InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'll always be your queer son."

andromeda (sinisand) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2013-06-11 04:01:00

Entry tags:

! journal, ch: bdh: jayne lupin, ch: regen: ted tonks, ch: squib: astrid black, ch: swap: mariana black, ch: thg: andromeda black, ch: thg: filius flitwick, ch: thg: harry potter, ch: thg: james potter, ch: thg: remus lupin, ch: unwind: andromeda tonks, ch: unwind: narcissa black, p: annalisa, p: ashton, p: kaitlin, p: lisa ii, p: mish, p: rachael, p: silyara, p: trish

[...] Ted has been missing for a long time, as well, but I thought [...] I should have mentioned it sooner. I had been processing it in my own time. I hadn't realised these disappearances were so [...] frequent, or that they don't come back. ~~I thoug~~

I just—

I didn't know. ~~I was hoping th~~ ~~He couldn't handle it, it was turning him into something el~~ ~~I wanted us to be alright, Theodore. I love you~~ I'm sorry for those who have lost someone in the recent shift. I'm— here, if you need an ear, or— well, anything.

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this andromeda | mariana

sinisand
2013-06-11 11:35 am UTC (link)

[...] Look how many of us are here. Look how many of us have suffered, Mariana. We all seem so lost, drifting, you and I and Regulus and all of the Siriuses and Walburga and [...] Sometimes I feel like being a Black is like being cursed. Our cross to bear, and I don't even know why. Our ancestors haven't shown up. We have King Arthur, but no Great Uncle Phineas who could explain to us why we are this way.

I wish I had your conviction.

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this andromeda | mariana

incleardreams
2013-06-11 11:57 am UTC (link)

Perhaps it is a curse, but who else can change it but us? In most worlds, we have put purity of blood and magic before family and love and just letting ourselves be happy. Because if we didn't, we would be kicked out.

I've spent far too long wondering what I did wrong. But why did I do anything wrong? It wasn't my fault I was born without magic. I'm worth just as much as the others. I am. And I let them make me think I didn't deserve any of it. I let other people - people who were my family and were supposed to love me no matter what but refused to because of something I couldn't help - dictate whether or not I was happy or felt worthwhile. For years.

If you want to be happy, then I will help you. There are plenty of us who will. It may not happen over night, but we have to try. Don't we?

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this andromeda | mariana

sinisand
2013-06-11 02:11 pm UTC (link)

You didn't do anything wrong, and I still can't believe [...] I wish I could change that, Mariana. I wish I could change the world you come from. You deserve so much happiness, you deserve a loving family, you are the most deserving of the people I've met here so far.

We do. I'm sorry for being a downer. Sometimes, the bleakest tunnels make it hard to find the light at the end. But I do want to be happy. I want to have opportunities, a chance, I want so much that it seems impossible to have any of it at all.

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