InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Driver picks the music"

Tear Grants (mysterymelody) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-18 18:35:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, buffy summers, hei, hikaru hitachiin, kitty pryde (aoa), matt donovan, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, toul, yuuki kuran

[Day 237] Fear of Abandonment Therapy mingle
[The call to those placed in abandonment therapy simply says to head to the Sector 5 prayer facility, and that's all-- not even that this has to do with those insecure feelings of yours. Posted arrows point the way down to the meditation room that has been filled up with several tables, two completely lined with coffees, teas, and bite sized refreshments ranging from cookies and pastries to sliced fruit and veggies. Plates and napkins are stacked up, and if you want a fork, they're there too.

The third table is larger and round, for that feeling of closeness, with chairs set up and for each seat a set of papers is waiting neatly on the table surface along with a pen. Topmost is a questionnaire with instructions to put detailed responses, be honest, and discuss with another attendee, with questions such as:

Do you get anxious if you cannot see or speak to someone close to you at any given moment?
Are you constantly haunted by the idea that someone may eventually leave you?
Do you put up with negative or even abusive behavior from someone just to keep from being alone?
Did someone important to you exit your life when you were young? How did you feel?
What exactly are you afraid of, beyond the indistinct label of "being abandoned"?

The second is a page with the heading "Make a list of all the people in your life, and determine how devastated you would be if those people left and why. Try to cut the unhealthy relationships, and distance a bit from even the good to build your independence!" and a few extra blank sheets of paper in case the one isn't enough.

Small cards are also scattered in the center of the table, printed with positive tips to help the process of healing.

"Often when people are abandoned (whether because someone leaves or even dies), they feel utterly hopeless and helpless. But you are never helpless.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy where you're at and whom you're with.

Abandonment issues aren't always easy to recognize, but can be worked through in a loving relationship.

Try to challenge yourself to be alone for extended periods of time without giving into the urge to reach out immediately and connect to someone."

[[ooc: mingle! you know how it goes by now, use these examples or come up with better ones if you want!]]

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thisiscalm
2013-09-19 06:16 pm UTC (link)

[ He's used to therapy by now. Group meetings. Facing your problems, dealing with them. Oh yeah, he had great experience with that (albeit in a very specific area) long before he arrived in Marina and thanks to that, he's at least a little bit relaxed in the setting. It's not great but it helps and besides, they have no choice.

The subject though. That hits too close, closer than the addicts group did last time around. He shifts in his chair, flipping one of the "inspirational" cards around between his fingers. ]

Challenge yourself to be alone... mission accomplished. [ Someone's been into the coffee. ]

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	neverhurthim 2013-09-21 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	[Anna shifts in her seat uncomfortably, looking away. She just drank coffee herself.] Looks like it's a two for one special. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-23 11:43 am UTC (link)
	It seems counter-productive, doesn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverhurthim 2013-09-23 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	Depends on what you're trying to be productive at, exactly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-24 12:57 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose... but if this is suppose to help us through abandonment issues, suggesting that we isolate ourselves isn't exactly... [ An unsure expression. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverhurthim 2013-09-29 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. Right. [She shakes her head. She's still not used to being around people who can see her, who she can interact with.] Yeah I guess that is pretty counter-productive. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-30 06:13 pm UTC (link)
	[ He gives her a little smile — social awkwardness he knows. ] I'm Reid. You're new around here, aren't you? I don't think I've seen you before. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	stuck 2013-09-22 01:42 pm UTC (link)
	Yep, already doing that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-23 11:44 am UTC (link)
	Does it work as well for you as it did for me? (Reply to this) (Parent)

kitty_has_claws
2013-09-22 06:29 pm UTC (link)

I hope you mean that in a very past tense kind of way. [Yeah, the bots wanted her here too apparently. There is definitely some truth to it. She lost her parents, her students, her husband and her world, her first important friend in Marina and several that came after including her first roommate. And there are still important people left she could lose. Maybe that's why her pushing people away skills are so refined.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-23 11:45 am UTC (link)
	[ What a coincidence, the two of them ending up in the same group like this. If he wasn't so drugged and relaxed, he'd be very torn between comfort and anxiety right now. This involves her after all, at least a little bit. ] Is moderately past tense acceptable? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-24 02:11 am UTC (link)
	Only if it's moderate due to length of time and not depth of unalone. [It definitely involves him too from her view point.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-24 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	[ Deciphering from Kitty talk... ] Bit of both, I suppose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-24 05:23 pm UTC (link)
	Both? [But only one was acceptable!] Oh... [Well, she feels great about that.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-24 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	[ He shifts a little closer for some illusion of privacy. He may be good and relaxed and drugged up, but that doesn't mean that he's not still fiercely protective of his personal integrity. ] Not with you. Never with you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-24 05:52 pm UTC (link)
	["Oh" again. This time not so much a sad oh at the state of their relationship as much as a sad oh at the state of Reid. She reaches out to take his hand in hers.] Next time lead with that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-25 02:17 pm UTC (link)
	[ Handholding he can do. He gives her a small smile and a reassuring squeeze. ] Sorry. I'll remember that next time. [ A beat. ] I've never lost as many people as I have here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-26 12:18 am UTC (link)
	...I have. [She squeezes that hand back.] You'd think it would be like second nature. [Does she have to actually say it's not for him to know?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-26 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think that's something that ever gets easier. [ He swallows. ] It's not supposed to get easy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-27 12:51 am UTC (link)
	Then it should really stop happening. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-27 05:59 pm UTC (link)
	But it won't. This is what people do. They disappear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-28 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	That's not all people do. ...I haven't. [But most have. How many can she really count that haven't that have been here for any length of time? Somewhere between the alcohol she had with Tyki and the truth serum in the foods she's had she finds herself continuing.] You have. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-29 06:16 pm UTC (link)
	I have. [ And that weighs even heavier, somehow. He's not the one who leaves, he's the one left behind only here that may not remain a truth. He could be gone any minute. He could be the one abandoning. ] And I could disappear again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-29 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	[It's something she's always known and thought, but actually hearing it hurts even though she's sure he doesn't mean to hurt her.] It's one of the reasons I wanted to sleep next to you so soon. I wanted to hold on. [Literally.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-09-30 05:22 pm UTC (link)
	Kitty... [ He doesn't mean to hurt her. It's the last thing he wants, but the truth lies surprisingly close to the surface today. It's easy to spill the things he has no intention of spilling. ] I didn't know that. I thought you just... didn't want an empty bed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)