her. "See I'm a vampire.. so it's what I eat.. so gross for you, nummy for me.." He smiled to her, looking over her with an amused expression, knowing she was denying her own specialness to hide it.

"I'm cool with that.. so what's just you's name then pet?" He smiled with a wink, but not pressing the girl any further, what she wanted to say, or not to say was her choice.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 03:31 pm UTC (link)
"Well, yeah, that face is pretty scary," she agreed. "But there's nothing to really be afraid of if you won't hurt me, so...I'm not afraid." Actually, she was terrified, but she'd been scared with the weird guy and Moloch, too, and still had managed to keep up her smart alec attitude and keep the weird guy distracted from hurting Cody. So, Astor was a pretty good faker, she thought, anyway.

He was making conversation with her and he seemed nice enough... Before she could even actually vocally ask for it, the canned dough appeared on the counter along with a cookie sheet. "Oh, awesome!" she squealed, distracted from him for a moment as she picked up the can and turned it over in her hand to read the directions. "Oh..." she said, frowning. "I'm not allowed to use the stove or the oven at home..." she murmured, frowning. "This place sucks."

She looked back over at him as he started to reply about the blood and said he was a vampire. "Ohhh...Sam, Sam Winchester was right..." she breathed in awe. There really was such a thing as vampires... But, wait. "Is that animal blood, then?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Because, well, if not, she hoped that this guy stayed far away from Sam...

He looked back at her with some amusement, the way that Dexter did when she had said that tying up the cat and stealing Dex's chain saw was an accident. Like he knew she was lying. God, why did grown ups always seem to know when she wasn't telling the truth? At least he didn't push it...

"Astor," she answered. "What's yours...?"

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-08 03:46 pm UTC (link)
He smiled to the girl. He could hear her heart beat racing, it amused him a bit, she was a brave little girl he decided. "You pretty brave then.. but a vampire can always tell when your afraid even if you don't realize.. so don't worry I won't hurt you." He smiled. "And it's not too bad is it?" He laughed. He'd never seen his own game face. "I've always thought I was quite god looking."

Ge laughed as she frowned about the oven. "Well if you tell me to do I can turn the oven and stuff on and make sure you don't get hurt?" He smiled deciding to be nice to her. He didn't know anyone round here, and it must be scary enough for her here.

He cocked his eyebrow. "Haven't met a Sam round here yet.." he smiled, before looking at the cooling blood swirling it round the mug and downing it. "Not really." He looked at the empty mug. "But it's not from a human.. it's like the planet has made the blood.. but it's not right.. it's fake, doesn't taste as nice.. no real different flavors.." He frowned a little. "But no one got hurt for it.. not even a pig.."

He winked to her before she gave him her name, knowing she knew he knew. "t's Spike." He grinned to her. "Now you making those rolls or not?" he laughed, putting rest of the blood bag and the other one in a large bowl and putting it in the microwave. It had cooled off when they'd be talking.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 03:58 pm UTC (link)
"I'm not afraid," she insisted, frowning. "How would you know, anyway? Even if you are a vampire?" she asked, challenging, even if she thought it might not be wise to bait him, especially when he was being nice. "I said I'm not scared, so I'm not scared," she finished. Pausing, Astor smirked at him. "Well, yeah...the other face is pretty scary but, yeah, this one's kind of nice..." she giggled.

"Really?" she asked, beaming at him. "Yeah, okay, it's really easy, I'm just not supposed to 'cause I could burn myself," she replied and twisted the can in her hands so that it popped open, dough spilling out the sides. She went straight to work separating the buns and putting them on the cookie sheet. "You just turn it on...350 degrees," she said. "There's knobs on the front if it's like my mom's oven at home."

"Sam, Sam Winchester hunts things," Astor said, deciding it would be in bad taste to tell him that Sam hunted vampires, among other things. It wasn't her place anyway. "Well, that's good, at least you're not hurting anybody." She paused and looked up from the cinnamon rolls, looking him in the eye. Her face grew serious. "Spike? Do you ever want to? Hurt people, I mean?"

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-08 04:41 pm UTC (link)
He looked at her with a smile. "122 years of know how.. your heart rate has increased, your breathing too I can hear that, your body has been producing more adrenaline. Which I can smell, that and your sweating more, your body language keeps changing depending on your fear levels.. all classic signs of being afraid pet.." He smiled gently. "But your not scared now.. cos it's all going back to normal.." He smiled to her. Laughing as she said his face was nice. "Thank you pet." He winked to her as she giggled.

"I hope it easy, I've never had to use one before.." He studied the knobs before turning it up. Smiling to her, "Sorted." Watching her get the tray ready.

"Sam your friend then?" He looked at the little girl interestedly. Looking at the serious little girl before him. Leaning down on the counter and keeping eye contact with her, eyes softening.

"Yes Astor, I do. There's a part of me screaming to be let loose, it's my nature. Every-time I walk past someone I can hear there heart beat, smell their blood, feel the life radiating from them, I can smell how good they taste, how sweet their screams would be." He said softly, guessing she was looking for her own answers in him. "Inside me, my demon, it's part of who I am, and it wants to drink real blood from people, to hurt people, and do bad things.. every second of every day." He smiled sadly.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-08 04:54 pm UTC (link)
Astor gave him an incredulous look. "You don't look a hundred twenty-two years old," she said doubtfully. "My grandma's only half that old and she looks way older than you. You look like Dexter's age and that's not anywhere near that old," she added. But, in any case, she listened to his reasons and he wasn't wrong about any of it, so she was inclined to believe him.

"You're welcome," she giggled. "Why do you keep calling me pet?" She'd been called honey, sweetheart, kiddo, and kid, amongst a few more embarrassing others from Cody and Mom, but 'pet' had never been one of them...

When Spike said that the oven was sorted - which Astor assumed meant 'ready' - Astor held up the cookie tray. "Gotta open it up for me," she said with a sheepish smile. "So I can put them in."

"Sort of, yeah, but he's a grown up and grown ups don't want to really be friends with kids," she sighed. "So...he's only kind of my friend, I think."

Spike's eyes softened as he leaned down and looked her in the eye, answering her question. She stared back at him as he spoke, taking it all in, soaking it up like a sponge. "Me too," she whispered. "I can't smell 'em and I don't want to taste anybody...but I want to hurt people and do bad things all the time, too..." She paused. "You have an Inside Shadow like me. Yours sounds hungrier than mine, but I'm still little..."

Licking her lips, she looked back up at him. "Have you ever done it? Killed somebody?" she asked and, before he could reply, because she had the sinking feeling that he had, she went on, "what does it feel like?" A small grin crossed her lips. "Do they beg for their lives?" Her eyes lit up with macabre fascination. Forget Sam, Sam Winchester... Astor found herself a soulmate. ...if she knew what that meant, anyway.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-09 10:23 am UTC (link)
He laughed lightly to her. "What can I say. I moisturize." He winked. "Nah, vampires don't age, I'll be like this until I'm dusted, no scars, no aging, wrinkles or grey hairs.." He smiled. "I don't know who dexter is, but I died when I was 24 or 26.. that was 120 years ago.. so really I'm about 144.." He poked his tongue out to her.

When she proved to have very good manners he smiled approvingly. "Well pet you remind me of someone I used to know, so I call you pet, it's just a nickname. It's a British thing.." He laughed. He looked down at the tray and up an the oven, which was a fancy catering number, raised off the floor about a foot and a half. Deciding she wouldn't reach to easily he smiled to her.

"Hold on tight to that tray pet." He bent down and picked her up, one arm under her thighs, lifting her off the ground to the right level to put the tray on the top oven shelf when he'd opened it, gently popping her down once she was done whatever she had in her mind to do with the oven.

He looked down at her, head cocked to the side. "Why shouldn't grown ups want to be friends with kids?" He quizzed her teasingly, "I bet he is a real friend.. loads of the people I was friends with aren't even a quarter of my age.. so I shouldn't worry about it pet."

He nodded blinking sadly. "No don't expect you'd want to taste someone's blood.. that's a vampire thing.. to be you lot are food.. but not anymore for me." He cocked his head to her, stroking down her hair lightly, his fingertips cool like the room around them. "Yeah s'pose I do.. mine's my Demon, what took over my body when I died, made me a vamp.."

He frowned to her. Looking to the floor with a fair amount of embarrassment, usually he was quite proud, like telling all those stories to Dawn, but this was a little girl alone, with the desire to make things hurt, wanting answers. "Yes. I've killed many people. Thousands." He said the last word quietly, how could he describe this all to such a young girl.

"But it's not the same as if a human had done it." He explain carefully. "Like when people eat meat and burgers. People ar--were my prey, a food source. I didn't have a soul, or a conscience to tell me what I was doing was wrong.. I was always hungry, always wanted more, killed for fun to." He watched her morbid fascination, deciding that maybe this girl needed a guiding hand here.

"When I didn't have a soul it felt good. Really good, watching people scream, cry and die, seducing them, luring them, trapping them, hunting them. 's how I got my kicks back in the day. Their blood always tasted better when they'd been crying. I was the Big Bad. Killed two slayers. I was evil though. Got my soul back."

He smiled sweetly to her looking back up at her. "Learnt that I'd been wrong. Did the right thing more often, it felt better then killing people, even if pigs blood tastes bad.. you just got to find away to control your demon, your shadow." He smiled to her again, hoping she wasn't to shocked, or scared. "Killing doesn't feel good now I've got the soul. It makes me want to kill me. Makes my demon angry, tears me up inside, like the two sides of me are fighting."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-09 12:22 pm UTC (link)
As he spoke, Astor looked back at him, blinking with disbelief. "You mean you're not even alive?" she breathed. "How are you walking and talking?" she asked. Astor couldn't grasp the concept of the living dead or more confusing, still, the undead. "Dexter's my mom's boyfriend," she went on. "They're getting married and I have to miss it," she added sadly. But, when he stuck his tongue out at her, she couldn't help giggling a little.

She smiled back up at him. No one here had given her a nickname yet, unless she counted 'kid' or 'kiddo' and she hated those, anyway. Spike reminded her of Dexter, she realized. He talked to her like she was a grown up even though he knew she wasn't. It made her very happy to be addressed that way. "Okay, I guess that's all right," she said with a little smirk. If 'pet' wasn't condescending (and Astor didn't think it was), she definitely didn't mind it.

He told her to hold onto the tray tightly and so she did and let out a squeal of surprise and amusement when he lifted her up so she could reach to put the tray in the oven. "Okay, all set," she said with a grin. "Now we just have to wait until they're done," she told him.

"I don't know, just most grown ups don't want a little kid hanging around," she said with a shrug. She gave him a small smile when he declared that he thought Sam was a friend. Astor made a mental note to keep Spike a very special secret so that Sam, Sam Winchester wouldn't ever hunt him.

Spiked sounded sad when he said that people weren't his food anymore. She closed her eyes and leaned against his hand when he stroked her hair. The last time someone had done that, it had been Mom before bed the night before she'd ended up here. She missed that sort of a reassuring touch. It made her feel safe, even if his fingers were cold. He called his 'his Demon.' Dark Passenger, Inside Shadow, Demon. At this rate, she'd never keep all the names straight... But what Astor didn't understand was that Spike hadn't had one until he died, he said.

He answered her question saying that he'd killed thousands and Astor looked back at him with awestruck amazement, until she realized that he looked ashamed. Dexter wasn't ashamed and Astor couldn't understand why Spike was. Especially if he lived by Dexter's Code - if the people had been bad people, Spike had done the world a favor. Why didn't he see that?

Astor listened intently to him and her grin fell away. He didn't like it anymore. It didn't feel good to him. She'd chosen wrong again. "Does that mean I don't have a soul?" she asked quietly; ashamed. "Because sometimes I want to hurt somebody so much it aches in my stomach and gives me headaches. Sometimes I want to put my hands around somebody's neck and squeeze until their eyes pop out and I want it so much it makes me antsy and wiggly. And one time, my brother and I tied up the neighbor's cat and I stole Dexter's chainsaw and I wanted to rip that cat to shreds. I wanted to cut it up into a million little pieces and when my mom caught me and punished me before I could it made me so angry," she said, her soft voice harshening as she gritted her teeth. It was as if she was feeling the anger wash over her all over again. In a way, she was.

She paused. "Does that make me bad...?" she asked him, furrowing her brow and putting on the brave face again, because the thought that she was bad and that Dexter had been lying when he told her she wasn't made her want to cry.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-09 01:11 pm UTC (link)
He smiled at her as she breathed, reaching for her hand and putting it where his pulse should be on his wrist. "I'll have to explain that one some time when we're sat down and I can draw diagrams or something.. I don't really understand that one that well." he cocked an eyebrow, smiling at her giggling, sticking his tongue back out at her for revenge for laughing at him. "I'm sure we'll go back sometime.. this hunk o' rock will get bored sooner or later pet.." Rolling his eyes at her picking over his naming choice.

He peered in the oven before grabbing the bowl out the microwave and sipping his blood from the rim in human face, even if it was awkward to keep the mask on whilst eating he didn't want to scare her. "Can't wait.." he smiled to her, "I would offer you some blood, but I don't think it's good for humans.." He cocked his head, amused by the idea of people adding shots of blood to their starbucks.

He watched her reactions to his admission, she seemed awestruck. "Pet.. I did bad wrong things.. I hurt good people, priests, nuns, mums, kids.. cos it was fun for me.. because I didn't have a soul. Now sometimes I want to just grab someone and snap them, because they annoy me and I know that I can.. and I have hurt people since the soul.. but know I know it's wrong.." He smiled weakly. "You have a soul.. you just have another side to you pet, a strong side that wants you to do bad things.. it uses your emotions and your anger as fuel.." He said simply.

He smiled to her. "Doesn't make you bad, makes you more interesting.." He said with a cheeky grin and a gulp of blood. "Just gotta find yourself somewhere to release all those emotions, like that anger at the cat.." He said understandingly. "and then at your mum.. and use 'em to do something.. it gets easier as you get older pet.." He patter her on her shoulder comfortingly as he could. "You've fought hard I bet to stay in control of who you are and what you do.. and your a good girl from what I've seen.. and I've seen a whole load 'a brats who 'ent got no shadow as an excuse" He smiled to her. "Now how long until those cinnamon things are done?"

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-09 01:47 pm UTC (link)
When Spike took her hand, she froze instinctively, her breath catching in her throat. He'd said he wouldn't hurt her, but she hadn't been expecting that. She relaxed again when he simply put her hand on his wrist where his pulse should be. Astor couldn't feel anything, but she'd always been bad at checking wrist pulses, so she pulled her hand away and pressed two fingers against the pulse point on his neck. And waited. She felt nothing. Astor blinked and tipped her head to the side slightly, pushing her fingers a little harder against his skin, because maybe she was doing it wrong. He said he'd explain sometime when they were sitting and he could draw diagrams; Astor took her hand away. Did that mean he would spend time with her again? "I hope it happens in time for me to go to Mom's wedding," she said quietly. "I'm supposed to be the flower girl."

Spike said he'd offer her some blood except that it wasn't good for humans and Astor wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That's okay, Spike," she said slowly, "I don't want any anyway." She stuck her tongue out at him, this time.

When he went on Astor's excitement deflated further. He was sorry. Suddenly, he seemed far less Dexter-like to her and in a place where she was groping at nothing to find someone to take her under their wing, the idea that Spike wasn't it, either, made her sad. Would she ever find someone?

To be fair, though, Spike was doing one thing Dexter hadn't ever even tried to do. Spike was telling her what the Inside Shadow really was and how it worked. But, he said she wasn't bad and took another gulp of the blood, making Astor pull a face a shudder a little, and then said that she just needed to find somewhere to release all the anger. Like...an outlet? she wondered to herself. She felt a little relieved that he said it would get easier when she got older, but then she thought of Dexter again and furrowed her brow with thoughtful confusion. Maybe Dexter's control was the way he seemed to be fooling everyone into thinking he was normal. Maybe his outlet was the bad people. Maybe Astor was completely off and she'd never understand or maybe Spike was mistaken.

She took a deep breath and looked back at him. "It's okay if you say no, but..." she let her voice trail off and fidgetted nervously. Sam, Sam Winchester had said he would try to help her, but Sam had also said that he didn't understand. Spike clearly did. But, she'd just met him and he was a grown up with probably better things to do... "Can you help me?" she practically whispered, cheeks burning with shame. She cleared her throat and tried to speak louder. "Will you show me how?"

Astor shifted herself from one foot to the other awkwardly and looked down. He could say no and she'd just keep asking Sam, but Sam would never understand; couldn't ever understand. A small part of her, hidden deep beneath the awakened Inside Shadow, wanted to ask him to take care of her. Nobody else would ever get it and she'd never be able to tell anyone else. Dexter had said not to and so had Sam. People would be afraid of her and Astor was already lonely enough without Cody.

She'd never ask Spike, though. Not out loud. Partially because she didn't want to be rude but mostly because she thought if she really did ask him and he said no, she'd be too embarrassed to talk to him anymore and Astor needed someone like Spike. If only to feel like less of a freakish version of what a little girl her age should be. Sidney hadn't seemed comfortable with Astor asking about when she'd killed Ghostface. Sam had looked at her with something akin to fear in his eyes when she'd started asking so many questions about the things he killed. Rose had chastised her for her opinion that bad people deserved to die. How many more people would she end up unintentionally alienating or very intentionally shutting out?

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-09 01:47 pm UTC (link)
"Fifteen minutes," she replied at his question of how much longer until the cinnamon rolls were done. Her eyes were still on her feet, because she was still uncomfortable with herself. Even if Spike seemed to understand exactly who she was and how she worked, he wasn't like her anymore, he'd said. Astor was alone. Without Dexter, no one would ever be just like her, she was coming to realize, and it was a very, very lonesome and sad feeling that was overcoming her at the thought. She sighed. The cinnamon rolls had seemed like a really good idea at the time, but with every minute that went by, Astor had less and less of an appetite. The cinnamon rolls didn't sound so good, anymore.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-09 02:22 pm UTC (link)
Smiling at her reassuringly as he heard her breath catch. He smiled as she checked his neck for a pulse. Laughing lightly. "Doesn't matter how hard you press if their 'ent a pulse to take." His eyes glittered in amusement to her efforts. "Don't show up in mirrors either pet." He patted her reassuringly on her shoulder again, giving it a light squeeze. "And I'm sure you'll make a pretty flower girl n' all." He smiled to her warmly. He was liking this little girl a little more 3D then most the kid he got to meet.

He laughed at her turning down the blood. "Sure? O-neg.. very tasty.." he winked laughing to her, acting shocked as she poked her tongue out. "Knew their was a kid in their somewhere pet!" he laughed lightly.

Their seemed to be too much running through her head, like she was over thinking everything that happened with her. She was nervously asking her for help. Like he thought. Little lost girl who needs a hand. Maybe he should start following through with the champion crack. He smiled, she was nervous and had to repeat the question.

She seemed to be fighting herself inside waiting for his answer. He placed a finger under her chin and gently lifted her head, leaning down so they were eye to eye. "No worries pet.. I can hear your tiniest whisper.. I'll help you and show you through everything I can.. promise." He said holding his hand out for her to shake.

"Well what do you want to do to kill fifteen minutes? You can tell me more about your shadow if you like.. I won't judge you, or be afraid.. I've seen and done worse then you can imagine.. so I have no right to say anything about anyone.." He smiled gently to her. It must be tough to be so young and not to have asked for this to happen. "Or we can talk about whatever you want.. TV, Killing People, baking.." He smiled trying to get a laugh or at-least a smile from her. "Or we can go do something and we'll come back.. s'up to you.. I'm stuck in this building for the rest of the day might as well have some fun in here.."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-09 02:56 pm UTC (link)
"Really?" Astor asked, intrigued. "You really don't show up in the mirror?" That didn't seem possible, but it was certainly something Astor would like to see sometime. It'd be like magic or a camera trick. "Cool..." she added absently as she tried to picture someone standing in front of an empty mirror.

"Eeewwww gross!" she laughed when he playfully tried to entice her. "Course there's a kid in here. I'm eleven!" she giggled.

She wiggled her toes in her flip flops and thought to herself that if Mom was around, she'd have nail polish. Even if Astor asked for it, she wouldn't know how to put it on. If the golems weren't so creepy, she'd ask them to do it. Maybe one of the big girls would if she asked really nice. Why she was thinking about that was beyond her, except she thought maybe it was because she wanted to get her mind off everything else for half a second.

But then she felt Spike lifting her head like Mom did when she was crying over something stupid and she looked back at him. She smiled a little and took his hand, shaking it. "Thanks," she said quietly. Maybe he really would help her. That made her feel better.

Spike asked what she wanted to do for the fifteen minutes and when he made some suggestions, she smirked. He was trying to be funny. That was nice of him. "I don't know much about my Inside Shadow," she admitted. "I just know that when it wakes up it makes me really angry and it makes me want to kill people. Things. Whatever," she replied. She paused. "Why are you stuck in here?"

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-09 03:36 pm UTC (link)
He smiled. "Nope.. god who educated you child? I thought everyone had heard of vampires these days.." he said poking his tongue out again light heartedly. "It was cool for the first decade. Now it's just annoying, shaving by touch, or someone else's eyes. Never could check my eyeliner.. when I die my hair it's hell.." He laughed to her, touching his hair as if to check it was there. He wiggled his fingers. "At least I can see my nails." he nodded to the black painted fingertips with a smirk.

"Well let her out sometimes. Don't grow up too fast.." he rolled his eyes laughing. "See, I'm still mentally a kid.."

"Pet I'm here for you, I know how hard it is.. I'll look after you, and protect you if you ever need me too.." he said seriously to her.

Happy that she'd smirked he laughed, downing the rest of his blood in easy gulps. "Well we can deal with that.. easy promise. Do you know anyone else with an inside shadow, or is it just you? Cos if you know how over people cope it could help.." he said gently knowing it could bring on homesickness, he didn't want to make her upset.

"Umm, it's kinda daylight outside right now.. and I don't want to do my Guy faux impression quite yet" He laughed to her, "Vampires equal highly flammable.. why do you think I don't have a tan.."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-09 03:54 pm UTC (link)
"I've heard of vampires!" Astor contradicted. "I just don't know much about 'em. My mom said I was too little to watch those kinds of movies or read those kinds of stories...she said I'd get nightmares," she said, wrinkling her nose. "If you're not alive, how come your facial hair still grows?" she pointed out cheekily, sticking her tongue out at him in return. She blew a raspberry at him while she was at it and felt confident that she'd won the unofficial childish war of wits. When he spoke of eyeliner and showed her his nails, she giggled. "That stuff's for girls, Spike," she said, smiling and shaking her head as if it was the silliest thing she'd ever heard, that a dead guy would wear makeup.

Spike said he'd take care of her and protect her if she needed it. With people like Sam, Sam Winchester around, she started to wonder, suddenly, if she'd need it. She didn't think Sam would hurt her, but... "You don't wanna look after me," she said with a small smile and a shake of her head. "I'm just a kid. Taking care of me means taking me to bed and waking me up in the morning. It means teaching me things while I'm not in school and making sure I eat right and don't get lazy. Stuff that my mom does," she pointed out. She didn't know Spike very well, but she didn't think that seemed like his style. "But...I like that you'll protect me and that I'll have somebody here who understands," she finished.

Her smile faded when he asked if she knew anyone else with an Inside Shadow. "Cody does. Cody's my brother, but he's not here," she said quietly, looking down again. "And Dexter, but he calls his a Dark Passenger," she added, speaking to the floor.

When he said, though, that he couldn't go outside because it was daytime, Astor looked up again. She didn't know what a Guy faux impression was, but she understood the point. "Well...what if you ask the Planet to make it dark out for you for a minute, just so you don't have to stay in the kitchen all day?" she asked. "I bet it would, if you asked real nice..."

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-09 04:13 pm UTC (link)
"Okay pet, well steep learning curves and all, 'cos now your talking to one.." He smiled. Pondering her question. "Don't rightly know pet.. just does.. I just work differently from humans is all.." he rolled his eyes at her. "You missed out on punk rock.. all the cool kids wore eyeliner and nail polish.." He laughed. Blowing his own raspberry at her poking his tongue out. His tongue bright red from the blood which had stained it. "And I look great in eyeliner I'll have you know.."

"I won't do sole carer thing but I can do some of that stuff.. back where I come from I used to do that stuff for a girl.. lil' bit was a bit bigger then you, but I took care of her." He said gently. "But you seem to be able to take care of yourself just fine so far.. but you can always ask me pet.. I like you, your some fun.." he laughed, before looking in her eyes again. "But I'll always be there to understand and listen.." He said honestly.

"You sure like this Dex.. how does he cope? Don't worry, their safe, your safe, one day you'll see 'em again.." he smiled to her brightly. He didn't know for sure but he was good at pretending. He looked to the door. "I can get round this building okay, all the inside bits, but the outdoor stretch to the rooms is a little too far.. don't bother the planet.. I can hang round this place for a while.. not much to do at my room."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-09 05:47 pm UTC (link)
Giggling, Astor nodded. "Okay, fine, I'll learn fast," she promised. "Were all the cool kids girls?" she teased.

Astor blinked and looked back at him. She'd sort of been hoping he'd contradict her, but she hadn't expected him to, really. "I'm taking care of myself because I have to. I'm trying to be a grown up and I guess I'm not doing too bad, but thanks. It'll be nice to know if I need something, somebody's there," she admitted.

"Dexter doesn't cope. He just waits until he can find a person that deserves to die. And then he kills them," Astor said with a shrug. Sure she liked Dex. He was the only cool grown up she'd ever known until she'd gotten here. "You really think so? There's a man called the Doctor who said he's trying to find a way to get us off the Planet and he promised me he'd bring me home and wouldn't forget me," she said confidently. "I just have to wait until he can figure it out, but he's really, really smart, so it shouldn't be long."

He said he would stay because there wasn't anything to do in his room. "But...won't you get bored?" she asked. "It's a kitchen...there's not even books or TVs or anything," she pointed out.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-10 02:58 pm UTC (link)
He laughed at her. "Nope, all the cool kids were the kids who weren't trying to be cool, and I was a cool kid..." he poked his tongue out rebelliously. "I'll explain punk sometime too.." He poked his tongue out at her again.

He smiled to her relaxedly. "Well whenever for whatever, night or day, I tend to be more useful at night, but I can handle daytimes to pet.. 'ent like I got much else to do round here and your pretty cool for a kid.." He stroked her hair again as she seemed to have enjoyed it last time he'd done it.

He listened to what she said about this Dexter guy. "Sounds like that's his coping method. When I had a chip in my head before the soul I killed vampires and demons instead of humans to make me feel better. Helped me cope.." He smiled to her. ".. hitting stuff helps me a lot actually.." He winked to her, trying to ease any of her worries. "Your a good person pet."

He listened to her describe this 'doctor' guy nodding thoughtfully. "Well if he does tell me pet, I'm dying for some action, and I've only been here two days..." he laughed briefly. Nodding thoughtfully. He hadn't really considered how they get away from this planet. It wasn't like they had a spaceship or anything to help.

"Nah, you can get to other rooms without going outside from here pet, plenty to do.." he winked to her. He looked towards the oven over his shoulder. "How long left on your rolls? Soon as their ready we could explore round here for entertainment if you fancy.."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-10 07:22 pm UTC (link)
"I guess you should," Astor replied. "Because I definitely don't get it," she added. Boys wearing makeup and nail polish? Man, she thought that if boys did that at her school, they'd get beaten up or something!

Spike told her that he'd be there for her any time, even if he preferred night time, and said she was pretty cool for a kid as he stroked her hair again the same way Mom did at bedtime. Astor's eyes slipped shut again and she smiled a little, leaning into his hand again. "You're pretty cool for a grown up," she replied sincerely.

It would be nice to have a grown up around that would take care of her, even if it wasn't exactly like Mom would take care of her. Astor decided she would take what she could get, especially since Spike understood her.

When he mentioned hitting things, Astor raised an eyebrow. "Like...a punching bag?" she asked, a little confused. It made her feel better that he sounded like he really meant it when he told her that she was a good person, even though he didn't really know her very well.

"I'll tell you for sure!" Astor promised.

She hadn't realized that the rooms were all somehow connected and that Spike wouldn't actually have to go outside to move out of the kitchen. "Ooohh..." she said slowly as she nodded back at him. When he asked about the rolls, Astor blushed. "Um..." she said slowly. "I forgot to set a timer...can you pick me up to look?" she asked. "My mom showed me how to see just in case, one time when she forgot to set a timer," she replied.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-10 07:39 pm UTC (link)
"I'll explain it to you." he laughed. He couldn't expect someone her age to understand punk. He laughed again when she said he was pretty cool for a grownup. Rolling his eyes at her. "I'm a hundred and forty something years old.. got nothing better to do then be cool.. being a grown up on the other hand.. I try not to act like one." He winked to her.

"Yeah, punching bags, demons, people but only if their annoying.. and not at full strength.." He said to explain it. He smiled as she promised to tell him when the doctor planned the escape. "I'm sure you will... and if the doctor needs a hand, give me a bell.. I'm pretty keen to get off this rock, and I can do a lot of things a normal human can't."

"No worries pet.." He scooped her up one handedly, opening the oven with the other, easily balancing her on his arm, and pulling the tray out bare handedly with a hiss. "Ouch... hot enough!" He yelped leaving the tray half out on the oven shelf looking at his burnt hand, shaking it as he looked up at the rolls. "They done yet pet? Human cooking isn't a strong point of mine.."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-10 09:47 pm UTC (link)
Astor wrinkled her nose and giggled at him. "You sure like sticking your tongue out at people," she teased.

"I could ask the Planet for a punching bag," she said thoughtfully. "It'd be more fun if it was a person, though," she added with an angelic smile as she looked back up at him.

When Spike offered to help the Doctor, she beamed at him. "I'll tell him next time I see him, for sure!" she said excitedly, bouncing up and down on her tippy toes.

Astor grabbed onto Spike's shirt to balance herself when he lifted her up. She waited while he opened the oven and gasped when he reached out and grabbed the tray with his bare hands. "Spike!" she squeaked. "You didn't have to pull it out! I could see from here..." She knew she shouldn't laugh, but she couldn't help herself. Covering her mouth with one hand, she giggled and nodded. "They're done," she managed between giggles.

Quickly, she dropped her hand away. "But don't take 'em out with your bare hands," she insisted, eyes wide. "There's pot holders just there," she giggled, pointing toward the counter where a pair of them had materialized.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-13 05:33 pm UTC (link)
He rolled his eyes, laughing at her. "Only at you.. normally I'm very mature, and stand off ish.. well mainly I just say immature things and start fights.. but ah well. I'm wise deep down."

He looked at her. "I'm sure there is a room here we could use with some punching bags.. I can teach you how to fight if you like.. and if your really good and I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside you can punch me sometime.." He laughed to her.

She was bouncing round and her excitement was lost on him, so he just smiled and nodded in a slightly overwhelmed way.

He hissed at her, as she mentioned they were done through the giggles, lifting the trays out one handed, ignoring the pain before she pointed the gloves out. He'd already put the tray's down. "Too late pet.." he shook his hand looking at the sizzling marks on it, the earlier burns starting to heal already, thanks to the recently finished blood. "No matter, be right as rain soon.. " He placed her on the side next to the trays. "Now what?"

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-13 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Raising her eyebrows doubtfully at him, Astor giggled. "Okay..." she agreed dubiously, drawing out the word unnecessarily as she smirked at him.

When he said he could teach her to fight, Astor's eyes lit up. "Really?! Really, you could teach me?!" she squealed excitedly. "I'd really like that!"

Astor bit her bottom lip against another fit of giggles when he said it was too late to heed her advice and shook his hand, presumably in pain. "Sure you're okay?" she asked as he set her down. "Now...we eat 'em!" she replied with a big grin.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-16 01:41 pm UTC (link)
He rolled his eyes to her; looking down at his burnt hand. Licking it to soothe it, looking up at her as she got excited by the idea of learning how to fight.

"Sure why not.." He said with a little smile at her happiness. Looking at the rolls and the remaining blood in his bowl with a little grin. "I taught a bunch of thirteen to fifteen year olds how to fight back in sunnyhell, I can teach you.." He gave his hand one last lick before grabbing a pastry.

"I'll be fine.. I heal extra quick. Won't even be a mark after 10 minutes.." he showed her the redness on his hand, which was already looking not as angry as a fresh burn. He dipped the end of the roll in the blood before biting it off. Chewing it before smiling to her.

"These are nice!" He dipped it again and used it to clear up the dregs of his blood. Licking his lips after wards. "You can make me these again missy.."

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-18 02:51 pm UTC (link)
"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Astor squealed happily, throwing her arms around Spike's waist and hugging him with all the strength she had (which wasn't much considering her tiny frame).

She looked up, without letting go just yet, when Spike said that he'd be fine in a few minutes; that he healed extra quickly. "Cool," she said and finally let go of him, backing away a step or two, and taking a cinnamon roll. She lifted it to her mouth and slowly took it away again as she furrowed her brow and pulled a face, watching Spike dip it into his blood. Ew, he was totally ruining it by doing that!

She looked away and concentrated on the scent filling the kitchen to remind herself how badly she'd wanted the rolls. After a minute, she took a bite and nodded to Spike when he spoke. When she'd swallowed, she looked back up at him slowly, in hopes of not seeing anything she didn't particularly want to. The last thing she wanted was to lose her appetite entirely just because he was eating something different. "Pretty yummy, huh? Maybe I will," she replied with a small, proud smile.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-02-20 03:21 pm UTC (link)
He patted her shoulder a little shocked and bemused. "Anytime pet.." This is why vampires didn't turn children. Too hyper and excitable. Could be pretty fun sometimes though.

He laughed at her face, finished with his blood and not interested in anymore human food he willed the dishes and stuff to go away and sure enough a golem appeared and took them some place, he cocked his head and watched the stone creature leave. It was alive and not alive all at once.

"Yeah, there pretty okay I think pet.." he smiled. "Not as good as some warm o-neg.." He hummed happily licking his lips.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-02-20 04:29 pm UTC (link)
Maybe Dexter wasn't around to teach her to kill, but Spike teaching her to fight was almost just as good, so Astor was happy. Today, so far, was a really good day.

When Spike laughed at her expression, without bothering to finish chewing or swallowing, she pulled another face, opening her mouth wide enough to display the half-chewed food inside. "Don't gross me out," she chastised playfully, giggling when some fell out of her mouth.

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[info]bleached_wonder
2009-03-01 02:20 pm UTC (link)
He screwed his face up at her. "That's just unpleasant. I don't need to see how human's digest stuff pet.." He said with a cocked eyebrow, watching as food fell out her mouth. "Fine example of table manners you are.. when I was your age I'd have been caned for that one.." he laughed to her.

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[info]miami_angel97
2009-03-01 03:15 pm UTC (link)
Astor giggled and finished her food, swallowing it before sticking her tongue out at him. "I'd get in trouble if my mom was here but she's not," she said with a mischievous and triumphant smirk. The kind of smirk that said she knew she'd just gotten away with something she'd have been totally grounded for back home.

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