InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "FRUITY MONSTA FRUITY FRUITY..."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-09-29 09:40:00

Entry tags:

carol peletier, damon salvatore, data, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), nathan harris, spencer reid

Day 291 [Action:Closed] [Action:Open] [Video:Private]
[Action | Closed Reid]
[She wakes up on the floating island with the blaring and vibrating of the giant speakers below her. She can't really process the message, and as it turns out that doesn't really matter to her at the moment because everything that happened yesterday is taking on a whole new context. She threatened Reid. She threatened Reid. He looked so hurt. So did Nathan. She reaches up to call him only to remember she left her communicator by the bed. She'll just have to get there herself then. Without another moment's delay she phases, dropping right through the island and getting herself to the apartment as fast as she can.]

Reid! Nathan!? [Calling out their names as soon as she drops in through the ceiling of the kitchen as it turns out.]

[Action | Open (After the breakup)]
[Nathan is still in the hospital. Reid is...wherever he went. The apartment is all hers at the moment and she has no intention of going back there until she's too exhausted to be awake long for it. She's not sure if she wants to avoid people or be with them, so for now she's just walking without paying much attention to where that takes her.]

[Video | Private to Data]
Data? You there?

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	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	...Is it? Is it real if we can't even remember it happened as soon as we're not here? Or... even when we are here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2014-10-01 05:40 pm UTC (link)

[She stops walking and turns to him.] You saw me yesterday. And, yeah, there was the shock of waking up somewhere different, but it was more than that. I've changed since I've been here. I can cry when I'm hurt and fall in love and be afraid when the people I care about are in danger. I've changed a lot. That's real to me. I'm not ready to let them get into my mind to the point that I can't believe in anything or anyone.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 06:10 pm UTC (link)
	[ It's coming to a point so quickly and although he doesn't want to say it, doesn't want to believe that he's really fallen this deeply, he can't avoid it. It's not fair to any of them. ] ...I can't. Not anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 06:13 pm UTC (link)
	Reid... [Her voice is soft, and she sounds worried. For the moment it isn't the worry for their relationship. It's just worry about him and his mental state.] I know there's been a lot lately, but you're strong. You can get through this. You're not alone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 06:21 pm UTC (link)
	[ It's not great. It hasn't been great for a really long time, as much as he's tried to fight it. ] Aren't I? What's stopping them from taking you away again? Or anyone else — Garcia was only here for a couple of days this time and now she's gone too. Again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 06:29 pm UTC (link)
	No. You're not. No one in any place in any time can promise that something won't happen to them. All we can do is make the choices we can make. And for as long as I can choose it, I choose you. [She just needs him to choose her back.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-10-01 06:37 pm UTC (link)

[ He really wishes he could be as strong as she thinks he is. As loyal as she is, but he's so so tired and it just seems like every turn, every attempt leads to yet another thing he's forced to deal with. He's been back over a month now and it's been one thing after the other. Knocking him down every time he thinks that he might be getting back up. He wishes he could say that he loves her and feel like it matters, that he could look her in the eyes and choose her every single time.

He wishes he could feel like he's good enough, but he doesn't. He isn't. ]

...I can't do this anymore. [ So quietly he'll be surprised if she even heard him. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 06:40 pm UTC (link)
	[It's a good thing he's the only thing she's paying attention to now or she might have missed it. Then again, she wishes she'd missed it.] ...What... What does that mean? I'm pretty sure we both just came down on the side of suicide attempts being bad. [How many people in her life is she supposed to watch give up in one day?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 06:47 pm UTC (link)
	[ Eyes firmly glued to the ground, he shakes his head. Not suicidal. Not enough to make good on the possibility, at least. ] I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Kitty. Everything I try... it doesn't help. It changes nothing, it just... hurts and it's hurting the people around me and if I can't fix this, then- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 06:51 pm UTC (link)
	Reid, you don't have to change everything in a day. Just take one step and then another. And lean on me more if you need to. You saw me carry most of Clay. I'm pretty strong when I need to be. [She steps in closer, hand reaching for his. That little pearl is working so hard. Soooo hard.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	[ And not unlike this morning, he pulls away. ] I can't, Kitty! That's the thing! I can't keep relying on you for this, it's only making things worse! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 06:58 pm UTC (link)
	How? How am I making things worse? You told me yesterday wasn't my fault. [Oh, god her voice actually cracked. What are you doing, Reid?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 07:00 pm UTC (link)
	I never said it was your fault, but that doesn't make it any easier to be around you! [ Must be something in the air. His isn't the most stable either. ] You make me feel like I should be better than I am... like I can go back to how it used to be. Like we have a chance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	Wow, I sound like a bitch. Since when is any of that bad? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 07:04 pm UTC (link)
	Since the moment I stopped being able to believe in it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 07:06 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah? When was that? When did you give up on me, Reid? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	...I don't know. I just know I can't keep pretending that it's going to be okay. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2014-10-01 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	[Noticing how much he didn't deny giving up on her.] Meaning what? From now on you're going to be a lot more negative? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-10-01 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	[ It's hard to say he's not giving up on her when he's just about ready to give up on everything. ] ...meaning I can't do this anymore. Us. I can't handle a relationship when I can't even handle myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2014-10-01 07:21 pm UTC (link)

[She turns away from him because he doesn't get to see just how much he's hurting her right now. Not for his sake, but her own. She folds her arms across her chest and says nothing because she knows just how badly those words would shake and break if she tried to make them. One beat, two, ten...

Poor, starving oyster.]

Then you won't have to worry about me making your life worse anymore.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-10-01 07:36 pm UTC (link)

[ It hurts and most of all it hurts that he can't find it in him to stop her. That's the scary part, that he's so far gone (he, not them. This is on him) that he can't even fight for it anymore. She's wrong but so far, everything he's said just made it worse. He can't explain. He's not even sure he understands it all himself at this point but if he knows anything, it's that it can't continue like this.

It's just too far gone to save, the way they are. ]

...I'll pick up my things in the morning.

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kitty_has_claws
2014-10-01 07:49 pm UTC (link)

[If he tried at all. Any sign... She waits, but there isn't one and she can't be the only one in this relationship. That's not how they work. So, maybe he's right—it's not working. No amount of just her trying harder is going to make it work.

So she nods, not trusting any kind of pause to steady her words. The one not giving up should probably be the one to stay with their suicidal ward, right? Makes sense.

And again she's waiting for him, but finally she moves—one step in front of the next.]

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