InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Cranial infarction!"

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2015-05-25 10:44:00

Entry tags:

charlotte charles, ianto jones, inara serra, kitty pryde (aoa), leia organa, piper halliwell, rebecca crane, spencer reid, spike, tieria erde, ton phanan, trowa barton, yenyoji quryoja

Day 325 [video : open]
Tyki Mikk is no longer in the prison. [She contemplates openly sharing that the Defense Force might be responsible for this, but she doesn't, mostly because too much is unknown. It was not what they intended nor was it what they seemed to have achieved in their attempt. Neither was everyone's powers changing yesterday, but that might be on them too. Or it was just the wardens playing games again.

Leading a team is something she understands. Communication with the people they are protecting is newer. She's not about to miss Lacus, but sometimes she misses having a public relations coordinator even if it sounded ridiculous at first.]

And I need to help people with their chores, so...there's that. [Three people specifically. It's her punishment for the hacking.] Tell me what you need done.

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kitty_has_claws
2015-06-03 12:39 pm UTC (link)

[She closes her eyes tightly at that, grateful that it's just a voice feed. She's actually been thinking about it from time to time. Asking Jack to take over her role, but not leaving. She wants, maybe needs something like this in her life. The structure. The purpose. Even the distraction. But hearing him say it...

She can't really blame him. She falls apart around him and that's not her.]

Not sure that feels better than strategy talk...

[Softer] How have you been?

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thisiscalm
2015-06-03 02:55 pm UTC (link)

Fine. You know... nothing out of the ordinary. [ And that's about all he wants to say on the subject. Closing off, shutting her out because every time he's let her in lately it's ended with another tumble down the ravine of their cracked relationship. Maybe it can't be salvaged but at least he can keep his mouth shut.

He has a lot of practice with that. ]

I talked to Nathan a while back. After, uhm... after Ianto.

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kitty_has_claws
2015-06-03 04:08 pm UTC (link)

[Fine. She's been falling apart and he's been fine? It reminds her of the secret she found from him. "I'll never get over her." The one that makes her feel like she's the only one sad about this relationship, because she doesn't think she's the "her."

She's been trying to leave herself open to him. Which means leaving all the wounds open. Part of her isn't sure if she can just be the person she used to be or if she wants that. And she remembers how good things were when they were good with him and she doesn't want to ruin her chance to get back there if they can. It feels like anytime she does something to protect herself it makes things worse between them. Might help if her coping mechanisms were a little less self-destructive.]

How was that?

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	thisiscalm 2015-06-04 07:08 am UTC (link)
	[ Of course he's not fine. He hasn't been fine for a very long time now, but like hell he's bringing that up again. ] It rattled him pretty badly, but I think he's okay now. We're, uhm. We're going to try and spend some more time together. Get his mind off things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-04 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	That's a good idea. I haven't been around as much as I should. [Just as much as she can.] Or maybe too much. [Nathan was the one trying to help her last time they talked. She's become the depressing roommate. Who saw that coming?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-05 08:15 am UTC (link)
	[ He hesitates, wondering how he can phrase this so it doesn't sound like she's being abandoned. That's not what this is supposed to be. It's about taking responsibility for something he should've been on top of this entire time, and wasn't. ] We, uhm... we talked about that. About... you. [ It's a start. Maybe not a good start. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-05 02:09 pm UTC (link)
	[Oh, she's been feeling abandoned for awhile already.] Yeah? [Gently prompting, not sure where he's going with it yet.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-06 08:37 am UTC (link)
	Don't take this the wrong way, but... [ Oh yeah, that's a great way to continue. ] We talked about him... maybe staying with me one in a while. If you need a break. Nothing decided, just... it was something that came up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-08 03:38 am UTC (link)
	Move back in. [No, it's not that conversation again because...] I'll go. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-08 03:55 pm UTC (link)
	Kitty... I'm not moving back in. [ Maybe he was the first one to move into that apartment but it was always theirs. She spent plenty of time there before she moved in officially. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-06-08 04:14 pm UTC (link)

I don't think I should live there without you anymore. I don't want them to clear it out either, but [softer] it's just this nonstop reminder. [Of a time when she was happy. A time that is at best on hold and at worst a painful memory. Which she wouldn't want for him either, but at this point she's pretty sure the only person he's mourning is the one who was never here.]

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	thisiscalm 2015-06-08 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	...It's just an apartment. [ He knows that's not all it is and hopefully she can tell by the tone of his voice that this is him trying to justify letting it go, not downplaying its importance. ] We can always empty it ourselves. [ Closure. The hardest thing to find in life, apparently. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-08 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	[She can hear, or she thinks she does. She's been second guessing pretty much everything when it comes to what Reid feels and felt lately.] It used to be a home. [Her home. Their home. That's why she can't be there.] I don't want anything, but I'll tell you before I go. I need to talk to Nathan about it anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-09 07:31 am UTC (link)
	[ There's no way he can feel good about this but there's a sense of relief. Moving out of the deadlock. Actually letting go for a little while. ] Okay. That's... that's fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-09 12:50 pm UTC (link)
	Probably sector 4. [Because he should know where and because she's claiming it in case he's thinking of something more permanent.] Are you going to keep living at Rebecca's? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-09 12:52 pm UTC (link)
	[ He shakes his head, which is less helpful when all this is through voice. ] I can't stay on her couch forever. I'll find a place. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-09 12:55 pm UTC (link)
	Should we just ask Nathan where he wants to live? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-09 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	That was what I was thinking. It's not like he's a kid who can't decide for himself... maybe he doesn't have to choose either. We could have, ah... [ Okay, this is too weird not to at least huff in amusement. ] ...joint custody. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-09 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	[She closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about the baby that wasn't. Leave it to the wardens to take away the man who loved her and then show her visions of what never would be.] Yeah. [A little too softly. She swallows hard and pushes forward.] I'll have some extra rooms anyway. Never know when my zombie ninja might come back. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2015-06-09 03:45 pm UTC (link)

Right. You never know. [ He doesn't feel entirely steady on the voice, falling back into more familiar territories with her. The shy, awkward mumbling of when they first met, when he hid away from Thanksgiving dinners and social gatherings. When he never really knew what he could say to her. When she was still the girl who impaled trees for fun and set fire to bars when she was wronged.

It's been a long day. Days. Forever. ]

I should, ah... leave you to it. We'll keep in touch.

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kitty_has_claws
2015-06-09 03:51 pm UTC (link)

[She's changed a lot and doesn't always know who she is right now with the grief and pain but also just the growth in an environment so different from the one that forged her in the first place. She's starting to slowly get back to something more solid. Something that works even if it doesn't feel good yet. Maybe she'll never be the girl who impaled trees for fun or sets fire to bars again, but maybe she'll get her confidence back. Her smoking habit is definitely back.

He gets a useless nod at first.]

Right. Chores to do. See you later.

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