InsaneJournal

Every woman loved to hear those words, but Juniper wasn't in the mood to be placated, or whatever he was trying to do. No, he wasn't agreeing with her, not like that. He was saying something else. At least, that's what the dead look on his face lead her to believe, given that he had a curtain over his thoughts.

But Juniper was a smart girl. She didn't need to read his mind to know the direction this was going. His face said enough, and everything she knew him to be said the rest. The bottle, which she'd been all too ready to chuck at his head, dropped from her fingers with a dull thud on the wet ground, and Juniper narrowed her eyes.

"Edward Cullen, so help me...Don't you dare," she warned through gritted teeth.

Juniper was shaking her head before he was even half finished. "You're lying," she accused. "I know you're lying. Keep those walls up all you want, but I know that you don't mean that. I've been in your head and I know you. You're just trying to push me away to make yourself feel better about all of this."

She put her hands on her hips and squared her stance. "Well it's not going to work. I don't care what you say, or do. Have at it, Edward." She spread her arms wide. "Take your best shot. Because I know that it's a lie," she said with a rather victorious look on her face. "Try and hurt me all you want. I'm not going anywhere."

"I might really, really hate you right now, but you can't hate someone without caring for them. And I love you, so deal with it."

Juniper listened to him, and then nodded. "Fine. Good-bye, Edward," she said calmly, collectedly, with an air of abject finality that had nothing to do with never bumping into him again. If he was sure, then that's all she needed. She'd found something to fight for, and if that was being taken away, then what was the point? At least she had the truth, or what it came down to, at any rate, because she still didn't believe him. But if he hated her so much, then fine. There wasn't much point in fighting with him about it.

As a matter of fact, there wasn't much point in anything. She was going to die, sooner or later, and while Juniper had at one point wanted to squeeze every second she had left of it's beauty, the world looked dull, colourless.

Turning on her heel, rather wobbly, Juniper strode back to the heart of the Ren Faire. She was going to die anyway, and as she eyed the torches, she decided that picking the manner was far better than waiting for the ax to drop. Snatching up a torch, Juniper moved away from anyone that might get hurt accidentally. Pity about the surrounding trees, but someone would put them out before the whole forest went up. Tossing the torch in a pile of leaves, Juniper took a breath and followed it.

Juniper held her head high at the onslaught of information, breathing in purposefully through her nose, not letting herself get pulled under by everything that he was throwing at her. It was horrible, of course, but still, those few moments of relief mixed in with all that pain was enough to keep her from sinking below the surface. It was a lot to take, most assuredly, and her mind revolted at the effort, but even more than before Juniper refused to let him break her.

When she spoke, her voice was quiet, a stark contrast to all the screaming she'd done at him. "I don't care," she said resolutely, shaking her head. "I want you, Edward. And if I can't have that, then you're right. Death is the better option. I've had everything I know taken away from me. My home, my friends, my mother...Even the thing I was the most sure of in my life, Jareth took that away from me and I almost died because of it. Everything about this place scares me to death. I'm terrified, constantly. Of Armand, of what I don't know, of what could be waiting for me around the next corner."

"But then I met you, and you loved me. Not knowing what's going to happen, not even knowing who I am anymore...I could suffer that, and willingly, with you. And now you hate me." She sighed. "I can live with a lot of things, Edward, but that? No. I'm done fighting, Edward. I've been doing it for so long...I just can't anymore. Not when the one thing that made it worth it is gone."

"I'm sorry. I know it hurts you, and I wish I could spare you that. But me being in your life apparently hurts you so much worse, it's better this way. Don't save me anymore. I'm the monster. I just hope that some day you can forgive me."

Then she smiled at him softly and walked away. As far as Juniper was concerned, she was already dead.

Juniper smirked in spite of herself and shook her head. "So you would rather turn me," she teased, just a little, trying her damnedest to get them back on their fairly typical, light, even keel. It was hard though, with everything that had happened, to know whether or not that was even alright. She hated feeling so unsure of herself, of her position, even as he was assuring her that they were fine and that he still loved her.

She turned to look at him when he touched her face, leaning into it a bit and giving him a sad little smile, her eyes misting over again. "And I'm yours," she promised in a little whisper. For a moment, she just looked at him, almost nervous. It was just a kiss, but somehow, it seemed to mean more because of all that it had cost. And perhaps it did.

But finally, she managed it, leaning in to meet him, pressing her lips to his gently, hesitantly, so conscious of the memory of him begging her to stop pushing. She brought her good hand up and slid her fingers into his hair as she broke the kiss, far too soon for her liking, and rest her forehead against his. "I love you, Edward," she whispered, and for some reason it felt like the first time she'd said it. "So much."

Juniper just smiled at him. It was a hell of a lot better than No, not ever, and so she took that as progress, but otherwise let it go.

She echoed his hum and smiled. "Mine too," she admitted, returning his kisses as best as she could, given that he was making her head swim. "You're too good at that," she complained with a smile, clinging to his shoulder with her good hand and resting her head on the other one. "It's not fair."

Though she knew he was messing with her, Juniper frowned. "I'm trying to avoid having you run off again, Edward," she reminded him. "I know why you have to do it, and I understand, but I still don't like it. I'd rather just avoid the problem, if I can keep myself from attacking you, that is," she added with a little smile, kissing his neck.

"Oh Edward..." Juniper sighed, leaning her face into his hand and rolling her eyes at him. "Will you stop?" she begged. "No more guilt tonight, I can't take it. We're different, but so is everyone else. We'll deal with it, alright?"

Laying with him, she laughed a little, and then pondered the question. "My favourite colour is purple," she said, holding up her right hand and pulling back the wrappings, showing him the amethyst ring on her pinkie finger. "My best friend gave that to me when we were...fourteen? Something like that. He calls it his Juniper-meter. He can tell what kind of mood I'm in based on how I mess with it," she chuckled, shaking her head a little. "My favourite song...changes every day," she shrugged. "It depends on what sort of mood I'm in. But I love the music from the forties and fifties. All those powerhouse singers and great jazz numbers," she smiled. "What about yours?"

"I'll have to have you have a listen to these Egyptian tapes a friend made for me," she said with a decided nod. "I think you'd like them." Juniper was so happy that they had more in common than their apparently inability to keep their hands off of each other.

After he was done smelling her hair, Juniper sat up and pulled off her sweater, laying back down in the tank top she'd had on underneath it, getting comfortable and kicking her trainers off and over the edge of the bed.

"I don't have a middle name. Uh...I have a weakness for biscuits - cookies," she corrected with a little laugh. "My dreams..." she hummed, running her fingers along Edward's arm lazily. "Silly little things like climbing Everest or diving to the Titanic. I want to make enough money to build Marsha and Niall a house out on his land..." She bit her lip for a moment and then grinned. "I want to know what a vampire's lair looks like..." she teased, flashing her eyes at him.

Juniper stuck out her bottom lip in a comical pout when he stopped kissing her, and turned in Edward's lap a little to answer his question. "You're so protective, it's adorable," she teased, kissing the tip of his nose. "But I'm a big girl, Edward," she reminded him with a pointed look.

Still, she had a pretty good idea that he wasn't going to let it go until he got his answer. "I had soup and bread for dinner. Prior to the wine," she grinned. "Figured something easy on my stomach was the best. Not that I didn't completely counteract that, but seeing as how I haven't hurled, I think I'm alright," she shrugged, wrinkling her nose a bit, and then ruffled his hair. "You're not that distracting. I'll remember to eat, I promise.

Juniper had to laugh. "Well, it's the 90s, I seriously doubt I'll be burnt at the stake," she agreed, shrugging a bit. His admission had her smiling softer, and Juniper kissed the corner of Edward's mouth. "I'll do my best," she promised, looking at him fondly for a moment before getting up.

"Correction, I love sweets," she smiled, going over to his closet and sliding it open, rooting around. "Why don't we do both?" she suggested, though her voice was muffled by the sweater of Edward's that she was pulling over her head. It was huge on her, but it worked. "You didn't give me a chance to grab mine," she said by way of explanation, shrugging as she closed the closet door.

Juniper blinked. "Woah, woah, wait a second. It was 1995. How could you--That's...I'd be twenty-nine and..." Juniper groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh my head...I can't deal with a ten year deficit right now," she admitted with a strained laugh. It was just too much.

"I will," she grinned cheekily, and then turned her face into her shoulder to smell his jumper. "I think this is mine now," she admitted with a happy little sigh. It smelled like him.

Nodding at his plan, Juniper extended her left hand and waggled her fingers. "Let's go then, Romeo. We can act like teenagers and make out in the backseat," she laughed. Not a bad idea, actually, though she wasn't going to count on it happening.

"Here it doesn't," she agreed, shaking her head a little. She didn't want to think about when they got to go home, and Edward wouldn't want her any more, given that she'd be approaching the one-foot-in-the-grave age of thirty. Not to mention the ten impossible years she'd have to wait for him until he could find her, if he even bothered.

Juniper shook her head at her clearly insane boyfriend and then kissed the back of his hand when he took hers. "Don't park on a hill then," she advised with a wicked little smirk, leading him out of the room.

When they got down to the Faire, Juniper found a stand with various sweets and decided on a brick of rich chocolate. She wouldn't eat much of it, because even an iron-clad stomach couldn't take that much sugar, but it'd be great to save for those little cravings. "Okay, so, now to your car," she said with a decided nod and a smile. "It's not something obnoxious, is it?"