InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Shake it off, shake it off"

Akuba Maeko (giantfruitbyday) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-14 07:08:00

Entry tags:

kanaye, maeko

Who: Maeko, Kanaye
What: ~important conversation~
Where: Kigakiga
When: Midday-ish. After everything.
Why: Maybe someone'll actually get somewhere with issues.

Maeko had, for a reason that will be confirmed when DSM gets back to me about it, managed to get Misaki safe or something.

She 'd stayed at Kigakiga after her shift was done (territory again. If they were going to have this sort of conversation then she wanted some comfort she could cling to.), bought herself some strawberry mochi icecream and texted Kanaye.

Free now. At Kigakiga.

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zealousemperor
2009-12-14 07:43 am UTC (link)

Kanaye smiled a bit, but still looked sullen. "Well, that's one good thing. I guess I'm not gonna get a straight answer, so..."

In an attempt to not make this a total waste, he nodded. "Seriously though, I know I'm repeating this, but..." He sighed. "It does hurt, you know. Knowing you love her then me. It's obvious, but..." He smiled weakly. "At least you love me."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 07:51 am UTC (link)

"I'd give you an answer if it was something I knew. But this sort of subjective thing..."

Maeko shook her head. "I'm sorry. I...I already said why I can't just let her go. And I know she's using it to pull my strings. Her shadow told me way back then that I was right but..."

She moved the mochi out of the was and slumped down in the table, sighing.

"I'd rather take the risk that I'm being manipulated than let myself be the kind of person who'd do something like that."

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zealousemperor
2009-12-14 07:57 am UTC (link)

Kanaye nodded sadly. "Well, guilt is never going to solve anything, but I do see what you mean. Well, I'm fine playing second-fiddle."

He took a deep breath and looked sternly into Maeko's eyes. And then smiled and laughed. "I just can't stay mad at you, Maeko. You're just too cute."

He tried again and failed. He resolved by just staring at the space in her general direction. "What I'm not fine with is you dying. Neither of us would want it. I get it if you sacrificed yourself to save her in paradise, but we don't know what happens if we die in the real world. I don't want to lose you, Maeko." Kanaye looked at the table, trying to look at his feet. "I just can't take losing someone else..."

He tried to smile again. It looked forced. "But...thanks, Maeko. You should come over to my dorm one of these days. We could try what happened at the karaoke place again. Only this time, Misaki won't follow us!" Kanaye's smiled at this point showed teeth.

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 08:11 am UTC (link)

"As long as you're fine..."

Head still on the table, Maeko felt around blindly for Kanaye's hand. Then cheated and gave up and looked up to find it. She felt something, at least. Nothing she could easily quality as love but certainly something. And it was a lot more comforting than any territory could be.

"I'll be careful. Just because I'd be willing to...I don't want to die and I won't try to. I won't go anywhere, I promise."

Maeko missed the teeth. And the implication. "...wouldn't Ishinomori-kun be there, though? He...doesn't seem like the type who would leave the room too often." She worded 'he's a shut-in' in the most gentle way she could think of. Toru was Kanaye's friend, after all.

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zealousemperor
2009-12-14 08:14 am UTC (link)

Kanaye grabbed her hand and sighed. "Maeko, will you please stop scratching at your hands? I mean, it's better then passing out, but still..."

"Thanks, Maeko." He smiled. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "Well, he does go to the arcade, sometimes. He doesn't leave much, true." Kanaye decided to ignore the Kazuya thing. "I could just ask for some alone time. He'd understand, especially if I offered to give him a game or something." Kanaye wasn't sure on this point, but it usually worked with other people. "If that doesn't work, we could just go to my house. You do work there, after all, and the uniform looks good on you."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 08:28 am UTC (link)

"I don't scratch my hands..." Maeko said. At least she wasn't saying that while scratching them this time. "They just open up a lot. It's weird."

She shrugged and took Kanaye's hands in her own instead of giving that any more thought. It was nice to have anyone other than Misaki and Rumpelstiltskin to talk to, if nothing else.

"Huh?" Wouldn't that be kind of weird? She worked there and that was strange. The last thing she really wanted was to be reminded of the power difference between them. She voiced exactly none of this. "...okay, I guess."

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zealousemperor
2009-12-14 08:33 am UTC (link)

Kanaye sighed. "If you think so, Maeko."

He smiled a bit. "Well, technically, it was a bit of a stretch for me to hire you, given you're a straight female. But I managed to convince them in the end. My parents probably want to meet you, but if you aren't ready, then I'm fine with it."

Kanaye took a breath, then barreled on. "And I...well, I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. And you're special to me. And I...want to celebrate that." He doubted she would get it, but...

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	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 08:37 am UTC (link)
	"I-I mean, if you don't want to, I'm fine with that, but..." (Reply to this) (Parent)

giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 08:45 am UTC (link)

"Well of course I'd think so. I'd be the one who knew." Maeko said, wondering why so many people seemed to have it in thier heads that she did that.

Maeko managed not to say 'didn't you have it in your head I liked girls back then' because even she grasped that that was probably inappropriate.

"I appreciate the effort. I don't really need to work at two places any more now that Misa's paying her own rent but.." She started, nodding. She'd been meaning to quit for a while but doing that would mean admitting to herself that she had a reason to quit and that would mean admitting that this power divide existed. But now really wasn't the time to discuss employment so she shut up. "That's okay, I don't mind."

"You're wrong but-" She started again without thinking too much, missing the point entirely. "-but thanks, I guess."

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zealousemperor
2009-12-14 08:50 am UTC (link)

Kanaye smiled. "No worries. It'll look good on applications, right? But if you do get too tired, you can just quit. I could support you if you need extra money. I mean, you don't need it, but if you lose your job here or something. I just want what's best for you."

He shook his head. "No. I don't care what other people think, you're beautiful." Kanaye sighed. She DID miss the point. "I-what I mean is that I..." He took a deep breath. "I want to...love you, more then I already do. Take it to the next level."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 09:07 am UTC (link)

Maeko's reaction to even the suggestion that she be helped was a lot more agressive than she intended it to be.

"No." She said, snatching her hand back as if she'd just been burned. "You're right, I don't need it. I don't want it either." She realized after a few seconds just how violently she'd reacted to that and sighed. "Sorry..."

Maeko didn't manage to miss that one. Unless Kanaye was intending to imitate Kou and go on to say how he meant the next level of a video game or something (and she would have to strangle him if he did). She immediately tried to remember what Kozue had told her and failed. That said, knowing Kozue's reputation she could kind of guess. Maybe.

"...If that's what you want then it's okay." She said, nodding.

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	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 09:13 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye blinked. "Did I do something wrong?" Kanaye was honestly confused and a bit scared. "I...don't really know why you...Never mind, I won't bring it up." Kanaye breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Maeko. I mean, if you don't want to do it, I'm fine with that..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-14 09:21 am UTC (link)
	"I...I don't like being given things." Maeko said, admitting about half of the truth. "I'm sorry, if just feels weird." She gingerly reached out again, smiling. "It's okay. It's normal, right? I don't mind at all." The second this conversation was over she needed to hunt down Kozue. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 09:36 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye blinked, confused. Don't people like being given things? He shrugged, smiling. "Don't worry about it. I'll only help you if there isn't any other option, alright?" He grabbed her hands gently and smiled. "Well, alright. I don't want to do anything to hurt you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-14 09:50 am UTC (link)
	"There'll always be another option." She said, squeezing Kanaye's hands. "But thank you. I guess I'm glad you'd want to help, even if I don't need it." "It really is okay." She said, almost laughing. She was having to reaffirm this to Kanaye more than she was to herself (which was, of course, normal and a good thing but was nonetheless alien to her). (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 10:01 am UTC (link)
	"If you think so. But I don't want you doing Enjo Kosai or anything like that, got it?" The words were harsher then his tone. Kanaye was smiling. "If you change your mind, I'm always here." He smiled. "Thanks, Maeko. This really does mean a lot." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-14 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	"I wasn't intending on doing anything like that." Maeko said with an overexaggerated mock-pout, then laughed. "I really will be fine." "It's fine." She said, nodding. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 10:41 pm UTC (link)
	"Good!" Janaye nodded. "It really should be just you and me, yaknow?" And maybe Misaki, Kozue, or Toru, but... "Well, if you want something else, I'm fine with it, but yeah." Deciding that that conversation was done, he smiled. "What are you going to do know? You have to admit, you can't protect Misaki if you keep passing out like this." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-14 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	"It's fine. I like it this way." Maeko said, nodding. "I'm not sure. Misaki's gone homw for a few days. I'll be at my place for a few more days then we can both go back to the dorms..." She thought, then shrugged. "It'll work out somehow. It was only one time and I don't intend to do it again." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-14 11:02 pm UTC (link)

Kanaye shuddered. "Owch. Sucks to be her. I'd hate to go home to people like that."

He sighed. "Maeko, your persistence and desire to not give up is the reason I asked you out. It's a good quality. But you take it too far, sometimes. You can't just WILL your body not to pass out. You have to take care of it, and that means sleeping. I really don't want to have to ask Misaki to make sure you sleep, and I do NOT want to have to do it myself."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-14 11:19 pm UTC (link)

"It's not really the best place for her to be but...It's safter than her brother's place yould be. His shop's a business and she's spoken about it a lot before so it'd be easy to find. Residencial places are at least a little more difficult to look up. It's just for a few days, she should be fine..."

Maeko shook her head. "I can. I just need to try harder. And it's not like I'm not sleeping at all. I was just really worried for the last few days so I did the homework instead..."

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	zealousemperor 2009-12-14 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	Kanaye nodded and sighed. He was going to have to apologize to Misaki for this... "That's true. Well, we can't stop that now, right? Just gotta go with the flow." He sighed once again. "Maeko. If you try too hard, you're just gonna burn yourself out." Kanaye smiled. "Get some sleep, Maeko. Or else I'll have to help with that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-12-15 12:24 am UTC (link)

"...yeah. I'm sure she'll be okay." Maeko repeated, nodding to herself. "She managed it for years before. A few days can't be that bad."

"I'll be fine." She waved one hand, squeezing Kanaye's with the other and giggling a little at a joke she, for once, had not missed. It wasn't really funny but that was the fight response, right? She looked at the last mochi again, wondering if she should offer it to Kanaye just in case and then remembered what he'd said at the start of the conversation. She'd been focussing completely on how she was doing, how selfish! "You're doing okay, right? You said you were feeling sick before..."

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	zealousemperor 2009-12-15 12:32 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah, but...Leaving her with people that look down on her and hate her..." He sighed. "I feel sorry for her, even when she does ruin our dates." Kanaye smiled. "I'm fine. I was just worried sick about you. No need to worry about me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-15 01:09 am UTC (link)
	"She'll be okay." It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself. "I'm fine, see?" Maeko said, waving her arms around. Waving your arms around was, of course, the best way to demonstrate being fine. "Please don't make yourself ill over something like that!" She held out the last of the mochi. "Here, I ate nearly all of them, so..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)