InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hell no, I won't go."

Aoi, Misaki (pinksunbeam) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-11-27 22:19:00

Entry tags:

maeko, misaki

Who: Misaki and Maeko
When: After the whole discovery of S!Tom
Where: Dorm room
What: Talk about the party and what happened after
Why: Because we're evil I tell you...

Misaki was sitting on the bed and sighed as she read what happened at the party after her little vanishing act with Keiichi. She felt bad about what had happened earlier in the evening and knew that Maeko was going to probably have something to say about it. She was mentally prepared for anything.

Her body was still sore, and she had to wonder if her clothing still had a smell from...No she wouldn't dare to think like that. Maeko would probably freak out if she knew.

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pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 12:08 am UTC (link)

Misaki just stared at her and gasped, "Wait...you think...you think he's joking?! Maeko-chan, he's not! He's most definately not joking! Yes Sempai jokes a lot, but when it comes to this...Maeko-chan! He's in love with you! He adores you, he worships the ground you walk on!" She narrowed her eyes, "Do you know why I look like this...you think..." Misaki turned around and pullled out the contacts that she wore to give her eyes the blue color, showing light brown eyes under them. "There! See...fake eyes Maeko chan...fake hair color, fake eye color, fake fake fake!" She narrowed her gaze some. "You don't understand. He loves you. He adores you. This isn't a game to him Maeko-chan. He's terrified that you're going to leave him. You are not plain! You're beautiful. I don't know why you have it in your head that you are! And I make that food...I make it because I like to make it. I like making people have something that makes them happy even if it's just something that they can eat."

She looked down some, "You have a beautiful smile, you have a graceful walk, you have a great laugh...what more can I say. You're just...you're amazing. I always thought so. And you have to think so too. You deserve someone that can love you properly. That's...that's what I keep trying to tell him. He should treat you like a princess. Not try to kiss you and make out with you all the damn time."

"I'm not going to change a subject because I don't think it's right to just drop something I feel needs to be talked about. Then I'll stop saying that, but that doesn't mean that he's a terrible person like everyone keeps saying he is. Okay, yes I agree with you that Shirai san went over the line there, but...there's a good side to him too. Really, I'm not making that up Maeko-chan!" Misaki said, "Okay so maybe I'm being a bit selfish at times, I admit that I'm wrong. But you do the same thing. You insist on changing subjects when we talk about something that gets you upset instead of being honest about it and saying why you're upset. You're aloud to get mad and shout and cry and throw a tantrum if you get upset! It's allowed Maeko-chan, and I wish you would! I really wish you would."

"He's not like that! Kozue-chan was the one suggesting that I do that with him. He was willing to let me wait. The whole time he kept asking me if it was okay and telling me we could stop. Kozue-chan was his first time! He hasn't....he's not....Sempai also told me I was going to have to eventually so I did okay! Do I regret it, no, do I wish that I waited a bit longer, yes, but...I honestly wished that it was someone else okay!" Misaki told her and blinked hard again. "And the reason I asked was becauase it seemed like at the party you could have cared less that I was there or not! You were so busy with him that you didn't even come to look for me!"

Misaki winced and started to tremble some, tears threatening to come loose. "Damn it. Why do I have to be such a cry baby! I didn't ask because it's something that shouldn't come as a suprise to you after five years! You KNOW that my family doesn't just hug me and such! So can you blame me for wanting to be held by someone that I love? "

Misaki blushed and wiped her cheeks.

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giantfruitbyday
2009-11-30 01:44 am UTC (link)

"I don't see why else he would..." Maeko trailed off, shook her head and decided to end that line of thought. "It' not like it matters. If it's not a joke I'm not going to leave him anyway. You shouldn't take them out without looking in a mirror and washing your hands first, you'll infect your eyes."

"Changing subjects helps. Crying and throwing tantrums doesn't achieve anything." She nodded to herself at this. People didn't listen anyway. Expressing a problem without doing anything about it was a useless activity. "I didn't go look for you because when I went to go find you you were aleady with- wait...you wished it was someone else?"

"I don't blame you for it but it's not something that's obvious either. You have Ito-san now, I didn't think you'd need me."

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pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 02:16 am UTC (link)

"Becuase you're a wonderful amazing person that's why! And anyone with half a brain can see that! If they can't then they are well just silly and shouldn't be allowed to be with someone as wonderful as you!" Misaki told her and blinked, "It does matter, if you love him, really do, then you should tell him that. But don't force yourself to love him."

"But it lets you get out frustration. You don't want to keep thinkining like that! You should tell people what you feel. Cry scream rant! It helps!" Misaki cried out. "yes! I did...okay..." She looked down some. "A part of me was insanely happy but a part of me wished...it wasn't...that it was..."

"Of course I need you! Don't you get it!" Misaki grabbed her by the sholders and looked down at her feet as she talked, scared of the reaction Maeko would have. "I love Keiikun...but I love you too Maeko chan."

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	IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 06:40 am UTC (link)
	"I have told him that. You were there." Maeko had resumed spinning from side to side as she spoke. "It causes more problems without solving any-" Even if Misaki hadn't grabbed her shoulders she would have stopped spinning. "...um." She eventually managed. How WAS she supposed to respond to that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 07:18 am UTC (link)

Misaki looked down and took a breath, "That's why I've been so jealous alright. I...I don't know why, and I can only speculate as to when, but...I have...feelings for you Maeko-chan."

She swallowed some, "I love Keiichi too, that's the problem. I know I shouldn't, that...that you're my best friend. That we're supposed to care about each other but...I think I care more then I should."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 07:29 am UTC (link)
	"Well that's, um...nice?" Maeko still hadn't thought of a good way to respond to that. She was surprised she could still speak at all. "...what do you want me to do about it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 07:56 am UTC (link)

"I...I don't know," Misaki admitted sadly and looked at her afraid. "I know you probably don't feel the same way. And I'm scared that you won't want to be friends with a weirdo, but...I really don't know what to do about it Maeko-chan."

She closed her eyes and sat down on the floor, "I just don't know...I see him with you and I get jealous, but at the same time I want you to be happy. And it's not like I'm not happy with Keiichi-kun, it's just...different. I'll wake up in the middle of the night wondering what you're dreaming about then can't go back to sleep and wonder if you think me crazy if I tell you, or you think the same way about me or what. I feel kind of lost."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 08:08 am UTC (link)
	"I would if you wanted me to. But..." She trailed off then smiled. "But I'm already dating a weirdo, it's not like it'd make that much difference." No clue what to say. No clue what to say. "If it helps, I usually dream about-" She stopped suddenly. Maybe bird cages would be a poor thing to bring up in this already awkward conversation. "-anpan." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 08:23 am UTC (link)

Misaki frowned some and sighed, "Maeko-chan, that's not how things work. You have to WANT to be with the person yourself. Not because the person wants you to want to be with them. If that was the case then my brother would have had a harem by now."

She coughed on a laugh that came out of her, "I suppose in a way it wouldn't."

"Anpan? You dream about anpan? How...I mean...Well I do dream about cloth some time but..." She shook her head.

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Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

giantfruitbyday
2009-11-30 08:30 am UTC (link)

"Oh, okay. I guess I won't, then."

She thought desperately to find an easy way out of this whole conversation. The anpan dream seemed like an easy topic change.

"Yup! There's, um, I have an anpan! And I'm eating it and it's good! But then it turns out it had a big brother who is a huge anpan and who's really mad! And then its big brother eats me and I turn into bean paste."

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Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 08:37 am UTC (link)

Again Misaki looked confused. She couldn't follow what Maeko was saying, "Maeko chan, won't what then?"

Misaki paused a second then started to giggle. "That sounds like a rather distrubing dream. I've had ones where I'm wrapped up in cloth for hours and the cloth are attached to a giant spider that's weaving a web. And it has Ishino sensei's face for some weird reason."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 08:52 am UTC (link)
	"Feel the same way. If you don't want me to." "...Ishino-sensei? Weird." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' pinksunbeam 2009-11-30 08:59 am UTC (link)
	"Do you want to feel the same way? It's not my choice Maeko chan! Don't you see you have to decide what you want. Not me, Not Satou-sempai, just you." Misaki said getting up and sitting on her bed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 09:07 am UTC (link)
	"I don't want to decide what I want. It's stupid and any answer's incorrect. This way's far easier and it doesn't really change anything." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 04:40 pm UTC (link)

What! Was she serious! Misaki stared at her best friend. She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"That...why would you think that? There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to what you feel. If things don't change your relationship with a friends aren't going to grow. You're not going to change, nothing is going to change and then when the person changes they can't change with you." Misaki said softly remembering something her brother told her.

"I don't..." She paused and shook her head. "No...I want things to change. I want our relationship to change. I want it to be deeper I want to know the real you. And I can't seem to because you won't show me that side of you...and it doesn't help that I don't know if I'm coming or going does it."

Misaki sat back and sighed, "Which is partly why I wanted to leave town for a bit over the summer. Just to figured out who I am, without having outside sources tell me or note to me things...does that make sense."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 05:03 pm UTC (link)
	"...real me? That side of me? I don't get it." Maeko shrugged. "I'm not the witch again, if that's what you mean." She shrugged again, shaking her head. "Is that what the Tokyo thing was about? But you're coming back, right, so..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 06:24 pm UTC (link)

"It's the side of you that I don't get to see. I don't know how to explain it. You're always kind to me, but I don't think I get to see stuff about you that you show other people that you don't know too well. You...I think you try to keep up this image of how you were before, thinking that it'll make me feel better. But it doesn't and it hurts." Misaki told her softly.

"Yes, probably...I don't know..." Misaki honestly looked down. "It might be a week, it might be longer. I just...I want to figure out who I am. What I'm doing here. I just feel like I'm still as useless as I was before, only now I'm concious of that fact."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 06:57 pm UTC (link)
	"...you want me to not be nice? I don't get it. This is how I've always been, you'll have to explain." Maeko was honestly very confused. "That stuff just sounds confusing. But I guess if you nee a break then the summer break is the best time to do it. Don't forget to arrange time off at your job soon, they'll be mad if you don't do it in advance." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 09:09 pm UTC (link)

"What I want is for you to be honest. What I want is to know what you're feeling. Happy, sad, I don't want you to be a doll Maeko-chan. I want to see more then just...I don't know. I feel like you're not being yourself in front of me. It's like you're tip toeing around me, when I don't want you to." Misaki sighed.

Misaki paused, "Is that all you care about? Arrange time off from work, I know that I'm going to do that..." She got up testily. "No wonder my mother likes you so much. You sound just like her!"

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	"Why would you think that? I'm just...I don't get mad or sad about being around you because there's nothing to be mad or sad about." "Of course it's not all I care about but it's still important! If you forget then you'll get fired. That kind of stuff is just as important as this subjective 'finding yourself'." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 09:31 pm UTC (link)

"But that doesn't mean when I do something that bothers you you should ignore it! I'm your best friend right?! Shouldn't you show me when you're angry about something, or sad about something, or even annoyed with me! I don't mind, I want to see that! I want to see you being silly or sad, or frustrated or...whatever you're feeling!" Misaki shouted and threw her hands up.

"Yes I know! I'm not an idiot Maeko! Don't treat me as if I don't have my head screwed on!" Misaki snapped and put her hands on her hips. "Like I said you sound like my mother. Always going on and on about work and how it looks! Well I know I have to tell them. I am going to tell them!"

She rubbed her head and muttered, "Are you just playing being thick at times..."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 09:40 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm not treating you like that. You don't have to take so much offense to being reminded to do something!" Being called stupid was something that rarely failed to get a rise out of Maeko. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She growled, suddenly furious. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 10:04 pm UTC (link)

"Yes you are! When I tell you something important you just seem to freeze up and change subjects, just like she does. It drives me crazy!" Misaki snapped back and crossed her arms.

"It means you can be thick! You can't see whats happening in front of you, or you choose to ignore it! That's what it means. Oh but wait..you'll want to change the subject about that too! My misake."

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	Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' giantfruitbyday 2009-11-30 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	"That has nothing to do with reminding you to arrange time off at work! It's making sure you're okay, not treating you like an idiot." "Shut up!" Maeko snarled. Not even Misaki got to call her stupid. Especially not Misaki. "I know perfectly well what's going on, you just throw tantrums if I bring it up anyway!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE'

pinksunbeam
2009-11-30 11:43 pm UTC (link)

"I already did that like I told you! Why do you keep having to change the subject! God like I said you're acting like my Mother! " Misaki shouted back and frowned. "Why can't you for once just listen and get the point of what I'm saying to you! You act like I confuse you, but you confuse me more then anything!"

"How do I throw tantrums! I get upset because you act like things aren't important! You ignore things that could be vital to both of us, and then try to walk away from conflicts that you can't solve that moment! Things take time!" Misaki growled back.

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Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

giantfruitbyday, 2009-11-30 11:51 pm UTC

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

pinksunbeam, 2009-11-30 11:56 pm UTC

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

giantfruitbyday, 2009-12-01 12:07 am UTC

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

pinksunbeam, 2009-12-01 02:08 am UTC

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

giantfruitbyday, 2009-12-01 03:07 am UTC

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

pinksunbeam, 2009-12-01 03:13 am UTC

Re: IGNORE ALL MENTIONS OF RANK10-ING IN THIS THREAD OKAY. REPLACE THEM WITH 'PLAYING PATTYCAKE' -

giantfruitbyday, 2009-12-01 03:21 am UTC

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