InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'M CHARGIN MAH LAZER"

Spike (chipswiththat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-04-12 14:47:00

Entry tags:

ianto jones, jack harkness, spike

423 - closed
[ At some point, he fell asleep, warm and comfortable and safe in a couch fort with Ianto pressed against his side. He slept and then he woke up and nothing was warm or comfortable or safe anymore. Sitting up with a start, as if from a nightmare, Spike scrambles out of the couch half prepared to find himself in a blood bath again. ]

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chipswiththat
2017-04-14 03:01 am UTC (link)

[ He doesn't protest to the shoving and hugging, though there's definitely some reluctance running through all this. It's a strange position to be in, seeing as the other two seem so calm about all this but it shook him to the core and he has a lot to think about going forward.

So, after a moment, he ducks his head and carefully extracts himself from Jack's embrace. ]

Sorry.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-14 08:22 am UTC (link)

[It's obvious Spike is still very much not alright and even if he isn't in the mood for hugging Ianto is still going to stay close. The idea that seeing Jack alright would help seems like a bit too much to hope for now, but it's understandable. What they all went through yesterday was horrifying but he knows Spike, and knows he likely won't just let this go. The fact that he's the literal definition of a monster must still be weighing on him along with the knowledge that just because he didn't hurt anyone this time doesn't mean he won't in the future.]

We've all put up with our share from the wardens but that was cruel of them.

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foreverjack
2017-04-14 10:15 am UTC (link)

[He hadn't honestly expected Spike to really accept the hug, so he has no problem with letting him go but, like Ianto, he's definitely going to stay close. And that's for his own comfort as much as Spike's.]

It was incredibly cruel. [Lips pressed tight as he remembers Spike's face yesterday, not that today is much of an improvement so far.]

You didn't kill me, okay? You didn't hurt anyone.

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chipswiththat
2017-04-15 12:17 pm UTC (link)

[ But I could've is what he wants to say but he knows by now that it's not an argument that'll be listened to. If it was just this he'd probably be able to shake it, but he also has a vague memory of something like this happening in the future. That makes it so much harder to shake.

Not that he says any of this. That's not how he works. Instead he just nods in agreement, showing that he's understood even if he doesn't agree. ]

I need a smoke.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-15 05:09 pm UTC (link)

[The fact that he couldn't have is what makes all of this so much harder. There's no real way to reassure him because they all know it could have been real, or could still be real. There's nothing to say in the face of that. And he knows Spike isn't saying any of that because he knows how he is with this sort of thing. He gives him a look that silently says he's off the hook, he gets it, he's not going to push because he knows there's no point, just gives his fingers the tinisest brush of his own as he walks over to open a window for him. God knows he's let Kitty smoke in here enough times.]

What happened to you yesterday, Jack?

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foreverjack
2017-04-15 06:57 pm UTC (link)

[He watches Spike withdraw, listens to what he's saying and what he's not saying, and wishes he could read him anywhere near as well as Ianto can. He doesn't have a problem with Spike smoking if he wants, but he thinks Ianto opening the window for him is really cute.]

I don't know. I woke at the same time Spike did, but he didn't seem to be able to see me. There was blood everywhere, but none of it was mine - and none of it seemed to be on me either, even though it was all over where I'd been lying. It was weird - I could still touch things, and people, pick things up, whatever, but it was as if I was existing in a parallel timeline, or just out of synch or something. No-one could hear me or see me or apparently noticed anything I moved. I tried writing down messages but you all just ignored them too.

[He runs a hand through his hair, the remembered frustration, and fear, running through him.] I was right there in the room with you both, while you were both thinking I was dead, you just couldn't see me, or hear me!

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chipswiththat
2017-04-17 03:25 am UTC (link)

[ As sweet as it is of Ianto to let him smoke around here, opening a window and all, Spike had really been banking on taking this opportunity to slip away and take some time to think. Can't really do that now, can he? Especially not if Ianto's going to be all sweet and let him be and honestly, he'd like to listen in on what Jack has to say as well. This is going to stay with him for awhile regardless, might as well get his facts straight. ]

Wankers.

[ It's harsh and hard and dark and full of promises of pain, except you can't punch code so it's all kind of pointless. ]

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readystopwatch
2017-04-17 11:51 am UTC (link)

[The decision to shift the attention to Jac was absolutely a deliberate one and not just because it gets Spike to stay. Frankly he could probably use to have the spotlight taken off of him for a bit. He listens with interest to Jack's account of things, feeling a tight ball of anger and frustration build up inside him that he tries to hide. He can forgive a lot from their captors but this is the first thing they've done that he finds genuinely unforgivable.]

Did anything unusual happen to other people here? I was too distracted to ask around.

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Oops - thought it wasn't my turn for some reason!

foreverjack
2017-04-19 03:19 am UTC (link)

[Spike's comment (and the tone it's made in) gets a small, appreciative grin out of him. It feels good to have Spike on his side in this, and very much echoing his own sentiments towards the AIs. Ianto's support is far less of a new thing but still feels good too. The three of them together, united against a common threat - even if there is frustratingly little they can actually do against it.]

All sorts of weird things. [He was in the perfect position yesterday to observe everything, after all.] Phanan had a kind of similar thing to me going on, in that he couldn't seem to see Chuck, even when she was right beside him. Except she seemed visible to everyone else, just not him.

And generally people were wearing weird things or looking different, or reacting oddly to things or to things that weren't there. A lot of people seemed particularly militant. I couldn't quite work it out - it was almost like AU versions of people or something, except I can't quite see where Spike's thing and people being invisible fit into that.

[He shrugs, and throws in his last weird observation.] Michiru was being followed around by sea cucumbers all day!

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chipswiththat
2017-04-20 08:19 am UTC (link)

[ He did hear about Phanan's issue from Nico, but not really knowing the guy outside of having bitten him once followed by a few increasingly awkward conversations also means not really caring enough to investigate. Maybe it would've been a thread to follow today if Jack hadn't returned, but luckily it won't come to that.

He's quiet for a while, taking in the information, trying to piece it together with what they know of this place. Nothing fits perfectly but one thing is certain. ]

They know how to hit us where it'll hurt the most. Why would they make me think I slaughtered you in my sleep, remembering nothing of it? Because I could.

I have - or will.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-20 10:29 am UTC (link)

It does sound like the picked things that would cause the most pain to each person. As if they picked their darkest fears. [That does fit in with what he's describing for Chuck and Phanan. He's more or less given up on entirely understanding everything that happens here or what the theme of each day is. This one seems like it was just designed to hurt.

He glances as Spike after that last dark comment, not particularly surprised by it. Just because Jack is alright now doesn't mean everything is suddenly fine again. He may not be afraid of Spike hurting him but just like he said, he could and that's the problem.]

Do you still feel like it's a genuine possibility here? That you might lose control?

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foreverjack
2017-04-21 05:01 am UTC (link)

Hmm, giving us our worst nightmares or something? [That at least makes a kind of sense with what he saw yesterday. And is also incredibly mean. The AIs don't usually seem to be so universally cruel. Okay, so there have been nasty things to deal with, like the day Ianto thought he was a serial killer, but nothing on quite this scale before.

He looks round at Spike, frowning.]

This sounds like something I should know about. Something in your future?

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	chipswiththat 2017-04-22 02:11 pm UTC (link)
	[ He nods - might as well come clean with it, now that it might be important. ] Bit fuzzy at the edges, but yeah. Something like this will happen a couple of years down the line... after I got my soul back. [ So, you know. Fun times. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2017-04-23 09:14 am UTC (link)

[Ianto already knows all of this so he lets Spike explain without interrupting him. He doesn't for one moment believe finding Jack alive and well will have taken any of this weight off of his mind, not when it's something his future suggests could still very much happen. Just because it was his worst nightmare doesn't mean it can't some true.]

And you're still not sure if anything specific triggers it back home?

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foreverjack
2017-04-25 08:32 am UTC (link)

Huh. [He's quiet for a moment as he takes this in, along with Ianto's response. Clearly, this is something Ianto's known about for a while, and while it certainly sounds like the sort of thing the Defence Force ought to know about, that's kind of moot now anyway, so he won't make a fuss about not being told.

He will attempt to make sure he's got his facts straight, though.]

This is from that glitch that brought in future you while I got regressed back to the Time Academy, right? One of those things you kind of remember, like dying to save the world?

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	chipswiththat 2017-04-25 08:54 am UTC (link)
	[ For a while in this context means pretty much since yesterday, so it's not as terribly handled as it could've been. ] Yeah... something like that. I know it happened, but I don't know how or why. Didn't even really think about it until just now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2017-04-25 01:15 pm UTC (link)

[He may have only just learned about the specifics but he's always been aware Spike worries about his control and what might happen if he loses it. It's the obvious explanation for why he's so cautious about some things.]

We've all got so many false memories and unusual information it's rather hard to keep it all straight. I wish there was a way to find out specifically what caused it for you at home.

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foreverjack
2017-04-26 08:07 am UTC (link)

[And there he was thinking that they'd shared everything already! Regardless, whether Spike had forgotten it or not, it does help inform his fear of losing control.]

I guess we have to treat it like the fake twenty years thing: as something that could happen but we have the opportunity to try and put in place measures so that it won't.

[A breath.] Somnambulist amnesiac killing isn't a normal thing for your kind of vampire, is it? So presumably there must have been some kind of external cause?

((OOC: And now I realise that Angel had the same thing happen to him too! I never connected the two before!!!))

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chipswiththat
2017-04-27 10:37 am UTC (link)

Not as far as I know, but neither is having a soul. [ So for all he knows maybe it's some kind of unconscious releasing of pressure, like nocturnal emissions only bloodier. Sure never happened to him before, which makes him wonder if there are more downsides to this soul business than he initially thought. ]

Hasn't been anyone around to ask for a long time either, so I don't know what kind of measures you want to put in place, unless you're thinking of locking me up every night.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-29 06:36 pm UTC (link)

I think Jack's right. It has to be like that glimpse into the future; something that could happen, but until then we shouldn't assume it's inevitable. [It's the only way to live with half the things that happen here. Sometimes it really does seem like all they can do is take it one day at a time. Besides, he has no intention of locking Spike up every night and his stubborn expression says as much.]

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foreverjack
2017-05-02 08:31 am UTC (link)

[He shakes his head.] No idea what kind of measures we could take either, actually - except just being more vigilant. Checking in on you during the night when we can, that sort of thing.

[He has no intention of suggesting locking Spike up every night either. Believe it or not, Spike's need to stay in control rather than have it taken from him has got through to him.]

Perhaps some kind of movement monitor for the nights? So we can tell if you are actually doing anything in your sleep?

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chipswiththat
2017-05-03 08:34 am UTC (link)

[ It is kind of nice to hear that Jack did pay attention to what he wants, but even that can change if this continues to be a problem. It's one thing to want to stay in control when you're conscious, a whole other to do it when you're asleep. Maybe he should do less of that for a couple of days, see how it goes. ]

Could talk to Rebecca, she's probably our best bet for any kind of techy stuff. Still owe her for the pager. [ That hasn't been finished yet but still. ]

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readystopwatch
2017-05-03 03:55 pm UTC (link)

[Rebecca does sound like their best option here. He has no idea how much something like this will actually help but it's a start and right now they all need the peace of mind.]

Will you stay here tonight?

[He's a little hesitant to ask and he can't be blamed for how tentative he sounds. It's got nothing to do with distrusting Spike on his own and everything to do with the fact that they all need this after yesterday. It isn't even about sex, they just all need to feel reassured in very different ways. Funny, he's been wanting to suggest something like this for awhile, he's just planned on much better circumstances for it.]

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	foreverjack 2017-05-03 06:28 pm UTC (link)
	Pager? [Then he remembers someone saying something about a pager for Ianto and makes the connection.] Right, yeah, something like that. Rebecca would seem the girl to ask, then! And yes, I think you should stay with us tonight. We could even take it in turns to stay awake to keep an eye on you, if you want? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

chipswiththat
2017-05-06 04:10 pm UTC (link)

[ He's hesitant, partially because he's not so sure he wants to be around people right now and partially because he's absolutely not sure he'll actually sleep tonight. Even after all this time he still skews to a nocturnal schedule and being with two more or less regular humans with daytime hours have only partially changed that.

Shifting his weight, he shakes his head. ]

It's fine. You don't have to do that. I'll probably stay up, all the same.

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readystopwatch, 2017-05-06 05:19 pm UTC

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foreverjack, 2017-05-06 08:31 pm UTC

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chipswiththat, 2017-05-07 01:47 pm UTC

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readystopwatch, 2017-05-07 03:15 pm UTC

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