Tweak

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Tweak says, "99 Red Ballons"

Peter Pettigrew (p__pettigrew) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-04-13 10:00:00

Entry tags:

character: albus s. potter, character: james s. potter, character: lily evans potter, character: peter pettigrew

RP: The Memorial
Who: Open to all
When: 13 April
Where: Dearly Departed Funeral Home and Cemetery located at#14 Godric Street, Hogsmeade.
What: There's a memorial for Cassandra

- The cemetery is a lot fuller of tombstones since at the start of the pandemic, people were being buried there.
- The tomb stones are partially covered in weeds
- Cassandra's grave is obviously the cleanest with a simple stone with her name, date of birth and date of death
- There were flowers on the grave thanks to Remus.
- Savannah spoke first. Peter spoke as well.

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	OOC Info p__pettigrew 2021-04-13 02:01 pm UTC (link)
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	Before the memorial p__pettigrew 2021-04-13 02:02 pm UTC (link)
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Jamie & Lily

curseseeker
2021-04-14 03:16 am UTC (link)

"Ready to go?" Jamie asked as he approached his too-young grandmother outside the entrance to Gryffindor tower.

He'd been doing a lot of thinking the last several days. Possibly too much. But, the memory swap had rattled him and he was finding it difficult to regain his equilibrium. Talking with Savannah had also given him a lot more to think about, too. He knew he'd been quieter than usual at family lunch the day before. Quieter than usual the last few days, really. What little trust he'd had in his father, aunt, and uncle had been shaken by the whole Obliviation issue. And, yet, he hadn't mentioned it to anyone, still protecting the family image. He'd seen how little chance he had to stop his father from going down the path that would lead to where he'd been in Jamie's time. (And he was steadfastly refusing to acknowledge that he was becoming 'my father' in Jamie's thoughts.) The extent to which the others would enable the destructive behaviour and side with him no matter what just stacked the deck against Jamie's attempts even more.

So, he'd been thinking.

But, he set that aside now so that he could make some time to get to know his grandmother.

Who was four years younger than he was.

That was never going to not be weird.

"Grandpa James doesn't mind you walking down with me instead of him," he asked, smiling a bit as he came up to her. Grandpa James didn't seem the type, but Jamie was still getting to know him, too. So, feeling out the boundaries.

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Jamie & Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-15 07:31 pm UTC (link)

"Yes, of course." Lily responded with a somber smile as she looked up at her grandson.

She was still sorting through her feelings regarding being a grandmother. On the surface, she was excited, but knowing that her own son didn't have a good relationship with his children was weighing heavy on her mind. She knew deep down that there was no way she could magically fix whatever issues existed between Harry and his kids, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying. She wanted to earn their trust, and show them that she was someone who they could and should feel safe around. And while she suspected that it wouldn't be easy, Lily's determination was up for the challenge. There was absolutely nothing that could stop her from forging a relationship with her grandchildren, other than them deciding they didn't want anything to do with her.

Which would be just heartbreaking.

She had the nagging sensation that if she managed to get any of them to talk about Harry, it would take time.

Thankfully, at the moment, she had plenty of that.

And this was rather important.

"Of course not, darling," she demurred, wrapping her arm around his easily as she fell into step beside him. Lily had already told James that she would be meeting up with Jamie, so he knew not to worry. He'd already gotten to spend time with the grandkids, it was her turn now.

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Re: Jamie & Lily

curseseeker
2021-04-16 01:10 am UTC (link)

Jamie shrugged he free shoulder, patting a hand over the one of hers tucked in his elbow for a brief moment. "Never can tell. An event like this, makes some people want to cling to their partners a little tighter."

While it wasn't a reaction he was used to, except maybe for his other grandparents and an uncle and aunt or two, Jamie had seen the people at the memorials for the war when he was younger. Not as much now, time and distance had faded the urgency of emotion that had followed in the first decade or so after the war. But, he remembered seeing wives and husbands clinging to each other, wondering why his parents weren't like that.

It was different here, of course. It was the death of one woman most of them didn't know well, the memorial more about closure for them after the castle's fit of pique.

"Are you surviving staying in the tower with the Marauders?" he asked after a moment as he started walking. "I've been told things there have a very 1976 nostalgia vibe."

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Jamie & Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-17 08:35 pm UTC (link)

Lily nodded at his comment, meeting his eyes as offered him a knowing grin. "I'd say these kinds of events make people want to cling to the ones they care about a little tighter, not just their partners."

Although she couldn't remember the last time she went to a memorial, the desire to hold Harry a little tighter when she heard news of another friends' passing was not foreign to Lily. Losing people was something that never got easier, no matter how long it might've been when you last saw them. In a way, finding out that she and James died so close together made her feel slightly better since it meant neither had to be without the other for long.

Regardless of the fact that she hardly knew the woman they were celebrating, she understood the need for adhering to tradition for purposes of closure.

"I am, for the most part," she laughed quietly, amused at how he phrased the question. "I wouldn't mind finding somewhere for James and I, but for the time being the tower will do."

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Re: Jamie & Lily

curseseeker
2021-04-18 12:03 am UTC (link)

"Maybe. About the only type of Memorial I've ever attended are the ones for the war. My generation doesn't feel it as much. It's...history books for us. So, it's mostly parents both attending and doing the clinging." Not his parents, of course. They attended. But there was no clinging. Half the aunts and uncles didn't either.

Jamie chuckled. "I think your options are rather limited to the tower or the rest of the castle, which isn't much more private, really. Look at it this way. You're probably in the safest place in the castle, since from what I hear Remus insisted on setting a password to enter and set up a whole load of protections before I arrived, even." The werewolf hadn't said, but Jamie suspected it had been related to Greyback's appearance. Although, Remus seemed to have mellowed some toward the wolf who had bitten him. "Maybe Dad's room might be more fortified. And the Headmaster's. But, other than that..."

Jamie couldn't imagine Harry Potter not obsessively casting protection charms...'just in case'. It had been one of the earliest lessons he'd taught Jamie. 'Just in case'. And the headmaster's quarters had always been well protected.

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Jamie & Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-18 09:03 pm UTC (link)

"Your generation is lucky in that respect, although I've no doubt that you all keenly felt the weight of the fallout the history books didn't cover." Much like Harry and his generation got to pick up the pieces from the first war, Lily had to assume that Jamie's generation was in a similar position.

Lily shrugged again. "It's not terrible, just a bit odd, is all. At this point in my life I didn't really see myself married and living at the school, although things could always be worse. At least we have somewhere relatively safe to live, and doors can be warded or password protected." Not that Lily could think of many people she and James might want to keep out most of the time. "Does your father use a lot of protection charms?" It wouldn't surprise her if he did, even with people saying there were no threats to deal with.

Lily still sometimes had nightmares about Voldemort finding the house. Having Harry confirm that she and James died protecting him did little to help those even here in the future.

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Re: Jamie & Lily

curseseeker
2021-04-18 09:29 pm UTC (link)

"Some did and some didn't. You guys, your generation and Dad's, you actually accomplished the whole 'building a better world for the children' thing in a lot of ways. Society as a whole really improved after the war. At least, as far as some things went. Most of my generation didn't have to grow up afraid of dark wizards coming to kill them or getting owls at school that their parents had been killed. We could go to school and know that we weren't going to be forced to torture our classmates as a 'lesson'."

It hadn't been the same for Jamie and his siblings, of course. That was part of the Potter legacy, worrying about security and invasions of privacy, time with their father consisting of learning spells to protect themselves and their younger siblings, particularly in Jamie's case. Being taught a dark wizard could be out there lying in wait anywhere...only to realize years later most of the dark wizards were in his father's nightmares.

"I don't think most of us think we'll be living at the school past eighteen, unless we're here to teach," he pointed out with a grin before nodding. "Dad has always been very defence and protection oriented. Growing up our house was ridiculously protected. Although, now that I think about it, I'm not sure how much of that was Dad and how much was left over from the Order and the Black family spells. But, Dad taught us protection charms and defensive spells from a young age. He was The Chosen One and, eventually, Head Auror. There was always a target on his back and we could have been used to get to him."

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Jamie & Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-19 07:00 pm UTC (link)

"Well, at least that's one thing that we got right. As a parent, that's the goal. You want to make things better for you children. Mainly so they're not stuck cleaning up your messes. Not having to grow up afraid is one of the best gifts we could give to those we left behind. Still, the scars that the survivors are left with can be both dangerous and scary in their own right." Many of those scars were invisible, which made dealing with them even harder.

She knew, regardless of any denials or evidence to the contrary, that Harry had to have some residual mental and emotional scarring from everything he went through. How that impacted him and his family was something that Lily was still doing her utmost to determine. She hadn't thought to ask Harry about all that yet, as she wanted their reunion to be mostly happy.

"Too true, which prompts the question... if you had to take over teaching any subject here, which one would you go with?" The question may have come off as random, but Lily was legitimately curious. She also wanted to know what Jamie thought he would be doing if they weren't here, but that was a query for another time. "Growing up like that can't have been easy on you or your siblings. While I clearly don't know of everything you've been through, you seem like a smart and relatively well-adjusted young man, so bully for you."

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Re: Jamie & Lily

curseseeker
2021-04-20 01:06 am UTC (link)

Jamie nodded. "They can be both of those things, especially when ignored or dismissed. Everyone was in such a hurry to move on from the war, create the change they wanted to see, I don't think a lot of them ever took the time to deal with their experiences. It was the same after your war, from what I've read, the stories Grandma Molly and Grandpa Arthur tell. Easier to pretend everything's okay than to admit to having a problem."

And if that didn't sum up the entire Potter family, Jamie didn't know what did. They all used 'fine' like it was a cloak that could conceal their pain from anyone.

Laughing at the incongruous nature of the question, he stopped to think about the answer for a minute, especially as his instinctive response was anything but Defence, which was sure to raise an eyebrow. "Flying, as long as Savannah isn't my competition for the gig. Don't tell her I admitted this, but the woman can fly circles around me without even trying. I've always like Transfiguration and Ancient Runes, too. I've even gotten to be a fair hand at reading the Ogham runes with my job."

He shook his head. "You get used to it after awhile. I mean, the press and the expectations, they've always been there. Privacy and security...yeah, it's not easy. But, it's just a part of life, you know? I think the month I've been here has been the longest I've gone without having to sneak out my own front door, honestly," he added with a chuckle.

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Jamie & Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-20 09:31 pm UTC (link)

Lily sighed. "If I've learned anything at all about my experiences, it's that you have to deal with what you've been through. Pushing it down or ignoring it just makes the inevitable crash when you can't stamp it down anymore even worse. Even being here, after learning what happened to James, Harry, and I, the first thing I did was go looking for answers to try and understand why certain things happened the way they did."

Of course, like any good information hunt, the answers just raised more questions. Lily hadn't been surprised by that, though, and was hopeful that soon she would run out of questions as well.

Hearing her grandson laugh was worth the silliness of the question, which she felt served its' purpose when she saw him actually thinking about his answer. "I wonder if your grandfather has seen Savannah flying. He's always been obsessed with Quidditch. It's not often that one hears of someone professing an enjoyment of Ancient Runes. What was it you were doing before coming here?"

She nodded sadly. "It shouldn't be something you have to get used to, but I suppose I understand. People can take things like privacy and their security for granted unless they've been having to work for it all their lives. I hope this vacation from sneaking about has been helpful for you."

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Re: Jamie & Lily

curseseeker
2021-04-21 02:10 am UTC (link)

"That's not the way society works, though. Society wants to move on, get passed the ugliness, as quickly as possible. War is over. Mourn the dead. Then get on with life, rebuild, prove it's all behind us now." Jamie shrugged. "A lot of people would rather just pretend they weren't affected by it, brush it under the rug and try to forget it happened."

The turn in her curiosity caused another laugh to come slipping out. "Oh, he's seen it. Just before the castle threw it's little fit, a quidditch match was organized. Your generation versus Dad's and ours. Grandpa James not only saw her fly, he had the privilege of having us wipe the pitch with his team," he added with a grin before explaining further. "I've been working for Gringott's as a cursebreaker. Last several months I've been posted here in Scotland at Goblin Hall. But, I was expecting to hear on a dig in Moldova any day when Al and I arrived."

Sighing, he shook his head. "Now you sound like Dad. But, it's honestly not that bad, dealing with the press and the public. It's just the way it is. Think back to your time, the society pages filled with pureblood heiresses marrying eligible pureblood heirs? That's us now. Dad and his friends, the D.A., they saved the world and became the new society elite as a result. They are the people making our laws, setting the example for acceptable behaviour, influencing fashion and social trends, driving economy. We were born to privilege and with that privilege comes a certain level of obligation." He winked at her. "The Potter legacy's grown a bit from your time, that's all."

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	After the memorial p__pettigrew 2021-04-13 02:02 pm UTC (link)
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Albus/Lily

the_other_albus
2021-04-13 09:00 pm UTC (link)

Al hadn't planned to go to the memorial. Not because he disliked Cassandra, she had seemed nice enough and it was a shame that she had died. Still, the whole castle would be there and Al found his tolerance for groups was getting smaller and smaller. If not for Scorpius and the Potter lunches Al could easily have gone days without seeing a single other person. Being Jamie had only heightened his anti-social tendencies, if that was even possible. Those ten days of being bold and charismatic had left him feeling painfully inadequate, and he especially didn't want to make his brother feel the need to stick up for him more than he already did. But Lily had wanted to see him, and he couldn't exactly say no to her.

He waited while people paid their respects, hovering quietly in the back trying the best he could to not attract attention. He would let Lily take as much time as she needed, and then intercept her on her way out of the cemetery.

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Albus/Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-15 07:46 pm UTC (link)

Lily had no idea that Al was only here because of her. She noticed him hanging back from the crowd, making a mental note to ask him about it later. She could hardly blame him, knowing from experience that memorial services could be depressing, draining affairs. Still, it was polite to attend these things, even if one wasn't fully certain who the person it was for was. It would have surprised Lily to learn that Albus felt as though he couldn't say no to her, since that seemed ridiculous to her. She wanted her grandchildren to feel comfortable enough around her to be honest and speak freely. Not to be scared of somehow disappointing her.

She shared her condolences, giving James a quick hug before slipping out of the crowd to meet up with Albus. She got the impression that he was doing his best to fade into the background, and would respect that. She had no issues with letting Albus pick where they spoke, as this was about getting to know him.

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Re: Albus/Lily

the_other_albus
2021-04-15 08:37 pm UTC (link)

Al smiled as Lily walked closer, glad to see her despite his discomfort. While they hadn't exactly talked a lot he did already like her. She wasn't as loud as the rest of the family, which was nice, and she always had a sort of calming presence. Even the tension between Dad, Jamie, and Lilu was a little less now they she was here. Not that they were getting along. It actually seemed that, of the three of them, Al was getting along the best with their father. Which was something he still couldn't quite come to terms with.

"Hi," he said, raising a hand only slightly awkwardly and stepping away from the tree. "That, uh, that was a, uh, was a nice, a nice service." Which was true, but still a pretty banal thing to say. There were still a lot of people here though, and Al couldn't quite get his nerves under control.

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Albus/Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-15 11:30 pm UTC (link)

Lily grinned up at Albus, taking in the sight of him. Although she saw him for their daily lunches, she felt like that wasn't the best place to really get a sense for her grandchildren. Everyone seemed to smile and act polite when they all got together, but it all felt a bit forced to her. As of yet, Lily hadn't seen anything to give her insight into why Harry felt that his children didn't get along with him. Was it too much to ask for an open and honest relationship with her grandchildren?

"Hello, dear," she responded as she raised a hand in greeting as well. "I agree, she was very clearly loved, and I'm sure her presence here will be missed." She could feel the anxiety rolling off him in waves. "Shall we walk somewhere more private?"

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Re: Albus/Lily

the_other_albus
2021-04-16 01:10 am UTC (link)

"Oh, um, yeah, that, uh, that would, um, yeah. Let's, uh, let's do that."

He started walking away, hands shoved deeply into his pockets.

"She, um, she seemed nice." He said, in response to what she'd said before. "I, I didn't, I didn't really know her. Cassandra. But, uh, yeah. She seemed nice. It's a shame."

He relaxed slightly the farther they got away from the crowd. He knew it wasn't a crowd in the real sense of the word, he'd been thrust into the middle of actual giant crowds BJ's entire life, but he still didn't like it when everyone at the castle was gathered in one place. It felt stifling in a different way to the giant groups of faceless masses. Al couldn't disappear fully into this crowd. There was always someone who would notice him. He didn't like that.

"Did you, um, did you have a, a nice, morning?" As far as small talk went it was pretty pathetic, but Al knew he had a habit of letting conversations die before they began and he really did want to make an effort with Lily.

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Albus/Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-17 09:41 pm UTC (link)

"I've always found it's easier to chat when you don't have to strain to hear the other person."

She rushed to keep up with him, wondering where he got his height from.

"I didn't really know her either." She confessed, giving a slight shrug. "It's always a shame when someone leaves us, especially if its' before their time. That seems to make it more shocking."

She was keeping a close eye on him as they walked. She had so many questions for him but didn't want to ask them just yet, hoping they might come up in the natural flow of conversation between them. There was something about young Albus that made walking with him in occasional silence peaceful. Lily had the feeling that he was the type who had a dozen ideas flitting through his mind at any moment. A real thinker.

"I did, for the most part. Didn't feel all that hungry, though." It wasn't as though she wanted to vent to her grandson, but Lily wasn't going to lie to him. "And you? How was your morning?"

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Re: Albus/Lily

the_other_albus
2021-04-17 09:47 pm UTC (link)

There was something in Lily's voice, something sort of sad, and Al wondered what might be bothering her. She'd come here with Jamie, he saw. Had that not gone well? He knew Jamie didn't get along with Harry but he couldn't imagine him being rude to Lily.

"Oh, uh, it was fine." He slowed down to match her speed, no longer desperate to get away as they left the funeral crowd behind them.

"Did, um..." He wasn't sure how to bring it up, but thought not asking at all would be a mistake. "Did something, uh, did you, um, did, did," he stopped himself, taking a deep breath like that Healer had told him to do. One of the many Healers his mother had dragged him to as a child to try to fix him.

"Did something, happen? That, that made you not want to, um, want to, uh, eat?" There, that was a coherent question, right? Maybe. Sort of. Bollocks. "If you, uh, want to tell me that, that is. I, uh, I won't, I won't spread it, spread it around." He smiled, even if it was a painfully awkward smile. "I don't, uh, I don't talk to, to anyone anyway."

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Albus/Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-18 09:19 pm UTC (link)

Try as she might to focus purely on spending time with Albus, all Lily wanted to do was make sense of everything Peter had told her. And it wasn't entirely fair to her sweet grandson for her to be so scatterbrained.

"That's good." She noticed the thoughtful way he slowed down, not calling attention to her more leisurely pace or making a big deal about it.

"That's very kind of you to ask, sweetheart." She responded with a rueful smile, not wanting to burden him with her problems. "A conversation I had with someone who I thought was a friend turned out to be more informative than I originally expected it to be, and not in a good way."

Looking up at him with a one-shouldered shrug, she injected as much positivity into her tone as she could manage. "I'm terribly sorry if you thought people disappointing you was something that you could could get used to in time, since in my experience it never fails to cut just as deeply as the first time you go through it." She paused. "Oh my, I'm being quite the downer, aren't I? My apologies."

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Re: Albus/Lily

the_other_albus
2021-04-18 09:56 pm UTC (link)

Albus stopped, touching Lily gently on the shoulder. He wasn't much of a toucher, with anyone but Scorpius anyway, but seeing her unhappy did things to his insides and he almost, sort of, wanted to give her a hug.

"No, uh, it's okay. You can, you can talk to me. If, if you, if you want." He tried to think of her like Lilu. Because while the relationship was different Al was finding the desire to protect her was the same. "I, I don't have much, much experience being, being dissapointed," he said softly. "Usually I'm the, I'm the one, the one disapointing everyone else. But, but I'm a good listener. If, if you need that." He tried to think of who her friends here would be. Sirius. Remus. Was there anyone else? It had always struck him how none of the books talked about Lily's life or her friends. Just James, and the Marauders, and their influence on Harry. Not once, in any of the hundreds of things written about "the Boy Who Lives" was there a mention about Lily beyond her relationship to James, and Harry, and James' friends. He hadn't thought about it much before, but it struck him now as very sad.

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Albus/Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-19 06:05 pm UTC (link)

Lily blinked, certainly not expecting that kind of gesture from Albus. She was doing her best to be respectful of the obvious discomfort of touching that he displayed, but his brief moment of contact gave her hope.

"I think, right now, I do need that. If you don't mind." She was so used to being strong and being the one others went to for comfort, that the thought of opening up to someone about her own stresses seemed foreign to Lily. And hearing young Albus offer his ear, despite knowing he thought of himself as awkward, and apparently as a disappointment, had heart swelling with pride. She knew there was more to Albus than he let on, and wanted to help him realize his potential now more than ever. "It's been very jarring, coming here, and finding out what happened to me and the people I care for. And I know in the scheme of things it might sound stupid, for me to be upset over something trivial, but discovering that a sizable problem may have been averted if only someone I trusted chose to talk to and trust in me instead of just assuming I knew everything... well, I mistakenly thought I meant as much to him as he meant to me, and it hurts to learn that I was wrong."

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Re: Albus/Lily

the_other_albus
2021-04-19 08:21 pm UTC (link)

Al reached out hesitantly, then gently wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders. It wasn't exactly a hug, but it was about a comforting as he knew how to be.

"It's, it's not stupid," he said gently. "This, coming, coming here, all of it, it must be, must be a lot. To deal with. And, and finding out what happens. To you. And Dad, and, and all of it. I can't even imagine." He wondered who had hurt her, and what he could do to pay him back. He doubted it was Remus. So, Sirius? Or, actually, Peter. Peter was the one who betrayed them, after all. But Al wasn't going to jump to conclusions.

"When, when communication breaks down, that's, that's when things fall apart." Who would know better than a man who could barely speak? He had often wondered, if he spoke better, maybe more people would have listened to him. Maybe his father, his mother, his grandmother, would have heard more than just the stutter. It didn't matter anyway, there was no point in dwelling on the past.

"Don't, don't ever think your feelings are stupid. They're, they're not. We, my family, we all, well, we all sort of, sort of ignore ours. The Potter motto is, is 'I'm fine' for a, for a reason. But, but I learned from, from Scorpius and, and his dad that, that talking and, and, and really, um, really saying what you, what you feel is... Um. It, it helps." He didn't think he'd ever said this many words to her before. He was mainly silent at their lunches. But he didn't want her thinking that her very understandable hurt wasn't worth feeling or talking about.

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Albus/Lily

lovingsacrifice
2021-04-20 09:13 pm UTC (link)

Lily appreciated the effort, offering her grandson a shaky smile. It was a rather sweet moment, and it made Lily feel as though she was making some progress with Albus.

"You're right, it's not stupid," she agreed. "With everything that I've been through - coming here, learning what happened to James and I, meeting my son as an adult... it's a lot." She may have pushed herself to get answers too quickly, needing to know why Peter did what he chose to so she could figure out how to proceed with him. Which, of course, left her with more questions.

"Talking things out absolutely helps, if you're having that conversation with someone who can put their ego aside long enough to genuinely listen and hear you." Hearing him talk about how his family ignores their feelings sent a pang of regret through her. "I believe that's something your father may have gotten from the Evans side of your bloodline."

It wasn't until after her argument with Severus and subsequent getting to know James that Lily learned how to open herself up to actually discussing things that bothered her. "I'm glad that your friend Scorpius and his father have been able to help you learn that speaking up for yourself is important. I know I have to talk to James about what I learned, but I'm not sure it will help. You see, I guess I mistakenly thought that when you got involved with someone and went out of your way to get into their friends' good graces, those people become your friends as well. Finding out that wasn't the case has opened up my eyes, but it's also left me with a bad taste in my mouth."

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