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Tweak says, "This is Jim, my spoon..."

Tear Grants (mysterymelody) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-18 18:35:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, buffy summers, hei, hikaru hitachiin, kitty pryde (aoa), matt donovan, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, toul, yuuki kuran

[Day 237] Fear of Abandonment Therapy mingle
[The call to those placed in abandonment therapy simply says to head to the Sector 5 prayer facility, and that's all-- not even that this has to do with those insecure feelings of yours. Posted arrows point the way down to the meditation room that has been filled up with several tables, two completely lined with coffees, teas, and bite sized refreshments ranging from cookies and pastries to sliced fruit and veggies. Plates and napkins are stacked up, and if you want a fork, they're there too.

The third table is larger and round, for that feeling of closeness, with chairs set up and for each seat a set of papers is waiting neatly on the table surface along with a pen. Topmost is a questionnaire with instructions to put detailed responses, be honest, and discuss with another attendee, with questions such as:

Do you get anxious if you cannot see or speak to someone close to you at any given moment?
Are you constantly haunted by the idea that someone may eventually leave you?
Do you put up with negative or even abusive behavior from someone just to keep from being alone?
Did someone important to you exit your life when you were young? How did you feel?
What exactly are you afraid of, beyond the indistinct label of "being abandoned"?

The second is a page with the heading "Make a list of all the people in your life, and determine how devastated you would be if those people left and why. Try to cut the unhealthy relationships, and distance a bit from even the good to build your independence!" and a few extra blank sheets of paper in case the one isn't enough.

Small cards are also scattered in the center of the table, printed with positive tips to help the process of healing.

"Often when people are abandoned (whether because someone leaves or even dies), they feel utterly hopeless and helpless. But you are never helpless.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy where you're at and whom you're with.

Abandonment issues aren't always easy to recognize, but can be worked through in a loving relationship.

Try to challenge yourself to be alone for extended periods of time without giving into the urge to reach out immediately and connect to someone."

[[ooc: mingle! you know how it goes by now, use these examples or come up with better ones if you want!]]

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mysterymelody
2013-10-31 08:03 pm UTC (link)

--You think I have?

[Tear likes to think she has, slightly... but she feels it's mostly been to do with her understanding-- not just of matters of foreign worlds, but of others foreign or not. Accepting people and their own way of thinking. Something internal she would notice, not something she would expect others to be able to point out.

Now that he has... she has to admit she's interested in what he has to say for her, in return]

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	bottomless_pit 2013-10-31 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. [ he couldn't so much as put it into words as it was a feeling, but, since Saya had disappeared, she... He shook his head. ] You appear to be more open now. You didn't trust too many, in the beginning. [ and there's regret in his eyes for deceiving her for so long. He knew, now, how much better it could be without that in the way. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mysterymelody
2013-11-03 02:02 pm UTC (link)

...I couldn't. It gets harder to trust as you get older, when you're no longer a child...

[And admittedly, she'd left that point long ago, but the string of betrayals and disappointments, the hardly glorious battle of wills that had transpired in Auldrant barely weeks before the point she was incarcerated hadn't allowed for much emotional or mental healing at all. She'd found her fixed point-- necessary for any soldier-- in Lelouch almost mercifully quickly, at least, and she doesn't once doubt that the relations forged with him and Suzaku stabilized her early.

Now-- she's "open". Changed. If so, then it's because of the people she surrounded herself with, she didn't decide to alter her thinking all on her own one morning. It's the... friends she has the most tumultuous relationships with that seem to make her better; she offers the particular one beside her a most grateful smile]

Perhaps I needed the extra experience, to learn how to have faith in people again... again, even if it ends up broken.

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bottomless_pit
2013-11-09 08:28 pm UTC (link)

[ ah yes, the rose colored glasses are removed and only the grit-stained world remains behind. He knew well how short childhood could be. ]

The children can never remain children. [ right? ] But it's good to trust. Being alone... [ he found it difficult to find the right words. Saya had taught him the desperation of need and Tear and had taught him the value of truth, but there had been others in his past. The black and white cop, the girl who had once been a doll, the handler...

It was an inevitability that people would—could change you. They were proof of that. ]

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mysterymelody
2013-11-12 12:38 pm UTC (link)

Is easy when you don't know anything else. Impossible... once you do.

[She pipes up, finishing for him. It may not be what he intended, but it's how she feels. Returning to a secluded life in Yulia City, sequestered in her garden, with not even sun or wind, rain nor sound...

After traveling with their little group, after all this, she doubts that she could truly settle there]

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