InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Can I have your number?"

xy_pnuuwhmfua (xy_pnuuwhmfua) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2017-02-21 00:37:00

Entry tags:

grog strongjaw, may parker / spider-woman (earth-982), percy de rolo, scanlan shorthalt, vax'ildan, vex'ahlia

voice post.
What the- Kaylie! FUCK. KAYLIE! [ a string of slightly unintelligible cursing ] This shit was supposed to stop happening.

[ a sudden and intense crash of thunder followed by the sound of doors falling off hinges ] Oh. SHIT. They were already unlocked. Well... That's one door solidly defeated, at least. [ slight humourless laugh, muttering ] God, inside jokes are a lot less fun without people around who appreciate them.

Kaylie? If you can hear me in whatever weird random room you're stuck in, the doors are unlocked! I repeated, the doors are unlocked, you do not have to attack them.

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Voice Response

mayflowers
2017-02-21 05:55 am UTC (link)

So this is the part where we're not going to say 'Calm Down' -- which I've never really understood why people say that anyway, like what good does it even do? -- but we're getting way off topic here.

So, first thing's first, congratulations on defeating the door. Those things are sneaky jerks when you first get here, let me tell you what. It's a good thing you got it out of the way early, saves having to take revenge for a stubbed toe in the middle of the night when all you really wanted was some ice cream.

Secondly,someone missing? I can rouse the buddy and we can come help you take a look if you want?

Third, we should probably do introductions huh? I'm May -- friends call me Mayday, some people call me Spider-Woman, though not so much here. Mostly it's Mayday. And uh, I'd say welcome to Jurrasic Park, but that seems like an absolutely terrible thing to day. So. Hi? Yes. We'll go with that Hi.

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xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-21 06:06 am UTC (link)

Hello... random mysterious voice that has appeared... out of somewhere? I'm not seeing anything that would... Oh, wait. That glowing box is probably something. Glowing things tend to be. But it's... definitely not magic. It's... something, all right.

[ quietly, with a mix of confusion, wistfulness, and melancholy ] Percy would love this thing.

[ sudden clearing of his throat ] But. Yes. I seem to have... misplaced my daughter. Or she's been misplaced. Or kidnapped. Also a possibility. And considering this is kind of my first day as a real dad, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to replace your child. Even if she is basically fully grown and capable of taking care of herself.

Scanlan. Scanlan Shorthalt, at your service. My friends call me many things. Of course, they don't really call me at all anymore, but that's beside the point. I'd appreciate the help. I don't really see her where I am, so it's probably best to head ou- OW. OW FUCK. OW OW SHIT FUCK.

[ sudden heavy thunk followed by labored breathing ] Why... I can't leave.

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mayflowers
2017-02-21 06:15 am UTC (link)

Magic, technology, same difference really. One's just got more understanding roped to it than others. I mean I don't understand the wizardry that is a lot of things either but yeah. It's your link to pretty much anyone and everyone who's here. Which is a lot of people, all of which are super on board with helping people find missing kids. It's pretty much the only thing I like doing more than getting cats out of trees and something I'm much better at.

Kidnapped seems unlikely if you just got here? I'm not going to pretend to know everyone, but I feel like enough people frown on kidnapping in such a small space that...well...it really just wouldn't go so well.

[ Au audible pause is taken to let the swearing run its course ]

Well, That one I don't really have an answer for, haven't figure it out yet. But. Your Daughter. What's her name? Considering the whole PDA thing is new, I'm guessing we haven't checked the records to see if maybe she got here before you? -- Which I know is probably super weird but uh, time is funny here, in that it works the same way for everyone once you get here, but not at all the same before that -- which is a terrible explanation of what's going on and I promise you a better one eventually Scanlan. For now. We avoid panic and find your daughter...

And ask how you got to be a Dad of a full grown kid? I mean, it happened to my Dad too, so not all that weird, but it sounds like maybe a story to tell while I see what I can dig up for you?

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xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-21 06:27 am UTC (link)

I meant more... kidnapped from where we were, which was definitely the middle of a forest. Not a city named after dinosaurs. Why is the city named after dinosaurs, exactly? Not many people know they're a thing. It's one of my classic intimidation tactics, actually. Turn into a dinosaur and scare the shit out of people who don't know what it is.

[ long exhale ] Kaylie. Her name's Kaylie. Short, brown hair, freckles, mischievous glint in her eye. Probably either cursing at or punching someone right now. Possibly both.

And that's... not really a long story. Youthful indiscretions, followed by forty years of gadding about, and then being confronted at swordpoint. About standard for your common useless lech.

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mayflowers
2017-02-21 06:59 am UTC (link)

Well, okay, not that it's any consolation, but that's not how this works? Or at least we don't think so at the moment? It seems that people show up here sans any real rhyme or reason, so I don't think you were kidnapped or stolen. Which is a good thing? I mean it's not as good of a thing as if we actually had answers as to why, or why we can't just whisk ourselves away if we feel so inclined, but the people here are nice and the food is good and -- hold the phone. You can turn into a Dinosaur? Like legit polymorphing or is it a superpower? And props to you for good intimidation techniques because whoa man dinosaurs are way scary and -- right.

So. Dinosaurs are a thing here. Like a real live, very sharp teeth, bad breath, thing. But they're behind big fences with lots of electricity that the guest guide strong advises against touching or climbing.

But that begs the question of how do you know about dinosaurs and [ an equally deep breath] Right. One thing at a time. Kaylie. Kaylie what? Since you two just met -- and by the way, useless lech Dad's don't usually panic about their missing daughters they just met, just want to point that out -- does she have the same last name as you?

The registry isn't showing a Kaylie, so it's possible she's not here, unless she just showed up and isn't in the records yet, which is decidedly possible. Seems like we're getting an influx of midnight arrivals, but we're going to keep an eye out okay? I promise, if she's here, we're gonna find here.

I'm big on families staying together.

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xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-21 07:34 am UTC (link)

[ quiet chuckle ] Legit polymorphing. It's a bit difficult the first time, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. I'm pretty much a pro at pterodactyl, and I took on like... fifty guys as a stegosaurus once. I can change other people, too. If you're interested. Maybe later, though.

That's... good to know. Definitely not going to climb it. I've had more than my share of overgrown lizards lately.

Kaylie. Kaylie... [ sudden stop before the next words are drawn out in confusion and distress ] I-don't-knooooow. I... I think she's a Shorthalt. She's probably a Shorthalt. I've always called her a Shorthalt, but I've never actually... asked if her last name is different. And... Shit. She hated me for so long, why would she have kept my last name? I probably... should not have assumed, but yes. Shorthalt. Let's just go with Shorthalt.

See? Useless. Pretty useless. Pretty extremely useless.

Thanks. Really. I appreciate it.

[ there's a sudden, rather broken and nervous laugh ] Yeah. Yeah. Me, too. Very big on keeping families together. Very big on that.

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mayflowers
2017-02-22 04:37 am UTC (link)

[ A quick an excited breath bites back the desire to dive into a ramble ] That is awesome. I mean, I'm not so sure how I'd do as a dinosaur, but I will absolutely take a demonstration. I'll trade you one. Or give you a Spider's eye view of the place. Not the actual Spider but like, well, I'll show you. When this is over. It probably won't be as exciting for a guy who can turn into a dinosaur, but it could be fun?

And lately? Like you've got a history or do you mean since landing here?

[ Another breath, this one to pull her back on track ]

This is not a sign of useless. I mean, okay, it's not the sunshine and rainbow story we'd like to have, but, sometimes those don't happen. I learned a long time ago that what really counts is how hard you work to make a go of it when you have the chance. My parents sure did mess up and, you know, kids do too. It's kind of the nature of the relationship. Besides, who knows, maybe the two of you getting to see dinosaurs and eat pizza is just what you need for the bonding and making up for lost time.

Heck, my Dad and I have made a go of it and he's from a version of reality where I never even got a chance to be born. He didn't even know me until I was an adult. I'll totally vouch for the fact that your first response too was to panic and go looking for her, and to battle all the doors that might have been between you two. I feel like these things will earn lots of points.

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xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-22 04:47 am UTC (link)

I'm definitely up for a trade. I'd be nice to use my skills for a bit of fun again. I can't really remember the last time I did.

Dragons. Way too many fucking dragons.

This is all really sweet, and I do appreciate it. But I think you're giving me way, way more credit than I deserve. If I weren't a useless shit, I would have stuck around the first time, and she wouldn't have had to track me down. But I run away from things.

Except, this time, it's looking like running isn't an option.

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Voice Response -

mayflowers, 2017-02-22 05:02 am UTC

Voice Response -

xy_pnuuwhmfua, 2017-02-22 05:08 am UTC

	voice response. pepperbox 2017-02-22 04:58 am UTC (link)
	[ Percy sounds less angry than he does hurt and tired. ] You hypocritical asshole. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	voice response. xy_pnuuwhmfua 2017-02-22 05:04 am UTC (link)
	[ Scanlan sounds surprised and then annoyed ] Percy? What-- Did you guys do this? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. pepperbox 2017-02-22 05:06 am UTC (link)
	Did we...you think we dragged you to a bizarre alternate world none of us understand? How would we even do that? You know what...no. I don't even want to know. You abandoned us because you said we didn't care about you because we didn't know things you refused to tell us and you don't even know your daughter's last name. You are such a fucking hypocrit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

voice response.

xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-22 05:15 am UTC (link)

Oh, yes, and who decided it would be absolutely hilarious to mess with my dead body so that I would wake up incapacitated and confused? I may have woken up in worst positions at the brothels, but-- That's not the point. The POINT is that that just screams caring compassionate friend right there.

Look. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a useless fucking idiot. I know that. Okay? I'm a hopeless excuse for a father. Don't you think I know that already? Why the hell do you think I--

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voice response.

pepperbox
2017-02-22 05:28 am UTC (link)

I did. Because I was drunk and exhausted and coming off a resurrection of my own and I make shit choices on the best of days. And you died and I didn't know any other way to deal with it. Because it seemed like a fucking fitting tribute. Something you would enjoy. Because that's what we do. We come up with the horrible ideas and say the fucked up things nobody else will. Because you're the only one who comes close to understanding that part of me.

And it's not like you haven't done just as shit things. You fucked with my memory as a joke, knowing it wouldn't just mess with me but Vex too.

No. You don't get to hide behind that. You left us. You decided to do that. And you know what, fine. But don't pretend you left us for our own good. Because you know us. And you knew what that would do to us. Vex and Vax have already been abandoned by one father. Grog offered his fucking vestige to get you back and you spit in his face. Keyleth only sees family as something that leaves now. You broke Pike's heart. And I will fucking fight you before I let you act like you did it to help us. You did it because you were scared. Well newsflash, we're all scared. We're terrified.

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voice response.

xy_pnuuwhmfua
2017-02-22 05:36 am UTC (link)

[ extended silence before Scanlan responses with a sputtering of words ] You? Again? I- When did it... Was it- Of course it was after me. That's the only way I wouldn't have... I- Fucking shit.

I tried to fix it! It was only after I realized I couldn't do that that I- I had to do something. I fucked up. I know I- But I-

I can't protect any of you anymore! I'm too small and I'm too weak and I'm not fast enough. And when I tried, I just fail, and I have to watch you die again and again when I can't...

You are all better off without me.

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	voice response. pepperbox 2017-02-22 05:40 am UTC (link)
	I stabbed a Feebleminded dragon and it became fixated. I don't give a shit. Fuck you. We don't need you to protect us. It's not your job to single-handedly keep us alive. We're a fucking family and you just- Fucking fight me, Shorthalt! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	voice response. xy_pnuuwhmfua 2017-02-22 05:45 am UTC (link)
	It is my fucking job, Percival Frederickstein Von Dickhead. It's always been my job. You can't be serious. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)