InsaneJournal

holy god, gooseberry TAKE ME BACK.

it has only been like 70 hours and i have already been forced to go to the nitehawk with my nieces and watch 'frozen' SEVEN TIMES. SEVEN. SO FAR. if you have not yet had the mis good mis FORTUNE. IF YOU HAVE NOT YET HAD THE i-don't-know-which-prefix-fits-best-here-FORTUNE - well, don't. really.

first time? totally okay. legit disney movie - plot holes. sure. whatever. they happen to the best of us. idina menzel has the voice of a very gifted angel who will inevitably win a shit ton of awards for this. we laughed. we cried. it was a wonderful experience for everyone involved.

SEVENTH time? the plot is more holes than plot. the movie is unraveling before my eyes. where was the foreshadowing? is hans just a really incapable villain? does he have an evil twin nobody bothered to tell us about - because, really, ain't nobody planning on shanking a bitch they smile at soppily WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING. is he just a method actor? why didn't they use the PERFECT AND TOTALLY AVAILABLE POINT for a dramatic and darker reprise to 'love is an open door' that was readily available?

HOW IS 'LET IT GO' A GOOD MESSAGE FOR ANYONE? yeah, sure, i totally have a job and responsibilities and shit but, y'know what dudes? screw that noise! people were mildly surprised that i went straight up 'carrie' on some bitches at my dinner party? SO SCREW THEM ALL. and now i'm gonna freeze ALL their asses and SING about it. also, for someone who had no idea how to use their super magic ice powers five seconds ago, you sure as shit got into some advanced interior design and fashion like REAL QUICK. your learning curve is INSANE. and trying to murder your siblings? yeah, sure, man. hella polite. you're a model citizen.

and where the everliving hell were blonde dude's parents? did he just wander off into the fucking woods with his miniature reindeer, never to be heard from again? did NO ONE look for him? what did he EAT IN MAGIC ICE LAND with only rock trolls to raise him? was he kidnapped by the weird, rock-trolls? did the trolls kill his parents? was he already an orphan? why is there NO INFORMATION ON THIS.

AND THE TROLLS. trolls are not jolly. they do not sing things. but, i mean, okay. no-mag suspension of belief glasses on BUT STILL. and, don't get me wrong here, trolls are definitely a part of scandinavian mythology as a whole? but EVEN THOSE trolls? would not want to marry you off to semi-attractive gingers. they'd either force you to become their child-bride and pet their hair at night or they'd straight up assault you.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. also, i respect the fact that my sister has to go out, but i don't WANT to go see it again tomorrow.


wow, sarah. hurtful.