InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm so sorry."

Aidan J. Reilly (redclayheroics) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-03-04 20:26:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, damon salvatore, deanna troi, doctor facilier, euphemia li britannia, helen magnus, kitty pryde (aoa), nathan harris, nico di angelo, number one, piper halliwell, sougo okita

261 — open video//closed action to roommates
[ The video feed comes on early, just after the morning greeting. Aidan is definitely looking worse for wear, perpetually stifling a yawn and doing what he can to drown himself in the first pot of coffee of the day. It's been a few rough nights since Euphie moved in and not for the reasons one may suspect. ~~Or maybe exactly for the reasons one may suspect~~. ]

So, uhm... [ Clearing his throat. ] Anyone got any advice for stayin' awake when coffee don't cut it no more? I've tried cold showers, but uhm... I got a feelin' I'll give m'self a cold if I keep that up.

Anythin' would be helpful. Please.

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redclayheroics
2014-03-16 02:19 am UTC (link)

[ There's a lot to see there. He's about as bad at hiding his emotions as he is with stringing words into a coherent sentence. So much loneliness and longing and a good amount of fear, but life is supposed to be scary or you're not doing very much with it.

He shifts in closer still, gently wrapping his arms around her in an embrace. ]

I don't know what I can handle right now, but... I think I know what I want. [ Maybe not a relationship, maybe not just yet but... something. Contact. ] What do you want, Euphie?

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	friendly_fire 2014-03-16 02:29 am UTC (link)
	I... [Don't want to answer that question yet. Is that a good answer?] I'm not sure. [But she tightens the embrace.] What do you want? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

redclayheroics
2014-03-16 02:33 am UTC (link)

[ He swallows again, taking the tightened embrace as encouragement and that leads to courage which in turn leads to truths he hadn't really realized himself. It's only been three weeks since Helix disappeared but so much has gone through his head in that amount of time and whether he comes back or not...

Some things have to change. ]

...I think I wanna let him go. And... I wanna be with you. Not like a couple or nothin', not yet in any case but... like this? Can we be like this?

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friendly_fire
2014-03-16 03:05 am UTC (link)

[When Euphie was young—younger than she is now—her first love was her half brother Lelouch. They were raised more like neighbors than siblings, but it was all she ever knew. There were siblings, soldiers, groundskeepers, and maids. On rare occasion there were ambassadors but even as a child she outranked most of those around her. They kept their distance or at least they tried to. It was only with her siblings she found something else—something warmer. It was a warmth that she clung to and encouraged as much as she could. She would argue with Nunnally over which of them would get to marry Lelouch when they grew up. It was a simpler time in a lot of ways and for her it was normal.

But then she and her world grew. She knew there was more out there and she wanted to see it. She met Suzaku—her future knight and future love—when she was climbing—falling—out of a window so she could go explore as someone other than Princess Euphemia. He wasn't like anyone else she'd ever known and she fell for him almost instantly. It was the situation, the timing, and something in their similarities—their mutual loneliness that drew her to him. Things moved so quickly and yet they never kissed. She ordered him to love her and he agreed. And not long after she was in Marina, learning about the massacre, and then losing Suzaku. He wanted to be with Lelouch. How could she not be happy for the two men she loved most finding happiness in each other? Of course she was, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

It cast a shadow over her for a long time to come. It was so dark she didn't see what was right in front of her with Gino. They had fallen into dating. She just saw it as spending time with him. She was surprised when she learned he saw it as more. But she was flattered and he was handsome and kind and so much fun to be with. And whatever might have been ended abruptly after no more than a kiss as he became one of the many lost in the stablizer.

She was a little more aware with Ryoji. He was so good to her. The first time she met she was threatening to kill him for being Japanese and he was so patiently trying to distract her. He even invited her to a dance as they spoke. He was flirtatious but also hurting in ways she couldn't help but want to help him with. They grew closer only to lose him too. And all of this in 219 days. Less than a year.

She's a seventeen year old girl with a big heart and more than a few physical curiosities. She likes being held and touched and kissed. She wants to be with someone, but she's also worried about losing them again. And there is more than one boy here she's imagined as more than a friend even if only briefly. Wally. Kaoru. And perhaps more than others recently, Nathan. He seems to really need someone and she likes spending time with him. She liked kissing him on the day of the mistletoe bots. She notices when he's not around.

Then there's Aidan who was with Helix. She never let herself think beyond that. Not really. Maybe for just a moment that day in the petshop. It felt good to kiss him. But of course it did. She cares for him deeply. He's her knight like Suzaku had been. Her best friend. Like Lelouch had been.

And now he's standing here telling her so many things. So many beautiful, confusing, conflicting things. She's not sure what she's answering when he asks, "Can we be like this?" But if it means she gets to keep hugging him then she's going to say...]

Yes. Of course we can.

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redclayheroics
2014-03-16 11:16 am UTC (link)

[ It's only fair that she doesn't know what she's answering, because he's not sure what it is he's asking. Never was good with the ambiguous but being with Helix taught him that sometimes you just have to deal with not knowing what you are and right now he has no idea whatsoever. All he knows is that she makes him feel like everything will be okay and he needs that more than ever, needs someone he can hug and curl up to at night and protect. Someone who needs him, always, not just when there's a baseball match or a tag-team battle on some zombie shooter. He's nothing without Helix but maybe he can be at least something with Euphie.

Just not a couple. Not yet and maybe not ever, definitely not before he knows for sure that he likes kissing her just because it's her and not because she's there, because he's lonely or sad or projects his grief onto the only person around who can fill the void. He hasn't told her any lies but maybe he's lying to himself from sheer exhaustion and desperation. He just doesn't know but he knows that there's a huge swell of relief at her answer, like everything really will be alright and he'll be able to sleep again, able to do anything again and since when is he this needy? ]

...Thank you. [ Muffled in a breath against her shoulder, he wraps his arms a little tighter around her. Like a drowning man to driftwood. ]

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	friendly_fire 2014-03-16 08:53 pm UTC (link)
	[She's a little surprised by how tightly he clings to her, but she doesn't ask him to stop or pull away. Instead, she brings a hand up to rub his back.] It's alright. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

redclayheroics
2014-03-16 11:58 pm UTC (link)

[ Hey, it's been a really rough... well, year to be perfectly honest and with Helix being the complete mess he is, Aidan hasn't really had anyone to truly lean on. Not that he intends to do all too much of that with Euphie either, but right now while he's exhausted out of his mind he can't help himself.

There's an affirmative noise and a sniffle and then he eases up on the hug. Straightens up. ]

We, uhm. We really should go get breakfast, huh?

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	friendly_fire 2014-03-17 12:02 am UTC (link)
	Yes, yes, that would be best I think. And then maybe you should get a nap. [She reaches up to brush back some of his hair, not that it's long enough to need to be brushed back.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2014-03-17 12:13 am UTC (link)
	[ A shame about the buzzcut, even if it has grown a bit since then. ] Actually... I think I will. [ Said with an odd sense of relief. And since he does owe her a kiss, he leans in to make good on that. Soft and light. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-03-23 03:49 pm UTC (link)
	[Her cheeks grow a shade pinker. She's not used to this much kissing from one person at one time as strange as that may sound. There are the bots. And the occasional polite kiss from Gino or Ryoji but this is different for her.] That's good to hear. [Stumbling just a bit over her words before taking his arm.] We should go. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2014-03-23 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	[ Okay, okay! He'll cool it with the kissing. Actually, he probably needs some time to digest this sudden change of everything. Oh boy. ] Yeah... alright. 'm kinda starvin', actually. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-03-23 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	[It's not that. Well, it is that, but she's just not sure how she's supposed to respond. He's been full of conflicting views on this already. First he's loyal to Helix and then he wants to be something but not a couple.] Good. I'm hungry too. [And off they go!] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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