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Tweak says, "TEQUILA!"

Obi-Wan Kenobi (master_kenobi) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2013-08-12 22:36:00

Entry tags:

anakin skywalker, obi-wan kenobi, siri tachi

The Case Of The Disappearing Jedi In The Land Of Attachments
Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi and Anakin Skywalker
What: Anakin has taught Siri to silence her presence in the Force. Unfortunately nobody has told Obi-Wan that this can be done.
When: Tuesday, August 13, approx 2am.
Where: Obi-Wan's room, Siri's room and all over the place.
Rating/Warnings: PG with Jedi angst and inappropriate attachments
Status: Closed; Incomplete

Obi-Wan woke suddenly, sitting bolt upright, Siri's name on his lips before he consciously realized what his deeper subconscious had felt in the Force. Siri was gone. He frowned, closing his eyes again to reach out, intentionally looking for her presence in the Force, but it wasn't there. He got out of bed. He didn't even bother pulling on a housecoat or boots over his pyjamas. He went out into the hall, to her room, and banged on the door. When no answer came, he used the Force to push it open, stepping inside with a franticness that was barely hidden under his mildly uneasy exterior. She wasn't there.

Feeling extremely agitated at that point, he hurried out of Siri's room and headed for Anakin's. He banged on the door without any regard for the hour. He'd probably wake Padme, it occurred to him after he'd done it, but it also occurred to him that she'd survive.

Anakin, he projected forcefully. Come out here.

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	master_kenobi 2013-08-15 10:52 am UTC (link)
	"Don't get irritable," Obi-Wan told him. "You taught her how to do it." He headed for the path up. "Let's go." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2013-08-15 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	It didn't seem as if Anakin would be returning to sleep anytime soon after all. "You're right' I did teach her this," he said falling in step behind Obi-Wan. But what did he need to be here for? He suspected there was a lecture dipped in a scolding waiting at the top for him. And Siri, she was probably in for it, too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverlosefocus
2013-08-15 11:05 pm UTC (link)

Siri’s eyes flew open, her gaze drawn in the direction of the two Jedi who were making their way up to where she sat. Their emotions were almost a beacon. Anakin was frustrated to a surprising degree for the time of night it was. And Obi-Wan... was both agitated and relieved. The intensity of both was almost breath-taking.

What could have possibly have happened to make him feel such things so very strongly?

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master_kenobi
2013-08-15 11:24 pm UTC (link)

It occurred to him on the way up, as her presence returned to the Force and quickly filled with curious concern, that maybe he should have been reassured she was okay and gone back to his room. But she was aware of their approach at that point and going back would only look strange.

More strange. Than two Jedi hiking up to an overlook in the middle of the night in their pyjamas.

"Siri," he said as they reached the top. He stopped a short distance from her awkwardly. "Here you are." He hesitated. "We were just... checking on you." The truth. She'd know if it wasn't anyway.

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	darkforcerising 2013-08-16 12:10 am UTC (link)
	Standing behind Obi-Wan, Anakin rolled his eyes. He wanted to go back to sleep, next to his wife, not stand around dealing with not saying what should be said. "You silenced yourself in the Force," he explained more clearly. "Master Obi-Wan was concerned that meant you'd returned home. We came out here to confirm you were still with us." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverlosefocus
2013-08-16 12:47 am UTC (link)

Her gaze lingered on Obi-Wan for a moment. He’d closed off the emotions he was feeling, but he was leaking them around the edges. The same agitation, the same intense relief... but there was hurt now, too, mingling with all the rest. She never liked it when she sensed that from him; made a part of her want to do something to fix it. Which was the wrong sort of response for a Jedi to have, but there was that part of her that had it anyway, deep enough down that she could keep it to herself. And she never acted on it. Which was the important thing.

Oh.

That explained the pyjamas and the bare feet. She looked between the two of them. “I wanted to put what Anakin has been teaching into practice.” And make use of her inability to sleep, but that didn’t need mentioning. “I didn’t think...” She frowned. Shouldn’t they have both been asleep? Would her silencing her presence in the Force been enough to wake both Anakin and Obi-Wan from sound sleep? And why hadn’t Anakin simply told Obi-Wan what she was doing instead of trekking all the way up there? The questions only led to more confusion. “I didn’t think it would wake anyone.”

He was concerned. Because he thought she’d been returned home. That was... that wasn’t a surprise. But it caught her by it none-the-less. Even though it shouldn’t. They were friends. They’d been friends a very long time. And he knew what she would be going back to. But his concern sent him out in his pyjamas in the middle of the night to find her. That was...

There was the quietest flutter of some nameless emotion in her chest, quickly kept silent in the Force.

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master_kenobi
2013-08-16 12:56 am UTC (link)

She didn't think it would wake anyone?

"Siri, you disappeared in the middle of the night. How was I supposed to know Anakin was teaching you some sort of... of dubious future technique? I've never heard of such a thing! You were just gone."

Oh, stars. He was getting agitated again. He took a breath, but Anakin was annoyed with him on one side and Siri was standing there on the other so obviously fine... He realized what an enormous fool he must look like.

He gave her a curt nod. "I'm glad you're well. Sorry to interrupt your meditations," he told her, his voice all studied calm swimming on top of the overwhelming emotions he barely kept pressed down inside. He turned. "Thank you for your help," he told Anakin as he moved to slip past him. "Sorry to wake you for nothing."

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darkforcerising
2013-08-16 01:26 am UTC (link)

Anakin wanted to refute that 'dubious' remark, but Obi-Wan's demeanor change stilled the fight in him.

He reached for Obi-Wan as the man moved past, his hand coming to rest on the man's shoulder. He wanted to say he understood - oh, did he understand how emotions could stir a person to action in ways that made one feel foolish later. That was a theme Anakin played all his life.

You had to confirm it, I would have done the same with Padme. He projected it, not wanting to expose Obi-Wan to more embarrassment in front of Siri.

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neverlosefocus
2013-08-16 02:44 am UTC (link)

I didn’t KNOW.

That he would sense the sudden removal of her presence in the Force. That it would worry him enough to come searching for her. He noticed the absence of her presence in the Force. Enough that it woke him.

Her mind raced, going through all the possibilities. But she was wrong. She had to be wrong. The conclusion she was coming to had to be wrong. It wasn’t possible that... She thought...

For a moment hope fluttered in her chest so hard it caught her off-guard. She should have put away her feelings for Obi-Wan long ago. But she’d failed. She’d refused to dwell on the memories that led to the decision they’d made so long ago, yes. She didn’t regret the decision that they’d made. But she hadn’t let go of her feelings the way that she should have. She’d buried them. Ignored them. Hidden them away so deep that no one else could possibly have sensed them. Played the part of someone who was obviously a better Jedi than she was.

But she wasn’t. And she hadn’t.

And now he was leaving, still leaking the same emotions as before. Siri was on her feet and closing the distance between almost before she’d consciously chosen to do so, her hand curling gently around his arm. She wanted him to stop, but she would not force him to stay. I’m sorry. Her projection was hasty, but she meant her apology with all her heart. He knew her, knew how much she hated saying those words. But she said them to him without effort, without conscious thought or hesitation. She hadn’t meant to worry him.

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master_kenobi
2013-08-16 08:48 am UTC (link)

Anakin's hand stilled him. He didn't feel the amusement he thought would be there. It's not exactly the same thing, is it? Not snappish. No force behind it. Simple, resigned statement of fact: Anakin had a right to worry over Padme and where she went and what she did; she'd given it to him. Obi-Wan had no such thing from Siri. They'd agreed a long time ago not to give each other that.

When Siri's hand took him by the arm, his eyes flew immediately to her face. Again no amusement. And her words were sincere. Almost achingly. He wasn't sure what to make of that, coming from her. But even though he tried not to assign it some sort of deeper meaning, neither did he pull his arm away.

It's okay. A hesitation. But you could have told me. I mean, I wouldn't have... Wouldn't have... disapproved? Well, he wasn't sure how much credence he paid this 'New Order' stuff that Anakin had been touting, but he wouldn't have disparaged her for wanting to learn a new Force technique. Especially not if she'd told him why. Which was the first thing he'd wondered when Anakin told him what he thought she was doing.

...What are you hiding from?

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darkforcerising
2013-08-16 09:41 am UTC (link)

Anakin wanted to roll his eyes again, of course Obi-Wan would try to de-legitimatize his own feelings.

But Anakin had more in his arsenal, if that's how Obi-Wan wanted to play.

I would have done it for you, or for Ani, or Ahsoka, or my- he stopped short of including his mother in that list because it might trigger unwanted questions at a later date. I'd do it for a number of other people.

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neverlosefocus
2013-08-16 10:56 am UTC (link)

Siri was more relieved than she should have been that he stopped. That he didn’t pull away from her. That would have bothered her more than she cared to admit. Bothered her more than she should admit at all, even to herself. But she let her hand linger on his arm, making no move to let go.

I’m sorry. I should have told you. She looked startled for a moment, her eyes searching his. I’m not hiding from anything. Why would I? There was no one she would ever need to hide from, here. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind; she hadn’t considered the possibilities of the technique Anakin had taught her until moments ago, when she’d instinctively hidden what she was feeling in the Force. But she wouldn’t – couldn’t – hide from Obi-Wan.

It’s a technique that didn’t exist when we were at the Temple. I just... wanted to learn it, for the sake of learning. There was no need to mention that it served as a pleasant distraction from nightmares and her inability to sleep.

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master_kenobi
2013-08-16 11:47 am UTC (link)

Anakin had a point, because Anakin himself is the other person whose absence would have been conspicuous enough to wake Obi-Wan from a dead sleep and send him searching.

Siri's answer was reassuring, if also maddening. And matches Anakin's enough that he speaks his reply out loud.

"Ah. Just... Because it occurred to me when we decided to look for you that perhaps you didn't want to be found."

Or, at least, by him.

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	darkforcerising 2013-08-16 10:19 pm UTC (link)
	With that Anakin realized there was a whole different conversation going on between Obi-Wan and Siri that he wasn't a part of. Nor should he be, this was there personal issue to work out. "I should get back to the castle," he said. Taking this moment to start stepping back down the outcropping. "I don't think either of you need me anymore tonight." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverlosefocus
2013-08-17 03:24 pm UTC (link)

Siri could almost hear what he left unsaid. Had he honestly believed that? She stepped closer without thinking, looking at him with complete seriousness. “No, Obi-Wan. It never even crossed my mind. I just wanted to put what I’d been taught into practice.” She shouldn’t have stepped closer, should have removed her hand from her arm. But she didn’t.

She looked at Anakin, offering him a small smile. He’d been dragged out of bed and away from Padmé because of all this. I’m sorry, Anakin. She hadn’t thought... would never have expected that her simple use of what he’d been teaching her would cause so much trouble. But she couldn’t have known that Obi-Wan would... that he would feel her absence in the Force so deeply.

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	master_kenobi 2013-08-17 06:13 pm UTC (link)
	Obi-Wan had already thanked Anakin, and has already apologized to him. He let him go, his attention on Siri. As awkward as that was. He cleared his throat. "Yes. Well. That was my mistake." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

darkforcerising
2013-08-18 05:53 am UTC (link)

Anakin sent back to Siri the impression that he wasn't put out about the misunderstanding. At least not more than was usual for such situations. He had been woken up at 2 am, after all. But beyond that, if it was a 'mistake' is was unintentional and ultimately forgivable.

Not having anything more to add, he slipped back down the outcropping and headed back to the castle.

He did hope Obi-Wan was willing to have an honest discussion about the root of this night time excursion.

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neverlosefocus
2013-08-18 01:56 pm UTC (link)

Siri watched Anakin until he was out of sight, leaving her alone on the outcropping of rock with Obi-Wan. It made their closeness, the moonlight, her hand on his arm all the more... something she was keenly aware of, in a way that almost made her nervous. “It’s an understandable one,” she told him quietly. And it was... but she was having trouble with the cause of it. He’d felt her absence. And he’d felt it strongly enough that it woke him. That it... scared him.

That had to mean... It could only mean... Its possible meaning gave her far more hope than was appropriate for a Jedi.

But she felt it anyway.

“Thank you.” It wasn’t something she said, often. But she wanted him to know that she... appreciated it. Knowing that he would notice if... when she was gone. It was something she’d thought about once or twice, when the nightmare of her death had made her unable to sleep.

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master_kenobi
2013-08-18 02:49 pm UTC (link)

Though her closeness and the warmth of her expression made him feel a little light-headed, he managed something of a wry smile and his usual dry humour.

"For making the mistake? Think nothing of it; I seem to be specializing in them here."

He stilled slightly, his expression growing serious again.

"But... I'm... " Kriff, kriff, kriff. Everything he tried to say stuck in his throat. It made him too vulnerable. He could hear Master Yoda in the back of his mind admonishing him for the attachment the incident threw into stark relief and the uncontrolled emotions it dragged with it.

"I'm glad you're still here. I am. Glad."

Well done, Kenobi. Eloquent.

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neverlosefocus
2013-08-19 12:23 am UTC (link)

Siri’s smile was bright, and more than a little bit fond. “Not that, Obi-Wan,” she told him, voice teasing, “Although that’s always appreciated.” It came as easily as the Force to her, teasing him. The smile faded, her expression turning serious. Uncertainty, a rare occurrence for her, made choosing the next words difficult. For caring enough to miss her, to look for her (although he must hate it)? For worrying? For... Their conversation regarding the younger Anakin was sharp in her mind. She could say none of it. “For coming to look for me.”

His arm was warm under her hand, and she was far too aware of it, aware of him. More than she should be. She didn’t mean to step closer to him, but she did it anyway. “I’m glad, too.” He was one of the few things that made sense there. She smiled. “Someone has to watch your back.”

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master_kenobi
2013-08-19 08:26 am UTC (link)

When she stepped still closer, a wave of warmth ran through his belly and he was uncomfortably certain that she must be able to sense how much she...distracted him at this proximity.

"I...wouldn't..." Make words, Kenobi. Complete the sentence. Why did she always smell so nice in the middle of the night? Well, she probably always did, these were just the times she was close enough to notice... Focus. Sentence. He had been saying something, hadn't he? Right. "I wouldn't choose anyone else."

He swallowed and tried to draw a breath that wasn't shaky.

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neverlosefocus
2013-08-19 09:01 pm UTC (link)

Standing so close to him was always dangerous, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. It wasn’t something she could blame on habits picked up from lengthy undercover missions, either; she didn’t have a problem with it around anyone else. He just... drove her to distraction. Always had. She had disguising it down to an art. She hoped.

Oh.

And then he said things like that. Words that did interesting things to her heartbeat and the butterflies he always seemed to cause her. Surprise, relief, and countless other emotions bubbled up in her as she looked at him, blue eyes bright in the moonlight. She slid her hand down his arm and tangled her fingers with his, indicating the outcropping where she’d been sitting when they’d approached with a lift of her chin. “Sit with me?”

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	master_kenobi 2013-08-19 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	Sitting? She was holding his hand. It took him a moment to remember what sitting involved. Sitting. Yes. He could sit. He didn't trust his voice not to betray him, so he only nodded, letting her lead him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverlosefocus 2013-08-19 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	Siri was relieved when he nodded; she had wanted him to stay, hoped that he would stay, but he could have easily left. And she would have let him. But he didn’t. She was smiling as she led him to the edge of the outcropping, before she forced herself to let go of his hand and take a seat, one leg dangling over the edge. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

master_kenobi
2013-08-20 10:42 am UTC (link)

He lowered himself onto the rock surface beside her. It was cool through the thin cotton of his pyjamas, but it felt a little bracing. He felt more grounded, there on the ground. He looked at her.

"I suppose we could have confused the Sith Lord something fierce if we all learned how to do that and then did it all at once," he remarked. A weak half-joke, but an attempt at a normal conversation that didn't remark on how electric her contact with him had felt just then.