InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I do have a blood kink..."

The Auditor/Liam Trembley (theauditor) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2015-03-23 11:26:00

Entry tags:

:liam tremblay, alex karev, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), martha jones, pavel chekov (au), rose

DAY 316 — Morning Greeting
Hello, inmates. Remember me? I visited a couple of weeks back, asked y'all some friendly questions? Hi.

I don't know if anyone caught on, but I'm not exactly like you. For starters, I'm not a filthy criminal. I work for the boys upstairs and they thought it'd be a good idea if me and Francisco took a closer look at you, seeing as you couldn't keep your noses out of places where they didn't belong. Maybe not go through surprise doors, hm? Save me a return trip?

Anyway... I'm here to tell you that you're damn lucky. We were just about ready to shut y'all down, you know. Pull the plug. Can't have a breach like that. I'm sure you understand. But then we got thinking... what if we didn't? Not like you seemed to hurt from it. I mean, you must've known by now... no one can be that stupid!

So... congratulations. We're not shutting you down. We're not even going to pretend that this isn't all in your itty bitty heads. Call it a... a show of faith in your ability to continue as if nothing at all has ever happened. You can do that much, right?

[ He makes a start to end the feed, but stops himself. ]

Oh, oh right... good morning and all that shit. Here's Uptown Funk.

[ The feed ends with a jaunty tune blasting over the speakers ]

((ooc: this morning brought to you by one of the auditor. Confused? Check out this info post! Liam is available for chatting, but if you have requests that can't wait until next dayweek the warden request post is your best bet. This isn't his job. ))

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	theauditor 2015-03-24 08:33 pm UTC (link)
	Because, believe it or not, when people think that there's a loophole they tend to fuck around until they find it. Can you imagine the amount of paperwork I'd have to do, coming out here every time you can't keep your fingers to yourself? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-25 04:44 am UTC (link)
	Sounds just awful. You could get a papercut in the line of duty. So are you saying it's not an experiment? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-25 10:27 am UTC (link)
	[ Deliberately slow and with careful articulation. ] Yes. This is not an experiment. Go back to sleep. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-26 03:36 pm UTC (link)
	Are you an AI of some kind or is everyone who runs things condescending? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-26 05:41 pm UTC (link)
	Harsh! How would you feel if I went around calling you not real? Jeez la lake Louise... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-27 02:39 am UTC (link)
	Mmhm. [Sticks and stones?] What would have happened if you'd shut us down? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-28 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	What do you think happens when you pull the plug, Miss Advanced-Electronics? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-28 09:25 pm UTC (link)
	Why spend all this effort on us just to scrap us? Not that you are or anything since you're being so generous and all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

theauditor
2015-03-29 06:07 pm UTC (link)

Okay, let me put this in terms you might actually understand.

Imagine you're making... a stew. You've bought the finest ingredients, you've prepared them with all the love you have in your teeny heart, you've cooked it with care for hours until it's just so... and then someone goes and takes a massive shit in the pot.

Would you eat that stew or throw it out?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-29 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	If you didn't want to eat that stew then why did you go leaving keys in Easter eggs? Sorry. Kind of wanted out of the horrible metaphor. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-29 09:53 pm UTC (link)
	Oh yeah, why did we do that? Seems silly, don't you think? Oh, wait. We didn't. Duh. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-29 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	[Well, that is an interesting confirmation.] Then who did? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-31 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	Nunua. As in, none o' yo business. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-31 09:53 pm UTC (link)
	Did you read a teenager's guide to speaking to inmates before this little announcement or something? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-31 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	You know, I did! And your name was on the cover! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-03-31 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	I'm a well-respected guide writer. So, was it someone inside here who gave the key? Glitch maybe? [Just ignoring that bit about it not being her business.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-03-31 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	You really think I'm going to tell you if you nag long enough, huh? Teenagers. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-04-01 02:33 am UTC (link)
	Worth a shot. I'm all young and foolish that way. [The driest.] I'm just surprised that you either had a pretty intense security breach or an impressive oopsie. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-04-01 06:57 am UTC (link)
	Hmmn, do I need to remind you that you're a prisoner? Not a co-worker? Besides, you couldn't wrap your head around our system even if you unraveled your brain like a ball of yarn. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-04-01 02:14 pm UTC (link)
	[Well, this is getting nowhere fast, but she still has questions. Might as well throw them against the wall and see what bounces back.] Why are there bunks in the actual prison? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-04-01 02:16 pm UTC (link)
	What, would you rather be strung up in the ceiling? Because I know a guy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-04-01 02:24 pm UTC (link)
	I'm just wondering if it's a fail safe or a plan. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-04-01 02:25 pm UTC (link)
	Again. You, prisoner. Me, guy who really doesn't care to tell you. Got it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-04-01 02:29 pm UTC (link)
	What's your position, guy who doesn't care to tell us? Are you an engineer? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theauditor 2015-04-01 02:31 pm UTC (link)
	Auditor. Administrative stuff. I leave the engineering to the nerds. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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kitty_has_claws, 2015-04-01 02:32 pm UTC

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theauditor, 2015-04-01 02:38 pm UTC

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kitty_has_claws, 2015-04-01 02:39 pm UTC

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theauditor, 2015-04-01 02:42 pm UTC

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kitty_has_claws, 2015-04-01 03:14 pm UTC

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