InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I bet he don't do it like me."

xy_pnuuwhmfua (xy_pnuuwhmfua) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2017-02-21 00:37:00

Entry tags:

grog strongjaw, may parker / spider-woman (earth-982), percy de rolo, scanlan shorthalt, vax'ildan, vex'ahlia

voice post.
What the- Kaylie! FUCK. KAYLIE! [ a string of slightly unintelligible cursing ] This shit was supposed to stop happening.

[ a sudden and intense crash of thunder followed by the sound of doors falling off hinges ] Oh. SHIT. They were already unlocked. Well... That's one door solidly defeated, at least. [ slight humourless laugh, muttering ] God, inside jokes are a lot less fun without people around who appreciate them.

Kaylie? If you can hear me in whatever weird random room you're stuck in, the doors are unlocked! I repeated, the doors are unlocked, you do not have to attack them.

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	percy \| scanlan. pepperbox 2017-02-23 05:26 am UTC (link)
	I do not owe you an explanation. You're clever. You'll figure it out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	percy \| scanlan. xy_pnuuwhmfua 2017-02-23 05:48 am UTC (link)
	I'm witty, Percy. I'm not all that clever. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	percy \| scanlan. pepperbox 2017-02-23 07:30 am UTC (link)
	You are too clever. Why weren't we enough? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	percy \| scanlan. xy_pnuuwhmfua 2017-02-23 07:41 am UTC (link)
	I'm a jackass with a few turns of phrase and a couple of flashy tricks. Nothing more. Because I'm a wreck? Because I'm a selfish ingrate asshole? What do you want me to say, Percy? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	percy \| scanlan. pepperbox 2017-02-23 07:44 am UTC (link)
	You were always more than that. The truth. Not some self deprecating bullshit. You left us. You made it rather clear you hated us and then you left. Why? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	percy \| scanlan. xy_pnuuwhmfua 2017-02-23 08:02 am UTC (link)
	I really wasn't. I don't have it in me to be more. Too many reasons. Things that I've been... thinking about for months. And I don't hate you. I was... angry. I was angry and I was tired, and I was maybe a little too harsh. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

percy | scanlan.

pepperbox
2017-02-23 08:17 am UTC (link)

Yes, you fucking do.

You weren't though. Not with me. With Vex, yes. She deserved better than that. But you were right about me. I'm selfish. I'm self-centered. I constantly do things that hurt you all. I never think. I just do these things. I dragged you all into a fight that could have killed you, and it wasn't your responsibility to fix my messes. Not with the Briarwoods and not with Ripley. I stabbed Raishan in the fucking council room because I have no ability to keep myself in check. I fucking killed Vex and Grog. And it will keep happening because I can't fucking stay dead like I should. And I'm just going to keep hurting people. And I know I'm the reason you left. You said so. But the others don't deserve that.

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percy | scanlan.

xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-23 08:31 am UTC (link)

[ sharp, intense yelp of pain ] Nope. Nope, still can't leave the room.

I was. I was trying to hurt all of you. When I said all of that, it was... bitterness and exhaustion and frustration that none of you had seemed to notice that I was struggling as much as I was.

And that's why I left. I've been having a really hard time of it lately, Percy. For awhile, really. And there was a time I could do something to make it less difficult, easier to get through, but with the Conclave dead, I couldn't just... throw myself into something else and expect to come out the other side mentally intact.

I've still got Pike's nightgown. It needs a good wash.

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