InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I am the Walrus"

anders is always up for a spot of (iconoclasm) wrote in doors,
@ 2014-03-19 16:22:00

Entry tags:

cobb, dean winchester, james potter, loki, norman osborn, poison ivy, scarecrow, supergirl

Graham R, Neil D, Tess A, Public
After this: [Text to Graham R]
need your help. check out whatever hit houses you know of near fucking Fremont, yeah? my sister's in one of them. tiny thing, you saw her on the news. drag her ass out. pay whoever for whatever and we'll figure it out fucking later. if you can't get a hold of me, try Tess A on the journals. she'll fucking take Sam. don't say shit to Neil Donovan. feed the cat. thanks

[Locked to Neil D]
Sam's not feeling safe. she's crashing with me.

[Text to Tess A]
leave that fucking casino. make up some excuse. Sam's gonna need you in a bit, yeah? Graham's gonna contact you. answer him and do as he fucking says.

ETA: [public]
your fucking vampire boyfriend, Alexander Murphy, is fucking his sister, Chloe Murphy, Ashleigh D. found that interesting. thought you might too.

ETA II: [Locked to Louis D, Neil D, & Tess A]
[All it is a link, forwarded from Clem's good deed.]

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	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 04:11 am UTC (link)
	[As her smile fades, he takes a deep breath. What to do? What to do? The indecision does not show as he crosses to her and reaches for her hands.] Hi. [A faint quirking of his lips as he tries to smile, but his eyes only look tired, not happy.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D perspective 2014-03-22 04:16 am UTC (link)
	[With everything going on, it's hard to keep a smile on her face, even as he reaches for her hands and their fingers clasp and hold. Ash looks down at their joined hands, and then up towards him.] Hey yourself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 04:19 am UTC (link)
	[He'd like to smile at her, would really like to go back to a few months ago before this whole mess started, but neither is truly possible. Instead he gives her hands a squeeze before gesturing for her to take a seat.] If I said yes, that you could trust me, would you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D perspective 2014-03-22 04:21 am UTC (link)
	[She's quiet as she takes a seat, settling down onto one of the cushioned chairs in the lobby of UMC. There's nothing said for a while, but finally, she lets out a soft sigh.] I want to. I do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 04:25 am UTC (link)
	[For a long while he simply stares at their joined hands, turning them over, flipping them to see pale white against her darker olive tones. She has lovely hands. She is lovely.] Then you're going to hate me by the end of this conversation. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D perspective 2014-03-22 04:27 am UTC (link)
	[Her fingers squeeze his tightly, her own gaze also fixed on their hands, the contrasts between them. When he says that she'll hate him in the end, Ash almost flinches and pulls away, but something has he staying.] Stop dawdling then, and just tell me. Get it over with. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Alexander M/Ash D

predacious
2014-03-22 05:10 am UTC (link)

[He looks up, meets her eyes because she deserves that much.]

Everything your family has said about me and mine is true. Mostly. What they've gotten wrong is only because they don't know the truth, that I've likely already done what they think a dozen times already and feel nothing about doing it again. You want to know if I knew about Sam? I did. And I did nothing to stop it. You want to know if I'm sleeping with Chloe? I'm not currently, but I have. When she asked me if I would protect her from who shot her, I promised to rip their throats out with my teeth. I am a horrid person and before this month is over I'm going to do things that are inconceivable to most because I will always protect my family first.

Which now includes you. And you deserve better than what we're going to drag you into. I don't know what you're going to do with our child. If you want to keep it, if you want to put it up for adoption, but for the love of God, don't let my family know. Not me, not my brothers, or my sisters, because once we know the child is there, we're going to come for it. And they deserve better.

[He pauses, licks his lips.] Once I thought I would have this conversation with joy, that I would get to watch your heart break and feel joy about it, but I don't.

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

perspective
2014-03-22 05:17 am UTC (link)

[She's quiet as he talks, but as he continues on and on, each terrible truth mounting on top of the other, the world feels a little farther away. He slept with his sister. He knew about Sam. Everyone was right and she tried to give him a chance. And then when he says about watching her heart break, that's enough for her. She's up on her feet by the time the last word is said, brown eyes filled with tears, but behind them is an unbelievable amount of hurt.

She thought that maybe, just maybe, whatever he had to say would be something she could forgive him for, but she had trusted him, had shown him parts of her that no one else had seen in years.

Nothing is said, but the tears start to spill over as she tears her hands away from his and puts distance between them, head shaking back and forth and the heartbreak that he had wanted to see... it's there. Written all over her face and the erratic breaths she pulls in.]

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

predacious
2014-03-22 05:25 am UTC (link)

[He sees it and there's nothing but a curdling pain inside his chest. He didn't want this and he wants to go to her but can't. Knows he isn't welcome. That he won't ever be welcome again. And for a moment he just looks old and tired as he blinks and his gaze drops to the floor.]

You're never going to be safe from me and mine. You have to go. It's the only thing I can do for you to keep you away from harm. Go stay in the door if you have to, hide until this whole mess is over, whatever it takes, but, [another lick of his lips, a moment where he can consider his words, but it's the ones that he wants to keep in that come out in a whisper.] I need to know you're safe.

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

perspective
2014-03-22 05:28 am UTC (link)

[He keeps talking, all the words that might have been comfort, but all she can feel is the pain in her chest, that feeling of loss that had been tamped down and smoothed out in the years since Matthew's death. But it's hurting again, in a way she had almost forgotten about, and as he keeps talking, talking about her being safe, something in her snaps.

Two quick steps and she's in front of him, hands planted against his chest as she gives him a hard shove.] Shut up. You don't care a bit if I'm safe. You're enjoying tihs! I trust you and you- you betrayed me! I trusted you and I gave you my heart and how dare you talk about keeping me safe!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 05:31 am UTC (link)
	[He stumbles back with her push.] I'm really, really not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D perspective 2014-03-22 05:34 am UTC (link)
	[Another shove, tears streaming down her face.] And how am I supposed to trust that? Every word from you has been a bloody lie! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 05:37 am UTC (link)
	[He has to clench his fingers and drive his nails into his palms to keep from reaching for her.] Because there's no point in lying anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D perspective 2014-03-22 05:40 am UTC (link)
	Right. Right! Because I'm supposed to believe you now? [She's crying freely now, another shove at him.] You're enjoying this! Don't tell me differently! You've been looking forward to this! Hurt Sam! Knock up Neil's little sister! Let's fuck the entire fucking family over then stomp on them further when they're down! You fucking asshole! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 05:44 am UTC (link)
	[He backs up another step when she pushes at him again.] I'm not! I never intended for you or anyone else to ever get pregnant by me! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Alexander M/Ash D

perspective
2014-03-22 05:46 am UTC (link)

Having a hard time believing you at this point. [She looks like she wants to shove at him again, but she doesn't, instead she retreats back to where she was sitting, collapsing hard into the chair with her head in her hands. She looks positively defeated, shoulders slumped, the hair that had been knotted at the nape of her neck now even messier, loose strands sticking to the sweat that had beaded up along the sides of her neck and hairline.] I feel so stupid.

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	Re: Alexander M/Ash D predacious 2014-03-22 01:20 pm UTC (link)
	[There's an aborted movement, a step forward like he wants to go to her, but realizes it would be unwelcome at best.] I'm sorry, Ashleigh. You believed the very best of me and I can't -- [He shakes his head.] I can't do it anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Alexander M/Ash D

perspective
2014-03-22 01:25 pm UTC (link)

[Her hands come up to cover her face, shoulders shaking with the anger that had dissolved into sobbing, nothing more said to him as she tries to process everything that had happened. How stupid she was to hope that he might be different. How stupid she was to put him before her family in so many ways. And that- that's what has her looking up at him, eyes bloodshot and cheeks wet.]

I put you before my fucking family, Alexander! I risk that and it's just a game to you?! [The words are hissed at him, full of venom.]

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

predacious
2014-03-22 01:30 pm UTC (link)

[He actually winces at her words before any emotion is carefully pushed aside and he looks like nothing more than a blank wall, standing there. Only his eyes show any evidence of pain, but he keeps those averted.]

[Evenly.] Yes. My sister's heart went with Neil and so I was going to do my best to take you away from them. Once I knew who you were, that was the only goal I had. To take, as Neil had taken from me. Everything [and he trips on the word, frowns, tries again.] Everything I did was designed to get you away from them.

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

perspective
2014-03-22 01:34 pm UTC (link)

[Her eyes are fixed on him as he talks, and she catches it all. That wince, the trip on his words, and as soon as he tries to recover from that, she's on her feet again, because the simple thought that he's lying even now is just too fucking much to handle.]

Liar! [It's hissed out again, coming with another shove at his chest, fingertips only, and there's strength behind it, born of years on the rink.] You're lying even now, and that just pisses me off even more! I liked you! I took a bloody fucking chance with you! I haven't done that since Matthew and this is how- this is how you repay me? [Another shove, and she's sobbing openly.] I thought I loved you!

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

predacious
2014-03-22 01:44 pm UTC (link)

[He doesn't stop her, but goes back a step with every push until he can't quite take and grabs her, fingers on her upper arms.] Don't you get it? You are in danger, Ashleigh. This is the only fucking way I can keep you safe. Do you understand that? You have to go.

Whatever you think about me, whatever you think you feel, whatever you think I feel, it's all based on a lie.

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D

perspective
2014-03-22 01:51 pm UTC (link)

[She wanted to argue with him more, to try and cling to whatever it was she had thought they had, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. There's a sound from her, grief and sadness layered together, and she gives a firm shake of her head, pulling out of his grasp and stumbling over to grab her purse where it had been set earlier. She doesn't say anything, the ugly crying is too much to let words through, and more than a few people are staring at the pair as she storms off and out the doors of UMC into the Vegas night, and it's there that she finally sits, on the sidewalk with her butt planted down, knees bent up in front of her, and she leans forward until her head is pressed against her knees, and it all comes pouring out.]

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Re: Alexander M/Ash D + Alexander M/Dair D

predacious
2014-03-22 02:25 pm UTC (link)

[She goes and it feels nothing at all like relief as he watches her leave. He follows for a step, then two, and stops, because this is what needs to be done. She needs to go. She needs to be safe. He goes to check though and watches her on the sidewalk, body curled up, shoulders shaking with the tears he thinks she's shedding. Eventually he turns away and goes back to his sister's hospital room and cracks open the journal. He doesn't know about Neil yet, but he wouldn't write to him anyway.]

[Alexander M/Dair D]

Please come pick Ashleigh up at UMC. Keep her safe. Take her to the door or [...] wherever she feels safe.

[After the post is made, he closes the book.]

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	Re: Alexander M/Ash D + Alexander M/Dair D isalwaysangry 2014-03-22 05:56 pm UTC (link)
	[Dair is in Marvel so doesn't get this message.] [ooc: discussed with Piper!] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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