InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Steal yourself"

Rowan Grayjoy (r_grayjoy) wrote in hp_wankfest,
@ 2011-04-15 11:16:00

Entry tags:

modly, poll, wank warm-up

Reminder and Wanktastic Poll
First, a reminder that your pieces are due in two days! We do hope they're coming soon (ha ha). If you need a couple of extra days, shoot us a quick email to let us know you're working on it. Hey, sometimes these things take time... We understand! We'd just like to know how many fics/arts to expect.

Now, while we're all waiting for the main event, we bring you the first wanktastic poll of 2011:

Poll #6049 Wanktastic Poll #1
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Which students wank the most?

View Answers

Gryffindors
22 (43.1%)

Hufflepuffs
14 (27.5%)

Ravenclaws
12 (23.5%)

Slytherins
15 (29.4%)

Which Head of House Wanks the most?

View Answers

Filius Flitwick
4 (7.8%)

Horace Slughorn
13 (25.5%)

Minerva McGonagall
7 (13.7%)

Pomona Sprout
4 (7.8%)

Severus Snape
29 (56.9%)

Which DADA teacher wanks the most?

View Answers

Alastor Moody (the man needs some serious stress relief)
4 (7.8%)

Amycus Carrow (evil wanker; 'nuff said)
2 (3.9%)

Dolores Umbridge (pretending to be sweet, girlish, and civil is rough)
4 (7.8%)

Gilderoy Lockhart (because he really, really loves himself)
22 (43.1%)

Quirenus Quirrel (your would too if you had a Dark Lord on your head)
0 (0.0%)

Remus Lupin (it's that insatiable werewolf sex drive)
13 (25.5%)

Severus Snape (all that angst and drama has to be channeled into something)
17 (33.3%)

(Post a new comment)

	cinnamonselkie.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 03:36 pm UTC (link)
	I find these results fairly dubious so far...I'm pretty sure Snape would have a much more relaxed outlook on life if he got some decent wanking in between Potions classes and Death Eater meetings ;D (Reply to this) (Thread)

	r_grayjoy 2011-04-15 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	Wholeheartedly agreed. I've never seen a man more in need of a good wank in my life! Clearly Flitwick and Sprout are the greatest wankers of all, what with their cheery demeanors. ;D (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	akatnamedeaster 2011-04-15 07:28 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, Snape strikes me as a "once a week, over in five minutes or less" type. :P (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	r_grayjoy 2011-04-16 07:56 am UTC (link)
	OMG, THIS. For when he just can't control his unfortunate impulses any longer. LMAO (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bridgetmkennitt 2011-04-15 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	laughs That's a very good point! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	elfflame 2011-04-15 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	Slytherins don't need to wank. They're too busy jumping into each others' beds. ;D (Reply to this) (Thread)

	r_grayjoy 2011-04-15 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	Indeed! Slytherins are such opportunists. ::smirk:: (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ragdoll 2011-04-15 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	I am quite dismayed that there wasn't a question about which Weasley wanks the most (we all know it's Percy... ;)) The results so far are quite illuminating. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	r_grayjoy 2011-04-16 07:57 am UTC (link)
	Well, this IS only the first poll. ::shifty eyes:: Aren't they? ;P (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ragdoll 2011-04-16 08:05 am UTC (link)
	A bit predictable but of course, we all know both Snape and Gilderoy are incredible wankers. ;) (Reply to this) (Parent)

psyfic
2011-04-15 10:24 pm UTC (link)

1. Ravenclaws, because they are smart enough to work out all the best places, positions and potions to use for wanking, plus can reason away any guilt/shame their parents or society try to instill in them over doing it.

2. Snape. The problem is it doesn't do any good because he does it furtively and not for pleasure, and tries to wipe it from his mind, feeling disgusted, which only adds to his grumpiness.

3. Gilderoy. natch.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	r_grayjoy 2011-04-16 07:58 am UTC (link)
	1. That only means they're the best at it, not that they do it with the greatest frequency! LOL 2. OMG, this EXACTLY. 3. Was there ever really any doubt? Dumb question, eh? ;P (Reply to this) (Parent)