InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Like a nightmare come true."

Akuba Maeko (giantfruitbyday) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-14 07:08:00

Entry tags:

kanaye, maeko

Who: Maeko, Kanaye
What: ~important conversation~
Where: Kigakiga
When: Midday-ish. After everything.
Why: Maybe someone'll actually get somewhere with issues.

Maeko had, for a reason that will be confirmed when DSM gets back to me about it, managed to get Misaki safe or something.

She 'd stayed at Kigakiga after her shift was done (territory again. If they were going to have this sort of conversation then she wanted some comfort she could cling to.), bought herself some strawberry mochi icecream and texted Kanaye.

Free now. At Kigakiga.

(Post a new comment)

	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 07:15 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye checked his phone message. He noticed Maeko's text, sighed, and started walking over. He really didn't want to talk about this, especially not in public, but... Kanaye walked in and smiled at Maeko. "Hello, Maeko." (Reply to this) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-14 07:20 am UTC (link)
	Maeko had decided that the collapsing thing was totally due to low blood sugar and so it was completely okay to have finished most of the mochi before Kanaye even arrived. "Hey. You want one?" She asked, smiling. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-14 07:25 am UTC (link)

Kanaye looked at her smiled and sighed. "No thanks, I'd just throw it up anyway."

He sat down and looked at her. "You're probably wondering why I called you out here, right?" He sighed again. "That was a stupid question, of course you are..."

Kanaye stretched, then looked at Maeko again. "The reason I'm here is to ask a question. At first, I didn't think I'd need to actually ask this question. I mean, it seemed obvious. But now, I'm not sure. You passed out protecting Misaki, after all. It's noble, but..."

He growled a bit, but continued. "The point is I'm not sure whether you are here because you love me, or even like me, or if you feel the need to go out with me because you feel you owe me, or you feel sorry for me. So I need to ask."

"Do you love me, or is this just trying to make me feel better? Maeko, I know you're going to say that you love me no matter what you think, but I just want you to be honest. To actually look at yourself, and think for yourself for once. Don't be my comforter. Don't be Misaki's protector. Just be yourself and answer my question."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 07:35 am UTC (link)

"...you're sick?" Maeko started, responding to the first thing Kanaye had said. She silenced her concern more easily than she'd have liked to and listenned, growing streadily more uncomfortable. How was she even supposed to know something like that? It was entirely subjective.

"...I don't even know what that means. How do you detatch something like that from wanting you to feel better. Is there some kind of measure I'm unaware of?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 07:37 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye sighed. "Well, that answers my question..." "Look, Maeko, I mean do you love me? If I didn't need your help, if I wasn't so pathetic, if I was like this, but better...Would you still be with me?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-14 07:40 am UTC (link)
	Maeko gave this some thought, considering the last Mochi but suddenly much less hungry. "If you'd still asked me then of course I would." She said after some thought. "Not much would have changed." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-14 07:43 am UTC (link)

Kanaye smiled a bit, but still looked sullen. "Well, that's one good thing. I guess I'm not gonna get a straight answer, so..."

In an attempt to not make this a total waste, he nodded. "Seriously though, I know I'm repeating this, but..." He sighed. "It does hurt, you know. Knowing you love her then me. It's obvious, but..." He smiled weakly. "At least you love me."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 07:51 am UTC (link)

"I'd give you an answer if it was something I knew. But this sort of subjective thing..."

Maeko shook her head. "I'm sorry. I...I already said why I can't just let her go. And I know she's using it to pull my strings. Her shadow told me way back then that I was right but..."

She moved the mochi out of the was and slumped down in the table, sighing.

"I'd rather take the risk that I'm being manipulated than let myself be the kind of person who'd do something like that."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-14 07:57 am UTC (link)

Kanaye nodded sadly. "Well, guilt is never going to solve anything, but I do see what you mean. Well, I'm fine playing second-fiddle."

He took a deep breath and looked sternly into Maeko's eyes. And then smiled and laughed. "I just can't stay mad at you, Maeko. You're just too cute."

He tried again and failed. He resolved by just staring at the space in her general direction. "What I'm not fine with is you dying. Neither of us would want it. I get it if you sacrificed yourself to save her in paradise, but we don't know what happens if we die in the real world. I don't want to lose you, Maeko." Kanaye looked at the table, trying to look at his feet. "I just can't take losing someone else..."

He tried to smile again. It looked forced. "But...thanks, Maeko. You should come over to my dorm one of these days. We could try what happened at the karaoke place again. Only this time, Misaki won't follow us!" Kanaye's smiled at this point showed teeth.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 08:11 am UTC (link)

"As long as you're fine..."

Head still on the table, Maeko felt around blindly for Kanaye's hand. Then cheated and gave up and looked up to find it. She felt something, at least. Nothing she could easily quality as love but certainly something. And it was a lot more comforting than any territory could be.

"I'll be careful. Just because I'd be willing to...I don't want to die and I won't try to. I won't go anywhere, I promise."

Maeko missed the teeth. And the implication. "...wouldn't Ishinomori-kun be there, though? He...doesn't seem like the type who would leave the room too often." She worded 'he's a shut-in' in the most gentle way she could think of. Toru was Kanaye's friend, after all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-14 08:14 am UTC (link)

Kanaye grabbed her hand and sighed. "Maeko, will you please stop scratching at your hands? I mean, it's better then passing out, but still..."

"Thanks, Maeko." He smiled. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "Well, he does go to the arcade, sometimes. He doesn't leave much, true." Kanaye decided to ignore the Kazuya thing. "I could just ask for some alone time. He'd understand, especially if I offered to give him a game or something." Kanaye wasn't sure on this point, but it usually worked with other people. "If that doesn't work, we could just go to my house. You do work there, after all, and the uniform looks good on you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 08:28 am UTC (link)

"I don't scratch my hands..." Maeko said. At least she wasn't saying that while scratching them this time. "They just open up a lot. It's weird."

She shrugged and took Kanaye's hands in her own instead of giving that any more thought. It was nice to have anyone other than Misaki and Rumpelstiltskin to talk to, if nothing else.

"Huh?" Wouldn't that be kind of weird? She worked there and that was strange. The last thing she really wanted was to be reminded of the power difference between them. She voiced exactly none of this. "...okay, I guess."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-14 08:33 am UTC (link)

Kanaye sighed. "If you think so, Maeko."

He smiled a bit. "Well, technically, it was a bit of a stretch for me to hire you, given you're a straight female. But I managed to convince them in the end. My parents probably want to meet you, but if you aren't ready, then I'm fine with it."

Kanaye took a breath, then barreled on. "And I...well, I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. And you're special to me. And I...want to celebrate that." He doubted she would get it, but...