InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i want to be forever younggggg"

MarinaNova NPCs (marinanova_npc) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2015-07-20 19:48:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, aidan reilly, aigis, angelina burnett, artemis crock, carl grimes, carol peletier, charlotte charles, euphemia li britannia, kitty pryde (aoa), leia organa, mgann morzz, nico di angelo, olivia moore, rose, sam winchester, sarah williams, seyn ayliffe, spencer reid, spike, yuuri shibuya

333 - Rubber Ducky mingle
[Rubber Ducky, you're the one. You make everything so much fun. Which is why you'll find them just about everywhere. Maybe even in that pitcher of tea you just made. Never a dull day here in MarinaNova Asylum. Whether you are trying to beat the heat at the beach or at the pool or running errands you're going to encounter a lot of them.]

(OOC: Event Info)

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thisiscalm
2015-08-17 01:45 pm UTC (link)

I don't know what I feel anymore.

[ And that's part of what he's getting at, needing time and distance to figure himself out. To figure them out, if there's even a them left. He didn't just go home and lose a girlfriend, he had a year and a half of experiences outside of that. Teammates left, got married, came in fresh and new. So much happened and the only thing they ever really focused on what Maeve and yes, that was the big trauma and yes, that wasn't something Kitty should've had to deal with.

There was just so much more to it. Things he's still not sure she ever truly understood and then he remembers that she's 19 and that's a dangerous path to go down. 19 to his 31. Almost 32.

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kitty_has_claws
2015-08-17 02:12 pm UTC (link)

I am very much in love with a man who doesn't exist anymore, aren't I?

[The distance has just made her feel more and more lost and maybe kept hope alive in ways it shouldn't have. She needed to be with him to figure him and them out again. Maybe just needing different things should have been enough to end it, but she'd been so happy with him. She wasn't ready to give that up. It's not that Reid was the root of all her happiness, but he'd been there for all of it. He felt tied to it.]

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thisiscalm
2015-08-18 09:14 am UTC (link)

[ What do you even say to that? What took you so long - no, I'm still here - I don't know? The truth is that it's not nearly as simple as it sounds. He hasn't gone, he hasn't forgotten but things have changed and if she's going to continue to cling to what they were rather than work on what they can be, then he can't be part of this. That was why he broke it off, continues to try to break it off. Why he doesn't feel like he can have a cup of coffee with her.

Not even a cup of coffee. ]

I'm sorry.

[ What else can he say? ]

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kitty_has_claws
2015-08-18 02:11 pm UTC (link)

Reid... [What does she say? What does she need? What does she want?]

I know it's changed. I didn't want to believe it at first. [She was so ready to just have him back and so scared of losing him again. And then there was that damn pearl. That damn pearl that sometimes she very, very, very much wants back. But if she'd never had it maybe she would have been more aware of what was going on with him. More sensitive to it. More... Just more. Too much for him to walk out on.]

Do you want me in your life at all? Because that's not going to happen if we can't talk and spend time with each other and figure out what we mean to each other now. And if you don't then...

I don't want to be where I'm not wanted. [It's been a lot of feeling not wanted lately and it hurts. She knows he's worth the pain, but if he doesn't even want...

Please want it. Want something.]

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thisiscalm
2015-08-19 09:26 am UTC (link)

It's not about what I want, Kitty. That's not how life works.

[ Frustration weaving its way into his voice, tension and anger and everything that's been so tightly pent up that he's about set to explode if he doesn't keep moving. Another reason why he can't have coffee, why he's been locking himself inside to work and work and work until it seeps out. ]

Have you listened to what I've been saying to you? Not just now but – since I came back! I need time and space to work this out, to work myself out and I can't do that if you call me up in the middle of the night for chess! I can't.

Not want. Can't.

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kitty_has_claws
2015-08-19 02:20 pm UTC (link)

[She watches him, listening as he gets angry. Part of her wants to shove him for condescending remarks like, "that's not how life works" as if he's got it figured out and she's new to existing. And then part of her wants to pull him close and tell him everything's going to be okay. She's worried about him, but she's also no less broken. And he's made it pretty clear she's not the one who can help him at least not by being with him. There's a long pause before she responds.]

I've been listening. [Not always hearing maybe. Not always ready to hear things that so fundamentally oppose the things she needed most. And not always confident he was acting in his own best interests. People sometimes embrace the destructive and distracting when they're hurting. She knows that better than anyone and he's had his own ghosts in that department in the past. And she's always been one to look at actions more than words and then there's the wardens' manipulations and the pearls and the deaths and drama with the force and the odds were just stacked so very high against them. Story of their lives.] I've been trying to understand and trying to hold it together. I'm sorry it doesn't feel like that to you. I wanted to help. I wanted to be strong enough for both of us. [Voice shaking a little so she takes another pause, looking down at the stupid, smiling rubber ducks at their feet.]

I'm not going to call you again. [Softly.] Take care of yourself.

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thisiscalm
2015-08-20 09:48 am UTC (link)

[ Maybe that's another piece of the problem puzzle. Trying to be strong instead of admitting to weakness, trying to hold it together instead of talking it through. He sure had a harder time working himself out when she acted like everything was fine. The pearl definitely widened an already large rift between them, made him feel invisible when he was at his most vulnerable.

They've gotten through rougher times in the past. This wasn't supposed to be the thing to finally break them, but here they are. ]

You too.

[ He gives her an apologetic look before turning to leave. It's a small dome. Their paths are bound to cross sometime again and maybe then the scab has been left unpicked long enough to heal over.]

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